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Serinity
05-27-2016, 04:48 PM
:salam:

I am making this thread cuz I really feel like I am evil, and no I am not attention seeking.

Firstly let me give a bit of background:

Before I was a practicing Muslim, I was a calm shy person with decent manners. I was patient, but I could become annoyed easily. Allah SWT saved me from various sins, and showered me with mercy. I started praying and becoming pracitcing, not knowing much of Islam, but only that it enjoins good and forbids evil.

So before practicing Islam, there was this kafir who always bullied / mocked me. I got angry once and hit him once, I hit my one of my relatives. It made me guilty, and I cried, I cry very easily sometimes.

So now when I practiced Islam I always thought good etc. And then, Allah SWT tested me once again with this kafir, and I didn't hurt him, I was very patient etc. and he continued, so I called my teacher and told her how it was, etc. So we established a meeting where she reprimanded this kafir (she is herself a kafir) but she was kind, etc. So I thought, he did much wrong to me, he hit me, and stuff. So I thought of what The Prophet SAW would do, without knowing much except that he SAW was moral.

So I thought " I know this is hard, I hate what he did, but I'll choose to forgive him" as to follow the Prophet Muhammad SAW's example.

I could demand justice, but rather I forgave, I became guilty of all the bad I've done, etc. and repented to Allah SWT. Without demanding anything from anyone for the hurt they've done to me.

So it went good, and I thought to not hate others, it never passed my mind to do so, as Allah SWT knows best their state, etc.

Now, 1 year ahead, and I learnt more about Islam, I felt myself becoming more regular with prayers. But one thing seemed to happen.. my good character seemed to fade, the more knowledge I got, the more confused I became, I began to doubt myself, Islam, etc.

I read the Quran and I liked it.. And then I chatted with someone and they told me a harsh Islam, etc. I couldn't take this harsh harsh Islam, so I ignored the thoughts, but they built, and I tried to stay good, but the doubts came.

And then the verses stuck with me, the verses that makes me feel harsh, rude, and stuff like that. I began to dislike my character.

So I did a self-analysis on myself and asked myself "would you convert to Islam if serinity did dawah to you?" the reply was "no". and this is confirmed by my brother who says:

"you do not represent Islam very well, looking at you, I wouldn't even want to start."

So I thought "why do people even come to Islam, what attracts them? What attracted me?" the reply was "good character".

So what do I do wrong?? I know, I am harsh, rude, self-righteous, bigoted, hateful, etc. I knew I was wrong.. But The ayats kept me from becoming good, although I knew that The Quran says the Prophet Muhammad SAW is the best of creation with high esteemed character.

I know Islam says to repel evil with good, and I did, but then verses came, and I indulged myself in issues of Jihad, Al wala wal bara..

And I started to think "does becoming righteous mean becoming isolated, hateful, and unapproachable?" I know I was wrong.. But I couldn't get these thoughts out of my head..

So I started to think "I rather be moral, and be a sinner, than be righteous and harsh." It hurt me, to think like this, but no matter what, the verses kept coming to me, although there are verses speaking of good and to be good, so I thought it is out of context..

So I started to be good again, but whenever I tried to intent good, the verses came to me, and it made me guilty, and I felt imprisoned..

I feel self-righteous, bigoted, hateful, imprisoned etc. I kept saying "I know I am interpreting Islam wrong, for how come people find it beautiful and not me?!"

I couldn't see the mercy, peace, and serenity in Islam anymore. But I know Allah SWT is Merciful, The source of all Peace, etc. But something made me think Islam is a cult-like religion. Be harsh to kuffar, be merciful to the muslims..

But I know I am wrong, cause this is all out of context..

So I ask, what do I do? How do I escape this cycle of trying to become good, but being smashed down because of this? It pains me.

This is painful, and I know I am getting something wrong - but I can't seem to puzzle this together.

I try to be wise and moral, and use my logic, but whenever I do, The ayats come and I get stuck! I thought of blaming Islam - But I know this is wrong.

So I blamed myself - but this feels like cutting and stabbing my own heart.

I really don't want to give up, so how do I puzzle this together? I want to love Allah SWT, but something is preventing me from loving Him SWT more than I do now.

And Allah SWT knows best.
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EgyptPrincess
05-27-2016, 05:18 PM
I don't know why you have so much trouble with this. I honestly think maybe you should see an Islamic counsellor to discuss these issues.

Do you have any friends at college? I think you're isolating yourself more than what is required and you seem incredibly lonely. Your country is not exactly a Muslim majority country so perhaps you don't have many Muslim friends?

From your posts it seems that you don't even want to sit next to a non believer or even study with them. This level of isolation will ultimately lead you to becoming a very bitter and very angry person, kinda like that Abu Haleema guy. Incredibly pious man but very aggrieved. You'll have achieved nothing but becoming a horrible person.

Inshallah try to use logic and reason to deal with everyday social situations and not to refer to an ayat every single time you have to interact with kufr.
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 05:20 PM
That is what I will do. I usually like loneliness, but I like to communicate with people.

I don't mind studying with a kafir, but Islam prevents me.. Or so I feel.
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EgyptPrincess
05-27-2016, 05:24 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
That is what I will do. I usually like loneliness, but I like to communicate with people.

I don't mind studying with a kafir, but Islam prevents me.. Or so I feel.
If you really find it this impossible to be near them, I highly suggest that you finish college, do your programming and then move to Saudi Arabia or something where there is little to no Muslims.

Otherwise you'll just have to accept that you will be living amongst the non believers so you should probably learn to just deal with it.
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 05:26 PM
What would I do in KSA?

If everyone just migrated to a Muslim country and avoided contact with kafirs 100% that is just unreasonable, and not what Allah SWT says, .

Besides, are you implying Islam is harsh and rigid?
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EgyptPrincess
05-27-2016, 05:34 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
What would I do in KSA?

If everyone just migrated to a Muslim country and avoided contact with kafirs 100% that is just unreasonable, and not what Allah SWT says, .

Besides, are you implying Islam is harsh and rigid?
You hate the kufr so much so move to a country where there are almost no kufr.

Simple solution :)
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 05:35 PM
So anyone who actually helps and doesn't assume about me?
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 05:55 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

I think you were brainwashed, basically. It seems that you try so much to contain your emotions so now they are coming out as rage. It's OK to cry. It's OK to be upset. It's OK to care. Don't let your heart turn stone cold. You seem like an introvert where it's that you like to spend time with people, but you feel most comfortable alone. I'm like this too, but you have to realize that there's a difference between being introverted and being angry. You have both and those are not a good mixture. You have to be at peace with yourself and content, which you are not. This isn't an islamic issue, it's a personal issue. By being angry and bottling up your emotions, you focus your attention on the things that resonate with your feelings (eg. that kaafirs are bad), instead of seeing the beauty of the things around you and learning about your religion with a content heart. I do think you have to get out more and be around positive influences and seek activities that can have a positive impact on you. You're putting yourself in a box and of course this is going to stunt your spiritual and mental growth. You need to breathe.
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azc
05-27-2016, 06:02 PM
Get in touch with tabligi jamat .hope you'll be benefited.
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 06:02 PM
I feel it is Islam that makes me like this, before practicing Islam, I was very calm. Now I feel very hateful - I don't like it.
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Umm Abed
05-27-2016, 06:13 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I feel it is Islam that makes me like this, before practicing Islam, I was very calm. Now I feel very hateful - I don't like it.
The problem is that your doubts has re-surfaced again. Say NO to doubts, and you will be okay. There's no need to feel hateful; just see that you are practising. You know you cant changed the world, but you can change yourself.
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 06:15 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
And then I chatted with someone and they told me a harsh Islam, etc. I couldn't take this harsh harsh Islam, so I ignored the thoughts, but they built, and I tried to stay good, but the doubts came.
This is why you are like this. Someone brainwashed you.

Islam is a beautiful religion, and you clearly said that you loved it until you met this person. If this negative person is the only version of Islam you were exposed to, anyone would start to feel bothered. It's even worse when you already have a lot of sadness and anger in your heart especially towards kaafirs.

You're a smart kid mashallah, but you seem to be a bit empty inside. Even if you resorted back to "before practicing" you'd still have the negative feelings deep down inside, but I think they are just manifesting into something worse because you don't have anything to comfort you. What you had (loving islam) was ruined because of an individual's sad attempt to educate you.
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 06:17 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
This is why you are like this. Someone brainwashed you.

