My dad is forcing me to be a surgeon.

[Faree]

I want to be an engineer but my dad is forcing me to go be an doctor especially surgeon. :raging: But I am not interested in medical field I always wanted to be an engineer because I am interested in technology.
He says that if I became a doctor I will get a lot of money, I will enjoy rest of my life, I will be famous, I can go to any country I want if I got a doctor degree.
But I stil don't want to be a doctor I want to enjoy my job. I told him but he doesn't listen. I hate being a doctor. :cry:

[Scimitar]

Engineers can be paid way more than those corrupt doctors who get paid by the evil pharmaceutical companies.

And engineering is way cooler than stethoscopes etc.

Scimi

[Nameless]

As-salamu alaikum.

Since you do enjoy engineering, it is much more likely for you to not only achieve a career in the subject, but to also do well as an engineer.

Considering this, you would be able to provide greater benefit to society in what you would excel in.

From a Muslim perspective, I would suggest a career that one enjoys from which one would be of great benefit to society, have reasonable earnings, while importantly maintaining a secure connection to Islam.

May Allah make our decisions easy and beneficial to this world and the hereafter.

[shafat10]

Engineers can be paid way more than those corrupt doctors who get paid by the evil pharmaceutical companies.

And engineering is way cooler than stethoscopes etc.

Scimi

Not every doctor is corrupt.
There may be some, but most doctors earn Halal.

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[Abz2000]

maybe ask him if the doctor needs a surgery/hospital to operate in?
then maybe ask him if you wouldn't be doing more of a better task building a hospital or instruments that the doc needs which you'd be good at - than being a doctor which doesn't seem to be clicking with you.

your dad does have a point though, especially since we appear to be hitting times of stock market crashes and economic uncertainty, the engineers would be more hard-pressed than doctors in terms of demand, since the technology iand architecture industry usually depends on extra cash whereas the medical professional is always needed and can do their work even in a tent with a few tools.

i'm not saying engineering is bad but i know docs are more prone to survival and are able to help more when the shtf.

[sister herb]

Have you any experience about working in the medical field? Could you go as trainee or volunteer to some medical center/hospital to see what kind of work it really is? It could helps you to make your decision about your future career.

If you don´t know how it feels to help other people, how do you know you don´t like it?

[Scimitar]

Not every doctor is corrupt.
There may be some, but most doctors earn Halal.

No Muslim doctors I knew earnt "halal".

Scimi

[Abz2000]

No Muslim doctors I knew earnt "halal".

Scimi

and the surgeons who tended to the wounds of uhud and badr and hunayn and mu'tah and hawazin and hundreds more? :)
the one that circumcized your precious? :)

[Scimitar]

The Doctor who performed my circumcision was taking money under the table to sign off sick notes... modern day doctors are glorified drug dealers who push meds from the highest bidder.

Disagree?

Scimi

[Abz2000]

the good ones are the ones that keep Allah in mind and seek to gain His favour while they are honest and repair damage rather than lie and deceive and try to damage people via chemical lobotomy for a miserable gain under the directions of the slaves of satan.
i'll pray for the good ones that Allah makes them prevail.

[Scimitar]

Ameen to your dua bro Abz,

The world needs Doctors who actually care about their patients more than they care about lining their pockets.

Scimi

[Faree]

Have you any experience about working in the medical field? Could you go as trainee or volunteer to some medical center/hospital to see what kind of work it really is? It could helps you to make your decision about your future career.

If you don´t know how it feels to help other people, how do you know you don´t like it?

I don't have any experience in medical feild or engineering. But I do not like to cut people to do surgery, or see injured people, blood etc.

[greenhill]

I empathise with you.

Unfortunately the 'culture' dad deciding is quite hard to break.. (Pakistani origin)..

