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muslimah1711
02-06-2013, 03:55 PM
Salaam

Firstly. I know what ive done and if you want to leave nasty comments, it's not really any help but i do expect them.

Iv'e been doing something very sinful (been in a relationship with another man) for 7 months whilst being married.
I told my husband he finally said he forgives me.
I still had/have feelings for this guy and they aren't going away, basically my husband said to do istikarah if im good for his future or not. (i iknow you carry this out if you want advice from allah to do something but I know someone who did it because they werent sure if they were divorced or not and got a very very clear answer) so I thought i would give it a go


(there is no, absolutely NO communication bewteen me and my husband NO intimacy i dont feel like getting imtimate for about a year now this could be due to being with the other man but I have realised that before I was with the other man it was the same) and really I want to do this to find out weather im any good for his future or will i always just seek elsewhere -_-


I did it for a day nothing happen
I did it last night
No dream all night.
My husband woke me up for fajar
this was at 07:00 this morning and i said okay i will get up in a minute
dosed off again for 5 minutes or ten had a dream.. this was my dream.



Basically, I was in the hotel with the other guy and my mum walked in and she was kinda disgusted of all the other people in their own rooms like what their doing and said urgh
She came and sat down. (he had a cigarette on and had a few pulls before i slapped his head saying put that out my mums here and he put it out)

My mum started being all nice and saying aw look at him and started like dropping compliments.

we went to leave and me my mum my dad and him left and we got to the bus stop where he was probably gonna go home or something.

OUT OF NOWHERE MY HUSBANDS FACE POPPED UP SAYING '' LOOK HOW HAPPY MUM IS AND HOW HAPPY YOU ARE YOU SHOULD JUST BE WITH HIM. It wasnt in a happy way or really sad but I know the way he says it is..ina upsetting way but you couldnt tell in the dream that much. he just said it. Then his face was gone.


There was a little shot glass (but we hadnt been drinking alcohol in the dream) my dad threw it behind a lady that was walking past a lady with a big scarf on probably a pakistani lady with a big scarf just messing around like here you go.. The guy just laughed with a open mouth really loud like what my dad did was funny.

Anyway, the guy was at the bustop now and my mum put a light green towel by where you sit waiting for a bus so his shoes dont get muddy and he wouldnt stand on it properly cause he didnt wanna get it dirty and i remember saying aw mum he doesnt even stand on it properlyyy!

That was it

Is this a dream of my own?
Something to do with istikhara?
Do you think it answers something?

i think i will do instikhara tonight again
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Muslim Woman
02-06-2013, 04:04 PM
:wa:


for interpretation of dreams , talk to a Mufti who knows about it . Ordinary people can't explain dreams.

May Allah help u to come out of ur sinful life .

Are u offering Istekhara to take decision about staying with ur hubby ? If u can't stop mixing with the other men , how long will u go on sinning ? So , if u don't have any clear dream , apply logic . Don't live a sinful life . Take a decision , either leave the other man or hubby . Don't keep 2 relations at a same time .
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muslimah1711
02-06-2013, 04:16 PM
Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
:wa:


for interpretation of dreams , talk to a Mufti who knows about it . Ordinary people can't explain dreams.

May Allah help u to come out of ur sinful life .

Are u offering Istekhara to take decision about staying with ur hubby ? If u can't stop mixing with the other men , how long will u go on sinning ? So , if u don't have any clear dream , apply logic . Don't live a sinful life . Take a decision , either leave the other man or hubby . Don't keep 2 relations at a same time .
Basically, what it is, he also wanted me to do istikhara if i am good for his future or not I mean I didnt know this was all going to happen ect but he knows our marriage is not great because of the lack of communication, were like two robots living together -_- the reason why i did istikhara asking '' Is it best for me to stay with my husband or not '' is to get an answer maybe it's not meant to be? maybe this marriage will lead me to keep looking else where where I find someone communicating with me and I end up liking that. I'm a very talktive person, he can sit there all day without talking,laughing anything. To me that makes me depressed like there's nothing in my life.
I am happy with him otherwise but its the biggest point.
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Muslim Woman
02-06-2013, 04:22 PM
:sl:

u have a pious hubby who wakes u up for Fajr salat but u are not happy with him because he does not talk Much ? That's strange sis . People are different types . If he does not cheat on u , if he offers his prayers regularly and encourages u to offer salat , u are one of the luckiest woman in this world.


Try to be grateful to Allah for having such a nice hubby .
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Ali_008
02-06-2013, 09:46 PM
:wasalamex

Uhhh... there is no concrete evidence in any of the authentic sayings of the Prophet :saws: that Istikhara responds with a dream. In fact, not even a single hadeeth even mentions "dreams" and istekhara" at the same time. The idea that istekhara responds with a dream is a misconception. It has been an interpretation of few clerics and scholars here and there who proclaim so. The Ahadeeth don't support any such claims. Regrettably, not much awareness is spread regarding this particular misconception, and many Muslims choose to decide their lives according to their dreams which are as a matter of fact sometimes also presented by shaytaan.


