format_quote Originally Posted by
new2010
That's the point. I think one who gets asked about a certain person you intend to marry, needs the understanding of what you're are seeking for. For instance you want to know about her religiosity and ask a person about her about that, who doesn't have that understanding of religiosity. So he'll answer, yes of course she's religious she wears hijab, but he doesn't consider more important things, as akhlaq etc. Do I have a good akhlaq? How can I know?
Unfortunately no decision to make yet. Do not know how to proceed.
If i was in this situation i would personally, spend a lot of time with the family before i make any decision.
Usually (but not in all cases), most of the qualities are internalised within the home setting, so by spending time with the family, in sha Allah, you will pick up the family's habits/mentality/culture/religious levels etc.
I know as human beings we all put on an appearance sometimes around people so this is why it's probably best if you take someone with you i.e. parents as they can probably see things in a different light and of course, our parents are more knowledgeable in this area as they have the experience and age behind them etc.
If she uses social media i would also be keen to visit these social pages and have a read of the posts to try and understand the girl's mindset and so on.
Try and find out what your potential spouse likes to do in her spare time because her hobbies and interests will also speak for itself.
Another key topic you could bring up is the wedding itself and what your potential spouse and her family is expecting in terms of the format and how much of the religion she and her family want to follow/discuss the upbringing of children/how your potential spouse would like to live after marriage/does she want to live with your parents, buy your own house, live in same locality, does she read her salaah everyday/fast/what she is expecting from you as a husband and so on.
These are some of my ideas.
May Allah swt help you make a good decision Ameen.