My family isn't close

[Anas Lewis]

:sl:

Firstly, let me start positively by stating that I am MORE than grateful to :Allah: :swt: that He :swt: has allowed me to be born into the religion of Islam, and that I do not currently have any deformities or anything alike. May Allah allow me and the rest of my family to firmly keep hold of our deen. Ameen.

Unfortunately for me, we haven't been brought up in a way which we all love each other, we can rely on each other and we are open with each other. We're almost the exact opposite.

So I want some advice on how I can improve my family relationship and step up my game, because we all individually need to contribute to reconstructing it. Nothing will be done without all of our effort combined.

Jazakallah.

[tigerkhan]

:sl:
say salam in abundance, greet them with smiles and gifts

[Skorpio]

I know exactly where your coming from, your genuine love and kind actions will lead your family to see just how beneficial and rewarding family relationships can be. You need to lead the way, what do you see as important in improving family relationship? Spend time sitting with the parents, the siblings and conversing about a general topic, get everyone into the habit of talking openly and inshallah things will progress at their own pace.

[Ahmad H]

You can try spending time together with them in ways which will get you to become closer. One way I know that people get closer, is when they eat together. If you eat together, especially from the same plate. It creates a sense of belonging together and it also creates closeness. A person who seems remote might feel they can break the ice with you.

Or, try playing some games with them. Try a board game, they are really fun and if you play them then you are communicating with one another. You can learn about how your family is much better in this way. It wouldn't hurt to try this. Try Scrabble or some other intellectual game. These games help build up brain power as well.

What about discussing a topic of common interest? Maybe you could bring up something you need help with and as well and ask them to assist you. This way they know you depend on them, and that they can be counted on. This creates a sense of closeness as well.

Otherwise, you can do du'a to Allah by also using verses of the Qur'an which speak about the closeness of family, such as the verses mentioning kinship, the birth of a child, doing good to parents, etc. It is good to focus on certain Ayats of the Qur'an which relate to the issue you are praying for to Allah with. This is how a lot of people who are well aware of the spiritual effects of invoking Allah with certain key words and phrases please Him to the extent that He helps you based on your belief in His words. it is just like invoking Allah by His attributes for whatever issue you have that you invoke Him for help with. For example, Allah is Al-Wadood, (All-Loving), thus, invoke His name Al-Wadood and ask Him to increase love between you and your family members. Allah's Names are the most beautiful names, as He says Himself in Surah Al-Hashr (59). So do try this in your prayers, perhaps Allah's Mercy will descend on you after asking Him enough times, and you and your family will become closer, In sha' Allah.

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[Anas Lewis]

My family isn't your average sized family. I have 7 siblings. I sometimes even forget their age.

Don't get me wrong, we can have typical discussions about random topics, but we don't share a lot of things with each other. But Alhamdhulilah. I will try to rebuild our bonds.

[islamic.teacher]

Salam Alekom,
you need to start building your relationship with them first
try to get closer to them one by one
then after you are satisfied with your relationship with them

then start working on getting them together
not all at once but two by two then three by three and so on

[ardianto]

My family isn't your average sized family. I have 7 siblings. I sometimes even forget their age.

Don't get me wrong, we can have typical discussions about random topics, but we don't share a lot of things with each other. But Alhamdhulilah. I will try to rebuild our bonds.

:sl:

My wife (late) had 7 siblings too. 4 sisters and 3 brothers. Did they close with each other?. Close enough, but female with female were closer than male with male, or female with male.

I myself have 3 siblings. I am the eldest, the 2nd is my brother, the 3rd and 4th are my sisters. .

Honestly, my closest sibling actually my 3rd sister. My 2nd brother? I always talk with him, but we rarely in discussion. Me and my brother have different social circles since we were teen although few of his friends are my friends too. While my 4th sister? when we were teen, some of her friends assumed that I was her boyfriend. :D

But we really love each other. There's always emotional bond between us.

Closeness between siblings actually is not measured by how long they can discuss with each other, but measured by how strong emotional bond between them.

Like I've said, I rarely discuss with my brother, but I am always there for him anytime he need me. Like now, when he is in problem because the mistake he has made in investment and need financial support.

Always there for your siblings anytime they need you.