What I have Learnt from My Time on Forums

So, its been just over 2 years since I first joined the world of on-line forums, and Ive been thinking about what I have learnt in this time, what has changed and what are the pros and cons of being here.

Prior to this, I really did not spend much time on-line - life was a lot busier, and I would have probably considered the thought of being a member of an on-line forum as either crazy or simply a waste of time.

The first islamic forum that I had joined turned out to be shia-run (I was clearly clueless about how to assess a good forum, lol!) – and for obvious reasons, that did not last very long.

I took a break for a few months, and then joined IB thereafter.

I feel like its been a virtual, yet very real journey, and alhamdulillah, Ive learnt a few things in this time:

1. Time Management:
Its quite easy to get drawn into the many discussions that occur on forums, and one can literally spend hours on end in this manner.

Time is SO precious, and I’ve learnt that one needs to be able to control/ limit the amount of time spent in discussions – esp. if it is related to worldly affairs, and not directly to deen.

If we consider that our days in this dunya are literally numbered (the time of our deaths cannot be post-poned in any way), and so, every minute that is passing, is a minute that is forever lost and is bringing us closer to our exit from this world.

The problem is, that we have an assumption that this number is still carrying many, many digits to it. Yet it could be, that we only have another 24 hours of life left within us – in this case, would we be spending this precious time engaged in worldly discussions?

So, know well what your purpose is on a forum and set yourself limits in terms of how much time is spent on-line each day.


2. Living a ‘Virtual’ Life
As an extension to the above – more time spent on-line in cyber-space, translates to less time spent in the real world.

While there are many benefits to the internet (e.g. learning about islam, increasing our knowledge, etc), there are also many benefits to switching off our laptops, and going outside : )

e.g.
We may be engaged in discussions concerning: dawah, the situation of the ummah in many parts of the world, being good to the needy and orphans, reading quraan and establishing our salaah….

But:

How many of us are ACTUALLY:

- Giving dawah: starting from those who are closest to us: our neighbours, friends and going beyond?
- Engaging in an actual project that will be of benefit to our brothers and sisters across the world?
- Spending actual time with an orphan, visiting the sick in hospitals, assisting in charities?
- Increasing our recitation of quraan, making an effort to study Arabic/ memorize another surah, reading extra/ nafl salaah?

Our words may sound really good on paper.
But are actually walking the talk?

Are we actually LIVING Islam in real life, and not just on the internet?



*** To be continued in shaa Allah ***

What I have learnt from my time on forums?

:embarrass 1) Better English

2) Understanding people from different cultures much better than before

3) Friends from all over the world!!!!!

Sometime (just sometime) I played video game which I could drive my expensive sport car in race, collected money easily and bought more sport cars. But outside of video game?. I drive my old Toyota and must struggle hard collecting money to buy newer car.

Yes, this is the difference of virtual life and real life. Live in virtual life is easier than live in the real life.

Is internet forum part of virtual life?. For me, IB is a part of my real life. Like I've ever said, everything that I've told about myself is true except my real name. But my character and personality that you have seen here reflect the real me. If I regard that IB is just part of virtual life, probably I would pretend as an ustadz.

I don't live in virtual world, I still live in the real world. But, yeah, live in the real world is not as easy as live in virtual world. It's not easy to lose someone who became part of my life. It's affect my behavior. I become more quiet and temporary lost my mood to talk. This is why I did not active in last two weeks although I still visited IB regularly, and read the forum posts everyday. But other members didn't know it because I visited IB as guest.

I just need a time before I active again in IB. In Shaa Allah, I will share my experiences and lessons that I get from my daily life, especially that related to Islam and Muslims. Remember, I do not regard IB people as just virtual characters.

Lots of interesting, yet practical thoughts here. Thank you for starting the discussion.

Read and understanding what people are saying but realizing these people are not scholars so take it all in but do research as well

Sometimes I regret it, why did not I give more time to my wife. But my wife never complains when I used the internet. Maybe because I always with her in last few years. Like I've said, I work at home and I can share my time, when I use internet, when I use my time for people around me.

But I realize, my activity on forum often disturb my concentration in working in internet. I have side job in internet. Usually when I work I open new tab, special for IB. And often, instead of concentrating in working, I am thinking what I should write for IB.

I was not a boy who spent the time alone in the room, but I was a boy who active in socialization. I have many friends. Alhamdulillah, although basically I am a quiet introvert I could get new friends easily. I always enjoyed my time with my friends, I have learned much from my friendship with people from various background. I have done many activities with my friends, I went to many places with them, until me and my friends entered the new phase of life, ..... got married.

Honestly, after getting married I could no longer do activities with my friends as free as when I was single though I was able to chat with the people I met, even I still could get some new acquaintances.

I felt happy in my marriage, but as someone who is familiar with a lot of friends, sometimes I missed the time when I got together with my friends, chatting and sharing experiences. That's why I feel at home in the IB

Internet forum is not taking me away from people in my place, but internet forum take me close to people who far from my place. Internet forum, especially IB, is the part of my real life. Not only because I bring my life experience to the forum, but I also bring what I have learned on IB for the people in my place. I told them about Muslims life in the West, I share what I have learned about Pakistani culture, etc.

glo said:

I have also learned that exactly because forum members are real people, we must treat each other with the same care and patience and politeness as we would show to people in our 'real' lives. Forum members have feelings too!

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In friendship with people who I really meet I learned to read the feeling through face expression, body language and voice intonation. But in forum I learned to read the feeling through what and how they write.

Every forum member is the real person with his/her own unique character and personality. Of course they can be happy, can be angry, can be sad, can be ....

Everyone in forum may pretend as 'someone else' with fake character and personality. However if he/she still write, soon or later his/her real character and personality will be seen.