Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatAllahi wa barakaatuhu to all the sincere Muslim brothers and sisters - and to those who are yet to accept that Islam is the truth and only way of life acceptable to Almighty God in order to gain paradise and be saved from hellfire - may Allah who is all Wise and Intelligent guide us to the truth and right conduct which is pleasing to Him.
I find myself compelled to comment after a long while due to some misinformation which it is every capable person's duty to correct when they know an essential fact which may have passed by others.
Firstly, The final messenger of God (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, his family and his followers) Muhammad's life was an example to those who followed and came after him, his mistakes where corrected by God even with admonition or threats of fall from grace within the Quran itself and his good deeds were rarely mentioned and even if they were, they were usually attributed to the grace of God or fleetingly mentioned as a wise choice, this fact can be seen throughout the Quran, Surah 'Abasa, Al Isra' Anfal 67-69, for some amongst many admonitions and threats, end of surah tawbah, ahzab 21, ale Imran 159 plus a precious few more for the commendations.
His marriages were not mentioned as worthy of condemnation, some were even mentioned in the Quran and the wife whom you mention is mentioned more than once along with other wives.
We are informed via many usually reliable sources that he (pbuh)was ordained to marry first Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) of whom it is mentioned that she was fifteen years his senior by age and forty years old and later Aishah the daughter of Abu Bakr (his closest companion and confidant) - of whom it is said that she was 6 years of age at engagement and 9 (nine) at consumation.
Therefore between these ages there is no dispute amongst the believers as to what is allowed - provided of course that it is a lawful marriage within the bounds of Islam (God knows how many scholarly debates there would otherwise have been) and a person is not under compulsion to marry a forty year old or get engaged to a six year old and consummate at nine.
With that said, it is a certain fact that women become aware at a very young age and my six year old daughter is already more busy buying hair clips and eyeliner than sweets, God knows how it will be at nine. Not to say that i would give her hand in marriage at those ages unless an excellent suitor whom i was reasonably convinced that nobody in future would likely surpass in morals, character and status was sent to my doorstep, even then she would have the choice in Islam to dissolve a marriage she was unhappy with when she grows older despite her father's best efforts to fulfill his bounden obligation to make the best choices for her within his capability.
What is more shocking and concerning than giving one's daughter in lawful marriage to the best suitor on earth at the time and the most respected and sought after man in Arabia is the fact that young unmarried boys and girls are being sexually tortured by the wanton display of sexy/sexually attractive material, personalities and pornography whilst being handed condoms and other contraceptives to prevent the spread of unwanted pregnancies and the diseases that follow, to coax those scared, vulnerable and unmarried girls into visiting clinics which specialize in murdering life within the womb is truly a despicable crime upon the other crimes for which Allah has promised to judge, those babies will be asked to testify regarding the crime for which they were killed and surely the burden of responsibility will be carried by those responsible for leading their young parents astray and those responsible for their murders.
Secondly, regarding the striking of his (pbuh)'s wives, it is clearly recorded that he would strike a loved one on the chest when the need to punish became apparent, this has been mentioned in sahih Al Muslim regarding his nightly visit to the cemetery of Al Baqi and 'Aa-isha's (ra) attempt to hide from him the fact that she had secretly followed and watched him.
O Muslims, Islam is the way of life which the Creator of the heavens and the earth, the Master of the universe who knows better than all creation from first to last combined has enjoined and there is no need to apologize to criminals and foolish ones who fail to see and think clearly, there is also no need whatsoever to squirm and feel uncomfortable for being upon the path of truth and right conduct- for what God does.
Do you see the foolish ones squirm or feel timid when they display their boobs and knickers on posters to all and sundry including children and toddlers, do you see them squirm when a man snogs another man in public at the bus stop or on the train, people know quite well what they're gonna do at home, i have a feeling that even nine year old children have an idea. They get taught it in school remember?
That's without mentioning some of the stuff they see on each other's phones and PSPs
To the O.P, I've been exposed to that wierd porn at a very young age in the U.K and know it must feel uncomfortable when people wonder at it's decadence and degenerative effect upon society, don't worry, i won't tell anyone - i would be too ashamed to anyway despite the fact that it was on the shelves in the newsagents which i could reach in my early teens at Smiths and which i used to view in the newspapers when doing the rounds before school, no denying that i thoroughly enjoyed the eyefuls that i'd get from "the sun" and "the daily sport" .... but it's not just about enjoyment though is it? However, please do refrain from casting suspicion upon the character of Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, his family and his followers) just because any evil deeds prevalent in kufr (infidelity and covering of truth) are put in the spotlight.
The messenger of God was way above what many of the leaders of today can ever hope of attaining and God knows what they do out of the public eye.
