No!. Women are not fitnah.

There is an interesting comment about Muslim men that written by a non-Muslim woman which she describes Muslim men as "weak in controlling their desire for women, but instead of admit it they prefer to blame the women". Is it right?.

This non-Muslim woman made a mistake through generalize the Muslim men. But I can understand why she made a comment like this. in fact, there are many Muslim men who are weak in controlling their desire for women. I can see it in this forum too. Just notice how many thread about lowering gaze?.

Actually lowering the gaze is not something that need to be discussed often if the men are good in controlling desire, controlling gaze. Lowering gaze is something that automatically will be done by a man who is good in controlling desire without other people need to remind him.

Indeed, there are many Muslim men who still weak in controlling their desire for women, and the cause is because they blame the women. Yes, they believe that women are fitnah for men.

But, are women really fitnah for men?.

When I was kid older people taught me about desires which men usually have. Desire for wealth, desire for power (authority), desire for woman. They taught me to be able to control these desires because if I could not control, then these desire would cause a fitnah for me. My Islamic teachers taught me the same thing too, and it made me understand why Rasulullah (saw) warned men about desire for women.

Yes, Rasulullah (saw) actually was talking about man's desire for woman that could cause fitnah, not describing women as the cause of fitnah. Unfortunately there are Muslims who misunderstand it and assume that women are created as fitnah for men.

Are women fitnah?.

As Muslims we are commanded to avoid fitnah. Then, if women are fitnah, why did Rasulullah (saw) ordered men to marry women?. Why didn't Rasulullah (saw) ordered men to not marry women as a way to avoid fitnah?.

Women are not fitnah. This what we must teach to the boys.

I notice, there is difference between boys which taught that desire for women could cause fitnah if this is uncontrolled, and the boys which taught that women are fitnah. The boys which taught that desire for women could cause fitnah will learn to control their desire and will have respect on women. While the boys which taught that women are fitnah will not able to control their desire because they never learn and train themselves for it. As compensation of their inability of controlling desire they will blame women and finally will have mysogynistic view on women.

So, we should stop teach the boys that women are fitnah. We should teach them about controlling desires. And we should train them to have ability of self-introspection and not easy to blame the other for their own fault.

BeTheChange said:

The common complaint women have about men is the treatment towards women whether that's wives, sisters, mothers etc - am not sure what the common complaint is for men (as i have listened and experienced the world from a woman's perspective).

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Common complaints about wives.

- Exaggerative jealousy. There are wives who suspect their husbands have affair with other women although actually their husbands don't do this. It makes the husband uncomfortable because feel accused.

- Not willing to understand the husband difficulty. There are wives who want their husband to be success, to be able to give what they want. But those wives are not willing to understand difficulties that their husband faced in realize what they require.

- Not appreciate what the husbands have done for them. There are husbands who work hard to fulfill their responsibilities toward wives. But their wives still complain because do not feel satisfied with what their husband give for them.

- Compete with other women. When other women have new furniture, they want new furniture too. When other women have expensive handbags, they want to have expensive handbags too. And they force their husbands to buy what they want.

- Comparing the husband with another man. In Example, "Look at mister Fulan!. He already becomes president director. He is rich. He can gives anything to his wife. But you?. You are just low level employee with low income!". Actually this is what the most painful for husband.

Of course not every wife (woman) is like this. But I hope it can make the sisters here realize about what they should not do toward their husbands.

May Allah swa help us restore our faith and work together as a body/unit/ummah Ameen

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Ameen.

I have read the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5096; Muslim, 2740.

My question is: how can I save myself from this temptation, when I see it everywhere – in the street, on TV, on the internet, at work…?.

[FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]Praise be to Allaah. Allaah has created man in a world of trials and tests, and He has made Paradise the abode of His friends and beloved ones, who preferred His pleasure over their own and preferred obedience to Him over their physical comfort. And He has made Hell the abode of those among His slaves who disobey Him and preferred their own whims and desires to the pleasure of their Lord. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Such is the Paradise which We shall give as an inheritance to those of Our slaves who have been Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”
[Maryam 19:63]

“But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires and lusts.
Verily, Paradise will be his abode”
[al-Naaz’i’aat 79:40-41]

And He says concerning the people of Hell (interpretation of the meaning):

“Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have given up As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell”
[Maryam 19:59]

And He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“That shall be their recompense, Hell; because they disbelieved and took My Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and My Messengers by way of jest and mockery”
[al-Kahf 18:106]

“Then for him who transgressed all bounds, (in disbelief, oppression and evil deeds of disobedience to Allaah).
And preferred the life of this world (by following his evil desires and lusts),
Verily, his abode will be Hell-fire”
[al-Naazi’aat 79:37-39]

So the Muslim must strive to worship Allaah and keep away from that which angers Allaah, for Allaah will not cause the reward the one who does good to be lost:

“As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths (i.e. Allaah’s religion — Islamic Monotheism). And verily, Allaah is with the Muhsinoon (good-doers)”
[al-‘Ankaboot 29:69 – interpretation of the meaning]

One of the fitnahs (temptations) with which we are tested is the fitnah of women, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.” There follow some of the methods by which we can avoid this temptation. We ask Allaah to set the affairs of the Muslims straight.

1 – Faith in Allaah.
Faith in Allaah and fear of Allaah provide a safety valve and protect a person against committing haraam actions and following his own whims and desires.

If the believer becomes aware that Allaah is always watching and if he ponders the meanings of His names and attributes, such as the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that will generate fear of Him in secret and in public, and will put a stop to disobedience towards Allaah, and will reduce the strength of desire that leads many people to commit haraam actions.

2 – Lowering the gaze and avoiding looking at haraam things
The gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which then lead to ideas and then to desires, then to will and resolve, and then inevitably to doing haraam things. Think about the meaning of this verse which makes a connection between the first steps towards haraam and the end result. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do”
[al-Noor 24:30]

Ibn Katheer said: “This is a command from Allaah to His believing slaves, to lower their gaze and avoid looking at that which is forbidden to them so that they only look at that which they are permitted to look at. If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something haraam, he should turn his gaze away from it quickly.

3 – Warding off evil thoughts
Bad thoughts pose a danger to the heart… If a person dwells on them and does not push them away, they will develop into an idea, then into will and resolve, then this will inevitably lead to haraam actions. Beware of dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do is to ward them off and crowd them out with good thoughts. The treatment, then, is to ward off these passing thoughts and keep yourself busy with beneficial thoughts.

4 – Marriage
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065.

5 – Fasting for those who cannot afford to get married
– because of the hadeeth quoted above, in which it says, “…and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065.

Al-Qurtubi said:
The less a person eats, the weaker his desire becomes, and the weaker his desire is, the less sins he commits.

6 – Keeping away from bad companions.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look at who he takes as a close friend.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 8433; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 4046.

7 – Keeping away from places of temptation.
It is obvious that we are living in a society that is filled with temptation – media of all types, magazines, flirting in the marketplaces, satellite TV, the internet, etc… So you have to flee from all of these in order to keep your religious commitment sound.

8 – Do not make your houses graves.
Make your house a reminder of obedience, not of sin. If a room is connected to sin for example, that will make a person commit sin repeatedly, because every time he enters that room he will remember the sin and may be provoked to commit the sin again. So he should make his room and his house a reminder of obedience to Allaah, so when he enters he sees the Mus-haf which he reads, and he remembers praying qiyaam al-layl for Allaah, and the regular Sunnah prayers that he offers in this room. Doing a lot of acts of worship in your house will make a connection in your mind between the house and doing good deeds, so you will do more and will think less of sin, and the calls of desire will grow less.

9 – Trying to make the most of your time in worshipping and obeying Allaah.
Time is one of the great blessings that Allaah has bestowed upon His slaves, but there are many who are not making the most of it. It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Two blessings which many people do not make the most of: good health and spare time.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6412.
See also question no. 3234.

