Few months back I happend to be at my friend's place for a lunch. Since the house was a small apartment we were sitting in the bedroom waiting for the lunch. My friend's son of 9 years was serving us the food plates carrying from the kitchen. I noticed that everytime he brought a dish he stood at the door and knocked seeking permission to enter. I asked my friend as to why the little child is asking the permission every time he enters the room. He replied: This is our bed room so we have cultivated this habits in our kids that they must knock the door whenever they want to enter the bedroom as they are now grown up. The child was following his routine habit innocently even now when serving the food to guest. It was one of the finest display of homely Quranic manners that I had ever seen in a child.
The family is the smallest unit of the society and it needs to be decorated with divine values instructed by Allah himself. Umar bin al Khattab , as a khalifa instructed people to teach Surah Noor to their women. If you study verse no 58, it talks about teaching the child behavioural etiquettes. " Children even if they have not reached the age ofpuberty shold seek permission to enter the room of the parents three times of the day. Before your fajr prayers, after the zohar prayers , and after isha prayers. The Qur'an says: These are the three times of undressing, outsides these times it is not wrong for you or for them to move about attending to each other..
The next verse says : But when the children among you come of age, let them also ask for permision as elders to them do...Both the above verses ends up saying that Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom. These are one of the regular wise lessons of hijab at home which has to be cultivated as a habit right from an early age. This builds a modest atittude .
Another friend of mine is a Da'ee. Alhamdolillah he makes a point to teach his children how to talk to people. The family sits on the dinner table and discusses about things happening around . The children participate in the disucssion by asking questions and giving their views while lowering their voice. " If you loose your temper then you will loose your arguments , so lower your voice in a discussion even if you disagree" the father adviced his son in my presence.
Centuries before the Qur'an was revealed a wise man called Luqman was giving the same advice to his son : Lower you voice , for the hashest of the sounds without doubt is the braying of the ass . But it is interesting to note that the entire lessons began from Touhid ( The oneness of God) and covered up important etiquttes of conversation and atittude too. From verse no 13 to 19 we fine most important lessons in building and maintaining human relations. Every father must read and study the Tafseers of these verses as a syllabus for Daddy-cated fatherhood. The lesson begins with verse 12 as Allah declares the lessons as " Wisdom besowed upon Luqman" ,indicating that it was not Luqman's own skills but a divine guidance that is needed even today. The wisdom of Luqman are still preserved in the Qur'an and an honour that an entire Surah named after the wise man. Dont be just sit satisfied with the tajweed of your child but teach your child the essence of Touhid. That is the foundation of an Islamic family.
Recall the death of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) when he calls upon his both the sons and instucts them " O My sons! Allah has chosen the faith for you so do not die except in the state of submission ( to Allah)." Mark well that both the sons were Prophets yet Ibahim instructed them Touhid on his death bed. Do Prophets needs such instruction when they are the chosen people of Allah? Yes it is the concerned of an afectionate father to worry about his children's akhera even if they are Prophets! That is what fatherhood all about. Your son is your son and you have to correct him and remind him of Allah even if you are in your 950th year like Noah ( peace be upon him).
Author Nisaar Nadiadwala can be responded at
nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com