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View Full Version : ADOPTION IN ISLAM. what do i do??



ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 12:00 PM
:salam:

i was adopted when i was 5. i dont know if i'm an orphan or...almost nothing...i'm neither interested in knowing as it will bring no good.

my question is that my grandfather,( i mean from the family that adopted me) will be along while i'm hospitalised for two weeks ( which is happening in a couple of days). is that unislamic? i mean is he my mehran? (or mehr or mahram or whatever it is)

is it allowed??
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Kiro
05-04-2016, 01:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
:salam:

i was adopted when i was 5. i dont know if i'm an orphan or...almost nothing...i'm neither interested in knowing as it will bring no good.

my question is that my grandfather,( i mean from the family that adopted me) will be along while i'm hospitalised for two weeks ( which is happening in a couple of days). is that unislamic? i mean is he my mehran? (or mehr or mahram or whatever it is)

is it allowed??
wswrb

did your adopted mother breastfeed you before you were 2?
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 01:32 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Kiro
wswrb

did your mother breastfeed you before you were 2?

edit: i'm sorry...i misunderstood...

no my adopted mother didn't. as i said before, she adopted me when i was 5
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Kiro
05-04-2016, 01:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
edit: i'm sorry...i misunderstood...

no my adopted mother didn't. as i said before, she adopted me when i was 5
If your adopted mother or someone from her family, did not breastfeed at infancy before 2 then your grandad is not your mahram
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 01:42 PM
now what do i do................................................ .................................................. .....................????

help!
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noraina
05-04-2016, 01:51 PM
Yes, your grandfather is not your mahram. Allahu'alam, I honestly wouldn't know what to advise you. I think you should really try to bring a female family member along, but if you cannot and it is a matter of your health maybe there would be more flexibility?

May Allah SWT make it easy for you,
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 01:57 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by noraina
Yes, your grandfather is not your mahram. Allahu'alam, I honestly wouldn't know what to advise you. I think you should really try to bring a female family member along, but if you cannot and it is a matter of your health maybe there would be more flexibility?

May Allah SWT make it easy for you,
this time...seriously all i can do is cry.

which way do i go??? if i dont get treatment, that is haram, if i do its going to be haram too! i seriously am so messed up right now plus i only have 2 days left!
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ardianto
05-04-2016, 02:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
this time...seriously all i can do is cry.

which way do i go??? if i dont get treatment, that is haram, if i do its going to be haram too! i seriously am so messed up right now plus i only have 2 days left!
Assalamualaikum, young girl.

You can accompanied by your grandpa in hospital, although he is actually not your mahram. Your situation is considered as case of emergency. In the case of emergency, something that forbidden can be allowed. Also, hospital is public place where there are always people (hospital staffs) who will watch you and your grandpa. Even some rooms are shared room which mean you will not only with your grandpa alone.

So, don't cry again, ramen.
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 02:18 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ardianto
Assalamualaikum, young girl.

You can accompanied by your grandpa in hospital, although he is actually not your mahram. Your situation is considered as case of emergency. In the case of emergency, something that forbidden can be allowed. Also, hospital is public place where there are always people (hospital staffs) who will watch you and your grandpa. Even some rooms are shared room which mean you will not only with your grandpa alone.

So, don't cry again, ramen.
walaikum assalam.
are you sure it's permitted in islam?
i'm still crying...i seriously dont know what to do!
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noraina
05-04-2016, 02:23 PM
Just go with your adoptive grandfather, there is some flexibility in matters such as this. Allah SWT and His religion are merciful, your health is the most important thing atm. :)
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 02:32 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by noraina
Just go with your adoptive grandfather, there is some flexibility in matters such as this. Allah SWT and His religion are merciful, your health is the most important thing atm. :)
i'm crying for a much much bigger problem. ain't that supposed to mean MY BROTHER IS MY GHAIR MAHRAN TOO??? SO I'VE BEEN LIVING WITH A GHAIR MAHRAN FOR NINE YEARS???

