For the HUSBANDS

[LifeIsAHighway]

:salam:

I'll be updating this thread on a daily basis INSHALLAHU AZZAWAJAL so HUSBANDS stay tuned.. Just so we ALL could learn how to love OUR WIVES "genuinely"; The love she DESERVES and she's MADE FOR!... - AAMEEN

If we ALL would love and treat that one special lady in our lives each of us husbands are BLESSED with and realize and admit THEIR IMPORTANCE and DO NOT try to change them and accept them as is- she's a package deal and make them OUR PRIORITY, our TOP priority in our lives and keeping that in mind love and treat our wives the way they SHOULD BE LOVED AND TREATED - The Prophet's (SAAW) Way, and "listen" to THEM and keep THEM "Happy"- imagine what GREATNESS it would yield and how it could make our lives and this world a VERY BEAUTIFUL place to live... :)

PS, ..and WIVES "PLEASE" make your HUSBANDS READ THISS too! :) INSHALLAH we ALL can benefit from it ALOT :)...

---

1. Ask her to dance.

2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.

3. When she's coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk towards her as soon as you see her.

4. Kiss her in the erogenous zone between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.

5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.

6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.

7. Call her when you're feeling sad.

8. Kiss her eyelids.

9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child.

10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.

11. If she's crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.

12. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.

13. Buy her your favourite rock album of all time on vinyl.

14. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.

15. Put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.

16. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.

17. Send her something in the mail. Anything.

18. When she's feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no-one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.

19. Call her just before you get on the plane.

20. Pick her clothes up off the floor.

21. Try desperately to make her laugh when she's feeling down.

22. Take her to see your favourite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.

23. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.

24. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.

25. Give her jewellery.

26. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)

27. Ask her specific questions about her work.

28. Keep her favourite cereal on hand.

29. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.

30. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.

31. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.

32. Read her a story when it's her turn to drive during a long road trip.

33. Offer to fix something at her place that you realise is broken.

34. Notice when she's wearing something new.

35. Make love to her standing up, against a wall.

36. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.

37. Run a bath for her.

38. Give her a full-body massage.

39. Ask if she wants to wrestle and/or pillow fight.

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:


hmmm sis , i believe u live in the west . Husbands even many wives from Indo- Pak subcontinent won't feel comfortable with some of these . But keep it up :statisfie

[LifeIsAHighway]

No.. I'm not a sister and I don't live in the west. And if they consider it a shame for themselves then SHAME ON THEM AND WOE TO THEM ! How distressing ! That is why the world can NEVER get better *HUGELY DISAPPOINTED* :/

[LifeIsAHighway]

But no matter what I will keep posting, INSHALLAHU TA'ALA !! :Emoji49:

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[LifeIsAHighway]

It's all what Our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAAW) did. If we can't accept that then we're NOT MUSLIMS AT ALL! Yes we try to run away from the TRUTH yes we run away from the GENUINE LOVE, we run away because it's just TOO **** HARD and not something every other person can do. But the Prophet (SAAW) did so can WE! If we try to take "one step at a time", EVERYDAY "Intentionally" and "Genuinely" loving OUR SPOUSE, EVERY SINGLE DAY. That's what the Prophet (SAAW) did and that is how we make it to forever, "a day at a time".....

[LifeIsAHighway]

1. Know Her feelings

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam once said to Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha : “I know well when you are pleased or angry with me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying “By the God of Mohammad” but when you are angry you swear by saying “By the God of Ibrahim”. She said: You are right, I don’t mention your name.”[1]

The husband and wife should be aware of each other’s feelings. The husband should be able to gauge when his wife is upset or sad, likewise the wife should be able to read her husband’s behaviour. By being conscious of one another’s feelings, it will help resolve any differences. When your spouse is down or upset, be there to console him/her. Sit with them, speak with them, listen to them. Try and make them smile. If the husband is always conscious of his wife’s feelings, and the wife is always conscious of the husband’s feelings, then this will assist greatly in keeping the ‘flicker’ alight.

