Society Paying For Me Haram?

[Iceee]

Salaam.
This really bothers me. I have some money (not too much, not too little) and I like to save money instead of spending it. Always have, always will. But am I stealing money in these situations? Would this be haram?

Example 1: A couple of my friends were talking about going to the movies tonight (Friday night). They asked whether I wanted to come, I said, "No thanks, I have no money" and laughed. After school one of the two friends calls me and asked whether I wanted to go watch a movie at a nearby theatre. I said I had no money again, and he said he would pay for me since his other friend didn't come.

Example 2: I was running to the masjid last week (I like to jogg since I don't have a car as of yet). A Muslim Brother asked me why I was running and we started talking. After prayers he asked whether we could sit-down at a coffee store and talk about Iman and Deen. I said I didn't have money. He said he would pay. He did pay for a chocholate milk carton and cookies for me and I listened to him talk.

Example 3: Elderly woman pays for lunch for me.


Example 4: After we won hockey championships last year Alhumdulillah, we were planning on having a pizza party that evening. I didn't have any money so I decided not to go. The Captain of my team called me, told me to come and he would pay for my pizza and drink.

Example 5: As some of you know, I own my own hockey league with a Muslim friend. We also coach a team there as well as ref and manage everything. My team won PIBHL Cup 2 years ago Alhumdulillah, the team wanted a party but I said that it would cost a lot of money. The team comprised of 8-12 year olds called me to a local Subway and they said they would pay for all the foods I eat. I think they used their parents money.

[Indian Bro]

As-salamu alaykum brother,

In my opinion, Allah (s.w.t.) judges people by their hearts. You shouldn't be too conservative with how you spend neither should you spend lavishly on unnecessary things. Spend moderately. It's alright to save money, that's a really good trait to have, but like I said, you should spend moderately (taking into consideration that you don't have too much or too little money). At the end of the day, it's your intentions that matter. And I would advise you not to depend on other peoples money much because they might hold it up against you later. And you should strive to pay these people back as soon as you are able to. Allah (s.w.t.) knows whats in your heart, so if you don't think your "using" these people, I don't think your stealing from them. InshAllah, you should pay these people back as soon as you are able to.

And Allah (s.w.t.) knows best.

Salam 3laikum

[Iceee]

Salaam.
Firstly, Ja'Zakullah for allowing me to start this thread.

As-salamu alaykum brother,

In my opinion, Allah (s.w.t.) judges people by their hearts. You shouldn't be too conservative with how you spend neither should you spend lavishly on unnecessary things. Spend moderately. It's alright to save money, that's a really good trait to have, but like I said, you should spend moderately (taking into consideration that you don't have too much or too little money). At the end of the day, it's your intentions that matter. And I would advise you not to depend on other peoples money much because they might hold it up against you later. And you should strive to pay these people back as soon as you are able to. Allah (s.w.t.) knows whats in your heart, so if you don't think your "using" these people, I don't think your stealing from them. InshAllah, you should pay these people back as soon as you are able to.

And Allah (s.w.t.) knows best.

Salam 3laikum

Salaam.
I like to save money, really not a big spender and neither is my family.
If people pay for me, I don't have to pay them back right? So how will they "hold it up against you later."???

[Karl]

Salaam.
Firstly, Ja'Zakullah for allowing me to start this thread.



Salaam.
I like to save money, really not a big spender and neither is my family.
If people pay for me, I don't have to pay them back right? So how will they "hold it up against you later."???

Salaam
If you just take and never give back you will lose your friends. You will be considered a tight wad or Scrooge. People expect a return when they give even when they don't say so. Unless they are very rich.

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[Tyrion]

Haram? Probably not. But you're probably being a cheapskate, which isn't a good thing. People may start to feel as if you're using them, and you could start to be disliked.

