Homeschooling

[duas.com]

Asalaamu alaykum everyone

I'd like to get everyone's thoughts on homeschooling for your children, it seems that with the current moral decay of society, the homeschooling method is the best option for parents who want to raise their children as practising Muslims.

In the UK alhamdulillah it is extremely easy to begin as the law is quite relaxed and there are a lot of organisations that offer support.

[Iceee]

Salaam.

What do you mean by "current moral decay of society?"

[greenhill]

Home schooling is a tough one. Have to be discipline and it is over a long period (many years).

Don't think there are any alternatives to the mainstream educational curriculum in Malaysia and I am definitely don"t know much about what is available there. But if I were to do the same here, it will be the likes of Madrasah etc that will mean my kids could only be ready for religious related works... Don't think he/she would be 'qualified' to work in the mainstream job market.

^o)

[ardianto]

:wa:

'Imprison' the children through forced them to study at home is not the right way to save them from moral decay in society. Children need to learn to socialize to make them have good sensitivity of social care, and make them aware about reality in the world, including reality of the Muslim society. It will make them able to do something for ummah.

A Muslim child who is barred to socialize in society and forced to learn Islam only through theory at home, very possible will become someone who fluent in speak about halal and haram, but do not care when his neighbor is hungry. It's because his social sensitivity was never developed. And also he will become someone who like to judge and condemn other Muslims who walk on the wrong way, but never do anything to guide them back to the right way.

To be honest, I was a naughty boy when I was teen. However, it's not because my socialization in school, but because my socialization outside the school. Even school was the place where I learned to back to become good boy. Alhamdulillah, I had many good teachers who guide me to become good person, had many school mates who motivated me to become positive person.

School was the place where I learned to have responsibility in society, was the place where I learned to respect each other, was the place where I developed my social care. I still remember my school visit to orphanages and nursing homes. I still remember when we spontaneously gave charity when we heard there were people who need help.

Frankly, I cannot imagine if I always study at home and never involved in society. Will I have a sense of social care like I have now?. Can I understand other people and know how to respect each other?. Will I know how to co-operate with other people in doing positive matter?.

So please, do not see school as institution that will ruin our children morality.

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[ardianto]

Home schooling is a tough one. Have to be discipline and it is over a long period (many years).

Don't think there are any alternatives to the mainstream educational curriculum in Malaysia and I am definitely don"t know much about what is available there. But if I were to do the same here, it will be the likes of Madrasah etc that will mean my kids could only be ready for religious related works... Don't think he/she would be 'qualified' to work in the mainstream job market.

^o)

Our children can study at school, and also learn Islam through Islamic teacher after the school hours. This is the best alternative than just choose one, go to ordinary school or madrasah.

[Muhaba]

I was homeschooled.

Homeschooling can be a great way to educate your children. However, you need to make sure that they are taught by knowledgeable individuals (the parents or tutors). In today's nuclear society where people even tend to not have connections to neighbors, you also have to make sure your children get to meet and interact with peers. This can be done through regular 'homeschooling parents' meetings where parents and homeschooled children meet each other.

There are companies that sell homeschooling education programs like Calvert. One thing you need to be careful about is making sure that the books don't contain unislamic or objectionable material. If you can alternate some books or can find an Islamic homeschool program, then it is better. Be especially careful about the types of reading books / stories that your children read and the types of TV programs they study because these tend to affect and influence children's minds.

I don't like the idea of sending children to kufr schools where they are tuaght all sort of immoral things, even things like homosexuality!

[InToTheRain]

:sl:

I think it's a great idea if you can pull it off. I am also considering this for my son but I have some time yet; he is two and I believe it's legally enforced from the age of 5?
It's important to have a strong foundation so that they are prepared for the trials/tribulations faced by children growing up here on a daily basis; rather then trying to form a foundation in the midst of it all.

Also schools are really strict these days; there is a fine if you don't get authorised abscence:
Quarter of primary schools have fined parents for term-time holidays, survey says | Education | The Guardian

So home schooled allows you the freedom to travel... but then again if your the tutor there is no "time out" for you ... hmmmm ...

