Media and Suicide.

[Iceee]

Salaam to all my dear brothers and sisters.
Please read the following if you can, whether you are of the Islamic faith or not.

I went to school today after a four day holiday (Friday was P.A Day and Yesterday was Family Day). So I go and everything is going to plan like it normally does. But during period two, around 11:30am, the Principal of our school comes on the announcement and tells all the staff and students in our school that a student (girl) has committed suicide. (inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon)

I am telling you this my dear respected community because last week, another girl committed suicide as well in our school. The question is why did this happen and why am I telling you this?

Both girls (God forgive them for their sins) were in their opinion "Over-weight." They felt left out from society and friends because of their weight on and off school. These two girls were just 2 out of many who go to the girl's bathroom during lunch after eating at McDonalds or Popeyes, and they would go to the washroom to empty themselves out before heading back out to class. Almost all girls seem to be doing this at our school and the smell of vomit engulfs the place coming from the washroom.

The families are shocked. I'm shocked. The only people who don't have a care is the media. Suicides are not posted on the news and only we know who died. These girls in my honest opinion killed themselves because they couldn't lose the weight they had and lost friends in the process. I'm a Muslim, I don't look at girls but that is also what caused their death. The girls that died had nobody who would look at them and no boyfriends and such because of their weight. If maybe I had said a simple hello to these girls everyday, maybe it would have been different.

In conclusion, please don't do this to yourselves. Don't let media tell you how to look and dress and who to date and who to marry. Even I got so caught up, I wanted to be a strong male figure like the wrestlers I saw on television (John Cena, The Rock etc.) I started going to the Gym when I was 14 years old to when I was 16 years old building muscle. I forgot all about religion and school.

Alhumdulillah after getting myself a part-time job at McDonalds this year, I am keeping myself busy and have no time to worry about looks and such. I started praying five times a day alhumdulillah. I started to get my marks up for University next year as well. Inshallah this continues. I would stay for bhayaans after namaaz and didn't plan on going to the Gym. I run outside on the sidewalk, do pushups at home, and exercise myself without having to go to the Gym. Looks aren't important to me, because I'm already the cutest boy so I can't make myself cuter can I :)

Please don't fall to the media. Keep yourself looking cute, cool, gangster, beautiful and continue following religion; whatever it may be. Don't give up on life. Don't wish to be taller or weigh less and such. Be happy of the body God gave you.

[May Ayob]

:sl: Icee :)

It's very good that you pointed at this issue. One thing I realized though about suicide is people commit it for many varying reasons, I see from your personal real life stories thatyou have witnessed that the girls (may they rest in peace) had self-esteem issues centered on their weight. It's very very very rare where I live in for a girl to commit suicide because of her weight or how she feels about it one of the reasons is because people here actually think it's a healthy thing and find it attractive, as starnge as it may seem to some people out there reading this but it's entirely true and so most women here actually don't feel any pressure on their weight that's not to say that women who are slimmer are at loss but to be honest not many people here care about how much you weigh as much as who you are and other things as well. But I can understand because anyone would naturally feel pressured into matching up to the media's portrayal of what is desired or apealing. I think the reasons for people commiting suicide are different due to different factors but whatever the reason is it's still a very sad thing to have happened. Suicide is a sensitive issue some people immediately assign the person commiting to hell fire and say they have no sympathy for them because others may have had it worse but they still endure or some people even think it's cowardice; despite all this they were still humanbeings and they're not with us anymore we should still respect the souls of people who've passe away and we should also spare the judgement of their fate to God. I personally don't hate people who commit suicie I don't agree with it but still that's not a reason for me to hate them; why shoul I judged someone without having walked in their shoes?.

The girls that died had nobody who would look at them and no boyfriends and such because of their weight. If maybe I had said a simple hello to these girls everyday, maybe it would have been different.

That's really sad but it's not very hard to imagine; I remeber when I was a junior in high school in Canada. I was sitting on a bench waiting for my sister , and two seniors were standing next to me ( a girl and boy) I still couldn't forget the conversation they had infront of me and how cold it was; well the girl started out by saying " Oh (his name) did you know your friend ( I think she even said best friend but I can't recall) committed suicide last week?''. He responded " Oh yeah, I heard he had depression issues or something" shrugging of his shoulders with an almost indifferent facial expression. He then continues shortly after " Hey would you like to eat shwarma? there's a really good resturant around the corner'' an then she asks him what a shawarma is and from there on the conversation shifts into that subject. I mean for heaven's sake I'm not trying to be judgemental but if someone told me about a friends suicide I don't think I would respond in this way, I couln't even believe this conversation took place right before my eyes so when my sister came I din't hesistate to tell her everything I heard with my head shaking in disbelief 'is that what your friends do to you when you die?!' she told me that people have different ways of greiving some don't want to show that they're hurt inside and so they try to brush it off or ignore it. But then some people really don't care whether you live or die even if they are close to you or seem to be that's why it's important not let them shape your self-esteem and self-worth. But despite all this I still believe that every soul has another to grieve it's loss. Thank you for your kind last words and May Allah help everyone in need.