Islam is a beautiful religion, and you clearly said that you loved it until you met this person. If this negative person is the only version of Islam you were exposed to, anyone would start to feel bothered. It's even worse when you already have a lot of sadness and anger in your heart especially towards kaafirs.

You're a smart kid mashallah, but you seem to be a bit empty inside. Even if you resorted back to "before practicing" you'd still have the negative feelings deep down inside, but I think they are just manifesting into something worse because you don't have anything to comfort you. What you had (loving islam) was ruined because of an individual's sad attempt to educate you.
Now I just want to follow my logic, my brain, but then this reminds me:

Those who follow anything other than the Quran, or prefers to follow anything over The Quran, is a kafir.

So what do I do? I want to use my brain!

I have this anger and hate because from twhat I see now, that is what Islam wants from me - to hate kuffar.

I feel enslaved to this harsh Islam. I just want to be that guy I was. I can do it, I can become like I was 1 year ago. But this feeling.. It feels like betraying Allah SWT.

I will just reset my memory and knowledge and start from 1 year ago. Tho it feels like betraying Allah SWT. But I hope HE Swt will forgive me.
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 06:23 PM
So, I know Islam says to use your brain.

So I will use my brain, and I will use the wisdom I have. If I go against Islam, then may Allah SWT forgive me. Ameen.
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 06:26 PM
You hated kuffar from before because you were bullied. You have unresolved anger.

If you hate something so much that it affects your day to day life and your iman, then your hatred is futile.

It's likeee in the movies, when someone hates someone sooo badly and so they spend their entire life create this huge revenge plot, and you just sit there thinking this dude just wasted his whole life cuz of some stupid idiot. You're giving the people you hate power over you. Have you even completed reading the Quran?
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 06:28 PM
No I have not completed my reading of the Quran.

Besides I forgave that kafir, and I didn't feel like this after this.

And no I don't hate kafirs, I feel Islam makes me hate kafirs. Prob baseless doubt.
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sister herb
05-27-2016, 06:36 PM
How do you can say that it´s Islam who wants you to hate kafirs? I never haven´t had same kind of feelings and I think many others too haven´t had it. Ok, we don´t take our habits or life styles or believes from them but why to hate them? I don´t find from kind of idea any sense and I think you have found this idea from somewhere else than from Islam.
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 06:37 PM
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

If you want to fight for your iman you have to seek knowledge until your doubts and your heart is cleared up. Stick with the basics, speak with people of knowledge (scholars) and stay away from the people who put these negative thoughts in your head. If you don't like kaafirs, so what? But no one is really forcing you to hate anyone. Do your own thing and don't worry about them. Find good Muslim brothers to hang out with, there's no point in obsessing over these little thoughts.
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 06:42 PM
Fine, I will follow my version of Islam, how I see Islam. I will drop this version I got from someone, it ain't helping me in the least.

Screw the people, I follow what I believe is Islam. IF Allah SWT wants to punish me, so be it.

If I go against verses, then may Allah SWT forgive me. Ameen. I can't keep checking, and I won't.
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 06:54 PM
May Allah guide you brother. The Quran is meant to make us feel at peace. This individual negatively impacted you so stay away from him. You were already reading the Quran and feeling good in your heart and soul, so continue to do what you were doing before, and forget everything this individual has told you. As always we are here to help you inshallah.

Don't feel as if you will be punished, I think you punished yourself enough for no reason! lol. There's nothing you really have to carry out physically other than the five pillars, so put your focus on that :) As you learn everything will fall into place inshallah.
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Regrets1
05-27-2016, 06:56 PM
Walaikum salaam.


Brother your not evil, trying your best to be on the right path MashAllah. Youv made many improvements..Islam is all about peace..

I think your not receiving the right advice and answers regarding Islam, your not getting information from best of people. Read Quran and Hadith, and when you don't understand something then ask the scholars..Islam doesn't teach hate and you know it..you should try your best and be at best behaviour when around people Muslims and non Muslim..if Islam was about hating the kafirs then there won't be no kafirs left we all would be killing them..but it's not like that..so don't think Islam is the reason for your hatred towards kafirs..

Version of Islam?? There's only one version of Islam brother and that's all about peace. Don't follow what people say, follow the Quran..your still young and learning don't overthink..all you should know is Islam does not teach hate and if people tell you otherwise then ask for proof and when they provide it make sure Youv read whole ayah to understand the meaning.

Lets say your talking to someone and they say Islam says we must hate kafirs and kill them..you ask for proof and they just make you read the bit where it says "kill them" you won't go hating and killing people would u? Obviously no..so reading and understanding the ayah is must.

May Allah swt help you. Ameen.
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 07:06 PM
ok, we shouldn't hate the kuffar personally. Nor do we have the right to hate, kill, or defame people for what they believe, yeah?

we are all children of Adam AS, and if we become harsh and ruthless, we are just helping shaytaan in deviating mankind, right?
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 07:30 PM
Originally Posted by Regrets1
Walaikum salaam.


Brother your not evil, trying your best to be on the right path MashAllah. Youv made many improvements..Islam is all about peace..

I think your not receiving the right advice and answers regarding Islam, your not getting information from best of people. Read Quran and Hadith, and when you don't understand something then ask the scholars..Islam doesn't teach hate and you know it..you should try your best and be at best behaviour when around people Muslims and non Muslim..if Islam was about hating the kafirs then there won't be no kafirs left we all would be killing them..but it's not like that..so don't think Islam is the reason for your hatred towards kafirs..

Version of Islam?? There's only one version of Islam brother and that's all about peace. Don't follow what people say, follow the Quran..your still young and learning don't overthink..all you should know is Islam does not teach hate and if people tell you otherwise then ask for proof and when they provide it make sure Youv read whole ayah to understand the meaning.

Lets say your talking to someone and they say Islam says we must hate kafirs and kill them..you ask for proof and they just make you read the bit where it says "kill them" you won't go hating and killing people would u? Obviously no..so reading and understanding the ayah is must.

May Allah swt help you. Ameen.
Thanks sis, one question, I have known some kuffar, their lifestyle is unislamic, but I don't hate them for that, why? cause they don't know. Why would I hate someone for doing something, they don't think is wrong?

I hate the unislamic lifestyle, but I don't turn to the person and hate..

What if Allah SWT hated us for committing a sin we don't know?

Secondly there is a verse saying you can not show affection to those who oppose Allah SWT, and take you out of your homes, etc. my assumption is that those people are those who do war with Allah SWT?

I mean, I may hate the kufr of a kafir, but I may like their character - and if you like their character you like a part of them -thus you like them, but that doesn't mean I like their kufr. I hate it. But why should I hate the kafir for their kufr? Unless their kufr turns them to do war with Allah SWT and cause chaos.

If I was to work in an environment with kafirs, I can't have this harshness in my heart, or hate for people. Can I work with kafirs, and like their character - in effect liking them - but hate their kufr.

It is like this you may hate something about the person, but his character may be good. It'd be unreasonable to be rude to a nice kafir, which in turn will turn him against Islam.

So, this is what puzzles me, Muslim men can marry a kafir amongst the people of the Book. you have to hate their kufr, but in the marriage, is one prohibited from loving that kafir as a person?

In terms of working with kuffar, I can't work with a harsh heart. And I know this is not Islam. How can a heart filled with the love of Allah SWT and The Prophet Muhammad SAW, have room for hatred and exhausting judgmentality?

btw, a kafir may turn muslim and we may turn kafir at death. so we should never judge and make them seem lowly. Cause they are not, they are not animals, they are honored children of Adam AS......

Sorry for the ramble. I will follow your advice, and see Islam in a more positive light. Islam is all about spreading peace. Right?
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 07:30 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
ok, we shouldn't hate the kuffar personally. Nor do we have the right to hate, kill, or defame people for what they believe, yeah?

we are all children of Adam AS, and if we become harsh and ruthless, we are just helping shaytaan in deviating mankind, right?
Right. You can be the positive influence in someone's life that leads them to Islam. You can't do that if you have hatred in your heart. We should want guidance for everyone just like we ask Allah to guide us. There's 2 ways to look at it, either we wish the worst on someone, hate them, treat them badly, and because of it they move far away from Islam and die as kaafirs, or we treat them with kindness and teach them about our peaceful way of life and they become our brothers in Islam and better servants to Allah. Which do you think is better? Even if a kaafir wanted to do harm to you, you have the right to fight back and protect yourself, but only in defense. You never attack anyone who has not physically attacked you, and even then you can control your anger and be patient in hopes that Allah softens their heart. We will always live with people who have a different belief system than us, and that's ok. We have to only focus on our own iman first, and then helping our family and friends, and so on..but it always begins with ourselves.
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 07:46 PM
I understand all this, and it makes sense and I agree with you, Charisma.

