format_quote Originally Posted by
wanttorevert
But I fully believe in Islam, I really do. And I want to revert and seek Allah's forgiveness as soon as possible. I keep getting worried that something will happen and I will die before I have a chance to do so.
From where I sit, it sounds as if you have your answer.
Honestly that is a huge anxiety for me at the moment so I think I need to just jump right into things and learn as I go along (I was worried before about the fact that I can't speak Arabic, I don't know how to pray, etc so I was worried that I will do something wrong and offend Allah or offend other Muslims etc).
Do not worry about not knowing Arabic. That will come, in its own time. Remember, the majority of Muslims in the world are non-Arab.
There is a mosque/masjid (not sure which term is correct) in my area, there's also a Muslim student association at my university. I'm just terrified of getting into these types of social situations :embarrass But if I had a female Muslim friend to help me out then yeah it would definetely make things a lot easier on me..
I said my Shahadah to a sister at Why Islam, via telephone. I then went to the local masjid for Fajr (morning) prayer. It was in mid-December (imagine a Christian reverting just before Christmas, which will show you how important it was to me), so it was dark when I arrived. I think I scared the brother who was unlocking the door out of his wits, as I appeared out of the darkness. And yes, that became very symbolic for me, because my journey into Islam was a journey out of darkness. But after prayer, I said Shahadah a second time, so the brothers present could hear my testimony.
The bottom line is that you can say it alone, in order to declare your intention. Allah (swt) will hear your words and He will know the intention of your heart. But you will immediately feel an overwhelming need to say it in front of witnesses. And that need will overcome your shy nature. And when you say this testimony in front of witnesses, watch their reaction when you have finished. Their faces will mirror the joy you will feel in your heart. You will also have the added benefit that since these individuals witnessed your testimony, they already know you are a new Muslim and in need of guidance. And that will be your first evidences of just how important you are to your new brothers and sisters in Islam. Like you, I took my reversion to Islam very seriously, and my Shahadah was said in the strictest of solemnity. But once said, there was an overwhelming air of joy, as my new brothers came to welcome me into the deen.
Yes, when you are certain you can declare your faith with complete conviction, then say Shahadah aloud. Make that phone call, so there is someone to witness your testimony. And then, go repeat your testimony in front of as many witnesses as possible. And then, you will realize something very special, because once you have made that wonderful and glorious declaration, you will already be forgiven. Alhamdulillah!
It is good for you to learn Arabic, along the way, so you can say your prayers. But if you have no Arabic, then Allah (swt) will still hear your prayers in your native tongue. Do not let Arabic be an obstacle to you. I reverted many years ago and I am just now preparing to start taking Arabic classes.
There are many, many sites that can help you learn how to perform wudu (cleansing before prayer), and how to pray. Visit YouTube and search out videos to help you.
And there are likely even more sites to help you determine your local prayer times. Your local masjid will likely have a Web site with iqamaah (second call to prayer) times. Or you can use a tool such as Islamic Finder. (Apologies, but I am not allowed to post links. You can find it via a Web search.) If you use a mobile phone, there are many apps available to help you there.
I will continue to offer prayers for you. Please keep us updated as to your progress.