2. Console her

Sayyidah Safiyah radiallahu anha was on a journey with the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam. She was late so the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam received her while she was crying. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down. [2]

This is another feature a marriage must have. Each spouse has to be there for the other in the good and bad times. The wife should find comfort and solace in the husband and the husband should find warmth and love in his wife. Be gentle with one another.

3. Laying in the wife’s lap

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would recline in the lap of our beloved mother Sayyidah Aisha radaillahu anha even in the state when she would be menstruating. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would recite the Qur῾ān whilst reclining in his wife’s lap.[3]

How many times have we rested in the lap of our spouse? These gestures ARE NOT AT ALL TRIVIAL and are the acts which brings the hearts close. The wife can sense and see the love of her husband for her in such actions. Every so often come home and just go and rest in the lap of your wife. She will appreciate this gesture greatly.

4. Combing the spouse’s hair:

Aisha radiallahu anha would comb the hair of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam and wash his hair.

This is how close a couple has to be. Love evolves and grows to such an extent that a spouse yearns to do everything for the other spouse even if it simply combing their hair. To maintain a high intensity of love, do the little things for your spouse also. Little acts have a huge psychological impact on the mind of the spouse. Often comb Her Hair, take Her Clothes out to wear, bring Her a cold drink on a hot day, prepare something for Her etc.

5. Drinking and eating from one place:

Aisha radiallahu anha would drink from a cup. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would take this cup and search for the place where the lips of his beloved wife made contact. Upon finding the place where his wife drank from the cup, he would put his lips on the very same place so that his lips have touched the place where her lips touched. He would then drink the contents of the cup at the same time enjoying union with his spouse. When there was meat to eat, Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha would take a bite. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would take the meat from her hand and again place his mouth the very same place where his wife ate from. This would add taste of love to his food.[4]

Do things together with your wife. Do not just eat at the same time and on the same tablecloth, but eat from the same plate. Let alone the same plate, eat together from the same article of food. This will bond the hearts so close to one another. When everything your wife comes into contact with becomes more beloved to you than food itself, imagine the flame of love in your lives?

6. Kissing:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would kiss his wife regularly. Even when he salallahu alaihi wasallam would be fasting, he would kiss his wife.[5]

Compliment your spouse often with kisses. When exiting the house, make it habit you leave by coming into contact with your spouse. When returning home, along with saying salām to her, show that you have missed her dearly. When she is working or busy in her household chores, surprise her with a kiss. You have to show your love. Love is the fuel of marriage; if you desire your marriage to progress, you have to express your love in every way you can.

Physical relations in a marriage are very important. The famous saying is, “actions speak louder than words.” Show your spouse you love her. Sharī῾ah promotes romance and physical relations between the husband and wife. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam categorically stated,

“Conjugal relations with your wife is a sadaqah.”[6]

6. Lifting the morsel to her mouth

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam said : If you spend an amount you will be rewarded for it, -even when you lift the morsel to your wife’s mouth.” [7]

The husband and wife should make these gentle gestures to exhibit their love and appreciation. Feed your spouse with your own hands now and then. This will rekindle the flame of love in your marriage.

7. Assisting her in the housework:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would clean and help at home. He would see to his needs himself rather than demanding his wife. He would clean and see to his clothing himself.

Without being asked, if the couple help each other in day to day activities, it will make one appreciate the other. Likewise, one should try his best not to demand his/her spouse to do things too much. Whatever one can do himself, he should do. We need to be considerate of the spouse. The wife works tirelessly all day. So if the husband was to be considerate and realise his wife works hard, this will touch the wife. Likewise, if the wife was to go out of her way to see to the needs of her husband being considerate, it will induce a great spark of love between the two.

8. Telling her stories

Discuss stories and events with your spouse. Engage in light hearted discussions with her-something to laugh and joke over. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam on many occasions would discuss stories, events and have light hearted discussions. The famous story narrated by Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha regarding Umm Zar’ is evident.