[Abu Loren]

Please don't fall to the media. Keep yourself looking cute, cool, gangster, beautiful and continue following religion; whatever it may be. Don't give up on life. Don't wish to be taller or weigh less and such. Be happy of the body God gave you.

Wa Alaikkum As'alaam

Good advise bro. People all over the world are brain washed into thinking that living and looking a certain way is the only way. They lose their self respect and the try very hard to 'look cool' to their peers. I know it's easy to say but being close to God and praying etc will help to bring your self esteem back and you will look at the world and life in a different and positive way. Sad thing to say but a lot of Muslim guys and gals who are especially living in the West are going this way by following the ways of the kufr. Sad but true.

[Iceee]

Salaam.

Suicide is a sensitive issue some people immediately assign the person commiting to hell fire and say they have no sympathy for them because others may have had it worse but they still endure or some people even think it's cowardice;

We all must look at suicidal victims and learn from their mistakes inshallah.

I remeber when I was a junior in high school in Canada. I was sitting on a bench waiting for my sister , and two seniors were standing next to me ( a girl and boy) I still couldn't forget the conversation they had infront of me and how cold it was; well the girl started out by saying " Oh (his name) did you know your friend ( I think she even said best friend but I can't recall) committed suicide last week?''. He responded " Oh yeah, I heard he had depression issues or something" shrugging of his shoulders with an almost indifferent facial expression. He then continues shortly after " Hey would you like to eat shwarma? there's a really good resturant around the corner'' an then she asks him what a shawarma is and from there on the conversation shifts into that subject.

I asked my friends about the suicide of the girls today at school. They said that it is sad but that is all they say. I think it is because the majority of us are afraid of death and we don't want to talk about it. Remember, my friends and I are in high school so death seems a long way away. Nobody wants to worry about it happening in the next minute or when you finish reading this.

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[May Ayob]

I... didn't mean anything offensive, but thank you. You know I've been to high school too. I would understand though the popular notion of being too young to die and having so much to live for but death is age blind death is also color, occupation, health, gender and many other blind as well this is why life should never be taken for granted, every moment of it is precious and valuable no matter how mundane it may seem.

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Iceee;

Sadly suicide is fairly common, I visit a school where a girl had committed suicide, lots of flowers had been laid in the playground and many children had written wonderful things about the girl who had died. It left me thinking were all these compliments said to the girl whilst she was still alive, did she know that so many people cared about her?

I contacted the head teacher about this and asked do we really say nice things about the people we know, or do all these things go unsaid, I suggested a way to try and put this right after these tragic circumstances.

Suppose there are 20 children in a class, the teacher takes a piece of paper and writes down the names of everyone in the class, including the teacher too. Leave a space under each name and give a copy to everyone in the class, each person must then write something good and positive about each of the people on that list.

The teacher then writes the name of a person on a paper, and writes down 20 positive comments from all their classmates and hands the paper to that person. The teacher then does the same for everyone in the class. It is a way of making each person feel special and wanted.

In the spirit of praying for the poor in spirit.

Eric

[Iceee]

Suppose there are 20 children in a class, the teacher takes a piece of paper and writes down the names of everyone in the class, including the teacher too. Leave a space under each name and give a copy to everyone in the class, each person must then write something good and positive about each of the people on that list.

The teacher then writes the name of a person on a paper, and writes down 20 positive comments from all their classmates and hands the paper to that person. The teacher then does the same for everyone in the class. It is a way of making each person feel special and wanted.

Salaam.

Wonderful and Beautiful Idea. Recommended for grades 6-8 classes for sure!

[ardianto]

Greetings and peace be with you Iceee;

Sadly suicide is fairly common, I visit a school where a girl had committed suicide, lots of flowers had been laid in the playground and many children had written wonderful things about the girl who had died. It left me thinking were all these compliments said to the girl whilst she was still alive, did she know that so many people cared about her?

I contacted the head teacher about this and asked do we really say nice things about the people we know, or do all these things go unsaid, I suggested a way to try and put this right after these tragic circumstances.

Suppose there are 20 children in a class, the teacher takes a piece of paper and writes down the names of everyone in the class, including the teacher too. Leave a space under each name and give a copy to everyone in the class, each person must then write something good and positive about each of the people on that list.

The teacher then writes the name of a person on a paper, and writes down 20 positive comments from all their classmates and hands the paper to that person. The teacher then does the same for everyone in the class. It is a way of making each person feel special and wanted.

In the spirit of praying for the poor in spirit.

Eric

Greetings and peace be with you Eric.

I read your post in the morning, and I imagined if I were still in school, and the teacher spread that paper in the classroom. I could imagine what my classmates would write about me. They would start with how fool I am before they write the positive thing that they have seen in me. I knew it because I know the people around me.

I laugh when I imagined what they would write about me, and then my memory was flying to many things that I have experienced in my life. Suddenly I felt an amazing feeling in my heart that made my eyes were getting wet. I'm not lying, my eyes were getting wet because I felt an amazing happiness in my heart, I realize that in my life that almost a half of century, I always have those who care on me, those who love me.

It's make me happy.

There are always those who care on us, there are always those who love us. But unfortunately, not everyone can feel it. There are people who feel that they are alone and no one care on them. It makes them feel that their existence in the world is meaningless. It's make them feel, it's better they go, leave everyone and everything in the world.

But I don't blame the youth who decided to go. They were to young to understand that there were people who still care on them. Also I don't want to blame people around them who did not realize the situation when those youth need their special attention.

It's better if we take a lesson from it.

[Ramadan90]

It's irresponsible to allow people to catapult themselves into the news by killing themselves. If newspapers ran front page stories each time a suicide occurred, many journalists believe those news outlets would essentially be encouraging the act. They want to prevent copycat suicides.

[Iceee]

There are always those who care on us, there are always those who love us. But unfortunately, not everyone can feel it. There are people who feel that they are alone and no one care on them. It makes them feel that their existence in the world is meaningless. It's make them feel, it's better they go, leave everyone and everything in the world.

Salaam.

I feel as though it is good to join a forum where you can talk to people and get their opinions and how they really are. If you feel depressed, there are people here that can talk to you... including me. Just Private Message :)

It's irresponsible to allow people to catapult themselves into the news by killing themselves. If newspapers ran front page stories each time a suicide occurred, many journalists believe those news outlets would essentially be encouraging the act. They want to prevent copycat suicides.

Agreed.

This is why in my opinion, I believe mass killings in the United States keep happening. Just look at Bath School Disaster, Virginia Tech Massacre, Sandy Hook, Columbine. The amount of media coverage is huge for these shootings and I live in Canada and the news was filled with U.S school shootings... Guess what others would want to do.

[May Ayob]

Do you think that maybe the people responsible for those shootings weren't trying to immitate another example?. They were very tragic events but I think they felt isolsted and excluded college isn't very east, not as hard as highschool but still. I think more and morepeople are becoming depressed they feel there's always something missing in their life a part they can't seem to find. Emptiness or having no meaning to be honest I sometimes find this world very surreal and wonderif I'm really living an illusion.

['Abd-al Latif]

I'm a Muslim, I don't look at girls but that is also what caused their death. The girls that died had nobody who would look at them and no boyfriends and such because of their weight. If maybe I had said a simple hello to these girls everyday, maybe it would have been different.

To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return. My heart goes out to these girls and their families, it's most painful for the parents who outlive their children.

I sympathise with you and how you must presently feel a sense of guilt and grief over their unfortunate deaths, both occurring only within the space of a few days. But let not shaytan make you think that you could have brought some good by acting contrary to commands of Allah. All good is in His hands, who gives life and takes it away, and you will not find benefit anywhere except with Him.

Pray instead that Allah saves other people at your school from taking their lives, guides them to the right path and brings relief and comfort to you and to them. But do not wish that you could disobey Allah because your obedience to Allah did not bring about something bad. This you must believe in.

[Qurratul Ayn]

:salamext:

That is truly sad to hear about the suicides, Brother Iceee especially in the school that you attend.

Both girls (God forgive them for their sins) were in their opinion "Over-weight." They felt left out from society and friends because of their weight on and off school. These two girls were just 2 out of many who go to the girl's bathroom during lunch after eating at McDonalds or Popeyes, and they would go to the washroom to empty themselves out before heading back out to class. Almost all girls seem to be doing this at our school and the smell of vomit engulfs the place coming from the washroom.

I am telling you this my dear respected community because last week, another girl committed suicide as well in our school.

Whoa. Media could be one of the reasons to blame for their deaths. The amount of ridiculous and pathetic rubbish they promote that becomes part of vulnerable lives out there. It gets to me when women with flawless complexions (apparently) and disgustingly stick-thin bodies are portrayed everywhere, the effect on people, young or old, is visible. Too clearly in some cases. Actually, in most cases

Anyways, is your school doing anything about these incidents? Will they or are they considering how to approach the students about matters like these? Any measures being taken to ensure nothing like this happens again? Apart from the two unfortunate deaths, has anything like this happend before?

Please don't mind my asking, but I'm curious as to what the school would do now in light of these unfortunate deaths.

These two girls were just 2 out of many who go to the girl's bathroom during lunch after eating at McDonalds or Popeyes, and they would go to the washroom to empty themselves out before heading back out to class. Almost all girls seem to be doing this at our school and the smell of vomit engulfs the place coming from the washroom.