10 – Remembering the blessings of the Hereafter.
Particularly appropriate in this context is remembering al-hoor al-‘iyn and their attributes, whom Allaah has prepared for those who are patient and steadfast in avoiding sin. This can help the Muslim to look at these transient haraam pleasures which only lead to regret and loss.
We ask Allaah to help us to avoid temptation, both obvious and hidden. Praise be to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds.

http://islamqa.info/en/33651

Scimi
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The historical champion of Islam in Andalusia, Muhyiddin Ibn Arabi mentions that Muhammad (peace be upon him and his family) said that 3 things were very dear to him: women, perfume and prayer.

There is nothing in Islam save respect of women. Muhammad (peace be upon him and his family) said the best man was he who treats his wife the best.

Assalaamu alaikum,


It was quoted that Allah Says: (Qur'an 79:40)


وَأَمَّا مَنْ خَافَ مَقَامَ رَبِّهِ وَنَهَى النَّفْسَ عَنِ الْهَوَىٰ


The last word (in blue) is: al-hawaa.

What are al-hawaa? This is from a root whose original meaning has to do with falling, and, as in English, extends to falling for... (smile) such as falling for someone or something. It therefore is not surprising that this root yields words with meanings of love, affection, desire, inclination, wish, liking, bent, craving and fancy.

According to the nice folks at http://corpus.quran.com , words from this root occur 38 times in the Qur'an, including 79:40.

There are many translations of this ayah. I personally feel that Muhammad Asad's comes the closest to capturing the intent of the Divine Text. If you read the context of this ayah, you may see what I mean. I have therefore posted translations of ayat 34-41. (smile) Of course, if you read the whole Qur'an, you'll get even more context, but for the purposes of this comment, I will restrict myself to these ayat.


And so, when the great, overwhelming event [of resurrection] comes to pass - 34

on that Day man will [clearly] remember all that he has ever wrought; 35

and the blazing fire [of hell] will be laid open before all who [are destined to] see it. 36

For, unto him who shall have transgressed the bounds of what is right, 37

and preferred the life of this world [to the good of his soul], 38

that blazing fire will truly be the goal! 39

But unto him who shall have stood in fear of his Sustainer's Presence, and held back his inner self from base desires, 40

paradise will truly be the goal! 41


From the context, then, as well as the indications from the root of the word, collapsing the meaning of al-hawaa into the more restricted sense of the English word “lusts” (as some people do) is obviously not optimal. Human beings, if they are to struggle to become truly Muslim (of those who surrender their will to God's), are supposed to be restraining themselves in much broader terms. We must try to restrain our greed, our envy, our laziness, our sexual desires, our arrogance... there are an awful lot of weaknesses that we need to restrain!

In this context, it seem to me, al-hawaa would be better understood as referring to all the whims and impulses that the human nafs is prone to.

There is also much said about ahadith such as the following:


Usamah bin Zaid (May Allah be pleased with them) reported:


The Prophet (ﷺ)said, "I am not leaving behind me a more harmful trial for men than women".


[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].


وعنأسامة بن زيد رضي الله عنهما عن النبي صلىالله عليه وسلم قال‏:‏‏"‏ماتركت بعدي فتنة هي أضر على الرجال منالنساء‏"‏‏(‏‏(‏متفقعليه‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏


[TABLE="width: 820"]
[TR]
[TD="width: 395"] Arabic/English book reference[/TD]
[TD="width: 385"] : Book 1, Hadith 288[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]




So what is the meaning of the Arabic word fitnah (which I have highlighted in red)? A pondering of the entries in Lane's Lexicon (as well as a general “feel” from the Qur'an as a whole) leads me to surmise that the best understanding of this word resides in the following sentence: A difficult test whereby a person's true self can be distinguished, where the good and the bad are made clear.