Perhaps you need to reason with him. Get help from your mum. You have to tell him in the nicest possible way and not lose patience. Tell him how you are reviled by it. The smell, sickness and blood etc. That does not even start with having to cut people up or dealing with pain etc.. and that you don't really want to spend the rest of your life stressing with emergencies and a large part being 'on call'. Engineering is good. Creative and calculated. It is a science discipline and practical.

Appeal to him that it is a respectable profession and not something you definitely don't want to do.

Perhaps a compromise, you train to become a pharmacist? :D

:peace:

[sister herb]

Or psychiatrist? Then you can move to America where people run to the psychiatrists all the time - at least if we believe in American soap series. :nervous:

[Abz2000]

i wonder who the psychiacrists must run to since many suffer from kufr (Allah clarfies that kufr of Allah is madness)

[BeTheChange]

Asalamualykum,

Speak to your dad. If you haven't already done so.

He needs to listen to your views and how you feel.

Only you can influence his thoughts and views and remind him that you are an individual and whilst you appreciate and respect his advice, you also need a say about your life.

I completely understand the pressure one can be subjected to by parents but think long term for this life and the next.

May Allah swt guide you and your family Ameen.

[shafat10]

Scimitar, brother, you said you have never seen a doctor earn Halal. Which country do you live in? I don't really know how you can say that, your exposure to the medical side must be less.

Coming from a family of doctors, I have never seen a doctor earn "Haram". My dad is a Consultant in Cardiac Anaesthesia, and has been doing this since the past 30+ years, and is near retirement, and so far I have never seen him earn a single Taka or Riyal Haram. He has worked in the best Cardiac hospital of my country since day 1, and I have never seen either of his friends earn Haram like you are mentioning. Worth noting, Cardiac Anaesthesia is the highest level of Anaesthesia and he and his colleagues and all those doctors of his age are the senior most working doctors of my country and I have never heard any of them earn Haram. I have simply no idea in which country you live, that you claim all of the doctors are earning Haram and are drug dealers in disguise. I totally "disagree" with you, 101%.
Your exposure to doctors must be highly limited or else there's no way you can say such a thing.
Yes, there are some black sheeps in every community, but that doesn't define the majority.
Majority of the doctors, whether Muslim or non Muslim, earn Halal.
I am not here to defend Medicine, am not at all interested in it, I work in the Aviation industry, but I have to be honest. I have never seen my dad earn Haram, neither his colleagues, in several countries of the world where I lived, including Bangladesh, India, Malaysia, and Saudi Arabia.

Care to elaborate why you have too much hate for doctors? Lol.

[Faree]

Or psychiatrist? Then you can move to America where people run to the psychiatrists all the time - at least if we believe in American soap series. :nervous:

I am already in USA ;D

[DanEdge]

Faree,

1. You are in America, do as you please!
2. If you are under 17, your father has certain legal rights to limit your behavior.
3. If you are over 17, see to #1.

:)

--Dan Edge

[AhmedGassama]

Don't listen to your father, listen to what your heart is telling you because you can only succeed and be bright in the field that you love.

If you don't love your field then you can't be bright in it.

[Faree]

Faree,

1. You are in America, do as you please!
2. If you are under 17, your father has certain legal rights to limit your behavior.
3. If you are over 17, see to #1.

:)

--Dan Edge

Dan Edge I know this but wouldn'this be wrong according to islam?

[DanEdge]

Faree,

My post was a quick gut-level response from another American, representing my personal opinion. I believe that every individual ought to make his or her own life choices, especially with regards to love and work. But I am not a Muslim. I am not qualified to give council on value-choices from an Islamic perspective. I must defer to your local iman for such council.

Best Wishes to You and Your Bright Future,

--Dan Edge

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

What grade are you in? It seems you are still in high school. To be honest, get through your high school first and then think about what you really want to do. My cousin wanted to be an engineer, had her eyes set on a particular school, and after she started her first semester, she changed everything. When I started school, I had my mind set on Medical school, there was no plan B for me, then I decided I didn't want to spend so much time in school and changed my major a few times actually. One of my best friends hates school, and her parents have pushed her into the medical field..she ended up doing dentistry, but still does not want to do it. The thing is she never could see herself even getting that far in school, she's not that good, but with hard work and dedication, she succeeded mashallah and even if she never works as a dentist, she will always have such a strong foundation.

