Sustenance guarantee for married people. In Shaa Allah.

[ardianto]

:sl:

There was a good message in a nasheed lyric that I listened today, "If we get married, Allah will make us wealthy". Then suddenly my memory flew. First, to the brothers who are in "frustration in getting married" because they think they cannot get married if they are not rich. And then to my relative who worked in my small company in 90's.

My relative was coming from my dad hometown. One day when we chat he told me that he wanted to get married if he could find a girl who was willing to marry him, and he was not afraid he could not fulfill his wife needs although his income was low. He said that he believe, if he get married, then Allah would open the door of sustenance for him. He said he had seen some example through his friends which their income becoming better after getting married.

Few months later his mother in his hometown phoned him that she found a girl. He back to his hometown to meet that girl. Then they got married few weeks later in very simple wedding. For few first months he still worked in my company and lived in office with his wife. Then they back to their hometown where my relative started his micro business, selling shoes with only a desk to display the shoes.

That's happened in mid of 90's. Now? Alhamdulillah, he has his own shop, good income, and live happily with his wife and children. He's right, if someone get married, then Allah will open the door of sustenance for him.

I know that's right because I felt it in my married life. I was coming from family with good financial ability, but then I made big mistake in business which made me lost big amount of my wealth. Then I started my business again from bottom with intention to fulfill my duty as a husband and father. Alhamdulillah, little by little then my income increased and then I could pamper my beloved wife and children with buying what they want.

So, brothers, don't be afraid to get married if your income is still low. You don't have to delay to get married until you are being wealthy. As long as you already have a job and already find a girl who is willing to accept you, .... get married!. In Shaa Allah, then Allah will open the door of sustenance for you if you believe it.

And to the sisters, don't be afraid to accept a brother as a husband just because he is not rich. As long as he is pious, have good sense of responsibility, accept him. Then what you should do are tawakal, Ikhlas, and sabr.

Tawakal. Believe that Allah will open the door of sustenance for your husband.

Ikhlas. Be thankful for what your husband gives to you. Understand that your husband is in his jihad to fulfill your needs. Support your husband sincerely (Ikhlas)

Sabr. Be patient. I understand if you want to have something. But if this is beyond your husband ability, be patient until your husband able to buy it.

In Shaa Allah, the door of sustenance will always be opened for you.

:)

[Scimitar]

Akhi, in also believe the same too... recently I watched this original drama short on the BBC i-Player (you need to be in the Uk to watch this - or go thru a proxy - but its worth it)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode...rts-2-my-jihad

It's called "My Jihad", but its not about the typical westernised understanding of the word - but the original meaning of it - the brother in the film relates his jihad to staying chaste and finding a good woman to marry in sha Allah.... like I said, its short and really quite good to watch. In fact, I was really surprised that the BBC had produced this - MORE PLEASE :)

btw, here is the link to the synopsis: http://dramaticreviews.wordpress.com...ummary-review/

And here is the synopsis from the BBC:

To find the girl of his dreams, Nazir goes along to an Islamic speed-dating evening. But all he finds are women keen to know how he'd support a wife financially and, as Nazir isn't able to support himself financially, it's all a little disastrous.
It's even worse when Fahmida, chaperoning her friend Yasmin, insults Nazir for his fecklessness. Nazir leaves, but when he boards the bus home he finds he hasn't got the bus fare and, spotting Fahmida, begs her for the money. To stop the embarrassment of Nazir holding everyone up, she gives him the fare.
When they find themselves sitting next to each other, bit by bit they begin a conversation that to their surprise shows they have more in common than they thought. Will Fahmida allow her prejudice against Nazir's poverty to get in the way of a potentially beautiful friendship? Or perhaps more?
My Jihad is a tender and funny love story told on a night bus journey home.


Scimi

[ardianto]

Akhi, in also believe the same too...

As we know, getting married is sunnah. And we must be believe that Allah will give us easiness to live in this sunnah.

And have you ever heard that every child brings his/her own sustenance?. People in my place believe it. It's based on belief that every is mandate from Allah to parents, and if Allah give a child to the parents, Allah will also grant sustenance for this child life needs, that will be given through parents. That's why, when fathers, or a husbande who their wives are in pregnant, in my place get sustenance, they often say "this is my child sustenance".

So, we should not be afraid that we will not able to fulfill our wives needs in married life.

Jazak Allah Khayr for "My Jihad", akhi, may Allah give you easiness in your jihad. :)

[Predator]

And to the sisters, don't be afraid to accept a brother as a husband just because he is not rich. As long as he is pious, have good sense of responsibility, accept him.

Tell that also to the girl's parents who expect their future son-in-law to treat her as a princess.

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[Scimitar]

I feel like i'm beyond hope sometimes :D 39 years old and all that, still unmarried.... but I feel that everything happens when Allah decrees.

And yes bro Predator, telling that to the parents is a BIG problem - personal experience tells me that. So yeah, best to wait til the sister turns 30 and the parents get desperate, then anything will do :D kidding of course

[ardianto]

Tell that also to the girl's parents who expect their future son-in-law to treat her as a princess.

The main factor that makes men afraid to get married is attitude among some girls which "Okay, I will be your wife if you give me what I want, treat me like I want". This is based on mentality "Rights first, duty ..... maybe next time". And indeed, family upbringing take big role to create this mentality among some girls.

We must educate the parents, the girls, and the boys. Not only the parents. We should teach boys and girls to prioritize duties than rights. We can teach them to learn from farmer who plant tree and maintain this tree with responsibility before can enjoy the harvest. It will make them have principle give and take, not take and give.

The wife can ask the husband to buy something for her if the husband is able to buy it. But if the husband still haven't able, the wife should support the husband in his duty to make money to make the husband able to buy what the wife want.

Is the wife princess in the family?. No!, the wife is queen in the family, and queen has duties and responsibility toward the king. Of course the king has duties and responsibility toward the queen too. King and queen must support each other.