It appears that some critics of the Messenger of God have a disease, when mentioning Khadijah (ra) they falsely accuse him (phuh) of having married an elderly widow for her resources, when mentioning 'Aishah they falsely make out that he was preying on vulnerable children, but Allah tells us that it is not the Messenger of Allah pbuh (against whom nobody seems to have had any personal qualms) whom they reject, but the signs of Allah which the wicked deny. The marriage of the messenger of Allah is just a needle amongst a haystack which they seek to use as a skewed public opinion tool, however the facts speak otherwise. Abu Bakr who gave her in marriage was amongst the most intellegent men of Makkah and he had no want of resources either, and yet Aishah (as did most women) sought his attentions, and yet he proclaimed his love for the woman he had loved like no other even after her death.
(12)Chapter: The Virtues Of Khadijah, The Mother Of The Believers (RA)(12)باب فَضَائِلِ خَدِيجَةَ أُمِّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ رضى الله تعالى عنها
Abu Huraira reported that Gabriel came to Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) and said:Allah's Messenger, lo. Khadija is coming to you with a vessel of seasoned food or drink. When she comes to you, offer her greetings from her Lord, the Exalted and Glorious, and on my behalf and give her glad tidings of a palace of jewels in Paradise wherein there is no noise and no toil.
This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira through another chain of transmitters with a slight variation of wording.حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَأَبُو كُرَيْبٍ وَابْنُ نُمَيْرٍ قَالُوا حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ فُضَيْلٍ، عَنْ عُمَارَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي زُرْعَةَ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ أَتَى جِبْرِيلُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ هَذِهِ خَدِيجَةُ قَدْ أَتَتْكَ مَعَهَا إِنَاءٌ فِيهِ إِدَامٌ أَوْ طَعَامٌ أَوْ شَرَابٌ فَإِذَا هِيَ أَتَتْكَ فَاقْرَأْ عَلَيْهَا السَّلاَمَ مِنْ رَبِّهَا عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَمِنِّي وَبَشِّرْهَا بِبَيْتٍ فِي الْجَنَّةِ مِنْ قَصَبٍ لاَ صَخَبَ فِيهِ وَلاَ نَصَبَ . قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ فِي رِوَايَتِهِ عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ وَلَمْ يَقُلْ سَمِعْتُ . وَلَمْ يَقُلْ فِي الْحَدِيثِ وَمِنِّي .
Reference*:*Sahih Muslim 2432In-book reference*:*Book 44, Hadith 103USC-MSA web (English) reference*: Book 31, Hadith 5967**(deprecated numbering scheme)Report Error*|*Share
كتاب فضائل الصحابة رضى الله تعالى عنهم44The Book of the Merits of the Companions(12)Chapter: The Virtues Of Khadijah, The Mother Of The Believers (RA)(12)باب فَضَائِلِ خَدِيجَةَ أُمِّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ رضى الله تعالى عنها
Never did I feel jealous of the wives of Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) but in case of Khadija, although I did not (have the privilege to) see her.
She further added that whenever Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) slaughtered a sheep, he said: Send it to the companions of Khadija I annoyed him one day and said: (It is) Khadija only who always prevails upon your mind. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: Her love had been nurtured in my heart by Allah Himself
.حَدَّثَنَا سَهْلُ بْنُ عُثْمَانَ
، حَدَّثَنَا حَفْصُ بْنُ غِيَاثٍ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ مَا غِرْتُ عَلَى نِسَاءِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِلاَّ عَلَى خَدِيجَةَ وَإِنِّي لَمْ أُدْرِكْهَا . قَالَتْ وَكَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا ذَبَحَ الشَّاةَ فَيَقُولُ " أَرْسِلُوا بِهَا إِلَى أَصْدِقَاءِ خَدِيجَةَ " . قَالَتْ فَأَغْضَبْتُهُ يَوْمًا فَقُلْتُ خَدِيجَةَ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " إِنِّي قَدْ رُزِقْتُ حُبَّهَا " .
2435 bIn-book reference*:*Book 44, Hadith 108USC-MSA web (English) reference*: Book 31, Hadith 5972**(deprecated numbering scheme)
Once Hala bint Khuwailid, Khadija's sister, asked the permission of the Prophet (ﷺ) to enter. On that, the Prophet (ﷺ) remembered the way Khadija used to ask permission, and that upset him. He said, "O Allah! Hala!"
So I became jealous and said, "What makes you remember an old woman amongst the old women of Quraish an old woman (with a teethless mouth) of red gums who died long ago, and in whose place Allah has given you somebody better than her?"
