Marrying a second wife and a scholar's advice

[Abdul Rafay]

A question about second marriage and Hazrat Wali’s advice

813 Hall : Sir it’s a very serious matter that inspite of his one wife and 3 children he’s not satisfied. There’s a desire for another wife from years. He can afford the house and expenses right now Alhamdulillah but people consider it very bad or evil. Even a wife cannot tolerate such thing, infact she speaks out some phrases against the law. And sometimes I strongly believe that it’s a revelation from Allah that I should break this ritual and marry again, become a support for an orphan or a widow. But there’s a fear of separation of beautiful children and a loving wife. Then I keep feeling deep down in my heart that I should not revive the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad SAWW from the fear of separation of beautiful children and beautiful wife.

There’s no women Alhamdulillah in my heart due to the remembrance of Allah, whether it happens or not, life, death, hunger, thirst, saturation everything has become equal yet that desire is so strong and doesn’t go away from remembrance, from Asar to Maghrib I keep myself indulged in remembrance just like a fish in water, routine as always is continued.

Answer : About second marriage what you have written that it may be a revelation from Allah, then this perception of yours is wrong, this is a diabolical revelation. Probably you believe that like other sunnahs following this sunah is also recommended, but to follow this sunnah is confined to a very severe condition

فان خفتم الا تعدلوا فواحدۃ

Verily! If you know that you will not be able to be just with more than one wife, instead the rights of a wife will be wasted then limit yourself to one wife.(Al-Quran)

In today’s era, the rights of one wife are not being fulfilled then how will the rights of the second wife be fulfilled. It was only the emaan (faith) of the sahaba (R.A) that they were able to be just and righteous among four wives at a time. Now we are completely self-obsessed, it is not very easy to be just with the rights of a less beautiful wife than with the one who is more beautiful. It is feared that on the Day of Judgment your neck will be trapped.

Hazrat Hakeem ul Ummat (Maulana Ashraf Ali) Thanvi RA was married twice. Someone said to him that by doing two marriages you have opened the gateway to two marriages for your followers, he said no, I have closed the door. There are scales hanging on the door, if any fruit is brought then it doesn’t mean that I balance the fruit in the scales and give it to both wives instead for example if two water melons of similar weights are brought then I cut each water melon into two equal halves and then give it to them because if I do not cut them in half then I fear that one will get the sweeter and the other will get the less sweeter which is against justice, in the same way if I have to give them clothes then I give exactly same to both of them and if I spend six hours with one wife then on other wife’s turn I spend exactly six hours with her looking at the watch etc. Can anyone practice this much justice? Despite of this justice he said getting married twice is not easy, I felt two marriages were so difficult that sometimes I thought of committing suicide.

What you have written that there is a fear of separation of wife and children due to second marriage then it’s not just a fear, in this era this separation is certain, life will become harsh, we have a lot of cases in front of us that even those wives who happily permitted, after wedding established a confrontation against their husbands in alliance with their children.

If according to what you said there is no women in your heart, whether it happens or not is equal, then why is there a strict requirement of wanting a second wife? While your palace of desires (wife) is there, beware of your inner self, it’s cracks are very fine.



[Page 424-426, Tarbiyat e Ashiqan e Khuda PART-2 By: Shaikh ul Arab wal Ajam Hazrat Maulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (ra)]






Original Urdu Pages from: http://www.khanqah.org/books/show/ta...-khuda-part-2#