hamid_al-murid
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- Islam
salaam `alaykum wa rahmatu'llahi wa barakatuh
to the anonymous muslim who sought good advice a few years ago and did not seem to receive it:
i read your posts. i skimmed the replies. none of them would have fed my heart if i were in your position, if i had your questions. you are to me a wayfarer who was in need yet who was not helped. I feel it as a weight in my heart, so that i must respond. so i leave this piece of bread somewhere where you might find it. i share with you the food that fed me.
i believe that Islam is a complete religion. I also do not believe it is monolithic. Allah says it was sent as a mercy to all people. there are many different types of people. we all learn in different ways. we have different sensibilities, different needs. some people navigate through life by thinking, some by feeling. people also change over time, and their needs change. therefore the deen is manifold. it is varied. it has many different kinds of things for many different kinds of people at many different stages of life. it is a many-faceted jewel that is spinning: any time you look you see a different part. you come to it seeking and you get what you need, insha'llah...and if you don't get what you need, you need to learn patience.
many people are born and raised in this deen, and learn it by imitation. they grow up in it, and learn from their parents, teachers, peers. they receive sometimes parts of it without adult reflection, and decide to believe what they were told to believe simply because they were told. and this can be a very good thing.
converts however come to the deen as adults, with adult minds and adult sensibilities. they come with personalities already formed. they come with a worldview already established. they have burning questions, and they have already developed ways of discovering the truth of any matter that may be very different from the way a muslim raised in the deen would use. someone in this position has questions...legitimate, important questions that children don't have.
i loved your questions. i respect your sincerity. i hope you have found answers, later, elsewhere, that calmed your heart.
in response to you, I wanted to tell you about the hadith I read that has helped me:
The Prophet (salla Allahu `alayhi wa salaam) said:
“Leave that which makes you doubt
for that which does not make you doubt.
Verily, truth is tranquility and falsehood is doubt.”
[Sunan al-Tirmidhi and Sunan al-Nasaai – Hadith Sahih]
this is a hadith that makes religion possible for me. it teaches me to move toward the parts of the deen that strengthen my iman, and away from what does not. if i follow what it tells me, i keep my attention only on what makes my iman grow. i don't read random ahadith, i don't pour through bukhari and muslim thinking it is my responsibility to understand and believe anything. i treat my faith like the tiny sprout of a tree that might one day be very big but now is very small. i trust the roots of the sprouting tree to reach down deep into the earth and find what they need there: water, minerals, nutrients to make it grow. i treat my iman like a tiny baby. when it cries i try to learn what it longs for. i guess what it needs and give my guesses to it and see what calms it. i wait for it to grow. i wait for a time when i will be able to teach it to ask me for what it needs with words it learned.
in the beginning, i feed it milk. i don't make it choke on meat.
Allah knows best the affair of His slave
ma`as-salaam wa rahmatu'llah
~hamid
to the anonymous muslim who sought good advice a few years ago and did not seem to receive it:
i read your posts. i skimmed the replies. none of them would have fed my heart if i were in your position, if i had your questions. you are to me a wayfarer who was in need yet who was not helped. I feel it as a weight in my heart, so that i must respond. so i leave this piece of bread somewhere where you might find it. i share with you the food that fed me.
i believe that Islam is a complete religion. I also do not believe it is monolithic. Allah says it was sent as a mercy to all people. there are many different types of people. we all learn in different ways. we have different sensibilities, different needs. some people navigate through life by thinking, some by feeling. people also change over time, and their needs change. therefore the deen is manifold. it is varied. it has many different kinds of things for many different kinds of people at many different stages of life. it is a many-faceted jewel that is spinning: any time you look you see a different part. you come to it seeking and you get what you need, insha'llah...and if you don't get what you need, you need to learn patience.
many people are born and raised in this deen, and learn it by imitation. they grow up in it, and learn from their parents, teachers, peers. they receive sometimes parts of it without adult reflection, and decide to believe what they were told to believe simply because they were told. and this can be a very good thing.
converts however come to the deen as adults, with adult minds and adult sensibilities. they come with personalities already formed. they come with a worldview already established. they have burning questions, and they have already developed ways of discovering the truth of any matter that may be very different from the way a muslim raised in the deen would use. someone in this position has questions...legitimate, important questions that children don't have.
i loved your questions. i respect your sincerity. i hope you have found answers, later, elsewhere, that calmed your heart.
in response to you, I wanted to tell you about the hadith I read that has helped me:
The Prophet (salla Allahu `alayhi wa salaam) said:
“Leave that which makes you doubt
for that which does not make you doubt.
Verily, truth is tranquility and falsehood is doubt.”
[Sunan al-Tirmidhi and Sunan al-Nasaai – Hadith Sahih]
this is a hadith that makes religion possible for me. it teaches me to move toward the parts of the deen that strengthen my iman, and away from what does not. if i follow what it tells me, i keep my attention only on what makes my iman grow. i don't read random ahadith, i don't pour through bukhari and muslim thinking it is my responsibility to understand and believe anything. i treat my faith like the tiny sprout of a tree that might one day be very big but now is very small. i trust the roots of the sprouting tree to reach down deep into the earth and find what they need there: water, minerals, nutrients to make it grow. i treat my iman like a tiny baby. when it cries i try to learn what it longs for. i guess what it needs and give my guesses to it and see what calms it. i wait for it to grow. i wait for a time when i will be able to teach it to ask me for what it needs with words it learned.
in the beginning, i feed it milk. i don't make it choke on meat.
Allah knows best the affair of His slave
ma`as-salaam wa rahmatu'llah
~hamid
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