New Muslims and asking controversial questions

[MissK]

As a new Muslim, does anyone else feel as if they're ability to learn is stifled because other Muslims are unwilling (or unable)to engage in sound dialogue?

One thing that caused me to revert to Islam was the questions that I could not find answers to in Christianity. The ones I needed most, I found answers to in Islam, Alhumdilallah! Now as a Muslim, I have a lot to learn, and I am not the type of person to whom you can say "just believe" or "that's just the way it is." So I study and research, and ultimately, I ask questions. I'd like to ask those questions of other Muslims, born Muslims, those who are more versed in Islam than I am. Yet, I find that when I ask "why" about anything, I usually get people looking at me as if I disbelieve.

So although I live in a Muslim country where I am daily surrounded by Muslim friends, I find myself feeling silenced. I know its hard to have your beliefs and actions questioned, but isn't it the role of Muslims to help guide those who are new to the religion? And as a born or new Muslim, aren't we required to seek further knowledge and understanding of Islam? How can we do this without asking questions?

Maybe it's because of my current place of residence. Does anyone feel as if they get this same result in the US?

[جوري]

I have browsed a few of your posts and they're not written in question form, they're written in assertion form.
I don't personally think people should enter into Islam without study and proper scholarship- we end up with deviants and a forum any forum isn't a place to pursue ones education. There are courses that you can take and scholars you can study under. But bringing your own interpretation from sketchy websites and asserting that this is it or how do you explain it, to me isn't proper etiquette for learning nor a positive medium for learning.
I also notice you liking posts as a recent one I have noticed from a professed satanist. How are we to interpret that? in other words when you forgo the long replies which some have labored to put together for you.
It is good to see things from our perspective as well. It isn't a question of how far you're in your education, it is a question of seeking the replies that apply to your personal whimsey and a tone that makes the most clement person doubtful of your intents.

best,

[MissK]

So....Why do I feel as if you're following me? You have said in other threads that you are not happy with my posts or the way that I pose my questions or respond to others. So please, I will give you the respect of not responding to any of your threads, and I would appreciate if you could give me the same. Maybe I am flawed in my questioning technique. I never claimed to be perfect. And by the way, I attend a new Muslim class every week in order to gain more knowledge of Islam.This post is sincere and addressed to new Muslims, as I would like to get their opinions and experiences on the topic. Shukran.

[MissK]

If we waited until we had full scholarship in Islam prior to entering, we'd all be doomed because there is always more knowledge to be gained and no one is aware of when this life will be over.

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[جوري]

It's a free open forum and you're indeed welcome not to read- you're not the only person who frequents it - I think other guests are owed an explanation as to why you receive some of the replies you do!
Also if you're located where you proclaim then all the more reasons for people to be quizzical - how many would kill to have the opportunity to be in a Muslim majority country where Arabic is the tongue and a mosque or school on every corner where you can obtain proper guidance for the asking!


Best,

[جوري]

Per your other post at least have a proper foundation this is a life altering long term commitment not a fast food meal!

Best,

[GuestFellow]

:sl:

I think you need to start from the basics. Learn under an Islamic scholar...

Check IslamOnline University.

Have you used the search facility? There are questions which members have already addressed.

[Perseveranze]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

It's due to knowledge. If people are layman, they wouldn't want to delve into matters that they're not 100% sure about. Telling someone that "this is what Islam says" when they themselves know that they may be wrong, usually spells towards disaster and regret; as that person may now be mislead due to false information. In a lot of cases, people end up arguing without realising that not a single one of them has a clue what they're talking about.

That's why, it's best to speak with a proper scholar instead, who would be able to answer "controversial" questions with full understanding of the Islamic theology.

Islam is huge, really huge. People don't realise that even the most simplified things (for laymen to understand) have such a detailed and rich discussion that is truly within the realms of the great learned Scholars.

[MissK]

Thanks for your response. I do receive answers from some people, and they are brief. They then tell me that I should definitely refer it to a scholar as they don't feel qualified to answer and they would hate to mislead me.

[Aprender]

As a new Muslim, does anyone else feel as if they're ability to learn is stifled because other Muslims are unwilling (or unable)to engage in sound dialogue?

