Rhymes and Poems by StrivingforDeen

[The-Deist]

Assalamu alaikum wa rahamtullahi wa barakatuh.
I hope all of you are well in shaa Allah.

I will post here all of my "writings" so it's more simple to find them in one thread :D

JazakAllahu Khair :D

[strivingobserver98]

:wa:

Look forward to them! :)

[The-Deist]

:wa:

Look forward to them! :)

in shaa Allah.

[Scimitar]

The wind to my back
waves to the oars
seeds in the sack
we set sail, on course

sailing the seas, all seven
note those starry skies
lamps alight the heavens
or so sayeth the wise

arise, oh men of faith
good company ye be
salute salute the captain
thank Allah the almighty

(Sorry for the hijack... madr this one up on the spot so forgive me if its not to your standards or taste... I just wanted to read a poem! And there were none...yet)

Scimi

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[The-Deist]

What can save me from the punisment of the grave?
It doesn't matter if you were in this Dunya weak or brave.

In your grave you only have you deeds.
I don't want to know what a bad man sees.

He sees blazing fire.
Never do the Angles get tired (of punishing).

It is so cold and dark.
That you would give so much for just a spark.

A spark of light.
While your heart is so full of fright.

This dunya was a test.
To see who's love for Allah (swt) was the greatest.

Do you only now see (in the grave).
What the Aakhirah of a bad person can be?

Is this the time you finally repent.
Only in badness you spent.

Never did you thank Allah (swt) for your health.
And he blessed you with wealth.

Couldn't you just be grateful.
While you had your stomach so full.

You never fed the poor (didn't give Zakat).
You were only greedy for more.

Now you will see your deeds.
And 2 angels shall you beseech.

So now the time has come.
And you will see what you have done (Good deeds or bad.)

And Allah knows best.

May Allah (swt) protect all of us from all form of punishment.
Aameen.

Remember to read Surah Mulk.

[The-Deist]

The wind to my back
waves to the oars
seeds in the sack
we set sail, on course

sailing the seas, all seven
note those starry skies
lamps alight the heavens
or so sayeth the wise

arise, oh men of faith
good company ye be
salute salute the captain
thank Allah the almighty

(Sorry for the hijack... madr this one up on the spot so forgive me if its not to your standards or taste... I just wanted to read a poem! And there were none...yet)

Scimi

It's okay mate :D. Now I have posted one. Yeah you can put your own ones here too :D

[The-Deist]

This world is so dark.
Looking for a light.

Imagining myself in a place so bright.
Where you will not feel any fright.

Just rivers flowing.
Faces glowing.

Is this Paradise?
I can't believe my very own eyes.

There will be no tyranny.
That's what I wanted this world to be.

Imagine being there.
No worries, no fear.

A place which no heart has imagined.
You ask yourself is it Paradise where I landed?

A place so beautiful.
Compared to it the world was pitiful.

You smell the smell of musk.
You tell yourself this is enough.

But your Lord is ever merciful.
His reward is ever plentiful.

This is Paradise.
This is the true grand prize.

And Allah (swt) knows best.

Hope you enjoyed it :D

Give your feedback (so we can improve :D ).

JazakAllahu Khair :D

[The-Deist]

Remember you can give critique :D

[Scimitar]

poetry is something I find very hard to critique because it can be read in many ways, with many pauses for effect, etc - so one reading will not reflect anothers.

hence, for me, poetry is the hardest literary work to critique. Good effort nevertheless bro, keep 'em coming.

Scimi

[The-Deist]

poetry is something I find very hard to critique because it can be read in many ways, with many pauses for effect, etc - so one reading will not reflect anothers.

hence, for me, poetry is the hardest literary work to critique. Good effort nevertheless bro, keep 'em coming.

Scimi

JazakAllahu Khair. I just woke up (I'm sick I get tired) and this made me smile :D.

Make dua for me brother :D

[Simply_Logical]

very nice Masha'Allah :)

[The-Deist]

very nice Masha'Allah :)

Your ones too mashaAllah TabarakaAllah :D

[The-Deist]

Assalamu alaikum wa rahamtullahi wa barakatuh
I hope all of you are well in shaa Allah.

Can you see the beauty of the sky?
See a bird tweak and fly?

Can you see the clouds?
The ones that make the earth spring

Go out and just spread a wing.
Then again listen to the birds sing.

Do you remember how you looked at the sky?
While you would wonder upon the horizon so abundantly.

Can you see the beauty?
The beauty of nature.

The agriculture.
Apperciate it.

Look deep at the sea.
See fishes swimming by.

So many forests full of trees.
Such a experience

This is life.


Remember to give critique

JazakAllahu Khair

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum Striving,

(smile) I think you have potential; keep it up! Poetry can be rhyming or not. It can also play on rhythms. And it can use evocative images. (smile) For me, the success of a poem is whether it can evoke a feeling or an understanding in the reader. And the strength of what is evoked attests to the power of the poem. (smile) I remember reading a poem about daffodils as a teenager ( http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174790 ). And I remember feeling the beauty and peacefulness of the scene this poem described. So for me, this is a great poem.

As I have grown, I have found that poems that perhaps meant less for me when I was young, speak more to me now. You see, who the reader is, affects the enjoyment of the poem, too. (smile) So one person may love a poem, while another person may not.

(smile) So keep on practising your writing. You are young; inshAllah, you will have plenty of time to experiment and improve. (smile) Improving is something we should be trying to do our whole lives, I think. (smile) I was listening to a radio program about a famous Canadian painter. And apparently, she did her best work in her sixties and seventies, as I recall.