My biggest concern is the lack of social interaction so I will look into the homeschooled parent meeting in due time. Also they can later on go into sixth forms/colleges/uni to gain further qualifications so they have the skill set for the job markets out there.

more info here:
Regulations On The Home Schooling Of Your Child

[ardianto]

I am not against homeschooling. But I hope decision to choose homeschooling for children is not based on assumption that ordinary school will ruin our children morality.

Actually my previous post was a response to the OP view about moral decay in society. Yes, society is not perfect. But it doesn't means there's nothing good in society which our children can learn.

[Nur80]

I think that homeschooling is the only way to go in our society today. I don't have children yet myself, but I have many friends/family who have decided to homeschool their kids. But it has to be done properly and I know that many people cannot afford the resources required- which schools provide for free. I would strongly advice everyone to at least consider it, and actually find out why people are choosing to homeschool. It will really change your opinion.

[InToTheRain]

I am not against homeschooling. But I hope decision to choose homeschooling for children is not based on assumption that ordinary school will ruin our children morality.

Actually my previous post was a response to the OP view about moral decay in society. Yes, society is not perfect. But it doesn't means there's nothing good in society which our children can learn.

:sl:

Yes school can be a great place if you associate with the right type of people but there always that chance of them associating with the wrong. With the diminishing power of teachers it's even harder to control secondary schools in particular. In fact it's shocking what I was exposed to at school :omg:

I am not sure which year and country you went to school in but I finished school in 1998 in UK and I don't see how things could have improved since then so a more controlled environment would be great. Of course everyone's experience and opinion on school life will differ somewhat so I can only speak for myself :)

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum,


We are a “homeschooling” family. I put quotes around the homeschooling, because this doesn't really describe what we do. It's not like school at home. It's a completely different way of learning, in many ways.


I mean, I do insist on certain basic skills, like true literacy and numeracy, and being able to express oneself clearly. But apart from that, I do very little “organized classroom” sort of learning (people who do this tend to burnout...).


Hmm, how to describe our approach to learning? (and there are many others...maybe as many as “homeschooling” families... like Islam, perhaps? A Unique Path that is travelled by each person in their own, unique way…?) I'm going to try to describe what we have done (and still do), but let me know if I am not clear.


Look at an infant, how he gazes at you,drinking in everything you do. He is learning. Then as he grows, he turns his gaze increasingly to the world around him, first in the home, then by 2 or 3 he's increasingly drawn to the world outside the home. The library, the supermarket, the bus, the park...so many settings to learn through. Then there are playgroups and classes:gym, art, music... as well as many times for learning from parents:cooking and listening to family stories, discussions, horseplay ...


When a child seemed comfortable and ready (perhaps around 5 for many girls, perhaps 6-7 for many boys),I started to show letters, then words. Numbers, then simple equations. This is the time when “homeschooling” was the mostwork! With my children, it took about 2 years (about half an hour or so every day) to get them literate enough to take off by themselves (more for my dyslexic child, less for a couple of others). That is to say, that they were good enough at reading to enjoy themselves and no longer needed my help or encouragement. They then read themselves up to a fully literate level (fully literate means that they can pretty much access any text theymay need in life (or University)).


The numeracy takes a little more time and parental input, though again, each child is different. Writing skills need to be taught (I waited till they were somewhat literatebefore showing these), but once the basics are grasped, children tend to spontaneously use written language for their own purposes.Parental “teaching” is not very necessary.


But other skills were emphasized. Like:how to look for information, resources. I also searched for and brought into the house a wide variety of books, simple science kits, toys,people... Just having these around is often enough to stir someone's interest in something. And skills and knowledge like cooking and sewing and gardening and political actions and tax returns and poetry and Arabic and debating... And a really important one: how to use the knowledge and skills that you have to solve new and unusual problems.


My children are also not brainwashed little automata that are following what I do (no one has suggested that here; but it is a stereotype I've come across before). They have a wide variety of interests. My eldest is studying Communications/Religion at University now. She also is a skating coach. She considered being a chef. And did a lot of practical research on the topic (yum!)! My second is in Computer Science/Math.And she's good at teaching. My third is really into Computers andLogic and now BJJ, my fourth is really into politics... and history.And karate. My fifth is a competitive athlete and likes to write stories. And my littlest...well, she's only 6, so the world's her oyster right now (smile)! Her latest interest is in science…and piano.