[May Ayob]

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but unless you have a plausible reason like severe disability or you live in poverty then you shouldn't allow your self to take free money from people. This is for two reasons the first concerns your own dignity and self respect when you ask people or always accept their money without refusing; they lose respect for you even if they didn't show it and may keep confronting you and sometimes maybe even taunt you for it some people are very clingy -I'm not sure if thats the word or if its stingy?- and so they get very bothered when someone takes their money I'm not saying that any of those people who've offered you money are like that but hopefully you get my point and Islam encourages modesty or maintaing dignity so not taking money from people epeciallywhen you can earn it is much better. The second reason is that it actually affects your relationship with those people many times and not in a very positive way. Your previous posts suggest that you're still a young teenager if you accustom yourself on relying on other peoples favors you'll be very dependant on them and that wont motivate you to make any progress in your over all life. Howabout taking up a job from which you can earn your own money and spend it on yourself-please dont forget to give a share to your local charities- may God make it easy for your.

P.S- A thing I think I forgot to mention, maybe the people who offer you the money are infact very kind and generous people, but I have noticed a pattern here where in they offer to pay after you state that you have no money, I think some of them feel obliged to pay for you because they feel bad or something? If it's like that it's still not any good atleast on your side because because it's still kind of like pity. You honestly don't need that it's uncalled for please unless it's an open invitation but if it's exclusively for you because the person feels that they are obliged to do it then please don't accept it.

Just to clarify. Bro Iceee did not take other people money, but some people around him bought him something. It's not different than I invite Iceee to eat in Pizza Hut with me then I pay the bill.

Brother Adrianto, thank you for clarifying, but in this case you would usually accept the invitation because it was initially madefrom the other side, you didn't say something like you can't go because you have to save money or you don't have money that triggered them offering to pay for you. There's a big difference between the two situations and I think one can tell which one from the other. Again , I apologize I didn't mean to be harsh or offend anyone, but I think as a sister that brother Iceee should be a little reluctant to freuqently accepting money from people or them paying for him, because some still think you would owe it to them and such...

[ardianto]

Just to clarify. Bro Iceee did not take other people money, but some people around him bought him something. It's not different than I invite Iceee to eat in Pizza Hut with me then I pay the bill.

[Tyrion]

Just to clarify. Bro Iceee did not take other people money, but some people around him bought him something. It's not different than I invite Iceee to eat in Pizza Hut with me then I pay the bill.

He has indicated that he will only do things if other people pay for him. This is a problem, since it sounds like he's taking advantage of other people's generosity as well as possibly being stingy/cheap.

[Ali_008]

Just stop lying.

[Alpha Dude]

Not stealing.

I don't know if stinginess is haram (maybe someone can clarify) but I'm pretty sure it's very very frowned upon in Islam and also lying is haram.

[syed_z]

Asalaam O Alaikum...

I just want to share some verses of Quran which might help brother iceee ponder

(2:268) Satan threatens you with poverty and bids you to commit indecency whereas Allah (swt) promises you His forgiveness and bounty. Allah (swt) is Munificent, All Knowing.


So the poverty that you fear you might be falling in to and in to which you have not fallen yet, is a threat from Satan, and it is that which causes stinginess in many of us.

Sayyidina Abu Huraira (RA) reported from the Prophet (SAW) that he said, ‘Give presents to each other for, a gift removes ill-will from the heart."

One accepts gifts which is very good as it makes the receiver and the giver happy. Then the former should also gift something (depending upon their capacity) which would make the latter please and this would cause harmony among both. Actually it is not the gift but the thought about gifting that pleases one another and shows care for each other.

(17:29) And let not your hand be tied (like a miser) to your neck, nor stretch it forth to its utmost reach (like a spendthrift), so that you become blameworthy and in severe poverty.


Also we should be the 1st ones to spend on younger ones if we are elders, this also maintains the respect and honor they have for us and this shows our love for the young.

The Prophet (saw) said “He is not one of us who is not compassionate to our young (children) and respectful to our old.”


A very important Hadith which would help us lessen our worries about money and provision.

Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said, “He who wakes up in the morning peaceful among his people, healthy in body, his provision for the day with him, then it is as though them world is brought together for him.”