Does anyone at your school do anything about this???

It's very very very rare where I live in for a girl to commit suicide because of her weight or how she feels about it one of the reasons is because people here actually think it's a healthy thing and find it attractive, as starnge as it may seem to some people out there reading this but it's entirely true and so most women here actually don't feel any pressure on their weight that's not to say that women who are slimmer are at loss but to be honest not many people here care about how much you weigh as much as who you are and other things as well.

:alhamd: :)

[ardianto]

Do you think that maybe the people responsible for those shootings weren't trying to immitate another example?.

Honestly sis, when I saw CCTV pictures of few shooting cases that show the shooters when they were under siege by police, my mind was always flying to some action movies that I have watched. Those shooters look like heroes in the movies!

Of course it can motivate other people to imitate.

[May Ayob]

Honestly sis, when I saw CCTV pictures of few shooting cases that show the shooters when they were under siege by police, my mind was always flying to some action movies that I have watched. Those shooters look like heroes in the movies!

Of course it can motivate other people to imitate.

Salaam alaikum


Yeah I think I'm starting to change my mind about that, especially after just watching a documentary made on the coulmbine massacre.

[May Ayob]

One thing I should probably add because it does strike some people as odd when I say that many women here feel comfortable about their weight. I think this is mainly due to two reasons, one of which that we don't have billboards on every highway street --there are no high way streets anyway-- and the sense of body shame and not revealing so much is still present alhamdulilah so we just don't see alot of pictures popping around everywhere of what the perfect body should be like unless via the internet or tv. Another is that for some reason people think atleast here the more meat on the bone the more healthy you are, meh I find that hard to understand myself :/ but I guess thst explains it. But I don't live in Canada anymore I live way further and so the culture is drastically different as well as the lifestyle. May God help all the women and girls who have a poor self image . Amen.

[Iceee]

That is truly sad to hear about the suicides, Brother Iceee especially in the school that you attend.

Whoa. Media could be one of the reasons to blame for their deaths. The amount of ridiculous and pathetic rubbish they promote that becomes part of vulnerable lives out there. It gets to me when women with flawless complexions (apparently) and disgustingly stick-thin bodies are portrayed everywhere, the effect on people, young or old, is visible. Too clearly in some cases. Actually, in most cases

Anyways, is your school doing anything about these incidents? Will they or are they considering how to approach the students about matters like these? Any measures being taken to ensure nothing like this happens again? Apart from the two unfortunate deaths, has anything like this happend before?

Please don't mind my asking, but I'm curious as to what the school would do now in light of these unfortunate deaths.

Does anyone at your school do anything about this???

Salaam. Sorry for the late reply, busy with work and school.

Everyday this past week for morning announcements, the Principal came on and said some facts about suicide and was telling everyone via announcements about suicide and how we should come to our school Guidance if we need help, talk to parents, talk to friends; anyone that can help.

We then had an assembly which I didn't go to today about bullying and how it effects people. I would have gone but I went to Friday Jumah Prayers at the nearby masjid. Anyways, the school was watching a movie on a Friday so well, yeah.

I don't know what the school can do in this situation. Bullying is a problem in every school. The way we act, dress, and feel is a problem most of us feel everywhere. Suicide is normal in today's society, just not talked about. Think about it.

Also; I heard one of the girls talking to her friend saying that the female hall monitor goes into the girls washroom during lunch to see if the girls are "purging." The girl then said, "That's (swear word) stupid because they (the girls who are puking their meals) learned to do it silently.

[Innocent Soul]

I think we just need to make people understand the value of life. Saying them is not always enough try to make them realize. Maybe some people who never thought that they would commit suicide later did it. Everyone is not so wise to stay calm always we need someone always to keep our self our from doibg the erong thing. I think many of them just needed someone who could help them. Not everyone thinks that she or her is so strong to fight the problems of life. Hope,strength,faith in god are some important things that one should have to be able to help others and be of any help to the people.

[sohail1234]

assalam o alikum
It is nice to read that you have raised this issue, media is playing a very negative role now days in our society. It is the duty of govt to make some rules and regulation to restrict media for breaking such realities in front of the viewers. Media is awareing the youth in a wrong way, they are showing the true stories of people which should be kept secret, it is the only reason that youth is committing suicide. last month my friend also commited suicide just for a girl :cry:

[Iceee]

Media is awareing the youth in a wrong way, they are showing the true stories of people which should be kept secret

Actually, the media never told our school about the suicides which occurred. (astukfirulah)

But during period two, around 11:30am, the Principal of our school comes on the announcement and tells all the staff and students in our school that a student (girl) has committed suicide.

Suicides are not posted on the news and only we know who died.

In conclusion, please don't do this to yourselves. Don't let media tell you how to look and dress and who to date and who to marry.