I have honestly been brainwashed with this harsh Islam. And I don't think that is what true Islam is. Cause harshness is NOT what brought me to Islam, so what makes me think that being harsh towards them, makes them turn to us?

JazakAllah khayr sister. I understand, I am not deaf. I probably tried to inter or extrapolate a view that is contrary to Islam, that is why perhaps there is soo much chaos inside of me. 2 conflicting views of Islam, the original I had, made me love Islam, etc. The second, makes me feel miserable.

And Allah SWT doesn't want misery for me. So I go with my original Islam.. The Islam Allah SWT showed me, not the people.
I choose the Islam that gives me energy, and grants me hope, that which makes sense.

when I was 7 years old I read the Quran, and I loved it. I should try that again..
I don't like extremism, and full on Bara, it is unlivable, and anything in its extreme will destroy me. As The Prophet SAW said, do not go to extremes, as you won't be able to cope with it for too long. (a hadith)
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 07:48 PM
I have a story to tell you lol..

When I was much younger, there was a brother who inquired about Islam (he was nonMuslim at the time). I was also still learning about Islam because I was very young and so intrigued with it. He'd always ask me questions and I'd always answer them as much as I could. I wasn't harsh or mean to him, but rather I was patient and treated him with kindness because that's just how I was you know? One day we were talking about brotherhood, and I think he loved the concept of being a part of an Ummah that looks out for each other and stuff, so he took his shahada. I was so happy I cried! He said that he was so happy to now consider me a sister, and it was really beautiful to hear him say that. He also thought about his parents and said that because Islam holds parents in such high regard that he plans on taking care of them himself when they reach old age. He was taught that parents are put in a "home" where they are taken care of by others and neglected.

Sometimes these moments don't happen often enough because the world is rapidly changing, but you have no idea how many people in this world are lost and just hoping to find guidance. They may have never heard about Islam, so we have to be wary of how we represent Islam because sometimes our actions and our words are the only exposure they get, and we want that experience to be positive, no?

Originally Posted by Serinity
What if Allah SWT hated us for committing a sin we don't know?
If you do something that you didn't know about, then Allah excuses you for it! He's the Most merciful! Even if you commit a sin you do know about Allah will forgive you if you repent. Don't ever doubt Allah's mercy. May Allah guide us all ameen.

You know all the real answers to the questions you are asking deep down inside. You don't have any reason to hate anyone right now. You're not in war, you're not in a state of oppression, there's nothing harming you brother. So be at peace with yourself inshallah. If it helps read the tafsir of the Quran it will make a lot of the ayahs clear, and finish the entirety of the Quran so you can get a better understanding.
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 07:50 PM
Exactly!! Anyone who goes beyond the boundaries of Islam is not considered a Muslim. You are getting it perfectly :)
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 07:55 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
I have a story to tell you lol..

When I was much younger, there was a brother who inquired about Islam (he was nonMuslim at the time). I was also still learning about Islam because I was very young and so intrigued with it. He'd always ask me questions and I'd always answer them as much as I could. I wasn't harsh or mean to him, but rather I was patient and treated him with kindness because that's just how I was you know? One day we were talking about brotherhood, and I think he loved the concept of being a part of an Ummah that looks out for each other and stuff, so he took his shahada. I was so happy I cried! He said that he was so happy to now consider me a sister, and it was really beautiful to hear him say that. He also thought about his parents and said that because Islam holds parents in such high regard that he plans on taking care of them himself when they reach old age. He was taught that parents are put in a "home" where they are taken care of by others and neglected.

Sometimes these moments don't happen often enough because the world is rapidly changing, but you have no idea how many people in this world are lost and just hoping to find guidance. They may have never heard about Islam, so we have to be wary of how we represent Islam because sometimes our actions and our words are the only exposure they get, and we want that experience to be positive, no?



If you do something that you didn't know about, then Allah excuses you for it! He's the Most merciful! Even if you commit a sin you do know about Allah will forgive you if you repent. Don't ever doubt Allah's mercy. May Allah guide us all ameen.

You know all the real answers to the questions you are asking deep down inside. You don't have any reason to hate anyone right now. You're not in war, you're not in a state of oppression, there's nothing harming you brother. So be at peace with yourself inshallah. If it helps read the tafsir of the Quran it will make a lot of the ayahs clear, and finish the entirety of the Quran so you can get a better understanding.
I understand now! THANKS.

I will from now on stop being in isolation and show my character. Show kindness and love (is that permissible?)

IF they ask:

Does Islam allow killing of kafirs?

I say: Islam doesn't allow killings of innocent, be they muslim or kafir.. (Many questions about killings lol)

Anyways, Alhamdulillah, that story really opened my eyes!

It is ok to show compassion and mercy to kafir and love them as a human? (I hate their kufr obv)

I feel more motivated now in being good. I feel if we become harsh and stuff, we are falling into the traps of the enemies yeah? (a verse popped up being harsh about kafirs, but I assume it doesn't apply here.)
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 08:08 PM
Yes of course you have to show kindness and compassion. Mashallah I can tell you are someone filled with love and there is nothing wrong with sharing that and being kind with others, as long as they are not harming or hurting you in anyway. We should only stay away from the disbelievers that will influence us badly. For example, you don't want to be around someone who drinks constantly and tries to pressure you into drinking right? If we cannot help them, then we stay away from someone like that and go our separate ways. We do not harm them. And it's so natural to hate kufr because we don't want to see anyone misguided and worshipping anything other than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, but this is life right? And it's ok.

Allah doesn't allow the killing of anyone unless you are in a state of clear war. Even in war there are rules in Islam subhanallah. Muslims aren't allowed to kill children, women, or civilians. We only fight those who are fighting us in the state of war. But alhemdulilah we are not in a state of war :)
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 08:20 PM
JazakAllah khayr you remind myself of myself lol.

we obv hate kufr, but this should NOT turn us into hating them, we should feel sorry for them and want them outside of that.

I know this is a random question: But is it Islamically OK for me to love a kafir for their manners? Good manners? I hate their kufr, and I honestly feel sorry and not hateful for their state. I don't see how hating kuffar for their kufr will rid them of kufr, tbh.

I think I am confusing love with compassion and feeling sorry. I don't think it is haram to feel sorry, show compassion, understanding and kindness. Like I feel sorry for a kafir with good manners to go astray. I always like to seek out the good in people, rather than seek out the bad.

I always envisioned myself in war fighting for Islam and not wanting blodshed but wanted to purify myself and wanted Islam for my enemies.

I read about the Prophet SAW and it gave me this idea that at war, do not let the hatred of the kuffar drive you to transgression. Wish for them what you wish for yourself. Of course at war you can't be soft.

The Prophet SAW only wanted Islam for people. And I have not read where The Prophet SAW intentionally attacked a person outside of war. Such kindness.. Please correct me if I am wrong..

Allahu alam.
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 08:38 PM
The prophet pbuh had a mission to guide people and He never attacked anyone without purpose. He was the kindest person and even his enemies trusted him because of how honest he was subhanallah.

I met this lady once who was soo sweet and the way she told me stories and talked to me about how she helps kids, I had assumed she was a Muslimah, so I asked her "how long have you been Muslim for??" She was like no honey I'm not Muslim (I think she was Christian or Catholic I can't remember) ;D;D But she had such good manners. I hope that she became a Muslimah, she was married to a Muslim Arab. If someone is well-mannered and we like to be around them I think that's a reflection on us as well, that we either hope to be like them or want to associate ourselves with people who have good character. I love being around people who have good manners and character whether they are Muslim or not, and you shouldn't feel bad about liking someone because of them treating you kindly, but rather we should be thankful and be kind in return.
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 08:41 PM
I think you are a great person mashallah. You just need to have people who are like-minded and will remind you of the beautiful things in Islam. Even if you have no one like that, it is better to be alone and studying the correct Islam, than to be friends with someone who wants to lead you astray and have you hating everyone around you. That would be such a miserable life to live.
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Serinity
05-27-2016, 09:01 PM
I know I've had this question asked before, but I am of the impression one can't befriend a kafir? Or take them as awliyah.