This is one angle which is neglected more so than often. It is all ‘business’ between the husband and wife. They do not get into light hearted conversations. Instead, the husband rings his friends and chuckles with them. The wife on the other hand giggles during the day with her friends. This should not be the case. Focus and divert all your amusement and entertainment at your spouse. If you want to laugh, then let it be that you are laughing with your wife.

Make it a point in your busy schedule daily where you sit with your wife and do nothing but have fun with her.

9. Sharing happy occasions with her:

Once when the Ethiopians were practicing target shooting in the masjid complex, the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stood with his wife watching. Not only did the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stand with his wife, he put his cloak around her. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam although he had other jobs to do, he stayed there standing with his wife. He only went when his wife wanted to go.[8]

A husband should be one who shares happy occasions and experiences with his wife. When it is raining, cold or sunny, one should shelter his wife.You should be willing to sacrifice your errands to spend time with your wife. When the spouse sees sacrifice for her sake, it will create immense love and respect in their heart.

10. Racing with his wife

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would exercise and play with his wife also. The famous incident of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam challenging his wife to race is well known.

When a couple can have such good times together, it only ignites the love even more.

11. Calling her by a beautiful name:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would call his wife ‘Humairā’’ out of love. Linguistically it means the little reddish one, but the scholars state that in reality it refers to someone who is so fair that due to the sun they get a reddish tan. This was the reason why the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam called her Humairaa’.[9]

Call your spouse nice sweet names. One has to show his partner love and affection in every little thing. One needs to feed love constantly to his spouse to keep the flame burning.

Once the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stared into his wife’s eyes. He was gazing at the world within his wife’s eyes. He then said to Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha in praise of her beauty,

“How white are your eyes.”[10]

This is what is needed. The husband and wife should be constantly complementing and praising each other. The husband has to show his love and attraction to his wife. The wife needs to show her infatuation for her husband. When there is a reciprocal relationship, the marriage climbs heights.

12. Dress for your spouse

Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās radiallahu anhu said: “As my wife adorns herself for me, I adorn myself for her. I do not want to take all of my rights from her so that she will not take all of her rights from me because Allah, the Exalted, stated the following: “And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them.” (Qur῾ān 2 :228.)[11]

This is another area where many spouses fail. The wife only dresses when it is a special occasion. The husband on the hand stays scruffy and does not take care to be neat and tidy. If the couple want their everyday to be a special occasion like their wedding day, they must dress to impress! The wife should wear the clothing which pleases her husband. Likewise, the husband should wear what the wife likes. Every time the husband and wife glance at each other, the glance should arouse them and stir up more love for their spouse. This will ignite the love in the heart.

13. Utilising perfume:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would have a container for perfume. He would use perfume constantly.[12] One should make an effort to smell good for his wife all the time.

Looking good, keeping clean, smelling nice compliments a relationship exceptionally. Make sure you hair is tidy, your clothes are neat and you smell pleasant. This will attract your spouse always and inject affection into the marriage.

14. Do not talk about her private matters (DISGRACEFUL PEOPLE DO THAT)

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam described the one who discloses his wife’s affairs to others as amongst the worst of people.[13]

Whatever occurs between yourself and your spouse should remain between you two. How unmanly and shameful is it when a husband discusses his wife to his friends? The secrets and issues of the spouse must not be narrated at all to anyone. Do not talk about your wife to others. Your wife is for you. You are for your wife. Your fidelity and loyalty should always be to your spouse.

15. Loving & respecting their families

Another great factor to contribute to a healthy relationship is to love and cherish the family of your spouse. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was once asked whom he loved the most. He replied, “Aisha.” When the questioner rephrased his question and asked from amongst the men, he replied, “Her father.”

The Prophet could have easily said Abu Bakr. His answer displays such intelligence and ingenuity, that in one response he displayed his devotion to his wife and her family. He exhibited his fondness for his in-laws. Imagine how happy his wife Sayyidah Aisha would have become upon hearing this response?

Compliment your in laws in front of your wife. Compliment your wife to her family. Your wife will really appreciate this.

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car’s door for her, etc.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace at home.