No. Other Muslims happily taught me what they knew and whatever they didn't know they referred me to someone more knowledgeable the first few months after I took my shahada. I like that a lot. When I was a Christian it was easy to just go to the pastor of a church and ask questions but when they didn't have the answer they told you to just believe. After that all you could do was turn to God for answers then which is what got me interested in Islam.

Alhumdilallah! Now as a Muslim, I have a lot to learn, and I am not the type of person to whom you can say "just believe" or "that's just the way it is."

I'm glad no one has EVER told me that as a Muslim. In fact over and over and over again I am cautioned against blind faith. Very first Muslim I met when I was at the university said one of the reasons why she loved the religion was because asking questions was welcomed. I thought that was cool coming from a Christian background where the answers to my normal questions were "just have faith."

Yet, I find that when I ask "why" about anything, I usually get people looking at me as if I disbelieve.

I haven't seen many questions from you on here but I've seen a few of your comments. You really have to be careful about the way you're asking questions. It's one thing to ask a question about how to pray salah or why we have to pray toward the Qibla. It's another thing to teeter on completely doubting the authenticity of the hadith without first even knowing or understanding how they're preserved. That's a huge deal and there is entirely too much nonsense out there masked as Islam. I studied Islam a good 4 years before I finally just took my shahada. Enough to get the basics and I still feel like I know nothing. I still can't wait to read and understand the Quran for the first time in Arabic, in shaa Allah. I kept trying to find something wrong or bad about the religion so I would have an excuse not to accept it. I agree with you that you shouldn't try to wait until you learn "everything" about Islam because that alone is going to take a lifetime and even then there would probably have been more you could have learned. But certainly before you became a Muslim some of the basic stuff you studied and questioned beforehand?

Another thing is that if you're a fairly new Muslim like me, the doubts and the waswas are going to come on strong. You're going to be fighting with yourself a lot to keep your new found faith and everywhere you look is going to be something to try and take you off the path. Tests are going to come and if you thought you knew what it meant to be patient the word is going to be completely redefined now. Most Muslims aren't scholars and they don't want to mislead you. Anything they tell you at this point could be enough to make you walk away from the religion all together because your world view is very much shaped by an old way of thinking before you were Muslim. I used to think housewives were sad and pathetic because I was influenced by that feminist mentality that is rampant here in the U.S. and now I would love the chance to be a wife and mother in shaa Allah. But that's why some people shy away from answering such questions because they don't want to be the ones to mislead you. I think that the first few years after coming into Islam is when a revert is the most mentally vulnerable. I'm still not in the clear yet.

Lastly, we get a lot of awful, sad people on this forum who insist on causing problems here. Some of them fake Muslims. Some of them so-called ex-Muslims claiming to be Christians. Many of us here have tried to reach out and help those we really thought were in need but they turned out to just be here to deceive us. I myself made this mistake trying to help someone who I thought was a sister here but turned out not to be. Don't hold it against some of the other members here if they are skeptical of the questions you ask--especially if they're framed in an in-your-face kind of way or touching on anti-Islamic rhetoric. We get a whole lot of people here who just love to post questions they read from anti-Islam websites and it's old, it's pitiful and it's tiring. People type out long replies and often times they get ignored by such members or completely not addressed. No one wants to waste their time doing something like that to help a fellow Muslim out when they're not sincere to begin with. That's time one could have been doing dhikr or listening to an awesome Islamic lecture instead.

Don't be too hard on sis شَادِنُ either. When I was a Christian on this forum she was one of the first ones to reach out and help me learn a lot about Islam personally.

May Allah increase us all in faith, help us all become more knowledgeable in this religion and help us worship Him in the way that is pleasing. Ameen.

[MissK]

You really have to be careful about the way you're asking questions. It's one thing to ask a question about how to pray salah or why we have to pray toward the Qibla. It's another thing to teeter on completely doubting the authenticity of the hadith without first even knowing or understanding how they're preserved.

You're right. I actually have learned quite a bit about hadith and the preservation because I find that most of the support I get is based on the hadith. I didn't feel that I could follow it (in good conscience) until I knew where it came from, who was responsible for it, etc. So that prompted my further interest in its history. Neverthless, I didn't feel the need to preface my questions with why I was asking, but maybe if readers were better aware of my intent, they'd be more open to the questions.

