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andromeda50
07-05-2013, 12:44 PM
I am a non muslim but i need to send a greeting for Ramadan to my daughter who is muslim.
she has cut-off contact from myself but for no valid reason. what is a suitable extract from the
Koran that I could send on a ramadan card. Thankyou
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greenhill
07-05-2013, 12:56 PM
Sorry to hear that! I feel for you. I only wonder on the word 'valid' reason. That is a matter of perception. It may be 'valid' for her, rightly or wrongly. Perhaps if you can briefly state what her reasons why it may help in finding a solution?

I do hope that it will end well for you and her. In the meantime, I feel quite positive that there will be members of the forum that will be able to find some quotes for you.

Have patience and peace to you.
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glo
07-05-2013, 01:08 PM
You sound like a wonderful and caring mum! I hope the relationship between you and your daughter will be restored. God's blessings to you both.
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andromeda50
07-05-2013, 01:12 PM
Thankyou for your kind reply, I should have said there is 'no' reason. unfortunately she has done this to other people, including members of the muslim side of her family. we have all been patient for a long time, it is very sad, especially when it includes her young children. i will continue to hold out my hand and heart to her even though she rejects it.

i hope I do get some suitable quotes that I could use.
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glo
07-05-2013, 01:17 PM
Perhaps it might help you to look at online Ramadan cards. Many of those contain verses from the Qu'ran.
You could try this link:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=ram...LvCA0AX4iYCQDg

Don't give up hope that your relationship with your daughter and her family will be restored. With God all things are possible. :statisfie
Always try to keep a caring heart and extended hand - and let her know about it.
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Scimitar
07-05-2013, 01:44 PM
How one should treat non Muslim parents:

Asmaa’ bint Abu Bakr was the Prophet’s sister-in-law. She was the daughter of his closest companion and the sister of Aisha, his wife. Her mother, however, did not become a Muslim for quite a long time.Asmaa’ states: “My mother came to me during the time of the Prophet (Pbuh), hoping to get something from me. I asked the Prophet (Pbuh) whether I should be kind to her. He answered: “Yes,”
(Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others).

more here:
http://islamicvoice.com/october.98/hadith.htm



Scimi

EDIT: it may be worthwhile reminding her that no Muslim remains a Muslim if he/she breaks ties of kinship for more than three days.

EDIT 2: I also found this, you may like this in sha Allah (God willing) -

Question:
I am a revert, al-hamdu lillah (all praise to Allah). I want to know how I have to treat my parents and what are my duties towards them if they don't stop me from following Islam. Because according to Islam every person has to respect and take care of his or her parents. Does this also apply to a Muslim with non-Muslim parents?consultant:Ælfwine Mischler
Answer:
As-salamu alaykum Ayesha, and welcome to Islam.

Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

Your question is an important one. Many new Muslims seem to develop an "us-and-them" attitude and think that they should not treat their non-Muslim relatives and friends well, but this is not the case at all.

If your parents are more or less accepting of your decision to be a Muslim, you are very blessed. They may not totally understand your decision, and they may not be totally happy with it. However, if they are not fighting with you or trying to prevent you from practicing Islam, you have a much smoother road ahead of you.

We Muslims should be gentle and kind to our parents. We should always treat them with respect and obey them in any reasonable request that does not go against the teachings of Islam. This is not always easy to do, especially for those of us who were raised in societies where it is common for young people to rebel against their parents.

Note that in at least four places, the Qur'an puts kindness to parents immediately after worship of Allah alone. The Qur'an says what means:

{And (remember) when We made a covenant with the Children of Israel, (saying): Worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents and to kindred and to orphans and the needy, and speak kindly to mankind; and establish worship and pay the poor due. Then, after that, ye slid back, save a few of you, being averse.}(Al-Baqarah 2:83)

{And serve Allah. Ascribe no thing as partner unto Him. (Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and into the neighbor who is of kin (unto you) and the neighbor who is not of kin and the fellow traveler and the wayfarer and (the slaves) whom your right hands possess. Lo! Allah loveth not such as are proud and boastful.} (An-Nisaa 4:36)


{Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them to attain old age with thee, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.} (Al-Israa 17:23)

{And it was said unto his son): O John! Hold the Scripture. And We gave him wisdom when a child, and compassion from Our presence, and purity; and he was devout, and dutiful toward his parents. And he was not arrogant, rebellious.} (Maryam 19:12-14)

{And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents. His mother beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Give thanks unto Me and unto thy parents. Unto Me is the journeying. But if they strive with thee to make thee ascribe unto Me as partner that of which thou hast no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who repenteth unto Me. Then unto Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what ye used to do.} (Luqman 31:14-15)


Note that these last three verses are addressed to mankind, not just to Muslims. And in none of these verses is there anything to indicate that kindness is only to Muslim parents. Even if our parents try to make us ascribe partners to Allah, we are told to treat them kindly.

There is also a hadith that tells us that Asma' bint Abi Bakr was visited in Madinah by her pagan mother. This was at a time when the pagan Quraish had a treaty with the Muslims. Asma' asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) how she should treat her mother. He instructed her to treat her mother kindly. He (peace be upon him) said: "Yes, do an act of kindness to her" (Al-Bukhari, Muslim and Abu Dawud).

So you see, sister, your parents still deserve respect and kindness, even if they don't follow your beliefs. Love them, listen respectfully to them, but don't obey them if they tell you to do something that is against Islam. Help them and even share their joys and sorrows with them. Remember that one of the best forms of da`wah(inviting people to Islam) is through your example.

I hope this answers your question sufficiently. Contact us again if you have more questions.

Salam.