let alone the treatment for now! what about my brother??? theres no flexibilities or emergencies here this time are there?
am i supposed to be homeless now? what do i do??? will ALLAH swt punish me for that? if he's doing it then i'm going to hell for sure! besides, lets say he'll forgive me for that, what am i going to do later???? i cant leave them since i'm 14!


i feel like i'm going to hell............
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ardianto
05-04-2016, 02:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
walaikum assalam.
are you sure it's permitted in islam?
i'm still crying...i seriously dont know what to do!
Regarding to the situation, yes, it's permitted. I am sure. In the case of emergency, something that forbidden can be allowed if it is necessary to prevent something worse happen.
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Serinity
05-04-2016, 02:47 PM
:salam:

May Allah SWT help you. Ameen.
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 02:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Serinity
:salam:

May Allah SWT help you. Ameen.
ameen.

but for now, i need answers!
Reply

Kiro
05-04-2016, 02:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
ameen.

but for now, i need answers!
how old is your grandad?
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Kiro
05-04-2016, 02:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
i'm crying for a much much bigger problem. ain't that supposed to mean MY BROTHER IS MY GHAIR MAHRAN TOO??? SO I'VE BEEN LIVING WITH A GHAIR MAHRAN FOR NINE YEARS???

let alone the treatment for now! what about my brother??? theres no flexibilities or emergencies here this time are there?
am i supposed to be homeless now? what do i do??? will ALLAH swt punish me for that? if he's doing it then i'm going to hell for sure! besides, lets say he'll forgive me for that, what am i going to do later???? i cant leave them since i'm 14!

i feel like i'm going to hell............
It was permissible for you to live with your brother before puberty unless you were breastfed by the same mother or same female family member
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ardianto
05-04-2016, 02:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
i'm crying for a much much bigger problem. ain't that supposed to mean MY BROTHER IS MY GHAIR MAHRAN TOO??? SO I'VE BEEN LIVING WITH A GHAIR MAHRAN FOR NINE YEARS???

let alone the treatment for now! what about my brother??? theres no flexibilities or emergencies here this time are there?
am i supposed to be homeless now? what do i do??? will ALLAH swt punish me for that? if he's doing it then i'm going to hell for sure! besides, lets say he'll forgive me for that, what am i going to do later???? i cant leave them since i'm 14!


i feel like i'm going to hell............
Ramen,

for this time do not thinking about other things like your brother is ghair mahram or not. Forget that, because.that can disturb your mind and your health. Now just focus to think about your health.
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 02:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Kiro
how old is your grandad?
around 65-75
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 02:57 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Kiro
It was permissible for you to live with your brother before puberty unless you were breastfed by the same mother or same female family member
ok. i know that now. but what do i do about this **** now?????
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Kiro
05-04-2016, 03:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
around 65-75
if he is very old then it might be permissible out of necessity.
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Kiro
05-04-2016, 04:00 PM
@Saleem Khan
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 04:07 PM
honestly i feel like giving up on everything now.i'm locked in my room and i threw up blood and i cant breath properly and i feel like letting myself suffocate and die. i cant even cry loud enough now. i cant take this anymore.........

i know thats haram and i hate myself for saying that and that makes me hate myself even more which makes me want to let myself die. i'm in dire need of some good change or words or i'm afraid i wont be here tomorrow, which is good for you guys, finally you'll get rid of me!
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Serinity
05-04-2016, 04:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
honestly i feel like giving up on everything now.i'm locked in my room and i threw up blood and i cant breath properly and i feel like letting myself suffocate and die. i cant even cry loud enough now. i cant take this anymore.........

i know thats haram and i hate myself for saying that and that makes me hate myself even more which makes me want to let myself die. i'm in dire need of some good change or words or i'm afraid i wont be here tomorrow, which is good for you guys, finally you'll get rid of me!
No, don't say that. Good for us? rid of you? Never would we think of a sister like that, at least not me.

Stay strong, verily Allah SWT is with the patient.

May Allah SWT grant you sabr in these hard times. Ameen.