Other referencesIn-book reference Book 63, Hadith 47 Reference Sahih al-Bukhari 3821 USC-MSA web (English) reference Vol. 5, Book 58, Hadith 168*
وَقَالَ إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ خَلِيلٍ أَخْبَرَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ مُسْهِرٍ، عَنْ هِشَامٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ ـ رضى الله عنها ـ قَالَتِ اسْتَأْذَنَتْ هَالَةُ بِنْتُ خُوَيْلِدٍ أُخْتُ خَدِيجَةَ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم، فَعَرَفَ اسْتِئْذَانَ خَدِيجَةَ فَارْتَاعَ لِذَلِكَ، فَقَالَ " اللَّهُمَّ هَالَةَ ". قَالَتْ فَغِرْتُ فَقُلْتُ مَا تَذْكُرُ مِنْ عَجُوزٍ مِنْ عَجَائِزِ قُرَيْشٍ، حَمْرَاءِ الشِّدْقَيْنِ، هَلَكَتْ فِي الدَّهْرِ، قَدْ، أَبْدَلَكَ اللَّهُ خَيْرًا مِنْهَا
One day the Messenger of Allah was praising Khadija when Ayesha said: "O Messenger of Allah! Why do you talk all the time about that old woman who had inflamed gums? After all, Allah has given you better wives than her."
Muhammad Mustafa said: "No Ayesha! Allah never gave me a better wife than Khadija. She believed in me at a time when other people denied me. She put all her wealth at my service when other people withheld theirs from me. And what's more, Allah gave me children qpft through Khadija."
Sahih Muslim Book 31, Number 5975:'A'isha reported that Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) did not marry any other woman till her (Khadija's) death.
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 48:
Narrated Hisham's father:
Khaula bint Hakim was one of those ladies who presented themselves to the Prophet for marriage.
'Aisha said, "Doesn't a lady feel ashamed for presenting herself to a man?"
But when the Verse: "(O Muhammad) You may postpone (the turn of) any of them (your wives) that you please,' (33.51) was revealed, " '
Aisha said, 'O Allah's Apostle! I do not see, but, that your Lord hurries in pleasing you.' "
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 53:
Narrated Thabit Al-Banani:
I was with Anas while his daughter was present with him. Anas said, "A woman came to Allah's Apostle and presented herself to him, saying, 'O Allah's Apostle, have you any need for me (i.e. would you like to marry me)?'
"Thereupon Anas's daughter said, "What a shameless lady she was ! Shame! Shame!"
Anas said, "She was better than you; she had a liking for the Prophet so she presented herself for marriage to him."
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 43:
Narrated Um Habiba:
I said, "O Allah's Apostle! Marry my sister, the daughter of Abu Sufyan."
He said, "Do you like that?" I said, "Yes, for even now I am not your only wife; and the most beloved person to share the good with me is my sister."
The Prophet said, "But that is not lawful for me (i.e., to be married to two sisters at a time.)"
I said, "O Allah's Apostle! By Allah, we have heard that you want to marry Durra, the daughter of Abu Salama."
He said, "You mean the daughter of Um Salama?"
I said, "Yes."
He said, "By Allah ! Even if she were not my stepdaughter, she would not be lawful for me to marry, for she is my foster niece, for Thuwaiba has suckled me and Abu Salama; so you (wives of the Prophet) should neither present your daughters, nor your sisters to me."
When the enemy of the Prophet pbuh heard that his daughter had married Muhammad pbuh - he is reported to have reacted with satisfaction despite the fact that he was at non-stop war with the Prophet pbuh.
Abu Sufyan’s reaction to his daughters wedding
Abu Sufyan heard about his daughter’s marriage and he expressed happiness in spite of the fact that he had not yet accepted Islam .He said the Prophet (saw), was the youth who would never lose face, and always be honored.
Abu Sufyan visits his daughter Umm Habibah (ra), in Al-Madinah
When the Quraish broke the Treaty of Hudaibiyah, he Abu Sufyan came to Al-Madinah to renew the treaty. He visited his daughter; just as he was about to sit down Umm Habibah rolled up the light mattress which was spread out .He was surprised and asked her if he was worthy of the mattress, or the mattress was not worthy of him .She replied, ‘that actually it was a mattress used by a very pure and clean Prophet (saw), and no idol worshipper could sit on it, as he was unclean, hence she rolled up the mattress.’Abu Sufyan was very embarrassed and said ‘she had forgotten the manners since moving away from him. She answered;‘that the manners of Islam had taught her different values and cleanliness had a different meaning for her now’, of course Abu Sufyan was not happy with what his daughter had told him and left his daughter’s house .
She narrates; I was thankful that Allah (swt), guided me to the path of Islam and wondered how come my father as chieftain of Quraish, and of such high standards had not yet seen the truth and accepted Islam