living with joint family

[fahmida25]

Assalamu Alaikum,

Is there any one please tell me-for a man is it better to keep in a joint family after marriage? If someone wants to living separate from their parents, is that forbidden in Islam? Please share your knowledge according to Qur’an and sahih Hadith…

[greenhill]

I don't believe there are absolute laws in this matter... or even any law at all.

Better or worse is something a law cannot change. If the right 'components' are available, then the circumstances have a good chance of being great, but if the same factors are not available, then the chances are that it will not work out for someone. What do I mean? If you are staying with your husband' parents, and you have a very over-powering mother in law, how good is that going to be for you? And if you do not back down and argue with her, how good is that going to be for your husband?

Weigh the situation in light of how it will affect your lives and decide. Best to be independent, but not cut-off from people. For me, I could live with my mother-in-law, but my wife could not live with my mother (we were both without fathers when we got married). So, we opted to live independently from our parents.. (Now we are both without mothers) ... with children of our own, hmmmm I wonder what decisions they will make when their time comes to get married...


:peace:

[ardianto]

Wa'alaikumsalam.

There's no ayah or hadith that mention "husband and wife must live with the parent" or "husband and wife must not live separated from parent". It's mean there's no prohibition in Islam for married couple to live separated from their parents. But also there's no prohibition for married couple to live with their parents.

Joint family custom that you are talking about is based on cultural, not based from Islam because Islam does not govern where married couple must live.

Which is better for married couple, live in joint family or live in their own house, separated from parents?. The best is live separated from parents because married couple should build their own independent family where they can manage the family without intervention from other people. But of course, not every newly married couple have house or afford to rent a house. If they still haven't afford to have their own home, it's okay if they live with parents. But they must try to collect money to make them can have their own home through buy or rent.

By the way, culture in your place and in my place is different. In South Asia, after getting married, the wife join the husband family, while in Indonesia, after getting married, the husband join the wife family. That's why, in my place if married couple haven't afford to have their own home, usually they live in the wife parent's home. I myself already had a house when getting married, but for first few days I live in my late wife parent's house.

[greenhill]

Interesting comments there br. Ardianto.

Hmmmm I can't say for sure if there was a custom in Malaysia like that, I think it has always been a question of needs as opposed to culture.

Maybe my fellow countrymen could correct me ;D
:peace: