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Regrets1
05-14-2016, 11:12 AM
Asalamu Alaikum:


I pray and everything, keep asking for forgiveness but these days I'm not at peace :( I try my best not to dwell in the past I did a good job I was over everything but I can't help it since last few days all that Iv got in my head is what "if" he's been taking pictures and vids without me knowing? Deep down somewhere I know theres nothing like that but these thoughts make me want to get in touch with him and ask whether he has something like that or not *hate myself* is it one of shaitans tricks??
Allah saved me Alhamdulillah, he loves to keep his slaves sins hidden I have faith in Allah but these thoughts are really bothering me..
Advice from sisters is needed..brothers are welcome too but please no harsh comments I don't think il be able to take them not today anyway.
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MuslimInshallah
05-14-2016, 12:00 PM
Wa alaikum assalaam my sister,


(gently) In this day and age, yes, it is possible that someone has taken pictures or videos of you without your knowing. And this is causing quite a few people (especially women, but not only) a lot of embarrassment and grief. And it is not only boyfriends/girlfriends who may do this sort of thing, but anyone from peeping toms to insincere spouses to disgruntled ex-spouses (though in the case of spouses, you may have known, but not expected it be for public viewing).

These sorts of stories are not uncommon these days, and as there is little legislation around this, people are getting away with really horrid things (at least for now, in this world). However, as we are becoming more used to the technology that makes it so easy to take a picture or film someone, we are adapting, and protections are being put in place.

For anyone suffering the fear of this (or who is actually going through this), I think what is important is to ask yourself is who is really at fault for exposing you? Muslims are not supposed to spy on, or expose the faults of others (except where there is someone being harmed). In Allah's Eyes... if someone has secretly taken pictures or videos of you... and then releases this... whose is the sin? The victim of this corruption? Or the perpetrator?

You have repented to Allah, my dear. Your very username expresses your regrets. You've changed your ways. This is what truly matters: your relationship with God. Hold onto this and hold your head high. No matter what.

And any person worth being close with, will understand that. (smile) And the others... are not worth worrying about.

(gently) I know this is easier said than done... but know that you have support. (smile) And if you have Allah, then you have Support that never fails.


May God, the One to Whom We All Return, Forgive us for the mistakes we sincerely repent... and Help us to be forgiving of others when they err.
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Regrets1
05-14-2016, 01:06 PM
Originally Posted by MuslimInshallah
Wa alaikum assalaam my sister,


(gently) In this day and age, yes, it is possible that someone has taken pictures or videos of you without your knowing. And this is causing quite a few people (especially women, but not only) a lot of embarrassment and grief. And it is not only boyfriends/girlfriends who may do this sort of thing, but anyone from peeping toms to insincere spouses to disgruntled ex-spouses (though in the case of spouses, you may have known, but not expected it be for public viewing).

These sorts of stories are not uncommon these days, and as there is little legislation around this, people are getting away with really horrid things (at least for now, in this world). However, as we are becoming more used to the technology that makes it so easy to take a picture or film someone, we are adapting, and protections are being put in place.

For anyone suffering the fear of this (or who is actually going through this), I think what is important is to ask yourself is who is really at fault for exposing you? Muslims are not supposed to spy on, or expose the faults of others (except where there is someone being harmed). In Allah's Eyes... if someone has secretly taken pictures or videos of you... and then releases this... whose is the sin? The victim of this corruption? Or the perpetrator?

You have repented to Allah, my dear. Your very username expresses your regrets. You've changed your ways. This is what truly matters: your relationship with God. Hold onto this and hold your head high. No matter what.

And any person worth being close with, will understand that. (smile) And the others... are not worth worrying about.

(gently) I know this is easier said than done... but know that you have support. (smile) And if you have Allah, then you have Support that never fails.


May God, the One to Whom We All Return, Forgive us for the mistakes we sincerely repent... and Help us to be forgiving of others when they err.
I'm in so much pain today I can't take it:( I'm crying since I woke up keep getting panic attacks, To make myself feel better I keep saying if he had anything like that he would've got in touch and tried blackmailing me but he hasn't so maybe I'm overthinking or maybe he does have it :( even if I get in touch with him he won't accept he's got something like that and I won't believe what he says anyway so no point asking him..in his last text he did say he wants to marry me so maybe I shoul marry him just because of the thoughts I'm having? There is no proof whether he has something like that or not..and if he doesn't then il be stupid to marry him and ruin my life..I'm sorry I'm answering my own questions Iv gone crazy:(
I know it's a test and what happened was a test too..faith in Allah is what keeps me going I don't ask for death or anything all I pray is that I die when Allah is pleased with me may Allah accept my repentance. I'm sorry maybe I shouldn't have come here talking about this but other than crying to Allah and asking for forgiveness I can't speak to anyone I did feel like talking to people I know but I didn't as I don't want to expose my sins I'm keeping everything to myself:( how can I find out if he has anything or not?? Or should I just ignore these thoughts?? Worrying and thinking of something that maybe isn't even true is a sign of weak imaan?? Wish I could just go and hide somewhere..
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ardianto
05-14-2016, 02:39 PM
Wa'alaikumsalam.

I am a brother, not sister. But, may I give an input from a man point of view?.

You will know did he take your picture or not, when you accept the someone new. Few men indeed, are not willing if the women who ever close with them accept someone new. A man like this could do something bad to make that someone new hesitate to marry her. But mostly of men not like this. They are just thinking simple "If she get someone new, I must get someone new too". Hopefully he is among the majority.

How if your ex is not among the majority, he really took your picture/video, then do something bad when you accept someone new?. It's better if you honest about your past to your future husband. In Shaa Allah he will understand.

Then, should you marry him because you afraid he will do something bad?. No!. Do not force yourself to marry someone you don't want to marry because you will regret later.

And my advice is, when you are in contact with him you should not ask did he take your picture or not. Probably you are just overthinking about it.
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Regrets1
05-14-2016, 03:43 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
Wa'alaikumsalam.

I am a brother, not sister. But, may I give an input from a man point of view?.

You will know did he take your picture or not, when you accept the someone new. Few men indeed, are not willing if the women who ever close with them accept someone new. A man like this could do something bad to make that someone new hesitate to marry her. But mostly of men not like this. They are just thinking simple "If she get someone new, I must get someone new too". Hopefully he is among the majority.

How if your ex is not among the majority, he really took your picture/video, then do something bad when you accept someone new?. It's better if you honest about your past to your future husband. In Shaa Allah he will understand.

Then, should you marry him because you afraid he will do something bad?. No!. Do not force yourself to marry someone you don't want to marry because you will regret later.

And my advice is, when you are in contact with him you should not ask did he take your picture or not. Probably you are just overthinking about it.
Thank you. When I said to him I don't wana have anything to do with him after everything he's done he said sorry and asked for another chance as he never said he has anything on him means he doesn't have anything like that??
Once I move to another city he won't even know where Iv gone so he won't ever know if Iv got married or not..so in that case il never know if he has anything as he won't know about life he won't be in touch so he won't be able to blackmail me..I hope and pray there is nothing like that but if he does and he never tells me can't he just put it on net?? I get answer for one question and another question arises I'm simply torturing myself..wish I see a sign or something so I know he hasn't got no such thing on him so I can live peacefully :(
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piXie
05-14-2016, 04:20 PM
:salamext:

It is highly unlikely that he has any pictures of you. Please sister, you need to stop worrying and wrecking yourself over "what if's". May Allah make it easy for you. Aameen.
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MuslimInshallah
05-14-2016, 04:31 PM
Originally Posted by Regrets1
I'm in so much pain today I can't take it:( I'm crying since I woke up keep getting panic attacks, To make myself feel better I keep saying if he had anything like that he would've got in touch and tried blackmailing me but he hasn't so maybe I'm overthinking or maybe he does have it :( even if I get in touch with him he won't accept he's got something like that and I won't believe what he says anyway so no point asking him..in his last text he did say he wants to marry me so maybe I shoul marry him just because of the thoughts I'm having? There is no proof whether he has something like that or not..and if he doesn't then il be stupid to marry him and ruin my life..I'm sorry I'm answering my own questions Iv gone crazy:(
I know it's a test and what happened was a test too..faith in Allah is what keeps me going I don't ask for death or anything all I pray is that I die when Allah is pleased with me may Allah accept my repentance. I'm sorry maybe I shouldn't have come here talking about this but other than crying to Allah and asking for forgiveness I can't speak to anyone I did feel like talking to people I know but I didn't as I don't want to expose my sins I'm keeping everything to myself:( how can I find out if he has anything or not?? Or should I just ignore these thoughts?? Worrying and thinking of something that maybe isn't even true is a sign of weak imaan?? Wish I could just go and hide somewhere..

Assalaamu alaikum, my dear,

(gently) If he is the sort of man who would put images of you on the internet... how would marrying him protect you? (sigh) You'd just be giving him more access to you, and therefore more potential for problems in the future...

My dear, please try to hold onto the positive: you're getting away from him. And without having to go through any kind of divorce proceedings, or worrying about your children being harmed, or any financial worries... (smile) Thanks to your iman and perceptiveness, you didn't get too entangled with this man.

And no matter what he does or does not do, you are a decent person. And probably there is nothing to be concerned about. Trust in God, my dear. Let go of this fear, it cannot help you in any way. It just enslaves you to dark thoughts and puts your peace of mind in another person's power. And potentially opens you up to greater harm.

Hugs, my dear. Forget about him, and accept the caring of the people around you. (smile) Including me. Hugs again.


May God, the Gentle, Help us have the strength to let go.
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Regrets1
05-14-2016, 05:15 PM
Originally Posted by piXie
:salamext:

It is highly unlikely that he has any pictures of you. Please sister, you need to stop worrying and wrecking yourself over "what if's". May Allah make it easy for you. Aameen.
Walaikum Salaam:

Sis the thing is I had doubts on him b4 and they all happened to come real:( that's why it's worrying me now what if this doubt is not just a doubt but reality??
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Regrets1
05-14-2016, 05:35 PM
Originally Posted by MuslimInshallah
Assalaamu alaikum, my dear,

(gently) If he is the sort of man who would put images of you on the internet... how would marrying him protect you? (sigh) You'd just be giving him more access to you, and therefore more potential for problems in the future...

My dear, please try to hold onto the positive: you're getting away from him. And without having to go through any kind of divorce proceedings, or worrying about your children being harmed, or any financial worries... (smile) Thanks to your iman and perceptiveness, you didn't get too entangled with this man.

And no matter what he does or does not do, you are a decent person. And probably there is nothing to be concerned about. Trust in God, my dear. Let go of this fear, it cannot help you in any way. It just enslaves you to dark thoughts and puts your peace of mind in another person's power. And potentially opens you up to greater harm.

Hugs, my dear. Forget about him, and accept the caring of the people around you. (smile) Including me. Hugs again.


May God, the Gentle, Help us have the strength to let go.
Walaikum Salaam:

Thank you sis, what you say does put my heart at ease. I'm worried but I still do try taking everything in a positive way because this is helping me strengthen my relationship with Allah swt the way I try my best to do everything halal and the way I cry b4 Allah now is like never b4, So yea il take it as a blessing:) won't let the doubts weaken my Imaan. In sha Allah.
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