Useful Links:

New Converts and Their Parents

Showing Kindness to Parents

How to Deal with a Non-Muslim Mother

Social Relationship Between Muslim and Non-Muslim Family

Does Paradise Lie under the Feet of a Non-Muslim Mother?
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greenhill
07-05-2013, 02:17 PM
There you go Andromeda50, first batch of info for you. Hope you will find something there.

format_quote Originally Posted by andromeda50
I should have said there is 'no' reason. unfortunately she has done this to other people, including members of the muslim side of her family
That explains a lot. So it is her more than anything else. I can only hazard a guess that she has some 'internal' issues to deal with. Without knowing the background it would be too easy to say things out of context. I have read many comments in this forum on the reverse where people converting to islam will find their old friends distancing themselves over time, but not many saying they have severed ties with family for no reason. Strange.

As a parent myself, I hope she will come round, and that you do not lose heart in your attempts to reach out to her.

Peace
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phylly9
07-05-2013, 05:15 PM
Sorry to hear that your daughter is not in contact with you but dear your prayers and good wishes will always be with her.
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Muhaba
07-05-2013, 05:39 PM
We have enjoined on mankind kindness to parents, but if they (either of them) strive (to force) you to join with Me (in worship) anything of which you have no knowledge, don’t obey them. You have (all) to return to Me, and I will tell you (the Truth) of all that you did. (Ch. 29, Al-Ankabut, verse 8).

Hadith:
لا يدخل الجنة قاطعة الرحم
The breaker of the ties of kinship will not enter Heaven.
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Muslim Woman
07-05-2013, 06:15 PM
hello


a verse on Ramadan .


O you who believe!

Observing As-Saum (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious ) Holy Quran , Chapter 2 , Verse 183



u may visit the following links .








http://www.123greetings.com/events/ramadan/












http://islamgreatreligion.wordpress....nd-wallpapers/

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andromeda50
07-06-2013, 01:45 PM
Thankyou everyone for your kind words of support and examples of quotes.

It does remain a mystery to me how anyone can believe that they are still a devout muslim when they have cut off their ties of kinship, especially with their mother. I have read that on this forum that it should be no longer than 3days or you are not a muslim, and also that you cannot enter heaven. I thought that these things were of paramount importance to a muslim. Is there ever a time when cutting off contact is permissible? I mean in a situation where the persons faith and customs are respected and there is no violence, crime, drugs or alcohol involved. I also thought that Ramadan was supposed to be a time to make amends for these sort of things, but this will be the 3rd Ramadan since contact was cut. I know no-one can help but I just wondered what anyone thought.

I may be a non-muslim but I have friends who are and I have a respect for the depth of their faith to them.
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glo
07-06-2013, 02:39 PM
In which country do you live, andromeda50? And where does your daughter live?
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andromeda50
07-06-2013, 03:03 PM
We both live in the U.K. but about 6 hours travelling distance apart.
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glo
07-06-2013, 03:30 PM
I have read many stories of converts to Islam being rejected by their non-Muslim families ... so it is quite sad to read the same in reverse. imsad

Do you know why your daughter severed her ties?
Did she ever fear that her family might be critical of or against her new faith?
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sister herb
07-06-2013, 03:39 PM
Peace with you my sister in humanity andromeda50

Maybe you could send her email to some sister here and she will send Ramadan greeting to her?

:statisfie By pm, no to public forum.
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sister herb
07-06-2013, 03:43 PM
This sister might then tell to her greeting from you too, if you accept.

As limited member you can´t send pm to anyone else than moderator or admin.
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glo
07-06-2013, 03:47 PM
I think that's a good idea. :)

Alternatively, do you know any of her Muslim friends and contacts in the UK? It might be better to build contact through somebody she already knows than through a stranger (even if it is a Muslim).

Or do you know which mosque she goes to and can make contact through the imam?
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andromeda50
07-06-2013, 04:05 PM
thats a nice thought from sister herb and glo, unfortunately the situation is more complex, than thiese seemingly straightforward solutions. i did contact her muslim friend once and received a text to not contact her again, but I just think she didnot want to get involved. so all avenues have been blocked, as they are for her muslim relatives too, and as a consequence her young children are wrapped up in this. it is a very difficult situation.

I still wonder if anyone can answer my question about when is it possible to cut off ties and still be a muslim? Especially with Ramadan being the month of forgiveness and making amends
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greenhill
07-06-2013, 07:42 PM
I feel bad that I do not have any to offer you on what you request.

So everything else I say becomes merely words of comfort (or opposite). This situation could be anything. She could be coerced, or she could have decided on her own. Whatever the situation, I am afraid that there is a possibility you may have only one chance at this. Don't expect any answers or try to make/force the issue/decision for her, just let her know of your feelings for her (with whatever quotes) and that the door is always open...? At the very least, you have said your piece. The rest is up to her.

Again, this is a sweeping statement and has to be taken with pinches of salt.

Peace and hope
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ardianto
07-07-2013, 02:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by andromeda50
I still wonder if anyone can answer my question about when is it possible to cut off ties and still be a muslim? Especially with Ramadan being the month of forgiveness and making amends
There is ex-wife, there is ex-husband, but there is no ex-parent and there is no ex-children. Blood relations should not be cut. This is what older Muslims in my place have taught me.

One of my wife friend is a convert from Christianity since almost 20 years ago. But she still maintain her relationship with her parents and family. Like I've said, blood relations should not be cut.

I don't have idea for you. But, always open your door for your daughter. She may come anytime.
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crimsontide06
07-07-2013, 02:05 AM
Please direct your daughter to this thread; that way she can read it for herself

"When a Muslim cuts ties with family, he/she cannot call themselves Muslim"

You're welcome!
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