I feel stuck.

[Naeema]

I'm feeling stuck. I feel strongly drawn to Islam. I've been learning and reading and praying for months now. There are moments when I feel like I should just cast any doubt aside and take the Shahada. Yet when asked recently by I friend to walk to the masjid with her right then - I froze - I couldn't do it. She says this is the shaytan whispering in my ear.

I don't have any other faith with which to fill my heart. I'm already in a neutral place, having walked away from Catholicism more than 15 years ago. I think I'm afraid that I might change my mind later - like that part of me that was vunerable to having faith ripped apart previously could do it again.

I have a professional career, a child, and a "normal" American family. I don't want confuse people or spend a lot of time defending my choice only to back off later. I've spend the last 15 years exploring different faiths. This feels very right, but maybe it's only right for right now? No disrespect intended, but like the difference between wanting a coke and needing a drink of water. How can you tell the difference when you can't really see the whole plan?

How do you know when reverting is really the right thing to do? Has anyone else walked up to the edge and then perhaps backed away?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

when you know somethings true, everything else fades away...

pretty soon no matter how difficult a path is, you feel that every other path is worthless. The only object of value lies through this path filled with hardship... so why would we turn our faces away for a momentary dillusion...

[joyous fairy]

Just.do.it.

[جوري]

when you know somethings true, everything else fades away...

pretty soon no matter how difficult a path is, you feel that every other path is worthless. The only object of value lies through this path filled with hardship... so why would we turn our faces away for a momentary dillusion...

I like what you've written there.. you've a remarkable character but I disagree.
If someone makes Islam akin to a soft drink, they're not sure if diet Dr. pepper or coke will be to their taste buds then they're not ready or they don't understand the religion, or the religion is merely in name when as you and I both know is a complete way of life..

I know I stand at odds with the majority of Muslims on this but I rather have quality Muslims than quantity Muslims..

to the OP: I wish you well in shaa Allah, you'll come to the right decision and not vacillate over it.



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[Snowflake]

Guidance is from Allah alone and nothing anyone says will affect you until Allah wills. If you truly desire the Truth, then simply ask God to guide you. And when He guides you there will be no doubt left and nor will shaytaan's whisperings affect you. It's as simple as that. :)

[Muwaahid]

Allah says, "Let there be no compulsion in, religion truth stands clear/distinct from falsehood, whoever DISBELIEVES IN FALSE DEITIES AND BELIEVES IN ALLAH THEN HE HAS GRASP THE TIGHTEST HANDHOLD THAT SHALL NEVER BREAK" According to the companions of the prophet [alayhi salam] they said the tightest handhold that shall never break is the saying laa ilaaha illa Allah [meaning there is no deity possessing the sole right to be worshipped in truth and by right except Allah]." So look at islam in its entirety, do you see the relevance in singling out Allah alone in worship? Do you realize that all those other things people worship, they worship them in falsehood because they are not worthy of worship. Every thing that they worship from nature or humans like Jesus and other than him, from trees and idols in which people formed or carved out of wood or stone with their own hands worthy of worship? I will narrate to you a story from the people of the past, once there was a man who was entrusted with the job of cleaning and caring for this idol, so everyday he would wash the idol and use perfume to make this idol smell nice and the people of his area would go there and offer food and sacrifice in front of the idol seeking the idols favor. Well one day a dog passed by it and lifted its leg to urinate on the idol so the custodian of the ido;l quicky chased the dog away and began to clean the idol with water and once again perfumed it, the next day the dog returned and marked his territory by urinating once again on the idol, so the custodian once again cleaned the idol in frustration and perfumed it once again and was everwatchful over the idol and took particular care to make sure that mangy dog would not return to once again disgraced his god. later on that evening the dog returns but the custodian was far off and couldnt reach the idol in time so once again the dog urinated on his idol, needless to say the custodian was angered immensely, but he stood infront of the idol and reflected deeply, "I was put in charge for the upkeep of this idol that I and my people worshipped, but upon my deep reflection I realized why should I worship something that cannot even protect its self from that mangy dog urinating on it." He realized that anything or anyone who could be assaulted or urinated upon with out some type of reciprocation of harm isnt worth worshipping. Now apply that to all those things that people worship besides Allah, Allah mentions in the Qur'aan concerning Jesus the son of Mary and Mary the mother of Jesus, He said, "Kaanaa Yaqulaani Ta'aam" meaning:" and they both ate food" Why did Allah mention that you may ask? Because if some one eats then it is a must that they have a call of nature [i.e defication and urination] so one who is given to a call of nature is a defect and a deficiency from being worthy of worship, In the bible it mentioned that jesus was crucified, beaten, and harmed, now reflect deeply, the Creator who created the heavens and earth, the sun the moon the stars, planets and galaxies and blackholes, trees, stiones, water, our sight, the fact that we breathe and eat, and hear and have the ability to procreate, the one who causes our heart to beat, the one who knows how many times we inhaled and exhaled and how many times we blinked, can this powerful being who did all this be defeated by His creation? Could He be crucified? Of course not! So the logical conclusion is that we, accept Islam and worship Allah alone because He is the only One who is worthy of Worship, Allah is the One who Feedeth but is not fed. I invite you to worship Allah alone, Aslam Taslam! [Accept Islam and be saved] Saved from the worshipping of created being who provide no benefit nor cause any harm, Worship the One who created you and gave you the ability to see His signs, who gave you the abilty to hear His Qur'aan, the One who gave you intellect to recognize the Truth of Islam and the truth found in the Qur'an, The One who bestows guidance upon those who earnestly seek it! Accept Islam and we welcome you to a brotherhood and sister hood who will love you for Allah's sake and will assist you in understanding and practicing this beautiful religion. Doubts are mere whispers but the Truth is like a deafening Thunder that strikes fear in everyone who has the ability to hear. Wa Billahit-Tawfeeq [And succes is only granted by Allah]

