do no marry these types of men

[ibhamza]

O my sisters, do not seek to marry these seven types of men, and O my brothers, do seek within yourselves if you are one of them!
1. The one who is the slave of the deenar.
Sahih al Bukhari, Hadith 4:137
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "Let the slave of Dinar and Dirham and Khamisa (i.e. money and luxurious clothes) perish for he is pleased if these things are given to him, and if not, he is displeased!"
Dirham, of Quantify and Khamisa perish as he is pleased if these things are given to him, and if not, he is displeased. Let such a person perish and relapse, and if he is pierced with a thorn, let him not find anyone to take it out for him. Paradise is for him who holds the reins of his horse to strive in Allah's Cause, with his hair unkempt and feet covered with dust: if he is appointed in the vanguard, he is perfectly satisfied with his post of guarding, and if he is appointed in the rearward, he accepts his post with satisfaction; (he is so simple and unambiguous that) if he asks for permission he is not permitted, and if he intercedes, his intercession is not accepted."
2. The one who spends his days and nights in prayer and does not see to the well-being of his wife and family.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once asked a companion: "(Is it true) that you fast all day and stand in prayer all night?" The companion replied that the report was indeed true. The Prophet then said: "Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave (it) at other times. Stand up for prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you." - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Hadith 127
3. The man who lacks the permitted and praiseworthy jealousy where his household and family are concerned.
Abdullaah ibn ‘Umar, radhi Allaahu anhu, reported that the Prophet, sall'Allaahu alayhe wa sallam, said:
“Three people will not enter paradise, and Allaah will not look to them on the Day of Judgement: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth.” (Ahmad)
Ad-Dayooth is the man who permits women for whom he is responsible (eg: mother, wife, sister etc.) to engage in illicit sexual relations, or to display their beauty to strange men, thereby stimulating their sexual desires.
4. The man who is miserly and does not voluntarily give to his wife or wives what they have legitimate need for from the wealth that Allaah has provided him.
The evidence for this is the report of 'A'ishah radhi Allaahu anha, in which she said: Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, told the Prophet sall'Allaahu alayhe wa sallam: "Abu Sufyan is a miserly man and does not give me enough for myself and my child, but I take from him without his knowing." He said: "Take what is sufficient for yourself and your child, and no more."
5. The man who is known to be harsh, who beats others.
When both Mu'awiyah and Abu' I-Jaham asked for the hand of Fatimah bint Qays in marriage, she consulted the Prophet,sall'Allaahu alayhe wa sallam, about them. He told her: "As for Abu'l-Jaham, he does not drop his stick from his shoulder and as for Mu'awiyah, he is poor, and has no money.”
6. The one who loves to be known as generous and brave and scholastic and abstemious in his outlook.
Hadith Qudsi 6:
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah sall'Allaahu alayhe wa sallam say:
The first of people against whom judgment will be pronounced on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who died a martyr. He will be brought and Allah will make known to him His favours and he will recognize them. [ The Almighty] will say: And what did you do about them? He will say: I fought for you until I died a martyr. He will say: You have lied - you did but fight that it might be said [of you]: He is courageous. And so it was said. Then he will be ordered to be dragged along on his face until he is cast into Hell-fire. [Another] will be a man who has studied [religious] knowledge and has taught it and who used to recite the Quran. He will be brought and Allah will make known to his His favours and he will recognize them. [The Almighty] will say: And what did you do about them? He will say: I studied [religious] knowledge and I taught it and I recited the Quran for Your sake. He will say: You have lied - you did but study [religious] knowledge that it might be said [of you]: He is learned. And you recited the Quran that it might be said [of you]: He is a reciter. And so it was said. Then he will be ordered to be dragged along on his face until he is cast into Hell-fire. [Another] will be a man whom Allah had made rich and to whom He had given all kinds of wealth. He will be brought and Allah will make known to his His favours and he will recognize them. [The Almighty] will say: And what did you do about them? He will say: I left no path [untrodden] in which You like money to be spent without spending in it for Your sake. He will say: You have lied - you did but do so that it might be said [of you]: He is open-handed. And so it was said. Then he will be ordered to be dragged along on his face until he is cast into Hell-fire.
It was related by Muslim (also by at-Tirmidhi and an-Nasa'i).
7. The one who is rude, who lacks haya' in his manner and in his speech.
The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Al-Haya is from faith, and faith is in Jannah. Obscenity is from rudeness, and rudeness is in the Fire.” [Tirmidhi

[BeTheChange]

Great advice. What if you marry the 'perfect' man and then these issues start appearing in thier character? Maybe not straight away but 3-10 years down the line?