Allahu alam.
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*charisma*
05-27-2016, 09:17 PM
You can befriend them, but you can't be soooo close to them that they have negative influence over you. Like for example, sometimes nonMuslims don't have the same respect for their own parents as we do for our parents, or they don't regard them in such a high status. So say one day you're complaining about your mom because she took away your games or whatever, and you confided in your friend and ranted to him, but instead of your friend giving you sound advice and telling you to forgive your mom etc, he says something like "Wow your mom has problems, at least when you're 18 you can move out and not have to worry about her," making you feel resentful towards your mom because that's the way he'd treat his own mom. So there's a difference when it comes to culture, religion, and things like that, so we can be kind to them, befriend them, etc, but we always have to be aware that during our darkest moments we should have a TRUE, WISE friend who can take us out of it and help guide us back to Allah, and sometime a nonMuslim wouldn't really know what to do or how to help you in the way you really need to be helped Islamically. There are some nonMuslims who can be helpful and even remind us of our Islamic duties, but it's soo rare to find someone like that and it's better even then to just treat them kindly but not be too close to them incase they make a mistake in advising us.
Reply

Serinity
05-27-2016, 09:43 PM
I see, well I occasionally like to play videogames with them. :D or just talk and stuff.

I read somewhere that you can't be friends at all. But I guess that is too extreme, right?

Anyways, I know who to not take as friends.
Reply

*charisma*
05-27-2016, 09:56 PM
Yes that is too extreme, and Allah knows best. I think you have good judgement mashallah, don't be afraid to use it.

Hopefully you feel better now and I don't want to hear more about this extremism stuff ok? You're wayyy better than that! :D Allah gave you hidayah mashallah, so in your heart you felt so conflicted about all the wrong things you were told, and maybe that was Allah's way of bringing you back to the right path. Because imagine if you had felt comfortable with those thoughts and continued on with life :O subhanallah. May Allah guide us all ameen. Always say alhemdulilah bro and keep asking Allah for hidayah. It's so easy to fall off the wrong path when we let the wrong people get into our heads :heated:
Reply

muslimah_B
05-27-2016, 10:10 PM
Originally Posted by *charisma*
Yes that is too extreme, and Allah knows best. I think you have good judgement mashallah, don't be afraid to use it.

Hopefully you feel better now and I don't want to hear more about this extremism stuff ok? You're wayyy better than that! :D Allah gave you hidayah mashallah, so in your heart you felt so conflicted about all the wrong things you were told, and maybe that was Allah's way of bringing you back to the right path. Because imagine if you had felt comfortable with those thoughts and continued on with life :O subhanallah. May Allah guide us all ameen. Always say alhemdulilah bro and keep asking Allah for hidayah. It's so easy to fall off the wrong path when we let the wrong people get into our heads :heated:
I was just reading the whole thread and had to smile alhamdulilah.
Im also for no more of the extremism talks from you serenity bro LOL , i remember having a lengthy convo just about jihad, which alhamdulilah he took on board very good and started to understand, maybe i didnt explain it in the best of ways but all your explanations where very on point MashAllah, may brother serenity and others benifit from it if they had any doubts on these matters, which seems to be a problem for quite a few people more recently,

I was also told of how certains brothers refused to give dawah, answer questions or explain islam untill the person took their shahada, i honestly was flabbergasted and felt so sad as to the state of some muslims these days SubhanAllah
Reply

Serinity
05-27-2016, 11:17 PM
Don't worry brothers and sisters. I find the doubts I have baseless. I see no proof to hate kuffar and it is exhausting and not in my character. It clouds fair judgment etc. Not good lol.

I'll just be that happy muslim I was once! With a positive attitude towards Islam - seeing it as peaceful.
Reply

muslimah_B
05-27-2016, 11:36 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
Don't worry brothers and sisters. I find the doubts I have baseless. I see no proof to hate kuffar and it is exhausting and not in my character. It clouds fair judgment etc. Not good lol.

I'll just be that happy muslim I was once! With a positive attitude towards Islam - seeing it as peaceful.
Heres some lectures that could help be of help in sha Allah
Keep steadfast brother, the fact your asking for help and have those doubts that shadow the goodness shows your on the right path alhamdulilah :)

https://youtu.be/SycB-QnlrfI

https://youtu.be/KV-vOa1GLB0

https://youtu.be/L-D1BQp1Gss
Reply

popsthebuilder
05-28-2016, 12:11 AM
Originally Posted by Serinity
Now I just want to follow my logic, my brain, but then this reminds me:

Those who follow anything other than the Quran, or prefers to follow anything over The Quran, is a kafir.

So what do I do? I want to use my brain!

I have this anger and hate because from twhat I see now, that is what Islam wants from me - to hate kuffar.

I feel enslaved to this harsh Islam. I just want to be that guy I was. I can do it, I can become like I was 1 year ago. But this feeling.. It feels like betraying Allah SWT.

I will just reset my memory and knowledge and start from 1 year ago. Tho it feels like betraying Allah SWT. But I hope HE Swt will forgive me.
In my humble opinion; you need to step back...when your anger comes. Recognize it. Find the source. It is not Islam friend. Islam speaks of mercy ultimately in all situations. This refers to self as well. You may know fragments of your own direction that bring this anger or hatred up. You are deceiving yourself somehow or not making a change you know you are to make.

It is okay...be patient...study in solitude with humility, even towards yourself. The emotion of anger, though perhaps towards others, is an indicator that you yourself are off somewhere. Do you hold shame? Regret? Know that your knowledge of these things is first. Your building anger becoming intolerable could very well be you needing a real change. Not only must we catch our flaws, but we must find peace too. How else is this done but through knowing change?

Your peace towards others will come regardless of there actions, when you find your own peace, through introspection and honesty and hope in GOD.

Have faith and hope, patience and perseverance.

Relinquish pride and personal want from all thought processes.

Just an opinion and admittedly an assuming one. I am sorry and mean no malice. I can relate in ways is all.

Peace
Reply

Cpt.America
05-28-2016, 12:15 AM
Kaafirs can be your colleagues.
Respected colleagues even.

But they aren't your brothers.
Our goal is Jannah, and their entire world view is dunya.
They may give you sincere advice, but it might not be the advice which is best for your Imaan and could even be detrimental to it.
(For example in terms of relationships and healing from heartbream, a nonbeliever might tell you to start dating people , whereas a Mu'min knows that zinaa is impermissible and would advise turning to Allah instead)
It is important to remember to keep view of this distinction.
They can be 'friends' but not Awliyah. They are not your 'brothers'
There will always be a distance but stay respectful InshaaAllah.

Anyway this thread just reminded me of Surah Al An'am.


Follow, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you from your Lord - there is no deity except Him - and turn away from those who associate others with Allah .
6:106

But if Allah had willed, they would not have associated. And We have not appointed you over them as a guardian, nor are you a manager over them.
6:107


And do not insult those they invoke other than Allah , lest they insult Allah in enmity without knowledge. Thus We have made pleasing to every community their deeds. Then to their Lord is their return, and He will inform them about what they used to do.
6:108

And they swear by Allah their strongest oaths that if a sign came to them, they would surely believe in it. Say, "The signs are only with Allah ." And what will make you perceive that even if a sign came, they would not believe
6:109




And We will turn away their hearts and their eyes just as they refused to believe in it the first time. And We will leave them in their transgression, wandering blindly.
6:110

And even if We had sent down to them the angels [with the message] and the dead spoke to them [of it] and We gathered together every [created] thing in front of them, they would not believe unless Allah should will. But most of them, [of that], are ignorant.
6:111


And thus We have made for every prophet an enemy - devils from mankind and jinn, inspiring to one another decorative speech in delusion. But if your Lord had willed, they would not have done it, so leave them and that which they invent.
6:112
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Serinity
05-28-2016, 10:21 AM
I understand that a kafir and a Muslim are not compatible. If th kafir advices the Muslim on morals or what to do, etc. The advice will be dunya oriented, and may be haram

Of course. I distance myself from their kufr. I hate their kufr, but them as a person? How can I hate someone I don't know. (by the way, I do have natural hatred and dislike for their kufr, and I dislike it very much, but as human beings, they can be good, and nothing wrong in liking someone as a human being right?)

Anyways. I know, I will never love the kuffar as I love my brothers in deen. That is fact.