[Signor]

Listen His Words carefully,He do have all the fears and stereotypes in his mind.

Once again I agree with Sis Snowflake.Its right on spot

[Mustafa2012]

Please read through this thread about Stories of Muslim Reverts

Insha Allaah I hope it will give you some inspiration.

Also pray to Allaah to guide you and make clear for you which path or way of life is the one that He is pleased with for you to follow. Keep making that du'aa and insha Allaah you will be guided.

[Rhi]

I am sort of in the same boat as you. I was Christian until I was eleven and then I dabbled around in Wicca and the Occult. But I have been researching all sorts of religions since then (for three years) but Islam is the one I keep coming back to. I hope I will research it to death and maybe even revert. :)

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

Good luck to you both. May Allah lighten your path to islam and make it easy to you. All reverts have been in the same path where you are now.


:statisfie

[Muhaba]

You might want to read commentary of the Quran. it might help you make the decision and enlighten you about the religion too. i suggest you start with the last Chapters first because they are shorter. You might also want to read just the translation of some Surahs (Chapters) at http://www.quran.com and then read the commentary of chapters or verses you don't understand or find interesting.
You can read one commentary at: http://www.tafheem.net/tafheem.html

I hope you find guidance and can make the decision of conversion soon. Islam is such a beautiful religion, perfectly according to human nature.

[islamica]

As snowflake said, guidance is from Allah alone. All the revert stories I have read said the same thing, many were lost in the dark not knowing where to go and many had other circumstances but all of them wanted the truth and a way out from the bottom of their heart and Allah showed it to them. Even Muslims have weak faith at moments and are not too sure of their faith, heart is a fickle thing that goes up and down. If you have not read the Quran yet then I would encourage you to do that. What we say and what Allah says to you (in the Quran) are two different things. The second chapter (surah Bakara -the cow) is mainly about addressing the people of the book. I've read stories of reverts who never met a Muslim in their life and live in the middle of the no where they became Muslim by just reading the Quran and realize the message in there. Inshallah read the word of Allah and see what He has said it in. Then listen to your heart and see what it says.

[Naeema]

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies. While I had studied selected Surahs previously (and my Arabic has improved as a result), I've started reading a translation straight through, trying to read about a juz a day. It is helpful to read that others have had a similar time of stumbling about and not feeling complete clarity. One of my friends is just so convinced that it's the right thing, I know I have felt pressure from her that seems to make me push back.

