How can I get married to someone from far away?

[Mustafa16]

I am 17, and in 11th grade, and I have one girl in mind for marriage after College....I am doing dual enrollment next year, so I will finish my 4 year degree (which I've decided to take rather than a 2 year degree), and then 3 1/2 years after high school, I'll have my 4 year college degree. My only problem is, the girl I admire lives in Jacksonville, FL, USA, while I live in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, and she still has a semester of college left after I get settled down......how do Muslims typically marry long distance?

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:


young bro , focus on your study now . When u will finish study , get a job , Insha Allah we will discuss about it .

Do u pray five times daily ? Holy Ramadan is coming . Get prepared for the holy month .

[Mustafa16]

:sl:


young bro , focus on your study now . When u will finish study , get a job , Insha Allah we will discuss about it .

Do u pray five times daily ? Holy Ramadan is coming . Get prepared for the holy month .

but I have compulsive worrying problems and need definitive answers to move on with my life? how do other muslims marry long distance?

[sister herb]

Is this a long distance? After all, you are living in the same country. Ok, quite big country. But a good thing, you don´t need to think for recidency permits and kind of paper works.

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[Mustafa16]

Is this a long distance? After all, you are living in the same country. Ok, quite big country. But a good thing, you don´t need to think for recidency permits and kind of paper works.

but sister, how do I court her if talking on the phone is haram and she lives far away??? I can not drive 5 hours back and forth from Atlanta to Jacksonville and back every weekend!! what should I do?

[anatolian]

My friend. You have a long way for marriage. Just enjoy your life...take it easy...relax

[Mustafa16]

My friend. You have a long way for marriage. Just enjoy your life...take it easy...relax

I need to find out so that I CAN relax and focus on other things...I need to get it out of the way....you all don't understand.

[sister herb]

but sister, how do I court her if talking on the phone is haram and she lives far away??? I can not drive 5 hours back and forth from Atlanta to Jacksonville and back every weekend!! what should I do?

So, then you have to learn to be patient. Why you should see her every weekend? Talk with hers family and if everything will be ok for marriage at the future, then relax, focus to your studing and wait.

When I was planning my the first marriage, distance between me and my fiance was over 3000 kilometers, calling was too expensive but at that time people still wrote letters (it was time before internet and emails). (I still have all his letters in my secret box of memories.) Plus once we had to wait one year before we were able to meet each others.

Yep, patience is gold sometimes.

[ardianto]

The only way to get married with the woman who you like is, ..... she accept you!. No matter how far she is from you. If she didn't accept you, even if she was your neighbor, you still could not marry her.

But now it's better if you focus to your study. You are still too young to get married.

[anatolian]

I need to find out so that I CAN relax and focus on other things...I need to get it out of the way....you all don't understand.

What you need to find out that you musnt marry or even think about marriage at the age of 17 while planning to study for long years. It doesnt matter if she is 5 hours away or next door..

[anatolian]

So, then you have to learn to be patient. Why you should see her every weekend? Talk with hers family and if everything will be ok for marriage at the future, then relax, focus to your studing and wait.

When I was planning my the first marriage, distance between me and my fiance was over 3000 kilometers, calling was too expensive but at that time people still wrote letters (it was time before internet and emails). (I still have all his letters in my secret box of memories.) Plus once we had to wait one year before we were able to meet each others.

Yep, patience is gold sometimes.

So inspiring story. Thanks for sharing.

[s.ali123]

Ma shaa Allah this gave me real motivation. I also have to wait almost one and half year till she finishes her studies and we can get married. :) We are engaged. May Allah make our marriage easy and blissful. Ameen!
But really patience extremely necessary during this time. As I already miss her alot :(

[Muhaba]

You can do nikah and wait while one of you completes the remaining college program and the other uses the time to look for work and plans the relocation. And after both have graduated, you do the wedding. Since it's only 6 months, it's not a long time for you to worry how you will manage it. It's normal to have a 6 month engagement period before the wedding. I don't think you got so much to worry about.

[ardianto]

You can do nikah and wait while one of you completes the remaining college program and the other uses the time to look for work and plans the relocation. And after both have graduated, you do the wedding. Since it's only 6 months, it's not a long time for you to worry how you will manage it. It's normal to have a 6 month engagement period before the wedding. I don't think you got so much to worry about.

Only six months to wedding?. Mustafa16 is 17 years old boy who still in grade 11. He still far from ready to bear responsibility in marriage. I am sure his parents will not allow him to get married in the next six months.

His problem is classical teenager problem. He is interested to a girl, but he doesn't know how to get this girl.

[noraina]

Assalamu alaykum,

Bro, I am the same age as you, and my sincere advice is that you have patience and trust in Allah SWT. Firstly, you are far too young to be able to financially support a wife - and this is the time to study and educate yourself, subhanAllah this time we have in our youth to gain foundations and knowledge will not return, so do not waste it worrying about things such as this.

And maybe you could ask your parents to discuss with the girl's parents if you are really concerned, maybe ask them to consider an engagement when you are eighteen or something?

But marriage is rizq and determined by Allah, it reminds me of this 'What is destined will reach you, even if it be underneath two mountains. What is not destined, will not reach you, even if it be between your two lips!"'

This is not really to do with you being 5 doors away or 5 hours away - if the time and situation is right, and if it is intended to be, you will marry her wherever she would be, and if it is not to be, and anything could happen bro, she may not want to get married to you or your own thoughts may change, then she could live next door and you wouldn't marry her. Just don't worry about something you have no control over.