[LifeIsAHighway]

I get really furious when people argue with me on this... MY APOLOGIES

[LifeIsAHighway]

1. Make her feel secure, don’t threaten her with divorce.

2. Give sincere Salaams.

3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.

4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.

5. Be generous with her.

6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.

7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.

8. Look good and smell great for your wife.

9. Don’t be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.

10. Be a good listener.

11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.

12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear.

13. Give her a pleasant surprise every now and then.

14. Preserve and guard the tongue.

15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.

16. Give sincere compliments.

17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.

18. Speak of the topic of her interest.

19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.

20. Give each other gifts.

21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.

22. Have a good opinion of each other.

23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don’t nitpick.

24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.

25. Expect and respect her jealously.

26. Be humble.

27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.

28. Help at home, with housework.

29. Help her love your relatives, but don’t try to force her.

30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.

31. Remember your wife in Du’a.

32. Leave the past for Allah, don’t dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.

33. Don’t act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah
is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.

34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.

35. Put food in your wife’s mouth.

36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to
protect.

37. Show her your smile.

38. Don’t ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.

39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.

40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.

41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.

42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal
boundaries.

43. Help her take care of the children.

44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.

45. Sit down and eat meals together.

46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give
her sufficient notice.

47. Don’t leave home in anger.

48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.

49. Encourage each other in worship.

50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.

51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.

52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don’t jump on her like a bull.

53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don’t take it outside.

54. Show care for her health and well-being.

55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.

56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.

57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.

58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.

59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.

60. Have a good intention for her.

61. Cook a dish for her.

62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you
to pray together.

63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the
gift you made for her.

64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.

65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.

66. Send your wife an email without a reason.

67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location,
preferably without kids.

68. Do something for your wife’s family, whether it is a gift, or a chat
with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots
of brownie points.

69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.

70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she
needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.

71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for ladies
only get together and arrange for the dinner.

72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.

73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.

74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she’s been reading.

75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur’an or
Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and
take her word.

76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.

77. Adopt a kitten for her if she likes.

78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.

79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new
expertise.

80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.

81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when
she put too much salt or burnt her baking).

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

No.. I'm not a sister

so sorry bro , my mistake :omg:

and I don't live in the west. And if they consider it a shame for themselves then SHAME ON THEM AND WOE TO THEM ! How distressing ! That is why the world can NEVER get better *HUGELY DISAPPOINTED* :/

sorry bro if i disappoint u . Just wanted to say that some tips like carry her to bedroom from car or kiss her in front of friends - normally Muslims in my country don't do this . Express/ show love for spouse openly is still a matter of ' taboo ' . People don't want to show it in public , rather they keep it private .

[LifeIsAHighway]

:sl:

Please check your inbox please, I don't want to muck up this thread.

:jz:

[LifeIsAHighway]

16. Keep saying “I love you.” These three little words are very powerful! Few people, if any, tire of hearing that they are loved. When you say “I love you” do your best to be giving your spouse your full attention. Make sure you mean it when you say it!!

17. Provide genuine, meaningful affirmations regularly.
“Gee, your hair smells terrific” may be appropriate, but affirmations like, “You do so much to keep our family working. I can never thank you enough for all you do,” are more powerful and meaningful for making your spouse feel special. Affirmations come in all shapes and sizes: from verbal affirmations given in-person, to voicemail or e-mail messages to notes and cards.

18. Create and maintain a regular, non-negotiable date night – just for you and your spouse. (By the way, this means time away from the kids – and other friends.)
Relationships need one-on-one nourishment to stay healthy. A regular date night can provide the quality and quantity of time needed to keep your relationship with your spouse strong.

19. Take a vacation together.
Same idea as the regular date night noted above. A vacation with your spouse will provide you with more time to focus on one another and will give you opportunities to rekindle the romance in your life!

20. Give your spouse veto-power over your schedule. This empowers your spouse and sends a message that they are special. It acknowledges the fact that your spouse is a partner with you in life – not just another person making demands on your time.