I am probably thinking of this in its extreme form lol. Of course you have to show good character, be kind etc. and of course I have a dislike for kufr and hatred.

my friendship with kafirs are dunya-based. I will just use wisdom for every situation.

I guess I am confusing this. Like I have this "extreme or the other extreme" lol. xD

I will try to keep a balance. JazakAllah khayr. I am not into being friends friends, as I dislike and hate to go out in the night and sin and stuff like that.

But surely I can keep healthy relationship or someone to talk... I think I am thinking of extremes. I am thinking "ok you have to be wary -- no contact at all!" Lol.

I think I just need to try to balance it, if I feel and find myself being drawn to sinning and kufr, I will stop. or If I feel uncomfortable being around a person. Dw tho, I have always felt way more comfortable and liking the company of Muslims, and I will always do (except for some cases, those with bad character - which further empathizes how character is good.
Reply

Serinity
05-28-2016, 10:30 AM
Originally Posted by Regrets1
Walaikum salaam.


Brother your not evil, trying your best to be on the right path MashAllah. Youv made many improvements..Islam is all about peace..

I think your not receiving the right advice and answers regarding Islam, your not getting information from best of people. Read Quran and Hadith, and when you don't understand something then ask the scholars..Islam doesn't teach hate and you know it..you should try your best and be at best behaviour when around people Muslims and non Muslim..if Islam was about hating the kafirs then there won't be no kafirs left we all would be killing them..but it's not like that..so don't think Islam is the reason for your hatred towards kafirs..

Version of Islam?? There's only one version of Islam brother and that's all about peace. Don't follow what people say, follow the Quran..your still young and learning don't overthink..all you should know is Islam does not teach hate and if people tell you otherwise then ask for proof and when they provide it make sure Youv read whole ayah to understand the meaning.

Lets say your talking to someone and they say Islam says we must hate kafirs and kill them..you ask for proof and they just make you read the bit where it says "kill them" you won't go hating and killing people would u? Obviously no..so reading and understanding the ayah is must.

May Allah swt help you. Ameen.
Tbh, of course I won't go and kill, and before meeting those people who take one ayat and says "kill, kill, kill, kill" before meeting those people, I already knew how some Muslims twist ayats to suit THEIR desires, even if it means to kill. So I've always been at conflict with this whole allowance of killing, which is prohibited in Islam obv.

They've taken some ayats which are stuck in my head. I guess I will have to ignore them lol. and I know it is taken out of context, as it is stunting my character.

Which Islam doesn't yeah? Anyways, it is mentally exhausting for a Muslim to hate everyone. And before this whole thing, I thought a Muslim was someone educated, who controls his anger, and doesn't succumb into the games of hatred and arguing.

Someone who hates and loves what Allah SWT hates and loves, but not to the extreme. Not hating the person, etc.

Cause Allah SWT has a right, you can't take. If Allah SWT says about punishing kuffar, we don't go out and punish them, and feel arrogant, yeah? no we try to advice them and bring them to Islam to avoid punishment.

we've mixed the rights of Allah SWT with ours.. I think (somewhat) There are things Allah SWT can do, we can't.
Reply

Serinity
05-28-2016, 12:31 PM
Guys, I find it a wonder that I am still Muslim after all that hardship tbh. Cuz I knew this can't be Islam, I think. Idk how I didn't collapse up on till now.

I've had insane thoughts, etc.

anyways, I have 1 question. Which is bothering me.

So here it is>

Islam says to keep ties, family-ties, etc. But you can cut them if they have negative influence and you can not repel it yeah?

So, I read a verse that says something like this>

You will not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred. Those - He has decreed within their hearts faith and supported them with spirit from Him. And We will admit them to gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally. Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him - those are the party of Allah . Unquestionably, the party of Allah - they are the successful. 58:22

So if my parents and blood-brothers were kafirs, I could not love them? Not every kafir oppose Allah SWT, yeah?

So if I can't show affection, that doesn't mean I have to hate, right? What will hating them personally help in them turning to Islam?

Does this verse say to have complete Bara and no contact? I dont think so, cuz The Prophet SAW showed affection to his SAW uncle, Ibn talib or Abu talib, right?

So when Allah SWT says something like do not show affection, or hate them. (Allah SWT surely doesn't say to hate people yah)

Does not showing affection mean hating them? I think not, why? Cuz hatred that prevents you from communicating and feeling at peace, is futile.

And I can't have this harsh heart. I feel natural compassion towards those who are more unfortunate than me, is that bad?

I feel sad for my parents who proclaim themselves Muslims but do not pray, can I not love them ? is not praying opposing Allah SWT and His messenger SAW? in some way, yeah it is.

So I can't love my parents? But I can't live with hate. Surely that isn't what Allah SWT says?

For me hatred is this:

Something that poisons your heart, something that makes you unstable, angry and narrowminded.
Reply

M.I.A.
05-28-2016, 12:51 PM
I feel the same and yet am a lot older.

It would seem only the heedless and without thought are victorious.

The flip side is that you can still remember what they did yesterday.

Two choices.. get a life..

Or get better.
Reply

Serinity
05-28-2016, 12:53 PM
Is this mindset wrong;

"when I read the Quran saying do not love, I assume we should do the opposite - hate them." Which is an extreme, yeah?

There are 2 extremes> Loving the Kuffar like you love the Muslims, cause what then would prevent you from falling astray? and there is the other, hating kuffar, and what will that bring except enmity, and it won't bring anyone to Islam.
Reply

muslimah_B
05-28-2016, 12:53 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
Guys, I find it a wonder that I am still Muslim after all that hardship tbh. Cuz I knew this can't be Islam, I think. Idk how I didn't collapse up on till now.

I've had insane thoughts, etc.

anyways, I have 1 question. Which is bothering me.

So here it is>

Islam says to keep ties, family-ties, etc. But you can cut them if they have negative influence and you can not repel it yeah?

So, I read a verse that says something like this>

You will not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred. Those - He has decreed within their hearts faith and supported them with spirit from Him. And We will admit them to gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally. Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him - those are the party of Allah . Unquestionably, the party of Allah - they are the successful. 58:22

So if my parents and blood-brothers were kafirs, I could not love them? Not every kafir oppose Allah SWT, yeah?

So if I can't show affection, that doesn't mean I have to hate, right? What will hating them personally help in them turning to Islam?

Does this verse say to have complete Bara and no contact? I dont think so, cuz The Prophet SAW showed affection to his SAW uncle, Ibn talib or Abu talib, right?

So when Allah SWT says something like do not show affection, or hate them. (Allah SWT surely doesn't say to hate people yah)

Does not showing affection mean hating them? I think not, why? Cuz hatred that prevents you from communicating and feeling at peace, is futile.

And I can't have this harsh heart. I feel natural compassion towards those who are more unfortunate than me, is that bad?
Brother, even if your family arent muslim you still have to treat them properly with respect and so on, when it comes to parents, we must still obey them UNLESS it is something that goes against Allah and his deen.
So for example im the only muslim in my entire family, i still have to listen and respect my parents, but if they tell me to do something that is against the deen i refuse and say no
Ie being told to go out without my niqab.
Ofcourse you can still love your family and your parents, you dont hate them as a person, you hate their sins, their bad deeds, thier beliefs... but you do not hate that person.

When you hate a person, it shows in your character towards them, which will push them further away from you and islam.
Imagine if your character was so beautiful, and your family through your character and kindness towards them decided to become muslim because of that.
They might not understand about islam, they could be brainwashed by the media or by meeting other muslims who arent so kind in their nature i.e they just hate all non-muslims, but how does this behaviour invite people to islam, how does it show the true beauty of islam.
Remember brother people are attracted to someones character and how they are treated or made to feel by that person

"And [mention, O Muhammad], when Luqman said to his son while he was instructing him, "O my son, do not associate [anything] with Allah . Indeed, association [with him] is great injustice." [31:13]

"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination." [31:14]

"But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do." [31:15]
Reply

Serinity
05-28-2016, 01:04 PM
Ah, of course!! Good character is what brings people to Islam, it is what determines whether you put Islam as harsh and unapproachable, or beautiful.

anyways, I will work on myself.

Be harsh towards those who are harsh, nice towards those who are nice. yeah? But I don't like harshness, I don't like to play those games.

But this is mere repaying back. and personally I don't like harshness, I rather deal with harsh people in a way that doesn't poison my Imaan.