The description of Salaat al-Istikhaarah was reported by Jaabir ibn Abd-Allaah al-Salami (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach his companions to make istikhaarah in all things, just as he used to teach them soorahs from the Qur aan. He said: If any one of you is concerned about a decision he has to make, then let him pray two rak ahs of non-obligatory prayer, then say: Allaahumma inni astakheeruka bi ilmika wa astaqdiruka bi
qudratika wa as aluka min fadlika, fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdir, wa ta lamu wa laa a lam, wa anta allaam al-ghuyoob. Allaahumma fa in kunta ta lamu haadha -amra (then the matter should be mentioned by name) khayran li fi aajil amri wa aajilihi (or: fi deeni wa ma aashi wa aaqibati amri) faqdurhu li wa yassirhu li thumma baarik li fihi. Allaahumma wa in kunta ta lamu annahu sharrun li fi deeni wa ma aashi wa aaqibati amri (or: fi aajili amri wa aajilihi) fasrifni anhu [wasrafhu anni] waqdur li al-khayr haythu kaana thumma radini bihi (O Allaah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of our power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs or: for me both in this world and the next), then turn me away from it, [and turn it away from me], and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make me leased with it.
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6841; similar reports are also
recorded by al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaa i, Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah and Ahmad).

Ibn Hijr (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth:
Istikhaarah is a word which means asking Allaah to help one make a choice, meaning choosing the best of two things where one needs to choose one of them. Concerning the phrase The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach us to make istikhaarah in all things, Ibn Abi Jamrah said: It is a general phrase which refers to something specific. With regard to matters that are waajib (obligatory) or mustahabb (liked or encouraged), there is no need for istikhaarah to decide whether to do them, and with regard to matters that are haraam (forbidden) or makrooh (disliked), there is no need for istikhaarah to decide whether to avoid them. The issue of istikhaarah is confined to matters that are mubaah (allowed), or in mustahabb matters when there is a decision to be made as to which one should be given priority. I say: it refers to both great and small matters, and probably an insignificant issue could form the groundwork for a big issue.

The phrase If any one of you is concerned appears in the version narrated by Ibn Mas ood as: if any one of you wants to do something Let him pray two rak ahs of non-obligatory prayer.

This is mentioned to make it clear that it does not mean fajr prayer, for example.
Al-Nawawi said in al-Adhkaar: He can pray istikaarah after two rak ahs of regular sunnah prayer done at zuhr for example, or after two rak ahs of any naafil prayers whether they are regularly performed or not It seems to be the case that if he made the intention to pray istikhaarah at the same time as intending to pray that particular prayer, this is fine, but not if he did not have this intention. Ibn Abi Jamrah said: The wisdom behind putting the salaat before the du aa is that istikhaarah is intended to combine the goodness of this world with the goodness of the next. A person needs to knock at the door of the King (Allaah), and there is nothing more effective for this than prayer, because it contains glorification and praise of Allaah, and expresses one's need for Him at all times. The phrase then let him say would seem to imply that the du aa should be said after finishing the prayer, and the word thumma (then) probably means after reciting all the words of the salaat and before saying salaam. The phrase O Allaah, I seek Your guidance by virtue of Your knowledge is explaining because You know best. Similarly, by virtue of Your power most likely means seeking Your help. I seek ability (astaqdiruka) means I ask You to give me the power or ability (qudrah) to do whatever is being asked for, or it probably means I ask You to decree (tuqaddir) this for me. So it may mean making it easy. I ask You of Your great bounty refers to the fact that Allaah gives out of His great generosity, but no one has the right to His blessings. This is the opinion of Ahl al-Sunnah. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not refers to the fact that power and knowledge belong to Allaah alone, and the slave has no share of them except what Allaah decrees for him. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge this matter

According to one report, he should mention it by name. It is apparent from the context that he should state it, but it is probably sufficient to be thinking of the matter whilst making this du aa. Then ordain it for me means make it happen for me or it may mean make it easy for me. Then turn it away from me, and turn me way from it means so that my heart will no longer feel attached to it after it has been turned away. Make me pleased with it means make me content with it, so that I will never regret asking for it or be sorry that it happened, because I do not know how it will turn out, even if at the time of asking I am pleased with it. The secret is that one s heart should not be attached to the matter in question, because that will result in a person becoming restless. Being pleased with something means that one s heart is content with the decree of Allaah.
(Summarized from the commentary of al-Haafiz Ibn Hijr (may
Allaah have mercy on him) on the hadeeth in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab
al-Da waat and Kitaab al-Tawheed.).

Source
Isteqara is an application for guidance from Allah in a particular matter. Once you do isteqara, you should move in the direction in which your heart is inclining; if there is good in it for you, automatically Allah paves the way with ease, and you see it for yourself that what you chose is right for you. On the other hand, if the path you choose starts looking more difficult, and instead of things becoming better, they go worse; it is an indication that there will be tribulation for you if you go with it. So far in my life, I have even seen change of hearts as an effect of offering Isteqara.

And Allah knows best
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