(smile) And this is a summary! Basically, I believe that what this hadith is saying is that for men, the true test of their mettle is how they behave with women. (smile) Now some people try to collapse this as meaning in a purely sexual sense, but I think this is too limited. Because relations between men and women are about a lot more than just sex.

We women are less physically strong, in general. We are also more vulnerable, especially when we are pregnant or nursing. We have natures that are more geared to getting on with other people, to being nurturing, gentle. Men, by nature, are physically stronger and more geared towards hunting and fighting against predators.

Allah has Decreed that men should use their strength, predatory and combative abilities in the protection of women... but of course, there is always the temptation for men to use these abilities to use and harm women. How tempting it can be to bully someone weaker than oneself! How tempting to use tactics to prey on women for fleeting entertainment or for gain! How tempting to loose the winds of war and break all the social conventions that usually apply (and in which women and children are often the ones who will be harmed the most)!

Because women are more vulnerable (generally), it can seem so easy to use them for money, fame, pleasure, work (that is, to benefit from their hard work so that a man can be lazy), children...

Ardianto has stated that he was taught by his Islamic teachers that the key element to consider is that we ourselves need to work on restraining ourselves. However, (smile) there is a human tendency is to look to blame anyone and anything except ourselves for our wrongdoing. And so, is it surprising that many people like to interpret Revelation and Prophetic guidance in such a way that casts the responsibility for their wrongdoing on another, perhaps weaker, party?

Yes, I believe that women are the greatest source of testing for men. But mostly because we are the potential source of so many benefits, and because we are often more vulnerable than men.

O men! Just as you must be especially aware of the temptations of taking advantage of the poor, the weak, the orphans and the foreigners in your midst, so must you resist the temptation to take advantage of women.

Restrain yourselves. Prove yourselves of those that are real men who are good and just and pure. Protect yourselves from the harm that you inflict on your own selves through your weaknesses.


So that you may enter Paradise.


May Allah, the Bringer of Judgment, have Mercy on us all (men and women), and Help us to restrain ourselves and therefore be of those who may enter Paradise.

"Women were created to drag the men fall into sin"
"Bro!, why you say like this?. Don't you have mother and sister?"
"I have mother, I have sister. But Rasulullah said that women are fitnah!"

This is what I found in one Islamic site, few years ago. Then I found few similar statements in some other Islamic sites. This is what would be happen if a boy was taught that women are fitnah. He would assume that women were created to tempt the men. Different than boy who was taught that what could become the fitnah is the man's lust for woman. He would not accuse the women like that, but would try to control his lust.

I made this thread to clarify this misunderstanding, especially because I found, there are few brothers here who believe that women were created to drag the men fall into fitnah. Someone gave example, there was a Muslim man who fell in love with a non-Muslim woman, then he left Islam and convert to religion of that woman. Is it a proof that women are fitnah?.

I don't know wether the story above was true or not. But, I will tell a true story. In 90's my close friend was attracted to a non-Muslim woman. That woman was attractive. I know it because my friend introduced her to me. My friend fell in love with her. But later that woman told my friend that if he wanted to marry her, he should be convert to her religion. Then?. My friend chose to leave that woman. Now my friend has married with a Muslim woman and lives happily with his wife and children. My friend could control his desire for that woman. That's why he saved from apostasy.

And how about few female Muslim celebrities in my country who left Islam because they married non-Muslim men?. Why don't people say that men are fitnah for women?.

Muhammad (peace be upon him and his family) did say those things apparently against women because people tend to choose women over Allah Azza Wa Jall. As we know from the Hadith of Umar (may Allah be well pleased with him), if you migrate for Allah, it's different from one who migrated for a woman to marry.

There is not much good to expect from one who has a negative view on women. There is nothing in Islam save respect of women. Muhammad (peace be upon him and his family) said the best Muslim was the one who treats his wife the best. The Hijab guards one's beauty. That is its purpose. This helps to understand the great status women enjoy in Islam. Women are pleasing to Allah Almighty and to His beloved, Muhammad, peace be upon him and his family.