I honestly think you won't know exactly what you want to do until you get some experience in the university and look at a variety of majors, maybe even shadow some people.

EDIT: I also want to mention that you can also do engineering within the medical field..that way you can both compromise :P

[Faree]

I'm in senior year, and we have to decide about which carrier to choose and college in this year.

[Moshy]

Not obeying your father would be a sin. You can kindly convince him. If he does not change his mind, then leave it to Allah. Best is to ask Allah for guidance. Only He knows what is best for His servants.

[Abz2000]

your situaltion made me rscall a book we read in Islamic school when teens, it was called "a devoted son" by anita desiree, maybe sit at his bedside and read it to and with him.

[shafat10]

Not obeying your father would be a sin. You can kindly convince him. If he does not change his mind, then leave it to Allah. Best is to ask Allah for guidance. Only He knows what is best for His servants.

The parent has no right in forcing his son to do certain stuffs that he feels is best, like his career, or his wife, and so on.
His career and wife, and stuff like these, unless the son is choosing something Haram, the parent cannot force them in to something of their choice; it's the son's life and he will decide about it.

[umairlooms]

You have the conflict, because you do not want to disappoint your father. There is a solution. Simply realzing, you are a human being, who has his own life, who has his own dreams and who has his own destination.
Your father will not be living your life, he will not be sharing your pain of not being what you wanted to be.
You WILL tell your dad, you WILL make it work and you WILL be a great engineer. If you want to be something than
that IS YOUR PATH TO PEACE AND HAPPINESS. Everyone will be happy for you once you are happy. That happiness is what
you seek more than anything.

Do what you LOVE...i know you will

I want to be an engineer but my dad is forcing me to go be an doctor especially surgeon. :raging: But I am not interested in medical field I always wanted to be an engineer because I am interested in technology.
He says that if I became a doctor I will get a lot of money, I will enjoy rest of my life, I will be famous, I can go to any country I want if I got a doctor degree.
But I stil don't want to be a doctor I want to enjoy my job. I told him but he doesn't listen. I hate being a doctor. :cry:

[lonewolf007]

hold on folks i know we're supposed to listen to our parents and respect their wishes, but force doesnt come into, if the dude doesnt wana be a surgeon, you cant force him to, the whole job comes with plenty of stress and responsibility, its just a recipe for disaster

brother fare kindly sit your father down and explain to him that your interests do not lie in the medical field, i wish you luck brother and hope that you succeed in what you want to do insha'Allah :)

btw folks dont come down on me like a ton of bricks, its just my opinion

peace

[ardianto]

Dan Edge I know this but wouldn'this be wrong according to islam?

Faree,

My post was a quick gut-level response from another American, representing my personal opinion. I believe that every individual ought to make his or her own life choices, especially with regards to love and work. But I am not a Muslim. I am not qualified to give council on value-choices from an Islamic perspective. I must defer to your local iman for such council.

Best Wishes to You and Your Bright Future,

--Dan Edge

Actually it has nothing to do with Islam, but cultural.

Muslim child indeed, must respect the parents and obey them. But it doesn't mean the parents can force children to always follow what they want. Nothing in Islam that say parents should determine the life of their children. Parents just take responsibility to make sure that their children do not make wrong choice that violate Islamic values.

My parents allowed me to choose study by my own choice. Now I allow my children to choose their school by their own choices. I just take a role as advisor.

People in my place (Muslims and non-Muslims) believe that what the best for children is the best for parents. However, people in some other places believe that parents know what the best for children.

Yeah, this is cultural.