We get a whole lot of people here who just love to post questions they read from anti-Islam websites and it's old, it's pitiful and it's tiring. People type out long replies and often times they get ignored by such members or completely not addressed. No one wants to waste their time doing something like that to help a fellow Muslim out when they're not sincere to begin with.

Point taken. At the same time, I think we (myself included) have to be careful not to read into questions/responses without knowing the intent behind them. I often tell my friends to stop arguing with people through text messages, IMs, etc because its very easy to misinterpret someone's tone in these settings, especially when you don't know them personally. I have Christian friends now who are asking me questions about Islam, (some simple that I can answer, and some more difficult that I can't). If I didn't know them personally, I might assume that they had ill intentions. But I do get what your saying.

Thanks for your response! It was really very helpful. I think the issue that i'm experiencing is linked first to my location. I started to think about what I have experienced thus far and the culture in this area, as well as the language barrier that presents itself. While I have received the response I mentioned earlier from some people, I think that my feeling silenced in general comes from my surroundings rather than people being unwilling to help. Sometimes I just don't ask questions because I don't want my meaning or intent to be lost in translation.
Alhumdilallah, I do have one very good American Muslim friend here who goes out of her way to help me gain a better understanding of Islam or at least listen to my questions without judgement.

[Hulk]

"And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart - about all those [one] will be questioned." - Sura Al Isra' Verse 36


On the same note, it's also not good to ask questions excessively. Questions that bring about no benefit. Like that one guy the other day who asked whether trees/animals were commanded to prostrate to Adam(as). I really find it amusing when non-muslims come on here and ask questions about Islam, and yet the questions interestingly has little to nothing to do with the actual message of Islam.

"Can you feed your pet pork?"
"If you're a musician who converted to Islam is your own music haram to you?"
etc

[جوري]

"Can you feed your pet pork?"
"If you're a musician who converted to Islam is your own music haram to you?"

:haha: brilliant-- so glad it ain't just me who shrugs in utter amazement! :D

[YusufNoor]

maybe it's because of my current place of residence. Does anyone feel as if they get this same result in the US?

:sl:

where i live, most Muslims are of the Shaafi'i mudhab. i can get alot of questions answered without asking them. i try to be respectful and ask questions that i think the person can answer. i put a lot of thought into issues that puzzle me, if i do ask a question that someone might not be able to answer, i preface my question with that statement and tell them why i am asking the question. i usually tell them what i think the answer is,and why, BEFORE i ask. as i put time in the study of the Seerah, knowing why legislation exists helps to reason answers. i have a great time with the Sheikhs and Imams who speak English, and i never try to embarrass them or challenge them in any way. they come to me when they need help with explaining things in English.

i DO challenge a lot of others, but it is mostly in areas of how we perceive and treat others. i like to challenge mindsets, not Shariah.

Allah made things easy on me be letting me find Mufit Menk and Dr Bashar Shala early on, and the finding Dr Bilal Philips and Jamaal Zarabozo; Nouman Ali Khan came a bit later. Menk and Shala are simply awesome for dawah purposes. the later 3 are jewels if you can't read or speak Arabic.

that being said, if you are certain on an issue of fiqh as presented by Philips or Zarabozo, you should use respect and caution if it is not in agreement with Imam Shaafi'i. manners come into play.

manners always come into play. no male Muslim says "i won't teach you" something that they know. on the other hand, you should gauge what might not be appropriate and save it for the Imam.

on the Boards, i might pick on folks a little more, but when we put stuff in writing...in just seems to have a life of its own. its easy to write something and post it, and then when you look at those words all by theirself...well, they can look rather different.

have to hit post, it's duhr time.

ma salaama

[michael83drebb]