[cottonrainbow]

Salaam!

I don't think it's haram, but you look like a cheapskate or moocher and people don't like to be around cheapskates and moochers. I'm Not saying spend all of your money, but spend modestly. Sometimes spending a little money is part of fostering relations.

[Iceee]

Salaam
If you just take and never give back you will lose your friends. You will be considered a tight wad or Scrooge. People expect a return when they give even when they don't say so. Unless they are very rich.

Salaam.

I have many friends, I don't expect them to pay for me. But I'm not a spender like mentioned, I eat home-made food which my Mom makes most of the time. If friends want to go to a store to eat, I'm not going to pay. Why should I feel obligated to pay for my own food? If friends pay for me, I'll say thanks.

[Iceee]

P.S- A thing I think I forgot to mention, maybe the people who offer you the money are infact very kind and generous people, but I have noticed a pattern here where in they offer to pay after you state that you have no money, I think some of them feel obliged to pay for you because they feel bad or something? If it's like that it's still not any good atleast on your side because because it's still kind of like pity. You honestly don't need that it's uncalled for please unless it's an open invitation but if it's exclusively for you because the person feels that they are obliged to do it then please don't accept it.

Salaam.

I'm not forcing anyone to pay. If a friend doesn't want to pay for me, I'm not going to force them to pay for me. But I don't feel the need of spending money when uncalled for.

Read Example 4.

[Iceee]

Just to clarify. Bro Iceee did not take other people money, but some people around him bought him something. It's not different than I invite Iceee to eat in Pizza Hut with me then I pay the bill.

Do you consider it haram if I don't pay? You can choose to pay for me right?

[Muhaba]

Salaam.
This really bothers me. I have some money (not too much, not too little) and I like to save money instead of spending it. Always have, always will. But am I stealing money in these situations? Would this be haram?

Example 1: A couple of my friends were talking about going to the movies tonight (Friday night). They asked whether I wanted to come, I said, "No thanks, I have no money" and laughed. After school one of the two friends calls me and asked whether I wanted to go watch a movie at a nearby theatre. I said I had no money again, and he said he would pay for me since his other friend didn't come.

Example 2: I was running to the masjid last week (I like to jogg since I don't have a car as of yet). A Muslim Brother asked me why I was running and we started talking. After prayers he asked whether we could sit-down at a coffee store and talk about Iman and Deen. I said I didn't have money. He said he would pay. He did pay for a chocholate milk carton and cookies for me and I listened to him talk.

Example 3: Elderly woman pays for lunch for me.


Example 4: After we won hockey championships last year Alhumdulillah, we were planning on having a pizza party that evening. I didn't have any money so I decided not to go. The Captain of my team called me, told me to come and he would pay for my pizza and drink.

Example 5: As some of you know, I own my own hockey league with a Muslim friend. We also coach a team there as well as ref and manage everything. My team won PIBHL Cup 2 years ago Alhumdulillah, the team wanted a party but I said that it would cost a lot of money. The team comprised of 8-12 year olds called me to a local Subway and they said they would pay for all the foods I eat. I think they used their parents money.

You shouldn't be telling people you have no money when you do. don't show yourself as poor when Allah has blessed you with money, even if it's little. You should also not take from others as Allah tells us that we shouldn't wrongly take other people's money. Why are you making other pay when you have money? Is that charity and charity is the right of the neediest people.

Now you can say that you wouldn't want to waste your money on this item or that and then if someone else insists that they willpay, then it won't be a problem. But don't take advantage of others' benevolence wrngfully. Showing yourself to be needy when its not true is also wrong.
If you're doing your friend by accompanying him and he offers to pay for you then it's alright but not if he's doing it because you're showing yourself to be needy! (Also, watching movies is haram for many reasons: 1-it's a waste of time. 2- men see non-mahram women on screen and women see nonmahram men. 3-it has music which is haram. 4-it's a waste of money. That money could've been spent on a poor person's meal.)