21. Work together to learn more about marriage.
Go to marriage retreats or conferences. Read books on marriage together and discuss what you’ve read. You are never too old – or have been married too long – to work on improving your marriage.

22. Buy your spouse flowers or gifts.
Gifts don’t have to be extravagant, but should be simple reminders of how special your spouse is to you. Keep these gifts personal, rather than practical!

23. Surprise your spouse. For example, kidnap your spouse from work and do something you know they would enjoy. (Be sure to check with your spouse’s boss – if they have one!)

Give gifts or flowers at totally unexpected times.

24. If you travel away from home, try to communicate with your spouse everyday while you are away.
Phone calls are best, followed by voicemails and e-mails. If you want to keep your spouse feeling special, don’t make comments like “This is the best time I’ve ever had in my life” even if it is. “I really miss you” works much better!

25. Here is a list of creative dating ideas for you and your spouse…


• Go for a walk
• Work on a jigsaw puzzle
• Play a board game
• Play “hide and seek”
• Cook together
• Have an overnight campout in your yard
• Participate in community service or mission
• Get some exercise
• Find some quiet space and listen to music
• Learn a new hobby together
• Fly kites
• Write poems and read to each other

• TELL HER you love her.

• Buy flowers just because.

• Offer to care for the kids while she takes a bath or reads a book in bed.

• Do the dishes.

• Turn off the game on TV just to spend some time together.

• Make her a card from scratch (no matter how limited your skills--she'll love it so much more) and tell her how you feel about her.

• Make the bed.

• Arrange a ladies' night with her friends.

• Encourage her to pursue activities and interests that can make her feel happy and pursued--and help her to be able to do so.

• Hold her hand while you're at the grocery store or in the car.

• Plan a date for the two of you and don't tell her what any of the plans are.

• Make a list of things you love about her, write them on sticky notes, and hide them all over the house so she'll continue finding them throughout the week.

• Thank her for things she does around the house regularly that you may take for granted, whether it's cooking, getting the kids ready for school each morning, or anything else.

• Notice something she has mentioned needing to replace or been wanting and get it for her.

• Go shopping with her to help pick out new clothes. She values your opinion and wants to know you think she looks good, and she wants to spend time with you.

• Take care of finding the babysitter when the two of you want to go out.

• While you are at work, send her a text message telling her how much you love her.

• Give her a foot massage.

• Post a love song to her Facebook wall.

• Go for a walk together. (Just the two of you — no kids.)

• Finally get around to that project she has been asking you to do.

• Write her a poem. Not a poet? Find a classic poem online that reminds you of her.

• Run some errands for her.

• Give her a long kiss when you come home from work.

• Pick out a movie she would love (but that you would normally veto) and watch it together.

• On your next date, make an extra effort to look your best and get dressed up for her.

• Like her blouse? Think her hair looks particularly nice that day? Tell her. Specific compliments go a long way.

• Recreate your first date or other memorable moments during your courtship.

• Put the cereal back in its place after breakfast and your clothes away at the end of the day.

• Come home early from work one day with dinner in hand. (If you can't come home early, let her know beforehand that you've got dinner taken care of.)

• Thank her often and verbally for being a wonderful wife and mother. Mention specific things you appreciate.

• Take the trash out before she asks.

• Find and frame an old photo of your early dating or married days. Give it to her for her nightstand or desk.

• Tell her how beautiful she is. Often.

• Buy her favorite book for her.

• Give her hand a kiss.

• Tell her what you loved most about her when you first met.

• Tell her what you love most about her today.

• Fill up her car for her.

• Cuddle with her on the couch after the kids have gone to bed and let her tell you about her day.

• Vacuum the house.

• Treat her to a mani-pedi at the spa.

• Leave a short and sweet note on the bathroom mirror for her.

• Surprise her with a clean car.

• Make a to-do list with her of all the things you'd like to do in the next year. (Fun things, big or small, not tasks!)

• Go on an extra fancy date to the orchestra or something out of the norm.

• Take a picture of her on your phone when you think she's being cute with the kids or any other time.

• And, because it bears repeating: TELL HER YOU LOVE "HER".

