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wanttorevert
01-06-2015, 11:32 PM
Hello, I just started thinking about reverting a couple months ago..

My parents are Christian but not really "practicing". I never went to church or read the Bible, I learned bits and pieces of it but I always just considered myself an atheist or claimed that I wasnt sure if I believed in God or not. My family was very dysfunctional and my childhood was not so good (lower class family, my parents divorced when I was 2, my dad raised me. my mom was never around. My Dad was abusive to me, and he sexually abused my sister. I lived in fear of sexual abuse from him). I was bullied throughout my childhood as well so I was just downright miserable. At nine years old I thought to myself that if things got worse I would just kill myself, because I was so unhappy. Quite frankly I was angry at God, wondering why he was making me suffer. I was too young to really understand and I didn't know better. So I was just angry and decided there wasn't a God.

So I just kept wallowing in my own misery as I got older.. I hated myself because of all the abuse, bullying, etc. I went through a period of starving myself, then self-harming. I never cared much about school because I really had no hope for the future. Honestly I just wanted to die. Looking back I wish I had cared more about school. I became really withdrawn, I stopped participating in school at all and became silent. Had few friends. When I graduated high school I really was not prepared at all for university (afterall I had no confidence, no social skills, and I had pretty much skated by in high school). I did try counselling multiple times, by the way, but I always felt embarassed to go for counselling, and I always felt bad because my mom paid for it for me. It didn't help much either. My counsellors told me things like, "You're pretty and smart, so you just need to work harder to make friends and just be happy". I am always being told stuff like this.. just be happy, just smile, just be normal, just relax, it's all in your head, it's your fault you feel this way. But years of abuse and bullying have basically wired me to hate myself.

So I ended up going to university..basically completely unprepared for it. After being silent my whole high school career, having to speak in class would give me panic attacks. Literally just introducing myself would cause serious anxiety for me. I kept trying to blend in and act normal, but I honestly couldn't control the anxiety, which just caused me to be more depressed and suicidal, affecting my ability to focus on schoolwork.

Through all this I just always felt very empty, lost, depressed, etc. Always wondering what was the point of all of this.

So getting to how I got to this point of wanting to revert to Islam- this might sound weird but this is the truth. I started feeling more and more hopeless and started to wonder if God is punishing me. That made me start to think about becoming a Christian, except Christianity never really made sense to me, and I had already thought about Islam in the past because I had a Muslim friend who gave me an English translation of the Qur'an. A couple months ago I was really struggling with an unhealthy situation/obsession that had been causing me pain for over 2 years. but I just couldn't let it go. I was crying all the time, I had nightmares about it, everything reminded me of it. It's embarassing to admit all of this, but it's important to my story.

I ended up praying one night (my own lame attempt at prayer. I did not know how to pray). The next night I prayed again. Only a few days or so right after that, I felt that my heart started opening up more and more to Islam, and I could suddenly let go of that attachment. I did not feel anything at all, I did not feel sad or angry about it. After basically 2 years of not being able to let go on my own, it was suddenly gone from my mind. If I tried to even think about that thing, I could barely even remember it, after being haunted by those memories for a long time. It was like my heart was completely closed off from it, and opened up to Islam.

I started reading the Qur'an, decided to give up pork and drinking, bought some more modest clothing and started distancing myself from anything that might cause me to stray. Obviously that was only a few months ago and I still have a long way to go from here. There is still so much that I need to learn and do, but I'm really glad that my struggle has led me to Islam because I believe that it is the right path. Without this long painful struggle I would probably never have changed my ways and turned to Islam. I would rather struggle and turn to Islam than have had a happier life and not become a Muslim. Plus I have many things to be grateful for, such as good physical health, food, shelter etc. So I am not trying to complain about my life or my mental health issues, I am just trying to figure out how to cope with them

However now that university has started up again I'm slightly afraid that if I put reverting on the back burner for a while, I will stray. Furthermore, I still really need help for my mental health problems. I tried seeing if I can take a medical leave of absence from school for a bit while I try to go for therapy, and work on my mental/emotional wellbeing, but it doesn't seem like a good option because I will be penalized financially. I really cannot just control the anxiety and depression on my own. Pills do not work and I have tried things like trying to think positively or trying breathing exercises. The only thing I think would really help (besides reverting to Islam of course) is if I go to therapy and work through the emotional damage, and try to build up self esteem but that takes time.