[CosmicPathos]

There is lot of technology in surgery. Imagine being an orthopedic surgeon and using the latest and greatest ceramic or titanium hip replacements, or imagine being an ophthalmologist and doing micro-vitrectomies and retinotomies with 29 gauge needles and diamond-tipped vitrectors, or imagine being a radiologist and using intra-arterial catheters to clip aneurysms in brain circulation.

You should do what you like but I just wanted to challenge your biased view against medicine and surgery that it is not technological. It is perhaps the most interesting thing you can do with your life if you have the taste for it. Of course my views are biased as I am a doctor.

[Moshy]

The parent has no right in forcing his son to do certain stuffs that he feels is best, like his career, or his wife, and so on.
His career and wife, and stuff like these, unless the son is choosing something Haram, the parent cannot force them in to something of their choice; it's the son's life and he will decide about it.

Thank you for correcting me

[Kiro]

tell him... you are a surgeon... a surgeon of love.

I digress. ;D

Your dad can only guide youto your decision but he cannot force you to make your decision and he has to respect that. But you can always try the route of trying his respected choice and see if its for you though it might be a waste of time and tell him it didn't work out and it isn't for you.

Bro, please do what is likely what you are more passionate towards. Make dua for a good outcome of the situation.

[Walter]

Dear Faree:

If your father plans to pay for your studies, then unless you obtain a full scholarship, or you are willing to work and study, then you cannot simply ignore your father's wishes. Further, because he is your father, you should honour him. Therefore, let me suggest that you learn to negotiate - it is never to early to learn.

Your father appears to have a lower opinion of engineering than surgery. Perhaps you can start there. Engineering is perhaps the most important profession. I am not stating that because I happen to be an engineer, rather, it is true. Since humans are not perfect, we will all make mistakes. Therefore, one way of measuring importance is by the magnitude of consequences if an error is made.

If a plumber makes a mistake, then you may have a leak.
If a land surveyor makes a mistake, then you may lose or gain some land.
If an accountant makes a mistake, then you may lose or gain some money.
If a lawyer makes a mistake, then you may win or lose your case.
If a doctor makes a mistake, then you can lose a limb or your life.
However, if an engineer makes a mistake, then multitudes may die.

If a structural engineer underestimates the weight of equipment on the roof, the multi-storey building can collapse.
If the mechanical engineer underestimates the shear strength of a bolt, an aeroplane can crash.
If an electrical engineer underestimates the capacity of a fuse, the multi-storey building can be consumed in an electrical fire.
If chemical, agricultural, environmental, transportation, or industrial engineers make mistakes, multitudes can die. Let your father know that engineers are critically important.

If your father is concerned about your future earnings, then let him know that the mediocre will normally struggle, even mediocre surgeons. But there is lots of room at the top for the conscientious professional.

Best regards.

[Futuwwa]

I've been trying to think, and frankly, I can't think of any better solution than simply resist. Going for a career in surgery is a massive undertaking, you will curse yourself forever if you undertake it and end up hating it. Whatever the price might be of defying your father, the price of compliance will probably be even higher.

[hamzahqadri1]

May Allah Ta'Ala Help you to obey you Abu and assist you in all of your endeavours.
Ameen
Ameen
Ameen

[Bhabha]

I want to be an engineer but my dad is forcing me to go be an doctor especially surgeon. :raging: But I am not interested in medical field I always wanted to be an engineer because I am interested in technology.
He says that if I became a doctor I will get a lot of money, I will enjoy rest of my life, I will be famous, I can go to any country I want if I got a doctor degree.
But I stil don't want to be a doctor I want to enjoy my job. I told him but he doesn't listen. I hate being a doctor. :cry:

You can have both worlds...

Be a doctor / engineer. If you like technology appease to your technology and design things to be used in the medical industry. I have a friend who has combined genetics with technology. You can be a biomedical engineer? Get a PhD in biomedical engineering and tell your dad, you are technically a "doctor" XD :P