[strivingobserver98]

:sl:

Nice thread. :jz:

Wow subhan Allah may Allah grant us all righteous spouses. Ameen.

[azc]

OPvery strange post is this.Can the OP defend all these points he posted?1: husband should ask his wife to dance.Is dancing allowed in Islam?If she dances then music must be played. Then, is music halal?Then which type of dance she'll have to perform? Break dance?Alone or before husband or before all the family? members?

[LifeIsAHighway]

:sl:

Nice thread. :jz:

Wow subhan Allah may Allah grant us all righteous spouses. Ameen.

:wasalam:

I knew you'd like it bro ! :happy:

And your WELCOME i'll be posting more so stay tuned bro you know people like me and you all can benefit ALOT from it so we could treat and keep our wives the way they SHOULD be treated and kept, INSHALLAHU TA'ALA ! :statisfie

[strivingobserver98]

OPvery strange post is this.Can the OP defend all these points he posted?1: husband should ask his wife to dance.Is dancing allowed in Islam?If she dances then music must be played. Then, is music halal?Then which type of dance she'll have to perform? Break dance?Alone or before husband or before all the family? members?

I'm sure he means in private with the spouse.

[LifeIsAHighway]

OPvery strange post is this.Can the OP defend all these points he posted?1: husband should ask his wife to dance.Is dancing allowed in Islam?If she dances then music must be played. Then, is music halal?Then which type of dance she'll have to perform? Break dance?Alone or before husband or before all the family? members?

and dancing with YOUR SPOUSE doesn't require MUSIC - it isn't necessary. LMAO.

[LifeIsAHighway]

1. Listen

To be truly heard is the longing of every human heart, and your wife is no exception. It sounds simple, but listening can be harder than it seems with so many distractions around us and within us. Set aside some time every day to look into your wife’s eyes and really listen to what she has to say. You may be surprised at what you hear.

2. Communicate

Don’t make her guess what you are thinking or feeling (It's HER thing to make YOU guess what SHE is thinking or feeling).

3. Sing Her Praises

Shamelessly brag about her good qualities and quietly pray about her bad ones. Her reputation is your reputation.

4. Pray For Her and With Her

Praying on your wife’s behalf not only enlists the help of the Almighty, but also puts her and her needs at the forefront of your heart and mind, right where they belong. Praying alongside your wife will strengthen your relationship like nothing else. Studies show that couples who regularly pray together stay together, enjoying a 1% divorce rate compared to the usual rate of 50% or more.

5. Value Her Individuality

Your wife is wonderfully unique. Don’t compare her to your mom, or your ex-wife, or your old girlfriend. Your mom may make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world, but unfavorable comparisons won’t win you brownie points.

6. Put the Seat Down

Perpetually raised toilet seats are a pet peeve of wives everywhere. And while you’re at it, tidy up a bit. A little consideration goes a long way.

7. Throw Your Dirty Clothes in the Hamper

It’s likely just a few steps from wherever you are dropping them anyway. Make this a habit, and it will let your wife know your don’t consider her your personal maid.

8. Turn Off the T.V.

Lay aside the video games, pocket the iPhone, and shut off the computer, as well. It is staggering how many hours we waste gazing at some sort of screen instead of interacting with the real people in our lives. Consciously set limits on your tube-time, whatever form it takes. Use the time saved to invest in your marriage: take a walk with your wife or play a board game together instead.

9. Loosen the Purse Strings

We all have to keep an eye on our budget, but an occasional splurge can be well worth it. Seemingly frivolous things like flowers, jewelry, and overpriced restaurants let her know that she is more valuable to you than a number in your bank account.

10. Practice Servant-Leadership

All organizations have a hierarchy. It’s impossible to function without one, but being a leader isn’t the same as being a dictator. The best role model is Rasool Allah (SAAW), not Joseph Stalin. It’s a challenge to exercise authority while maintaining a spirit of humility, but that is what being a godly leader entails.