If someone is harsh to me I just say peace, I've no time or energy to bicker. I rather pardon and overlook, and deal with them, in a better way than they do with me..

But when it comes to people ridiculing Islam, I can't take that. And IF I know debating with them will just end in bickering and hating and stuff. I rather just distance myself. And seek refuge within Allah SWT from their ignorance.

May Allah SWT forgive me if I am wrong. Ameen.
Reply

muslimah_B
05-28-2016, 01:38 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
Ah, of course!! Good character is what brings people to Islam, it is what determines whether you put Islam as harsh and unapproachable, or beautiful.

anyways, I will work on myself.

Be harsh towards those who are harsh, nice towards those who are nice. yeah? But I don't like harshness, I don't like to play those games.

If someone is harsh to me I just say peace, I've no time or energy to bicker. I rather pardon and overlook, and deal with them, in a better way than they do with me..

But when it comes to people ridiculing Islam, I can't take that. And IF I know debating with them will just end in bickering and hating and stuff. I rather just distance myself. And seek refuge within Allah SWT from their ignorance.

May Allah SWT forgive me if I am wrong. Ameen.
There will always be people who will insult us, insult our religion, obviously we are human and get angry but that's what they want, they want a reaction, so they can say "oh look at the angry muslim not peaceful at all etc)
You dont have to be harsh back, but be firm not rude or insulting.
Sometimes you can debate or have a conversation with them and try your best to refute their claims in the best of ways and manners, sometimes its best to just ignore them.... you have to be able to judge what is best on how to handle each situation as they are all different.

Some people genuinely dont know about islam and are brainwashed, or never met a muslim so go by what other people say about us, untill they meet a muslim who kindly answers their questions, who debates without insulting even if they insult you, their insults will come back to bite them on thier butts on the day of judgement and they will regret everything they said or done against muslims, its their sins to carry not yours.

Our character matters just as much as our actions.
There are many diseases of the heart and having just a atoms weight of arrogance or pride Allah will throw you into jahanumm

The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah the Almighty said, ‘Pride is My cloak and greatness is My robe, and he who competes with Me in respect of either of them, I shall cast into the Hell Fire.’”
[Sunan Abu Dawud - Classed as Sahih by Shaykh al-Albaani]


It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ood (radi Allahu anhu) that the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “No one who has an atom’s-weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.” [Sahih Muslim]

It was narrated from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb via his father and grandfather that the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “On the Day of Resurrection, the arrogant will be gathered like ants in the form of men. Humiliation will overwhelm them from all sides. They will be driven to a prison in Hell called Bawlas, with the hottest fire rising over them, and they will be given to drink of the juice of the inhabitants of Hell, which is teenat al-khabaal.” [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2492 - Classed as Hasan by al-Albaani in Sahih al-Tirmidhi, 2025]
Reply

Serinity
05-28-2016, 01:42 PM
Originally Posted by popsthebuilder
In my humble opinion; you need to step back...when your anger comes. Recognize it. Find the source. It is not Islam friend. Islam speaks of mercy ultimately in all situations. This refers to self as well. You may know fragments of your own direction that bring this anger or hatred up. You are deceiving yourself somehow or not making a change you know you are to make.

It is okay...be patient...study in solitude with humility, even towards yourself. The emotion of anger, though perhaps towards others, is an indicator that you yourself are off somewhere. Do you hold shame? Regret? Know that your knowledge of these things is first. Your building anger becoming intolerable could very well be you needing a real change. Not only must we catch our flaws, but we must find peace too. How else is this done but through knowing change?

Your peace towards others will come regardless of there actions, when you find your own peace, through introspection and honesty and hope in GOD.

Have faith and hope, patience and perseverance.

Relinquish pride and personal want from all thought processes.

Just an opinion and admittedly an assuming one. I am sorry and mean no malice. I can relate in ways is all.

Peace
This whole anger and hate didn't just happen or start over night. I know I am the problem, I have destroyed myself. It is time I use my judgment again, even if I feel defiant.

Cause tbh, Allah SWT gave a brain, so I use it. Use logic and reason, cause Allah SWT is logical and reasonable yeah? And to assume or think that you shouldn't think is not good.

I shouldn't fear using my own judgment. But i always get this constant fear of going against The Quran. But I know Allah SWT is All-Just, the Source of peace.

One of the names of Allah SWT is:

As-Salam (السلام)

So how can Islam, the Religion of Allah SWT, be any other than peaceful, when Allah SWT Himself is The Source of all peace?

When I read the 99 names of Allah SWT, I think of a Kind, protecting, caring, Righteous Teacher, who wants the best from Humanity.

So how can Islam be any other than peaceful and Just?

I have to work on myself. :D And btw, I know that I am wrong, I am the problem. If I see everyone as evil or whatever, or I see problems arise in my life ALWAYS, etc. Perhaps I should question myself, what am I doing wrong that Allah SWT shows me all types of injustice, rudeness, and evil talk?

I know, Allah SWT is testing me, but I should not sit idle and blame others and think lowly of others when they do wrong - cause that is just reflecting my own laziness!
Reply

Serinity
05-28-2016, 01:48 PM
Originally Posted by muslimah_B
There will always be people who will insult us, insult our religion, obviously we are human and get angry but that's what they want, they want a reaction, so they can say "oh look at the angry muslim not peaceful at all etc)
You dont have to be harsh back, but be firm not rude or insulting.
Sometimes you can debate or have a conversation with them and try your best to refute their claims in the best of ways and manners, sometimes its best to just ignore them.... you have to be able to judge what is best on how to handle each situation as they are all different.

Some people genuinely dont know about islam and are brainwashed, or never met a muslim so go by what other people say about us, untill they meet a muslim who kindly answers their questions, who debates without insulting even if they insult you, their insults will come back to bite them on thier butts on the day of judgement and they will regret everything they said or done against muslims, its their sins to carry not yours.

Our character matters just as much as our actions.
There are many diseases of the heart and having just a atoms weight of arrogance or pride Allah will throw you into jahanumm

The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah the Almighty said, ‘Pride is My cloak and greatness is My robe, and he who competes with Me in respect of either of them, I shall cast into the Hell Fire.’”
[Sunan Abu Dawud - Classed as Sahih by Shaykh al-Albaani]


It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allah ibn Mas’ood (radi Allahu anhu) that the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “No one who has an atom’s-weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?” He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.” [Sahih Muslim]

It was narrated from ‘Amr ibn Shu’ayb via his father and grandfather that the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “On the Day of Resurrection, the arrogant will be gathered like ants in the form of men. Humiliation will overwhelm them from all sides. They will be driven to a prison in Hell called Bawlas, with the hottest fire rising over them, and they will be given to drink of the juice of the inhabitants of Hell, which is teenat al-khabaal.” [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2492 - Classed as Hasan by al-Albaani in Sahih al-Tirmidhi, 2025]
I can use fair judgment, and I do have the ability, and I am able.

This hatred and rudeness I've been taught to be 'Islam'. Has ruined me. But I know this is not Islam, so I will start over, even if I feel myself defiant of Allah SWT, as that is NOT what I am trying to do. I am just trying to find meaning, The Justice in Islam, etc.

Cause the way I've been taught Islam, it was not peaceful, it was harsh, etc. Which instill arrogance in me, and I hate it. I know this isn't Islam tho. Alhamdulillah, as I knew and felt it was very very wrong!

I have a Non-praciticing Muslim family, and I from an early age saw my Grandpa very humble etc. and he prayed all prayers! But yet he was VERY calm and very nice! he never hit me when I accidentally did something wrong.
Reply

popsthebuilder
05-28-2016, 02:01 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
This whole anger and hate didn't just happen or start over night. I know I am the problem, I have destroyed myself. It is time I use my judgment again, even if I feel defiant.

Cause tbh, Allah SWT gave a brain, so I use it. Use logic and reason, cause Allah SWT is logical and reasonable yeah? And to assume or think that you shouldn't think is not good.

I shouldn't fear using my own judgment. But i always get this constant fear of going against The Quran. But I know Allah SWT is All-Just, the Source of peace.

One of the names of Allah SWT is:

As-Salam (السلام)

So how can Islam, the Religion of Allah SWT, be any other than peaceful, when Allah SWT Himself is The Source of all peace?

When I read the 99 names of Allah SWT, I think of a Kind, protecting, caring, Righteous Teacher, who wants the best from Humanity.

So how can Islam be any other than peaceful and Just?