Wow! I see a lot of sense in a few of those posts and at the same time I see where sister missk is coming from,I myself am a new muslim and being born an raised in london find it hard to not to question a lot of things however it doesn't necessarily mean ones being rude or ignorant. Don't get me wrong this is the only post of missk's I've read but my point is unfortunately we are all moulded by the society around us and if for all our lives we've had a 1 way of thinking then it is very hard for some to just "accept" what we're learning now without asking what some may see as simple to understand. And to be fair it isn't always that easy to get the answers from highly educated muslims unless you know where to find said individuals. I personally find a lot of useful stuff about islam from peace tv sky channel 820 and due to the fact there's speakers from across the globe from china-usa and india-england I found it very eye opening and that same dr bilal phillips is there too. I'd suggest sis missk that maybe you look through what you write before posting but NEVER be afraid to ask because how can we learn properly without asking questions. For anyone who disagrees maybe you should try jumping outside of the box just for a moment and think how you'd feel if confronted with something you know nothing about and I say that in a polite friendly sense not a rude one. Love to all and I Hope Allah swt guides us to knowledge and the correct path. Mikey

[Hulk]

brilliant-- so glad it ain't just me who shrugs in utter amazement!

I guess it's something one notices after spending some time on the forum ;D

[جوري]

I guess it's something one notices after spending some time on the forum

ahh..:alhamd: once the newbies start losing their mind too with some of the indigenous locals and you learn you're not alone you start feeling better...

[cottonrainbow]

As a new Muslim, does anyone else feel as if they're ability to learn is stifled because other Muslims are unwilling (or unable)to engage in sound dialogue?

One thing that caused me to revert to Islam was the questions that I could not find answers to in Christianity. The ones I needed most, I found answers to in Islam, Alhumdilallah! Now as a Muslim, I have a lot to learn, and I am not the type of person to whom you can say "just believe" or "that's just the way it is." So I study and research, and ultimately, I ask questions. I'd like to ask those questions of other Muslims, born Muslims, those who are more versed in Islam than I am. Yet, I find that when I ask "why" about anything, I usually get people looking at me as if I disbelieve.

So although I live in a Muslim country where I am daily surrounded by Muslim friends, I find myself feeling silenced. I know its hard to have your beliefs and actions questioned, but isn't it the role of Muslims to help guide those who are new to the religion? And as a born or new Muslim, aren't we required to seek further knowledge and understanding of Islam? How can we do this without asking questions?

Maybe it's because of my current place of residence. Does anyone feel as if they get this same result in the US?

Assalamu alaikum, MissK!

Honestly, sis, it depends on what you are asking, and how it is worded. Muslims, like any other, first and foremost are human and most humans do not like to be challenged or doubted (even if that is not your intent).
Before converting to Islam, I studied with and hung around Muslims. I took beginner classes at the Masjid to get the basics. I learned to practice Wudu so that Allah would grant me a clean heart, body, and mind before I opened His Glorious Book and misinterpreted or misunderstood it.

Be patient, as it is a process. You live and learn as you go. Pray and practice in sincerity and Allah SWT will surely guide you. :statisfie

You will not be blamed for something that you have no knowledge of. I am answering you now, yet I cannot quote from the Quran like some of the more learned Muslims here, because I do not wish to misguide you or have you think that I know something that I simply do not know.

Here is where you can start:
Begin by learning basic Wudu and Salat in your language (then in Arabic). There are books and numerous websites to follow. You can ask me about this.
Practice duas. Start simple. Ask Allah for guidance and mercy. Thank Allah.
Cover and protect yourself (Hijab)
Go to masjid when possible to consult with the Imam.

[Signor]

^^Sis Cottonrainbow,Considering you a revert you have adopted and suggested a great approach,Hats-off to you.I really like it.

[MissK]

Thanks for your response. :-) I actually have done and continue to do the things you've mentioned. I think the problem for me is the last one. Speaking with an Imam is difficult, as where I live, English speaking Imams are hard to find. In the meantime, I will continue to read and learn what I can on my own and inshallah, the guidance from Allah will come.

[MartyrX]

Assalaam alaikum sister.

I don't come around here very often. It's hard as a new Muslim to gain knowledge and questions should always be welcome. I think some of our brothers and sisters need to remember is that not everyone has been a Muslim for years or were born into a Muslim family. It takes time especially when you are coming from a different faith.

[GuestFellow]

As a new Muslim, does anyone else feel as if they're ability to learn is stifled because other Muslims are unwilling (or unable)to engage in sound dialogue?

:wa:

Just read books.