11. Remember that Intimacy’s a Two-Way Street

Unfortunately, men are notoriously selfish in the bedroom, yet are dumbfounded when their wives are less than enthusiastic in this arena. Make this area of your relationship as pleasurable for her as it is for you and it will pay huge dividends. It may mean washing the dishes or helping with the kids, so that she has energy left at the end of the day. It may mean cuddling and candlelight, so that she can relax and let the worries on her mind drift away. If you aren’t sure where to begin, just ask her, and then listen.

12. Give Her Time to Herself

Everyone needs an occasional break to rest and recharge, and this is especially important for a wife who is at home all day with young children. Yet it’s very easy to neglect this legitimate need unless you regularly and intentionally schedule time for it.

13. Set Aside Couple Time

Soak in the tub together each evening or go on a date night once a week — whatever gets the two of you alone on a regular basis.

14. Be Careful with Female Friendships

We all have friends and colleagues of the opposite sex, but tread cautiously. Not all affairs are physical ones. Honoring your marriage vows means remaining faithful in thought and word as well as in deed.

15. Use Good Hygiene

It is amazing how meticulous guys can be prior to marriage in their attempts to impress a girl, but once they walk down the aisle, all bets are off. Clean up a little; I promise it won’t kill you.

16. Limit the Gross Stuff

Few women find burping and farting nearly as hilarious as the typical guy does. Good manners are always a win.

17. Be Patient

In whatever way this applies to you and your situation, apply it.

18. Cherish Her Children

A mother’s bond to her children runs immeasurably deep. When you invest time or energy in them, you are investing in her as well. Kindness to them counts as kindness to her.

19. Choose Her Over Hobbies and Buddies

Invariably there will come times in your relationship when you will be forced to choose between your wife and something else that you enjoy. Always choose her.

20. Provide for Her Needs

This is so much more than just putting food on the table. It is all-encompassing. Whether it is physical needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs, you name it — do your best to provide.

Sometimes life’s circumstances hinder us in one area, but we can compensate in another area. Often the effort is as important as the outcome.

21. Dial Down the Anger

Your caveman instincts are handy on the battlefield, but horrible for a happy home life. Every outburst or flare-up is a relationship setback. To go forward, the first step is to stop going backwards. Learn to control your temper or it will control you, your marriage, and every other aspect of your life. Just because your wife puts up with it and your co-workers tolerate it, doesn’t make your short fuse an asset. Do whatever it takes to gain victory in this all-important struggle that has haunted man since Cain slew Abel.

22. Cut Out the Condescension

If you have been blessed with a quick wit, you can either be the life of the party or a pain in the neck depending on the circumstances. Condescension is anger’s younger brother. It isn’t as loud or as dramatic, but it can be equally hurtful and all the more so for its subtlety. Lay off the snide remarks, the sarcasm, and the belittling. Speak to your wife in the same way that you would speak to a respected colleague. She is, after all, your partner in the most valuable investment of your life — your family.

23. Actively Seek Your Wife’s Insights

Value her input and give it a preferential place in your decision-making process.

24. Learn to Forgive

Freely forgive your wife’s past, present, and future offenses. Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel and at the heart of every meaningful relationship.

25. Verbally Express Your Love

There are lots of ways to show your love, but women still like to hear it spoken.

[keiv]

and dancing with YOUR SPOUSE doesn't require MUSIC - it isn't necessary. LMAO.

That's what you could use the vinyl rock album for though :)

There's a lot of good suggestions that you've made (listening, communicating, patience, good hygiene, etc.) but, there's also some weird ones in there as well. Make lover to her standing up against a wall? Going to her house to fix things and going to her house to comfort her when she's sad (are you divorced at this point or just living in different houses?). Wrapping your arms around her when introducing her to the family? Being affectionate in public, hugging and kissing her in front of both your friends and hers to show that she's special? Isn't that why you guys are married in the first place?

You have to admit, some of these that sound like it's more of a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship than it does a marriage. It also sounds like this style of relationship has been influenced by western hollywood style relationships which is probably why the sis above assumed you lived in the west.

**This post wasn't meant to be offensive btw so, don't take it as such.