I suppose what am trying to say is one can take preventative measures but we will experience what is destined for us. Allah swa will not burden a soul with more than he/she can bear. So whatever one goes through we can and will get through the trials in sha Allah. Stay calm and keep smiling and find comfort in small blessings. In sha Allah

[ardianto]

Great advice. What if you marry the 'perfect' man and then these issues start appearing in thier character? Maybe not straight away but 3-10 years down the line?

3 years is too long, sis. The hidden bad habit of a man often start to appear just after getting married.

One important thing that the women must know. If a man interested to a woman, then he will try make himself look very good in this woman eyes because he wants to be accepted. He will try to hide his bad habit. In this matter a man even can pretend, and it can make this woman deceived.

In another side, the the biggest weakness of women is, they are too easy to believe what a man say, especially if this man talk in sweet words that can make a woman feel like 'fly to the moon'.

Women are easy to be deceived by a man, but other men not. A man can know if another man lie to a woman. So, it's very important if a woman accompanied by a man in her side who can 'review' the man that propose marriage.

[Scimitar]

and there's no such thing as perfect man in existence today.

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[Snow]

and there's no such thing as perfect man in existence today.

Speak for yourself

Edit; only obviously joking. I can't recall meeting a person male/female that is not flawed in some way.

[ali399]

Good sharing

[MarlaJohnson]

Thanks for Sharing

[Ahmad H]

Great advice. What if you marry the 'perfect' man and then these issues start appearing in thier character? Maybe not straight away but 3-10 years down the line?

I suppose what am trying to say is one can take preventative measures but we will experience what is destined for us.

Hadith no: 90
Narrated: Thawban
“The Messenger of Allah (saw) said: 'Nothing extends one's life span but righteousness, nothing averts the Divine Decree but supplication, and nothing deprives a man of provision but the sin he commits.'” (Daif)
(Ibn Majah)

[ardianto]

Edit : I will move this post into new thread (In Shaa Allah) and expand it into new topic.

Please delete.

[Muhaba]

I don't think anyone has any control over who they end up marrying. You can try your best to find the right person but in the end, you'll marry the one you're destined to. All one can do is to pray to Allah to grant them a righteous spouse and to protect them from someone who will be harmful for their life in this world or the next.

[Lisa921]

Great advice. What if you marry the 'perfect' man and then these issues start appearing in thier character? Maybe not straight away but 3-10 years down the line?

I suppose what am trying to say is one can take preventative measures but we will experience what is destined for us. Allah swa will not burden a soul with more than he/she can bear. So whatever one goes through we can and will get through the trials in sha Allah. Stay calm and keep smiling and find comfort in small blessings. In sha Allah

It can happen to anyone in this dunya but seek allah through patience and prayer to make allah change his heart and show him through your actions the proper way
that is why marriage is half the deen . Such a large part of marriage is helping and leading your spouse religiously. I do not mean literally. Imen lead women in prayer but women can lead men in showing them ways to maintain a connection with allah through dhikr and reminders.

[rhen]

It can happen to anyone in this dunya but seek allah through patience and prayer to make allah change his heart and show him through your actions the proper way
that is why marriage is half the deen . Such a large part of marriage is helping and leading your spouse religiously. I do not mean literally. Imen lead women in prayer but women can lead men in showing them ways to maintain a connection with allah through dhikr and reminders.

Marriage is not obligatory, it is sunnah though.

Personally, I don't like the idea of marriage because I have seen a huge number of terrible cases, even around my family. You just cannot judge a person like that. Also, if you have suffered through so much like I have, meeting someone who can ruin me, would be almost unbearable. I have never had any boyfriend nor anything of that sort, so its not that either. I don't seem to like men very much, nor people in general besides my parents for that matter.

[Lisa921]

Marriage is not obligatory, it is sunnah though.

Personally, I don't like the idea of marriage because I have seen a huge number of terrible cases, even around my family. You just cannot judge a person like that. Also, if you have suffered through so much like I have, meeting someone who can ruin me, would be almost unbearable. I have never had any boyfriend nor anything of that sort, so its not that either. I don't seem to like men very much, nor people in general besides my parents for that matter.

Do not worry
There is someone for everyone
That's my theory. You may find him on the first attempt or stumble by a couple mistakes to find him but I firmly believe their is a soulmate for us all and Allah knows how and when we need to meet him.
Allah knows what our hearts can handle
Your right too. Marriage is not fard.
Marriage is a big blessing though even if it fails. We can still learn something valuable from failure and sharing any time in a halal institution of marriage.

[TahaSaeed]

Marriage is a disaster if it fails