(smile) My children are not chained to their bedrooms...The children have taken classes and camps of various kinds, volunteered at food banks, joined Toastmaster's, go to the masjid every Jum'a, play with both schooled and not-schooled children, joined competitive teams, travelled (for family reasons;and is much cheaper off-season...), learnt to run a household, help the neighbours (of all ages), participated in political gatherings of various sorts... and dream. And play... they have time to think and play (which is one of the best forms of learning, actually). And they all love to read. And they have the time to do so, and learn a wide variety of things. Much more than I could ever know to teach them.


Actually, my children have taught me so much! ... And I have learnt self-directed learning, too.


By high school, I do very little “teaching”. I'm more like a coach: encouraging, offering tips,organizing whatever is needed, suggesting lines of thought to solve problems...and enforcing a little discipline.


I'm sorry if this all sounds strange and vague. It's very hard to explain the sort of “homeschooling” we do. It's nothing like school. It's more like a whole life.


And can they integrate into society?(Laugh!) Well, of course...they've been part of society their whole lives...

[duas.com]

I am not against homeschooling. But I hope decision to choose homeschooling for children is not based on assumption that ordinary school will ruin our children morality.

Actually my previous post was a response to the OP view about moral decay in society. Yes, society is not perfect. But it doesn't means there's nothing good in society which our children can learn.

Ardianto, I find your comments to be very strange and full of assumptions, first I must ask if you live in the UK? Because if you don't then we're really talking about two completely different societies.

In the UK you will find filth spread everywhere, nudity, pornography, bad manners, hatred against minorities, all of which are noticeably increasing, you can even go and ask a elderly non muslim here and they will tell you the same and how much worse society has became since their time. Schools become the hotbed for all of this, when I was in PRIMARY school, the worst thing that you would be exposed to was occasional bad language, that was around 10 years ago, now however it's common to see primary school children (12 and below) smoking, drinking cans of Alcohol, and a lot of them are getting pregnant, and it gets worse as they progress, until it culminates at university, where what goes on in Student Halls is just indescribable. Not just that but there are problems with what is being taught in schools, things like homosexuality being completely fine and normal, the increasing rise of sex education (Which is soon going to be forced on children as young as 7 years old in the UK) and evolution, I know of individuals who have left Islam altogether while in the schooling system.

The moral decay, especially in the UK, is evident.

Also why do you assume that just because a child is learning at home that they are barred from society? That is an absurd thing to say, the child would be going to the Masjid to learn as well and for the prayers, not to mention other clubs and activities, such as Muslim swimming club, and other activities from the sunnah like archery, or horse riding (learning how to drive for modern times) etc.

And of course there is good in the society, but now the balance seems to be tipping strongly, if you want to just let society teach your children, then that's up to you, but if someone wants to safeguard their children and teach them Islam properly then they have that right.

[ardianto]

Ardianto, I find your comments to be very strange and full of assumptions, first I must ask if you live in the UK? Because if you don't then we're really talking about two completely different societies.

I live in Indonesia. Yes, I don't really know about British society except from what I have read.

In the UK you will find filth spread everywhere, nudity, pornography, bad manners, hatred against minorities, all of which are noticeably increasing, you can even go and ask a elderly non muslim here and they will tell you the same and how much worse society has became since their time. Schools become the hotbed for all of this, when I was in PRIMARY school, the worst thing that you would be exposed to was occasional bad language, that was around 10 years ago, now however it's common to see primary school children (12 and below) smoking, drinking cans of Alcohol, and a lot of them are getting pregnant, and it gets worse as they progress, until it culminates at university, where what goes on in Student Halls is just indescribable. Not just that but there are problems with what is being taught in schools, things like homosexuality being completely fine and normal, the increasing rise of sex education (Which is soon going to be forced on children as young as 7 years old in the UK) and evolution, I know of individuals who have left Islam altogether while in the schooling system.