In the case of some children paying for the meal in celebration, it's okay but not if you're asking for charity. (It may be their parents' money but the parents gave it to them to spend and have a good time. nothing wrong with them celebrating with their coach.)

IMO your character needs improvement because you're asking for charity when you don't deserve it. It's not right to have sucha personality. You need to pay for whatever you get and if you don't want to spend your money, don't make others spend theirs. Remember, you aren't a believer unless you want for others what you want for yourself. And if you want to save your own money, then why do you want others to spend theirs???

[M.I.A.]

i think if people enjoy your company then you are lucky.
if you are in a position to help those that have helped you then you should.

i mean everybody wants to save for the future, otherwise you will be dependant on handouts forever.

finding a balance is key and understanding other peoples needs will help you grow as a person.

personally i am very bad with money, i have never saved for the things i want.


but i am aware there is no such thing as a free lunch.

[May Ayob]

I'm not forcing anyone to pay. If a friend doesn't want to pay for me, I'm not going to force them to pay for me. But I don't feel the need of spending money when uncalled for.

I'm sorry if I misunderstood you but what I grasped from the examples you've provided I assumed there was some kind of pressuring going on. But , brother I want whats good for you if you trust me, you can't do this to yourself you'll be the most one at harm believe me. Maybe those people also feel that their own money is too good for spending on 'useless' things, so it's not fair that you allow them to spend on you like that. And someday you're going to have to spend that money anyway, stinginess is not a trait of a muslim; wealth is from God; He is the one that provides. I apologize if I came across as critical and stern because I didn't intend to, I'm ust trying to show the consequences related to this kind of action.

[Tyrion]

If friends want to go to a store to eat, I'm not going to pay. Why should I feel obligated to pay for my own food? If friends pay for me, I'll say thanks.

Then don't end up going all the time when they invite you. Or pay them back at some point. Or don't eat. Or just pay for yourself, like a normal person. You're just mooching off of them since you're too cheap to spend your own money.

Also, did you really just ask why you should be expected to pay for your own food?

[Iceee]

Salaam.

You should also not take from others as Allah tells us that we shouldn't wrongly take other people's money. Why are you making other pay when you have money?

If people want to pay for me, why would I say no? Them paying for me is a gift from Allah Subhanahuwatallah to me.

[Iceee]

personally i am very bad with money, i have never saved for the things i want.


but i am aware there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Salaam.

Free lunch is given a lot of times to me. I accept it sometimes.

Saving money was easy for me because all the Eid money saved for me and my brothers, went directly to our parents who put it in a bank account. When I saw the saved money when I turned 18, I was so excited to save more and more and get enough for a car!

Plan something to save a lot of money for. I'm working for a car Inshallah, find something you like.

[Iceee]

Then don't end up going all the time when they invite you. Or pay them back at some point. Or don't eat. Or just pay for yourself, like a normal person.

Salaam.

I go sometimes. I love free things, I believe they are what Allah Subhanahuwatallah has given me. A lot of Muslim brothers including yourself must have been given gifts (Eid) and food from friends. It's a reward brother.

You're just mooching off of them since you're too cheap to spend your own money.

I'm just saving some money, I pay when I have to. For example, I like to bring home hot chocolate for my family after work. My Mom appreciates the fact and so do my brothers alhumdulillah.

[syed_z]

Salaam.

I go sometimes. I love free things, I believe they are what Allah Subhanahuwatallah has given me. A lot of Muslim brothers including yourself must have been given gifts (Eid) and food from friends. It's a reward brother.

ummmm.....


Brother Iceee you created a thread and asked us about your saving money habit, which according to Islam many of us here have mentioned and even shared with you some Verses of Quran and Hadith in support of the view that this shows you as a stingy person.....

......now your free to believe what ever you believe and there are no arguments with you unless you are able to prove from Islamic point of view that what your doing is completely Halaal, is encouraged By Allah (swt) to do so, and what most of us have said is Haraam.