I could really use some feedback/ advice, I know that was a long story but I really wanted to explain it all. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
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YusufNoor
01-07-2015, 12:15 AM
:sl:

I'm a little confused as to whether or not you are a Muslim yet. and it's ok to have mental issues caused by your past. they aren't your fault.

the best remedy is to learn more about the Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, and Islam. mental illness runs in my family, but i just don't care. praying 5 times a day can really help! once you concentrate on facing Allah on judgment Day, issues in this life seem less important. it should help. bad things don't happen to because Allah doesn't love you, they may just happen because He does! (keep in mind that Allah isn't actually a he. He is one, unique, so there's no opposite sex for God)

i'd take reverting off the table and do it immediately, if not sooner! that's the best way for Allah to help you. you will find guidance and security in Islam. maybe not from actual Muslims, but from the Din. You may be dealing with mental health issues for the rest of your life. why wait for Allah's assistance? ONLY Allah can make it easier for you.

here's a great Seerah (life if the Prophet):

http://www.pleasantviewschool.com/me...wi%20%28saw%29

Bilal Philips has a great series on the foundations of Islam:



Jamal Zarabozo does a phenomenal job of explaining Al Fatihah:

http://www.kalamullah.com/al-fatihah.html

Mufti Menk of Zimbabwe is a very gifted speaker. you can also write to him:



let me know when you're finished. i have more! :alright:

May Allah make it easy on you and may He guide you!

ma salama
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Daris
01-07-2015, 05:16 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by wanttorevert
I could really use some feedback/ advice,
First of all, put all of those suicidal thoughts aside. You have great and amazing worth to those who know you and love you, so please do not bring pain into their lives. I know, there are times when problems in our lives seem insurmountable, but please hear me when I say those problems are all temporary. And temporary problems never require permanent solutions.

Secondly, keep praying! But as you continue to pray, remember to listen. God always seems to speak in a soft voice, so concentrate on hearing what He has to say to you. And do not get discouraged, because you may not hear what you want to hear, and you may not hear it as quickly as you hoped. Just remain faithful to your prayers, and you will hear God helping you, and directing you.

Sura 40, Aya 60 of the Holy Qur'an says, "And your Lord says" 'Call on Me: I will answer your prayer:'"

Have you checked to see if your university has a Muslim Student Association (MSA)? This can be an excellent way to meet other Muslim students, and it never hurts to have more friends on campus. Not only would you be making new friends, but you would be making new Muslim friends, who will likely be able to help you sort out some of the tangles and snarls in your life, and help you make your journey to Islam.

It sounds to me as if you are very open to the idea of reverting to Islam. I am not going to push you, one way or the other, because the choices we make in our lives with respect to faith are deeply personal. But if you already feel Islam is the best choice you can make in your life, then why not move forward with that choice? I once served as a Christian minister, but it wasn't until I said my Shahadah that I felt I was finally achieving a proper balance in my life. I am blessed to say I've always known God's love for me, but I had never before known the breadth and depth of that love.

I look at the username you chose to use for this forum and I am thinking that if you want to revert, then there is no time like the present.

I hope you will update this thread, so we can stay informed with how you are doing. I will offer prayer for you, asking that you receive the guidance you seek. Please, let me know how you are getting on, OK?
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wanttorevert
01-13-2015, 04:54 AM
Thank you YusufNoor for the advice and helpful links. I haven't checked them all out yet but you're right that focusing on Allah and reverting etc will help me with my issues. Daris I want to thank you as well.


I have been going back and forth in my head about reverting, thinking, well I need to give myself time to fully research Islam, etc before I "officially revert" I guess. It has only been a few months since I first started to feel like I wanted to revert, and admittedly I haven't finished reading the whole Qur'an yet (I am almost finished though). But I fully believe in Islam, I really do. And I want to revert and seek Allah's forgiveness as soon as possible. I keep getting worried that something will happen and I will die before I have a chance to do so.

Honestly that is a huge anxiety for me at the moment so I think I need to just jump right into things and learn as I go along (I was worried before about the fact that I can't speak Arabic, I don't know how to pray, etc so I was worried that I will do something wrong and offend Allah or offend other Muslims etc).

There is a mosque/masjid (not sure which term is correct) in my area, there's also a Muslim student association at my university. I'm just terrified of getting into these types of social situations :embarrass But if I had a female Muslim friend to help me out then yeah it would definetely make things a lot easier on me..

I'm assuming the most important things to do right now to really seek Allah's forgiveness is to take my shahada and to start praying 5x a day. I have read that I can simply say the shahada to myself? also I have found a site for converts where you can call them and they help you say it in Arabic. Do you think that this is ok?

Is it necessary to say the prayers in Arabic? If you have any link to a guide on how and when to pray that would really help.
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Daris
01-15-2015, 12:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by wanttorevert
But I fully believe in Islam, I really do. And I want to revert and seek Allah's forgiveness as soon as possible. I keep getting worried that something will happen and I will die before I have a chance to do so.
From where I sit, it sounds as if you have your answer.

Honestly that is a huge anxiety for me at the moment so I think I need to just jump right into things and learn as I go along (I was worried before about the fact that I can't speak Arabic, I don't know how to pray, etc so I was worried that I will do something wrong and offend Allah or offend other Muslims etc).
Do not worry about not knowing Arabic. That will come, in its own time. Remember, the majority of Muslims in the world are non-Arab.

There is a mosque/masjid (not sure which term is correct) in my area, there's also a Muslim student association at my university. I'm just terrified of getting into these types of social situations :embarrass But if I had a female Muslim friend to help me out then yeah it would definetely make things a lot easier on me..
I said my Shahadah to a sister at Why Islam, via telephone. I then went to the local masjid for Fajr (morning) prayer. It was in mid-December (imagine a Christian reverting just before Christmas, which will show you how important it was to me), so it was dark when I arrived. I think I scared the brother who was unlocking the door out of his wits, as I appeared out of the darkness. And yes, that became very symbolic for me, because my journey into Islam was a journey out of darkness. But after prayer, I said Shahadah a second time, so the brothers present could hear my testimony.