So overall, my feedback is: nice efforts. Keep on going. I'd suggest you continue to look for images and sounds that resonate with people. And that you put perhaps a little more emphasis on the rhythms of your poems. There can be different rhythms that work; you'll need to experiment with them. You could try counting the number of syllables that you use per line, for instance, and look for patterns. Or you can have a rhythm, and then break it to bring attention to something, perhaps. (smile) To get an idea of how rhythm affects the impact of what is said, you might want to consider the Qur'an in Arabic. It's rhythms are deep and powerful like swells in the ocean.

(smile) Reading a variety of good poems, and studying why they have an impact on you, might also give you some ideas. As well as reading up on how to write good poems (there are books out there; perhaps you could find one that speaks to you?).

Anyway, keep up the good work!

On another point: I'm sorry to hear you have been unwell; are you better now? I will make du'a for you, inshAllah.

May Allah, the Loving, Help you in the trials in this life, and Help you to grow in ways that are pleasing to Him.

[The-Deist]

Going back to all those memories.
Looking like stars.

So beautiful and precious but yet so far.
Could I go back to the past and change it all?
I feel like I could on my knees fall.

For a while I was glad.
But in the end it was bad.

I thought I had made the right decision.
But now my heart has been broken with precision.

How I wonder.
Where are those stars?

I tryied to reach for them.
But they are so far.

JazakAllahu Khair.

Give feedback in shaa Allah :D

[The-Deist]

Could I not see how weak I have grown?
On this face has not a tear been flown.

A tear that would flow.
And give it a light that will glow.

Have I not cryied during my nights?
With my nafs I go trough all these fights.

Oh do I miss the feeling.
Of my heart healing.

The tears giving live to it again.
As if it was dead land.

Oh has my heart been sealed?
I am waiting for the day my heart will be healed.

Healed from a sickness.
The sickness of my heart.

Will it ever break apart?
Something that will hit it like a dart.

Oh has my heart been sealed?
Will it ever be healed?

[MuslimOfAmerica]

Ma Sha Allah so many creative minds. These poems are all nice. May Allah grant us all Jannah

[The-Deist]

Be grateful to your Lord

Do not talk to the poor in a way so bold.

I think we should treat everyone with equality, that's the problem in this world it bothers me.

When will the poor have more cash, the middle east has turned to ash.

When will we open our eyes and realize it's the arrogant we should despise.

I see it with my own eyes, this world is run with lies.

[The-Deist]

We will all face death, I wonder what I will see when I take my last breath.

This earth has been corrupted since my birth.

I wonder how many babies are born, into a land worn and torn.

We have to unite with each other, people are dying and you can't even bother?

Black or white we have to all unite tonight, and do what's right.

[Serinity]

The life of this world decieved you,
In the bolt of lightning and sin you strove,
for a fading dunya,
the shattering pieces of glasses,
amist the ashes, burnt to frickled trash,
you were partying and striking your fists,
hoping for a bargain,
and in your mind you were loved,
and the people roared and greeted you, pleaded you,
The ego, the lust, the arrogance, and pride,
took flight in a shape of snakes,
all 4 welded together, forth you went,
In deep sorrow you were sowed,
as flakes twinkle in the winter,
forever flourished, seeped,
the line of light,
Pleading you, fleeing you.

Serinity

[The-Deist]

The life of this world decieved you,
In the bolt of lightning and sin you strove,
for a fading dunya,
the shattering pieces of glasses,
amist the ashes, burnt to frickled trash,
you were partying and striking your fists,
hoping for a bargain,
and in your mind you were loved,
and the people roared and greeted you, pleaded you,
The ego, the lust, the arrogance, and pride,
took flight in a shape of snakes,
all 4 welded together, forth you went,
In deep sorrow you were sowed,
as flakes twinkle in the winter,
forever flourished, seeped,
the line of light,
Pleading you, fleeing you.

Serinity

You can make your own thread.

Invaders are not allowed.

[Serinity]

You can make your own thread.

Invaders are not allowed.

The invaders from the galaxy,
striving for insanity!
The spaceships smashed into vanity!
crushed with a lightsaber, burnt with blazing paper.
The toilet got flushed, now on to the show.
wow, don't crouch, ouch!

Ok.. I won't post.

[The-Deist]

Is it not strange, we won't change.

Uniting the world under one nation, no need for immigration.

This world is a hell, no need to tell.

Seein children die on TV it really hurts me.

Cops are unjust who can we trust? As hearts start to rust, a new page is a must.

Murders with guns, rivalries with Crips and Bloods.

The society will be what it will be, the change starts from YOU always stay true.

[Umm Abed]

Your first few poems were of really good. Thats the high standards I was talking about that you had, StrivingforDeen.

[~ Sabr ~]

Lol, so much lol in this thread.

You say you are not Muslim, yet you use Islamic phrase?

:lol:

[The-Deist]

Lol, so much lol in this thread.

You say you are not Muslim, yet you use Islamic phrase?

:lol:

I made some of these poems as a Muslim.

[~ Sabr ~]

Oh, so you are an apostate? :astagfiru that's even worse as being a non Muslim in the first place...

Clever you :thumbs_up

[The-Deist]

Oh, so you are an apostate? :astagfiru that's even worse as being a non Muslim in the first place...

Clever you :thumbs_up

Yes I am, long story.

[~ Sabr ~]

SubhaanAllaah, I don't want to hear it. You didn't trust in Allaah. You succumbed to the Shaytaan, khalaas.

[The-Deist]

SubhaanAllaah, I don't want to hear it. You didn't trust in Allaah. You succumbed to the Shaytaan, khalaas.

You're making assumptions there.

[~ Sabr ~]

You're making assumptions there.

Nah. If you left Islam, that's it. Shaytaan won.

[The-Deist]

....

[Umm Abed]

Yes I am, long story.

May Allah guide you to the beauty of Islam, and open your heart to the spiritual noor of deenul Islam, which is the only success, ameen! I pray that for you.