■■ Beauty is Skin Deep ■■

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~Zaria~

~Zaria~

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SubhanAllah, well said.....


■■ Beauty is Skin Deep ■■
​



■Question:

I am going to be getting married shortly.The girl that I am proposed to is pious and Deeni conscious, however I'm not too sure of getting married to her because she is not as good looking as my friends wife and others.What should I do?

■ Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu `alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

You compare the beauty of your friend’s wife to your “wife’’.
What would you do if your wife was more beautiful than your friend’s wife and you came across another woman more beautiful than your wife? When will this comparison stop?

Beauty is relative and competitive. No amount of beauty will fulfil you. Furthermore, what if you your wife is extremely beautiful but she has bad conduct. She backchats you, screams at you and makes life miserable. Will you still enjoy her beauty?

Beauty is skin deep and temporary. If you chase a woman because of her beauty, what if her form and figure changed upon birth or due to unforeseen circumstances, will you change her?

If you found a woman who is reasonably good looking but has good values and sound character, you should be content with that. The beauty of a woman is admired for a few days in the beginning of the marriage, thereafter one lives with the conduct of the person.

Don't be deceived by beauty. Don't compare your wife to other women. Be happy with her as a person. Say to yourself you're happy with her.


And Allah knows best.
By. Mufti Ebrahim Desai
 
:jz:

I wish we could remind ourselves of this each day. Although it is very difficult if you live in the west :(
 
السلام عليكم

The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said, “Verily, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather He looks at your hearts and actions."

- [Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Number 6220]
 
Fulan is in middle of 30's age, but he still unmarried. His friend ask him.

Friend:Have you tried to find a wife?
Fulan: Yes, I have meet several girls. They have good character, polite, modest, can be a good wife, and the most important, they are willing to accept me as a husband
Friend: Why didn't you marry one?
Fulan: They are not beautiful enough. Sorry, I want to have a beautiful wife
Friend: Are there other girls?
Fulan: Yeah, there are several other girls, and they are beautiful. They are women who I want as a wife!
Friend: So, why didn't you take one?
Fulan: Buddy, ..... no one of them want to marry me.
 
The complications of women not covering their faces and men not lowering their gaze.

~Zaria~ said:
however I'm not too sure of getting married to her because she is not as good looking as my friends wife and others
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Jalal~ said:
lol, poor Fulan...
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That's based on true stories, bro. But in the real world, people like Fulan usually later change their minds into "not beautiful it's okay, as long as she can accept me and can be a good wife".
 
The cause why a man becomes shallow and 'targeting' only beautiful woman is not because he want to show off to other men, but because he want to show the women that he is able to get a 'high quality' woman.

This is related to nature of men that always want to look great in the women's eyes.
 
It's whts inside tht counts I think cuz once u grow old u don't have the same kinda of face one gets wrinkles n the skin starts sag nth remains the same.a person should b beautiful from the inside cuz thts gng to stay with u forever :)
 
In Saheeh Muslim it is reported that the Prophet sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam said: “Allaah does not look at your outward appearance and your wealth, rather He looks at your hearts and deeds.”
 
Salaam! beauty is only skin deep. Being new to Islam and American, I can tell any person who marries another because of their pretty face or pretty body is asking for trouble.
I have seen many marrieages fail because the guy chooses the prettiest woman to marry and show off to his friends and family. In some cases, the woman may be promiscuious (have other boyfriends lurking around), not willing to hijab, not respectful of the marriage, not honoring her husband, still likes to party at the nightclubs, not a great mother to the children, etc.
After a few kids, stress, and lots of drama, the beauty fades. Then what will you do? :hmm:

The Quran says to choose a woman because of her piety FIRST. Allah knows best. :statisfie
 
Periwinkle18 said:
Harder if u live in Paki land :p
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Actually, men will not marry a woman who does not meet their standard of beauty.

But, there are two standard of beauty.

First: Public's Standard. This is beauty which everyone say "she is beautiful". Example of Public's Standard of Beauty is Bollywood actresses. This standard is fixed.

Second: Personal Standard. This is what we often heard as "beauty is in the eyes of beholder". This standard is flexible.

If a man who uses Personal Standard meet a woman who is not beautiful but has other things that attract him like good character, this man would lowering his standard of beauty with convince himself "Okay, her beauty is enough". Like I have said, this standar is flexible.

Unfortunately, from what I have noticed, many men in Pakistan use Public's Standard to choose women who they want to marry. They only want to marry women who everyone say "she is beautiful". When they find a good woman but not beautiful, they cannot lowering their standard. Like I have said, this standard is fixed.

But why those Pakistani men cannot use Personal Standard?. ^o)
 
Pakistani men usually leave it to the women of family to find the right girl for them and the standards are actually set by their mums and sisters not them.Whichever women their Mom's select for them,they accept her happily and this happen in majority of cases.
 
the prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam said that we should concentrate on the good things of our partner rather then the flaws.

to be honest beauty has stopped mattering to me like it once use to. now all i want is a girl who i can be happy with and who whenever i look at her i can benpleased. i dont mean be plefased with her looks but with her as a person.
 
Endymion said:
Pakistani men usually leave it to the women of family to find the right girl for them and the standards are actually set by their mums and sisters not them.Whichever women their Mom's select for them,they accept her happily and this happen in majority of cases.
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Yeah but you know how that goes. They have such high standards that when you hear them talking, you want to smack your head. But I will stop there. Dont want the thread to digress. :hiding:
 
She backchats you, screams at you and makes life miserable. Will you still enjoy her beauty?
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My problem is you may think you are marrying someone with good character and sacrifice the looks, thinking "Naah, beauty is only skin deep" then you realise she has bad character and still looks like shrek:grumbling

Then what do you do?? I'd rather take the looks upfront, it's the only certainty I have.:coolalien
 
Paprika said:
My problem is you may think you are marrying someone with good character and sacrifice the looks, thinking "Naah, beauty is only skin deep" then you realise she has bad character and still looks like shrek:grumbling

Then what do you do?? I'd rather take the looks upfront, it's the only certainty I have.:coolalien
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why would you marry a shrek? LOL

you should ALWAYS ALWAYS be attracted to the one you marry. we're talking about ridiculous stereo types of beauty here
 
lol u guys are talking abt shrek n i found this

527489_10152224652430434_582893854_n.jpg
 

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