I also think I may be a bit like the man in the video you linked, SaneFellow. We have had a similar experience in the Muslim community - what I think of as "come for the food, stay for the religion". At around 8:30, he starts to tell the story of the night he was on his cliff and needed a little push. He tells it far better than I can - I really recommend watching that part to anyone else who stumbles across this thread.

[Signor]

he starts to tell the story of the night he was on his cliff and needed a little push.

Here is the transcript of the stated part:

One night I decided to really trying get this spiritual mood happening and I'm sure probably some of you had heard this story before, so I apologize

I lit the candle, I had the window open

I had the curtain strung, and I was trying to get that really spiritual feeling

It was a nice summer night in Melbourne, summer that can get you heaven

And I was sitting there and I thinking "this is it.." you know, this is the night..

I have been.. you know.. investigating all the spiritual proofs,

all the scientific proofs about the fact the mountain of the piths.,

about, you know, how the embryo develop inside the woman,

all this amazing proofs, but I still needed that little push.

It was like I was at the edge of the cliff, I was ready to jump, I just need the push

So I was sitting there, sitting quite, I was reading Quran, I stopped,

I said, Allah.. this is my moment, this is the time I'm about to jump into Islam,

all I need is a sign, just a little sign, nothing huge, maybe a bolter brightly,

You know.. maybe.. the house could fall down.. or something you know..

something just small, small for you man, you created this, come on.

So I sat there, I was waiting for the candle to start lighting up to form mating high like in the movie.

Then I say, "ok.. GO!"

And Subhanallah nothing, absolutely nothing happens,

I was really disappointed to be honest,

so I sat there and I sad, Allah.. this is your chance, I'm here. I'm no going no where.

I'll give you another chance, okay maybe you busy, you know..

daytime over the other side of the world, all of the stuff going on..

maybe this time I could just leave kaabah flooring, you know, something small..?

the candle.. Lets forget that, I do where could find that, so I don't care, just anything.

So I say "ok, GO!"

And Subhanallah nothing absolutely happens,

and I mean I couldn't even said urr.. that was it, that creep that was sat on the wall, that was it.

Absolutely nothing happens, I was really disappointed, I was gasses.

I was sitting there, thinking "this is it..", you know, this was my last chance, Islam..

and I really, I haven't found it.

I put back the Quran, and turn back to where I was reading.

Subhanallah, the very next verse, on the next page;

“For those of you who ask for signs, have we not shown you enough already, look around you, look at the stars, look at the sun, look at water, these are the signs for people of knowledge.”

Source

Also anyone who wants to know a little more about Brother Abu Bakr(like I once was),click here

Assalamu Alaikum

[Naeema]

Just a quick update, I am no longer stuck. Alhamdulillah!
Jazak Allah Khair for all the advice.

[tw009]

SubhanAllah! looks like you have reverted to Islam. May Allah keep you firm in your faith and ease all your affairs.

[Abu Loren]

How do you know when reverting is really the right thing to do? Has anyone else walked up to the edge and then perhaps backed away?

As'alaamu Alaikkum

You've already answered this question yourself. You said you are strongly drawn to Islam that is because Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala is guiding you to His Straight Path and all you have to do is take a side step on to that Path.

However, at the back of your mind will be things like what will my friends and family say? What will my colleagues say or do when they find out? As you are living in America then it is even tougher as people do not really understand Islam. What's at stake is th salvation of your soul.

Just a quick update, I am no longer stuck. Alhamdulillah!

Alhamdulilah now you are like a new born baby if you have taken the Shahada. All of your past sins are forgiven by Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. However, the realy test in your life starts now. Satan will be working overtime to put doubts in your head. Expect nasty remarks and other trials from friends and possibly family.

I'm also from a Roman Catholic background. When I used to go to church I never felt anything, I was very numb, I sometimes felt like what the heck am I doing here? When I used to see the figure hanging on the cross I used to question myself can that really be god? I felt awkward worshipping a wooden cross and kissing these statues and figurines.

Finally, If you have any questions then please ask as there are so many sisters here with knowledge Alhamdulilah.