I smoke for the first time at school, in primary school. I got my first porn material in the classroom, in primary school. Then when I entered seconday school which was favorite state school (only smart students who could study there) I got my first drug and marijuana. Not difficult to get drug and marijuana in school. First time I drunk by alcohol was in the school tour, which I drank with my schoolmates. We also shared porn material in the classroom. Yes, bad influence from some students made me turn into a bad boy.

But then I got many help from other students too when I began to realize my fault and decide to stop my bad behavior. Like the advice that I've ever heard, "choose your friends wisely". Bad students influenced me to become a bad boy, the good students from the same school helped me back to become a good boy. Many of bad students finally became better too, due to influence of good students.

Evolution taught in my school too, and become a joke among students. We didn't think we are descendant of ape-like animal, we just regard that Darwin has theory like that, just like other people have their own theories. But there is big difference between school in UK and school in Indonesia. In Indonesia, schools are obligated to teach religion in accordance with the student’s religion (except in religious based school).

The moral decay, especially in the UK, is evident.

Moral decay happen in everywhere, not only in UK.

Also why do you assume that just because a child is learning at home that they are barred from society? That is an absurd thing to say, the child would be going to the Masjid to learn as well and for the prayers, not to mention other clubs and activities, such as Muslim swimming club, and other activities from the sunnah like archery, or horse riding (learning how to drive for modern times) etc.

And of course there is good in the society, but now the balance seems to be tipping strongly, if you want to just let society teach your children, then that's up to you, but if someone wants to safeguard their children and teach them Islam properly then they have that right.

I didn't assume that homeschooling will make children barred from society. I just 'worry' that the reason to choose homeschooling is because the parents want to alienate their children from society. But maybe this is just my assumption which based only from few articles that I’ve read.

First time I knew about homeschooling was through Enid Blyton's books that I read when I was kid. From what I've read homeschooling seem like popular among some people in UK who want to give "exclusive, better education". Frankly, I had good impression on homeschooling. Except if the parents force their children to learn at home with specific reason.

My association in internet with Muslims from UK made me want to know further about them. So I started to active to read articles or watch videos about them. And I found an attitude among few Muslims (just few) which regard that socialization with non-Muslim will make Muslims leave Islam. Frankly, seem like they regard that there is nothing good in non-Muslims society. And they indeed, promote homeschooling to save Muslim children from bad influence of British non-Muslim society. I assumed they want to prevent their children associated with society. (But maybe this is just my assumption).

To be honest, if they had attitude like parents in my place which teach the children that there are good thing and bad thing in society, and children should wise in choose only the good and avoid the bad, I would not have assumption like this. But those Muslims clearly have 100% negative view on British non-Muslim society. And teach negative view toward other people to children is not good, of course.

To be honest too, brother, if you didn't write "the current moral decay of society", I would not assume that you have view like them. I am sorry if I have made a wrong assumption toward you.

:)

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum Duas,


Thank you for the discussion!


As you may have seen, I am very pro-homeschooling. I believe that in the majority of cases, it's the best option for our children as far as both academics and socializing them goes (I like my children to be able to fit into society as a whole, and not just with their peers). However, I think it is also important to be open to other opinions and views.


That there are unhealthy aspects in school is a truth. There are drugs, brainwashing towards the dominant ideology, bullying... there are certainly evils. Is school today worse than in the past? This is harder to say. There have been some pretty awful schools in the past! (smile) And if you read ancient texts at all, you will discover that the older generation has been complaining of the moral degradation of society compared to when they were young since time immemorial!


I think a child's vulnerability to negative influences depends on various factors. School is a factor. But so is the family the child is raised in. Indeed, the family is very important. The schooled children I know of who got into serious trouble as teens had very unhealthy families. The families, of course, blamed the school and society. But they would have been better off looking at themselves, I think.


I understand that you may be feeling under attack. You sound like you have been hurt. And I really empathize. Perhaps you have extended family members who say very aggressive and derogatory comments about your choices in life, including homeschooling? I would say: hang in there. But I would also say that not everyone who disagrees with homeschooling, or (more likely) doesn't know much about it, is similarly attacking you. People may have honest differences of opinion. And this is a really enriching and beautiful thing, if done with gentleness.


I'm glad you found this forum. I pray you will continue to post. Each human Heart is a treasure.


And May Allah Help you with the wonderful adventure called homeschooling!