May Allah SWT heal you. Ameen.
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ConcealedGem
05-04-2016, 04:27 PM
Allah wants to make things easy for you, don't stress and take your grandpa with you iA. :)

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله
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ConcealedGem
05-04-2016, 04:31 PM
Also sis, I know you're going through a tough time, may Allah make it easy for you, you are strong. May Allah forgive us all and guide us, in sha Allah your trial will be a means for you to enter Jannah. ❤️

Hopefully this would be of much use.

At times of distress the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Allah's peace and blessings be upon him, would say:

-يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّوْمُ بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيْث

Transliteration: Ya Hayyu ya Qayyoomu, bi raHmatika astagheeth[u]

Translation: Oh Living, oh Sustainer, in your mercy I plead for rescue. (At-Tirmidhi)



Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would also say:

-اللّهُمَّ لا سَهْلَ إلا ما جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلا وَأنتَ تَجْعَلُ الحَزْنَ إذا شِئْتَ سَهْلا

Transliteration: Allahumma laa sahla illaa maa ja`altahu sahlan, wa anta taj`alul-hazna idhaa shi' ta sahlan.

Translation: Oh Allah, there is nothing made easy except what you make easy, and you make the difficult easy, if you wish. (Ibn Hibban and Ibn As-Sunni)


"Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured." (Qur'an, 13:28)
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lonewolf007
05-04-2016, 04:50 PM
Could some scholars take a bit of time out and answer this sisters questions and concerns over her adoption situation please.

Your it in my duas sis please don't do anything you'll regret and please wait till some knowledgable person gets back to you. May Allah make it easy for you and forgive your sins Ameen
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ramen-thelegend
05-04-2016, 05:01 PM
i'm waiting!!!

sorry for whining here...i'm back in my senses now:)

@Khalid Saifullah
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Eric H
05-04-2016, 05:04 PM
Greetings and peace be with you ramen;

honestly i feel like giving up on everything now.i'm locked in my room and i threw up blood and i cant breath properly and i feel like letting myself suffocate and die. i cant even cry loud enough now. i cant take this anymore.........
This is more than likely caused by stress and worry. Read through the 99 names of Allah, he is a merciful, just and forgiving God, you have to believe his mercy is greater than his anger.

Pray for help, wisdom, peace and serenity to do his will, you have little power to do anything else.

Are there any sisters here who can offer ramen any help in the UK?

May Allah bring blessings on you and your family.

Eric
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Serinity
05-04-2016, 05:13 PM
Are there any in wales or wherever she will be? Will anyone want to accompany her?

Any sister who'd like to sleep overnight, etc. lol. May Allah reward any sister who'd do this. Ameen.
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Saleem Khan
05-04-2016, 05:14 PM
Unless he is related to you some other way he is not your mahram.

Therefore you would have to cover yourself in front of him.

However do this with hikmah and explain the issue carefully these kind of issues are very sensitive.
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ramen-thelegend
05-05-2016, 01:44 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Saleem Khan
Unless he is related to you some other way he is not your mahram.
format_quote Originally Posted by Saleem Khan

Therefore you would have to cover yourself in front of him.

However do this with hikmah and explain the issue carefully these kind of issues are very sensitive.
i dont understand......
who is it you're talking about? my brother or grandpa?
i do what with hikmah? who do i explain this to?
am i aloud to live with my brother?
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ramen-thelegend
05-05-2016, 06:43 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Eric H
Are there any sisters here who can offer ramen any help in the UK?
format_quote Originally Posted by Serinity
Are there any in wales or wherever she will be? Will anyone want to accompany her?

Any sister who'd like to sleep overnight, etc. lol. May Allah reward any sister who'd do this. Ameen.
in neath! or maybe swansea but most probably in neath, i mean i lived in neath but its a small town so maybe ...but no its neath. i know. so?:cry:
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Serinity
05-05-2016, 09:58 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ramen-thelegend
in neath! or maybe swansea but most probably in neath, i mean i lived in neath but its a small town so maybe ...but no its neath. i know. so?:cry:
May Allah SWT grant / give in a sister the good intention to help you, and sleep overnight, give you food etc. Like a mother. Ameen. :) (I hope that dua is OK)

may Allah SWT Forgive me if I said anything wrong
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