I have to work on myself. :D And btw, I know that I am wrong, I am the problem. If I see everyone as evil or whatever, or I see problems arise in my life ALWAYS, etc. Perhaps I should question myself, what am I doing wrong that Allah SWT shows me all types of injustice, rudeness, and evil talk?

I know, Allah SWT is testing me, but I should not sit idle and blame others and think lowly of others when they do wrong - cause that is just reflecting my own laziness!
In my opinion Islam cannot be anything but submissive to GOD. Being merciful and peaceable in all teachings examples and rebuking. If it isn't of that fashion then it isn't based on unbiased interpretation of the Qur'an, but the work of those still imbued with greed, pride, and or fear.

I wish you the best.

All praise and thanks is to GOD with supplication and humility.

Peace
Reply

muslimah_B
05-28-2016, 02:01 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I can use fair judgment, and I do have the ability, and I am able.

This hatred and rudeness I've been taught to be 'Islam'. Has ruined me. But I know this is not Islam, so I will start over, even if I feel myself defiant of Allah SWT, as that is NOT what I am trying to do. I am just trying to find meaning, The Justice in Islam, etc.

Cause the way I've been taught Islam, it was not peaceful, it was harsh, etc. Which instill arrogance in me, and I hate it. I know this isn't Islam tho. Alhamdulillah, as I knew and felt it was very very wrong!

I have a Non-praciticing Muslim family, and I from an early age saw my Grandpa very humble etc. and he prayed all prayers! But yet he was VERY calm and very nice! he never hit me when I accidentally did something wrong.
Exactly brother, some muslims twist things as to how they want to see or view things, their actions may be good (pray, fast etc) but their character of looking down on other muslims thinking they are lesser than him as they dont believe all non-belivers are enemys like them, the list goes on with diseases of the heart, which alot of people over-look saying "well in doing all my obligations i dont need to do anything else" this is also arrogance not taking advice when clear evidences where brought foward etc.

By you in sha Allah improving your understanding of the deen, and character you could bring your family to be practising, sometimes it just takes someones kind caring understanding nature to help guide someone back to islam or even guide them to islam.

Justice will never truly take place in this dunya, that is what judgement day is for, every affair will be set straight by Allahs judgement, Allah will be in controll of deciding who was in the wrong and right, any quarrels will be handled by Allah.
And we all should want our affairs to be handled by Allah as we know that whatever happens will be fair and just, and Allah will never rong a soul
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Serinity
05-28-2016, 02:03 PM
I find myself prideful and arrogant, although I don't see it.

How can I have time judging others when I am Muslim granted guidance by Allah SWT? I should be more worried about myself than to judge others!

In fact, I reason, that I, as Muslim am in more danger of going to a worse Jahannam, than a kafir - cause I know, and yet still disobey!

my faults should keep me from judging others.. I do recognize the wrong in others, but shouldn't I ask for Allah SWT to guide them rather than saying "pft, those kuffar, they know nothing!"

But know what? years ago I didn't either, so how do I have the audacity or time to judge others when I can die any moment, and even be blind to my own state?
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noraina
05-28-2016, 02:10 PM
When Islam enters a heart, it bring peace to it, not harshness or anything.

InshaAllah, we must all strive to bring our iman to such a state where it is not affected or shaken by things either fellow believers may say or do or those who don't believe say or do.

I understand, when you are young and finding yourself, sometimes you forget to use your own reasoning and allow other people to preach to you an Islam of hate and intolerance - when as you said the Prophet (saw) was so gentle that even the non-believers were drawn to his perfect character. I think when you are finding yourself and your deen you are very vulnerable, and you feel so defensive and passionate about Islam that energy can be channelled unintentionally into hate or frustration, especially if certain people latch onto that vulnerability. I was in a similar situation myself once.

As Muslims we should follow the example of the Prophet (saw), who was so gentle, yet was also firm in his beliefs and uncompromisingly put forward the message of Islam - without insulting others or being harsh towards them when it wasn't necessary.

To answer your question, you're not evil. No-one is evil, for our fitrah is one of perfection and submission to Allah swt - circumstance can cause us to deviate from this state we were created in, but right until we die we can always turn back to Him and so no-one is inherently evil.

Just focus on yourself, as Muslims we should focus primarily on building our iman, purifying our hearts - and it so happens that whenever we beautify what is inside, this is reflected on the outside, in our words and actions, and people see this in your interactions with them.
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Serinity
05-28-2016, 02:13 PM
I recognize my own hypocrisy right now. I demanded others (in my head) to be moral, etc. yet I didn't see how judgmental and angry and hateful I was..

I whole-heartedly feel like a hypocrite atm. But In shaa' Allah soon I will be able to do what pleases Allah SWT with love and a want for Allah SWT's pleasure, and not with harshness and stuff.

I have no good character, I just feel soo bad.
Reply

muslimah_B
05-28-2016, 02:16 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I find myself prideful and arrogant, although I don't see it.

How can I have time judging others when I am Muslim granted guidance by Allah SWT? I should be more worried about myself than to judge others!

In fact, I reason, that I, as Muslim am in more danger of going to a worse Jahannam, than a kafir - cause I know, and yet still disobey!

my faults should keep me from judging others.. I do recognize the wrong in others, but shouldn't I ask for Allah SWT to guide them rather than saying "pft, those kuffar, they know nothing!"

But know what? years ago I didn't either, so how do I have the audacity or time to judge others when I can die any moment, and even be blind to my own state?
Exactly

Thats why we have to check ourselves and should never judge anyone that is for Allah to do.

Ofcourse we have a obligation as a muslim if we see someone commiting a sin or doing wrong, we MUST stop them or advice them in the best of ways and manners, which again goes back to your character, if you tell somebody kindly about something wrong they are doing theyre more likely to accept the advice and work on it, rather than someone who is harsh and judgemental is will push them further away.

Even the worst of muslims are still better than kaffir, as you believe in Allah, a believer no matter how sinfull they are can never be on the same level as a kaffir because of believing in Allah. But why would anybody want to JUST be above a kaffir.
We ALL are/should be trying to improve ourselves for the sake of Allah, if you find things hard, do them slowly then slowly keep building on it, then it will become normal and you wont burn out or loose motivation
E.g
Not praying all 5 a day, slowly build up on it, keep improving it, once your at 5 a day, improve it try praying on time not later on then, try doing witr, once there, try adding the sunnahs slowly untill it becomes normal, then add tahajjud then add naffil, try praying every single salah in the masjid etc etc
Keep building up slowly untill these things become so accustomed to you, its like 2nd nature.
There is always more every single one of us could/should be doing, working on our characters, our obligations, learning more about the deen
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noraina
05-28-2016, 02:21 PM
You do have good character, which is why you are so concerned about the state of your heart, as we all should be.

For us, we should be concerned about the state of the world of course. But tbh, when we have so much to improve about ourselves, to be too concerned about how others should be improving would I believe obstruct our own self-development.

The essential thing here is not to judge people from our limited perspective - we don't know their past nor their future nor their circumstance. Give dawah, and advise gently, but to feel anger or hatred towards them would be unfair and may only distance them further.
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Serinity
05-28-2016, 02:22 PM
Ok, JazakAllah khayr. From now on I will start working on my character. I will take a step back and work on myself.

I will find my own wise self which I have supressed for so long. But some Quran verses are still stuck to my head.

Prob out of context. But some Ayats makes me feel guilty of being good. I have to work on this. I will kindly one by one ask scholars about the verses, in shaa' Allah.

For now, I work on being good.
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Umm Abed
05-28-2016, 02:28 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I recognize my own hypocrisy right now. I demanded others (in my head) to be moral, etc. yet I didn't see how judgmental and angry and hateful I was..

I whole-heartedly feel like a hypocrite atm. But In shaa' Allah soon I will be able to do what pleases Allah SWT with love and a want for Allah SWT's pleasure, and not with harshness and stuff.



I have no good character, I just feel soo bad.
The whole problem is that you have alot of doubts, self-doubts. Dont let this stop you from conveying the message of Islam. You have shown excellent character on here and do continue to do so. Also, you have never been harsh on here, nothing of that sort. Your advices are great masha'allah, and dont stop giving them.