The bottom line is that you can say it alone, in order to declare your intention. Allah (swt) will hear your words and He will know the intention of your heart. But you will immediately feel an overwhelming need to say it in front of witnesses. And that need will overcome your shy nature. And when you say this testimony in front of witnesses, watch their reaction when you have finished. Their faces will mirror the joy you will feel in your heart. You will also have the added benefit that since these individuals witnessed your testimony, they already know you are a new Muslim and in need of guidance. And that will be your first evidences of just how important you are to your new brothers and sisters in Islam. Like you, I took my reversion to Islam very seriously, and my Shahadah was said in the strictest of solemnity. But once said, there was an overwhelming air of joy, as my new brothers came to welcome me into the deen.

Yes, when you are certain you can declare your faith with complete conviction, then say Shahadah aloud. Make that phone call, so there is someone to witness your testimony. And then, go repeat your testimony in front of as many witnesses as possible. And then, you will realize something very special, because once you have made that wonderful and glorious declaration, you will already be forgiven. Alhamdulillah!

It is good for you to learn Arabic, along the way, so you can say your prayers. But if you have no Arabic, then Allah (swt) will still hear your prayers in your native tongue. Do not let Arabic be an obstacle to you. I reverted many years ago and I am just now preparing to start taking Arabic classes.

There are many, many sites that can help you learn how to perform wudu (cleansing before prayer), and how to pray. Visit YouTube and search out videos to help you.

And there are likely even more sites to help you determine your local prayer times. Your local masjid will likely have a Web site with iqamaah (second call to prayer) times. Or you can use a tool such as Islamic Finder. (Apologies, but I am not allowed to post links. You can find it via a Web search.) If you use a mobile phone, there are many apps available to help you there.

I will continue to offer prayers for you. Please keep us updated as to your progress.
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CalmPassenger
03-11-2015, 05:50 PM
Let me share my experience i believe it might help you. When i was creating my first person shooting game. Tomorrow was our final day for submission game DVD. Everything was working fine. I just ask my class fellow to check this out and suddenly he start saying "Never Give up, Never Surrender" I wonder why he is telling me that. In short we got a problem that when game start and ends. We continuously hear "Never Give up Never surrender". I check codes, sound data and all other things, Why in a world i am having this issue. My class fellows tried at their best to solve this issue but we failed and its already late night and its time to sleep. (We are allowed to stay late night in labs) In short i delete all audio and video data from my hard drive. When i run the codes. Still i hear "Never give up Never surrender" Now i stunned becoz there is no way that audio file should be there. I remove every thing from my hard drive. But still i hear that thing(when i execute codes within UDK). I left the lab. I went to my room. I ask help from God. I know there are no accidents every thing already plan... Its up to us how we learn and how we play our role in that situation. In short i came back and restart the codes. You know its working. Absolutely fine. No errors.

So no matter what situation i am in. I always say loudly. Never Give up Never surrender. I never fail in my life. Because I have a beautiful Friend who is always there to help me. Thats why i love my God. My dear brother, Its easy to give up. Once u give up its over. nothing left. But Why not we go for adventure. Let's take this challenge and try our best to solve this puzzle. I know its easy to say but hard to act. But Please have a trust on God. Inshallah every thing is going to be alright.
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Snow
03-11-2015, 06:12 PM
Welcome.

I am sad to hear about your past but remember that it was nothing you could control.
What you can control (somewhat) is your future and I am glad to hear that you seem to be in a better place.

One thing I notice is that you seem to be in such a hurry.
Don't worry about things so much. Just take your time to learn how to pray and so on.


Here are free ebooks: http://www.kalamullah.com/new-muslims.html

I had the link at the "new muslims" section, but they have many sections for different topics.
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Lisa921
05-18-2015, 12:32 AM
I'm sorry to hear about your childhood. I think you should not delay reverting .it will only make things easier for you if you are serious in the faith
May Allah guide you.
Ameen
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muslimrose
07-09-2015, 04:58 PM
My dear sister i too have mental health issues and i understand your pain. i am new here so im finding my way round..i pray that Allaah will bring you ease ameen
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crimsontide06
07-09-2015, 10:58 PM
I hope these will benefit you.
1. How to pray https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F78eFQ_Nw-Y
http://www.iman.co.nz/ed/pray.php
http://www.makedua.com/
2. https://www.youtube.com/user/YasminMogahedOnline/videos shes a good speaker
3. http://www.islamtomorrow.com/downloads/islam_is.pdf
4. http://muslimvillage.com/
5. http://hadithoftheday.com/
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umairlooms
07-16-2015, 11:30 AM
immerse yourself in an obsession, a hobby , something new etc
why not religion?
islamic history, past, islamic issues etc
anything really
Join a charity, something
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