Since your not doing that then I suggest to all others here as well not to argue and make this thread as long as 6 or 7 pages with no one getting anywhere.

Do not Argue please let the brother believe what he wants to believe, we can only tell and not force!

[Muhaba]

Salaam.



If people want to pay for me, why would I say no? Them paying for me is a gift from Allah Subhanahuwatallah to me.

This is the kind of attittude of a certain ppl from a certain area that is very shameful!!!

I know a family who is verr rich - they are multinational business owners. yet they encourage their children to take welfare from western government although they don't deserve it. their children show themselves to be poor and get money from the govt. Such behavior is not only wrong and unislamic but also will be a blame on the Muslim Ummah since they are muslims by name. Brother, read the Holy Quran with cmmentary to know just what Allah says in this regard. In several verses we are told not to take another person's wealth except through lawful business. So the only money you are allowed to get is what you earn and profit you make out of business. other than that, you may get gifts but gifts can't be taken forever and you have to repay the gift-giver.

You have to not only thinkabout your savings but also your friends' savings. why waste their money? If you want to go to dinner with them, then pay your share. Once in a while you may let someone else pay for you but don't make it a habit. Are you selling your friendship or company?

Also just think what these people will say about you in the long run. And what will be your response to Allah if He asks you about your behavior.

[Tyrion]

I go sometimes. I love free things, I believe they are what Allah Subhanahuwatallah has given me. A lot of Muslim brothers including yourself must have been given gifts (Eid) and food from friends. It's a reward brother.

I'm just saving some money, I pay when I have to. For example, I like to bring home hot chocolate for my family after work. My Mom appreciates the fact and so do my brothers alhumdulillah.

Why are you asking us then? The overwhelming response has been that you're being incredibly cheap and stingy, and that it's a horrible quality to have in a person. You can continue to be that way, but don't make excuses when you're the one who's come here for advice.

[M.I.A.]

Salaam.



If people want to pay for me, why would I say no? Them paying for me is a gift from Allah Subhanahuwatallah to me.

i find that very hard to disagree with.


but even if your friends and even people you do not know, offer to pay for you then you should at least work towards keeping them happy.

maybe you are just a great person to be around.


there was a vid on the forum not too long ago,

a shiek was giving a very humourous interpretation of heaven.

where a person is lead from room to room.

each one better than the last.


maybe you are of those lucky enough to actually have a glimpse of that already.

Salaam.

Free lunch is given a lot of times to me. I accept it sometimes.

Saving money was easy for me because all the Eid money saved for me and my brothers, went directly to our parents who put it in a bank account. When I saw the saved money when I turned 18, I was so excited to save more and more and get enough for a car!

Plan something to save a lot of money for. I'm working for a car Inshallah, find something you like.

yeah i like my cars.

unfortunately im not very good at saving up.

and even if i was it would take me years at present... years and years.

so i gave up on the car.

count your blessings really, i went from thinking i was going to get £25 an hour to jobless.


so yeah, i cant really argue with what you said.

you seem young and the world is what you make it.


maybe your friends would not be happy always paying for you but if they dont tell you then there is nothing you can do about it, and if they back bite about it..
then its there sin not yours.

funny how that works.

[GuestFellow]

Salaam.
This really bothers me. I have some money (not too much, not too little) and I like to save money instead of spending it. Always have, always will. But am I stealing money in these situations? Would this be haram?

Example 1: A couple of my friends were talking about going to the movies tonight (Friday night). They asked whether I wanted to come, I said, "No thanks, I have no money" and laughed. After school one of the two friends calls me and asked whether I wanted to go watch a movie at a nearby theatre. I said I had no money again, and he said he would pay for me since his other friend didn't come.

Example 2: I was running to the masjid last week (I like to jogg since I don't have a car as of yet). A Muslim Brother asked me why I was running and we started talking. After prayers he asked whether we could sit-down at a coffee store and talk about Iman and Deen. I said I didn't have money. He said he would pay. He did pay for a chocholate milk carton and cookies for me and I listened to him talk.

Example 3: Elderly woman pays for lunch for me.


Example 4: After we won hockey championships last year Alhumdulillah, we were planning on having a pizza party that evening. I didn't have any money so I decided not to go. The Captain of my team called me, told me to come and he would pay for my pizza and drink.

Example 5: As some of you know, I own my own hockey league with a Muslim friend. We also coach a team there as well as ref and manage everything. My team won PIBHL Cup 2 years ago Alhumdulillah, the team wanted a party but I said that it would cost a lot of money. The team comprised of 8-12 year olds called me to a local Subway and they said they would pay for all the foods I eat. I think they used their parents money.

Salaam,

All I can say is...your an accountant in the making.

I see no problem if people are paying for you to hang around with them. You sound like a popular guy. I wish people gave me money and fed me all day...wait that sounds so wrong LOOLOLOLOL.

[GuestFellow]

Why are you asking us then? The overwhelming response has been that you're being incredibly cheap and stingy, and that it's a horrible quality to have in a person. You can continue to be that way, but don't make excuses when you're the one who's come here for advice.

:wa:

I would pay him £1000 to have dinner with me. He sounds like a good guy to talk to. He could probably help me to get married as well. The possibilities are endless....ah :/

[Iceee]

Salaam.

but even if your friends and even people you do not know, offer to pay for you then you should at least work towards keeping them happy.

I shall try my best inshallah.

count your blessings really, i went from thinking i was going to get £25 an hour to jobless.

Inshallah you find a job.
I applied last Summer (June/July) and got called up for an interview a couple of weeks ago!
Alhumdulillah I got the job. It's at McDonalds, you never know where you can hired so apply and pray for all locations. Low pay but getting closer to my own car!

[GuestFellow]

Meh I don't see what's the big deal. People want to spend money on him (he's so lucky, sounds like a celebrity). They are doing so because they want to. That does not mean he has to return the favour. If they spend money on him in order for him to return the favour, then I question those charitable acts.

[Iceee]

Meh I don't see what's the big deal. People want to spend money on him (he's so lucky, sounds like a celebrity). They are doing so because they want to. That does not mean he has to return the favour. If they spend money on him in order for him to return the favour, then I question those charitable acts.

Salaam.

I've got to go to work in a bit so I'll do quick reply.

Your answer brother GuestFellow is what I am thinking. If people want to pay for other people, it is like a charitable thing right?

Ja'Zakullah for everyone's answer. I now know that I shouldn't be saying that "I am poor" and stuff. Alhumdulillah. I won't ever do it again.

If friends and strangers want to pay for me, I'll accept it as a gift from Allah Subhanahuwatallah and you should as well. We are all special human beings and God gifts us all in terms of things like this.

Please don't call any brother or sister cheap. I'm not perfect, neither are you. I don't put a gun to peoples faces. Friends and strangers are giving consent and it's their own free will to pay for me. When they do pay, I say thank you. When they don't I don't treat them any differently. If I don't have any money on me or am not willing to pay, I'm not going to force them to pay (I never did).

Again, Ja'Zakullah for everyone's answer. Please close thread.

[Insaanah]

Again, Ja'Zakullah for everyone's answer. Please close thread.

Ok. In closing, it's worth pondering over a couple of hadeeth:

Narrated `Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her):

Allah's Messenger :saws: used to accept gifts and used to give something in return.

Sahih al-Bukhari 2585
http://www.sunnah.com/bukhari/51#19

The hadeeth is under the heading of "Compensation for a gift".

Please note, that he :saws: didn't just used to take, but as many times as he received, he gave in return.

Also consider:

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet :saws: said: "None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." (Sahih) ...

Jaami' at Tirmidhi
English reference : Vol. 4, Book 11, Hadith 2515
Arabic reference : Book 37, Hadith 2705
http://www.sunnah.com/urn/678210

If you like that they pay for you, then you should like that you pay for them also.

And Allah knows best.

As requested, thread closed.