Just remember, to be a good muslim, continuous self-inspection is needed in order to keep on the straight path. May Allah keep you guided and firm on Iman and give you Jannatul Firdaus ameen!
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Serinity
05-28-2016, 02:31 PM
Originally Posted by Umm Abed
The whole problem is that you have alot of doubts, self-doubts. Dont let this stop you from conveying the message of Islam. You have shown excellent character on here and do continue to do so. Also, you have never been harsh on here, nothing of that sort. Your advices are great masha'allah, and dont stop giving them.

Just remember, to be a good muslim, continuous self-inspection is needed in order to keep on the straight path. May Allah keep you guided and firm on Iman and give you Jannatul Firdaus ameen!
I am trying to keep myself firm, but some interpretation of some verses of the Quran is preventing my character growth..

How silly I am!! It is all in context!
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popsthebuilder
05-28-2016, 02:31 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I recognize my own hypocrisy right now. I demanded others (in my head) to be moral, etc. yet I didn't see how judgmental and angry and hateful I was..

I whole-heartedly feel like a hypocrite atm. But In shaa' Allah soon I will be able to do what pleases Allah SWT with love and a want for Allah SWT's pleasure, and not with harshness and stuff.

I have no good character, I just feel soo bad.
If you had no good character the. You wouldn't be able to catch your own flaw and be shamed.

Patience, and hope in GOD.

Remember the lessons you are learning now and grow from them, by GOD's will and your patient perseverance.

Peace
Reply

Serinity
05-28-2016, 02:36 PM
Originally Posted by popsthebuilder
If you had no good character the. You wouldn't be able to catch your own flaw and be shamed.

Patience, and hope in GOD.

Remember the lessons you are learning now and grow from them, by GOD's will and your patient perseverance.

Peace
you are right in the character I think. I've just been supressing myself and character growth.

and I don't like to see myself as righteous or better than others. I don't feel nice like that. I know I am sinful, I know I should improve.

I don't like to think arrogantly cause I know that is just delusion. If I think to myself "ha, I am a Muslim, pray 5 times a day, righteous, better than those peasants!"

my own self says that the arrogant prideful, those who look down on others and don't wish for them what one wishes for themselves, guidance from Allah SWT, Al-Islam. Has not understood what it means to be humble and righteous.


I recognize I am sinful and have flaws, that is better than deluding oneself into thinking he is perfect.

I have things to improve - and that is good! I know Allah SWT knows and He SWT understands, so I just ask for change. And I know it starts with me, focusing on myself, If Allah SWT wills of course. After all it is Allah SWT that wills everything before anything happens, so indirectly it is Allah SWT that willed it to start, kinda thing.
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muslimah_B
05-28-2016, 02:46 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I am trying to keep myself firm, but some interpretation of some verses of the Quran is preventing my character growth..

How silly I am!! It is all in context!
LOL you are driving your ownself crazy, you know the answers to these verses,
If you have a android phone download this app called "Quran tasfir pro"
I use it for classes, when you click on verses it gives you the tasfir and context of the verses and explains them.
You are letting shaytan twist the meanings in your head, which is what happend to me aswell, reading the tasfir, watching lectures on verses helped Alot it cleared up alot of doubts i had.

Most of the doubts i thought, was exactly what kaffir said/thought about islam i came across this video once and it was over a hour long about the Quran being full of hatred and violence (auhdu billahi minash shaytanir rajeem) using the specific verses you bring up, then i listend to scholars and muftis talk about the exact same verses and it was the complete opposite of the other video, it beautified islam, it made it warm and inviting, BUT it also showed islam to be firm giving rights to defend yourself if necessary, to show peace if the violence stopped.
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Serinity
05-28-2016, 03:00 PM
Originally Posted by muslimah_B
LOL you are driving your ownself crazy, you know the answers to these verses,
If you have a android phone download this app called "Quran tasfir pro"
I use it for classes, when you click on verses it gives you the tasfir and context of the verses and explains them.
You are letting shaytan twist the meanings in your head, which is what happend to me aswell, reading the tasfir, watching lectures on verses helped Alot it cleared up alot of doubts i had.

Most of the doubts i thought, was exactly what kaffir said/thought about islam i came across this video once and it was over a hour long about the Quran being full of hatred and violence (auhdu billahi minash shaytanir rajeem) using the specific verses you bring up, then i listend to scholars and muftis talk about the exact same verses and it was the complete opposite of the other video, it beautified islam, it made it warm and inviting, BUT it also showed islam to be firm giving rights to defend yourself if necessary, to show peace if the violence stopped.
I am still drawn to hatred.. I dislike it.

my mind is like auto-referencing to the Quran for every action I am about to do, and I doubt some actions etc. LOL. I know it is wrong.

But one HUGE step would be to rid all the doubts I have. JazakAllah khayr sis, you are very helpful.

I've tried to read some tafsir, I perhaps misunderstood the tafsir, but it did not make me more peaceful, it made me more hateful, split and confused.
And Allah SWT knows best.
Reply

muslimah_B
05-28-2016, 03:18 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I am still drawn to hatred.. I dislike it.

my mind is like auto-referencing to the Quran for every action I am about to do, and I doubt some actions etc. LOL. I know it is wrong.

But one HUGE step would be to rid all the doubts I have. JazakAllah khayr sis, you are very helpful.

I've tried to read some tafsir, I perhaps misunderstood the tafsir, but it did not make me more peaceful, it made me more hateful, split and confused.
And Allah SWT knows best.
Barakallahu feek
What about doing an online tasfir class, or doing tasfir class at a masjid of your choice, that way youd be able to interact and ask the questions you have to clear the doubts,
when you read tasfir from classical books they are related to those times, and when you do classes they (the teachers) refer to those classical tasfir but also explain how we can apply these to our times now (lessons, how to act, handle situtions, handle people, improve our character, etc etc)

Surround yourself with good muslims if your able to, so their good character rubs off onto you, try not to be alone all the time as this is when these thoughts manifest and take hold, even if you have just one reliable brother that can help you and advice you that is good.

Ofcorse its good to auto reference our actions to the Quran, but you have to understand the Quran first to know when certain actions should be applied and when they shouldnt, ie certain situations call for different actions to be done
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Serinity
05-28-2016, 03:22 PM
I know I am corrupt, I don't see.

But what I do know is the attributes of Allah SWT, and He SWT only forbids evil and enjoins good. So I will assume the best.

I am corrupt or perhaps I am not thinking the way I should.. Allahu alam. All I know is Allah SWT loves the doer of good, and He SWT tests you with bad people and good people.

May Allah SWT grant me and all of us righteous company, ameen.

Ok, I will try, no more rambling!
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muslimah_B
05-28-2016, 03:37 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I know I am corrupt, I don't see.

But what I do know is the attributes of Allah SWT, and He SWT only forbids evil and enjoins good. So I will assume the best.

I am corrupt or perhaps I am not thinking the way I should.. Allahu alam. All I know is Allah SWT loves the doer of good, and He SWT tests you with bad people and good people.

May Allah SWT grant me and all of us righteous company, ameen.
Ameen

Your not corrupt brother, if you was you wouldnt see your mistakes and try to move foward from them and also learn from them.
Alhamdulilah your on the right path brother, just keep striving to do better and be better, believe in yourself :)

Just take this as a test from Allah to better your character and learn more about your deen, take this as a opportunity Allah has given to you to turn back to Allah and ask for help, ask for Allah for guidance, ask Allah to fill your heart with truth, wisdom, love, peace, ask Allah to soften your heart and remove the hatred you feel inside cry to Allah do whatever you feel is needed but fully submit yourself to Allah, fully feel you are nothing without his help, fully feel that you are lost without the guidance of Allah and just beg and plead Allah to help you, in sha Allah the help of Allah will come, you just have to believe the best of Allah and his deen and by the will of Allah He will set your affairs striaght and ease your heart, but only if you ask Allah not us :)
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Serinity
05-28-2016, 03:41 PM
I just have this feeling, and will ask Allah SWT to fill me with love, compassion, good character, sound wisdom, and guidance, and His SWT love.

But thing is.

When I am with muslims, I feel relieved, and I feel no constrictions, I feel more free.

With kafirs, I know I have to be kind, and merciful, etc. But I feel a harshness in my heart as a gate is closed.. That 'gate' is opened with my muslim bros. I think that is a good thing..

But I feel very disconnected with kuffar. I can easily talk with them, etc. But I do not connect with them.

I think it is because I feel Islam prohibits me from liking a kafir as human being. Cause when I was non-practicing I always felt this .

I like good mannered people, whether kafir or muslim. But there will always be a 'gate' closed .. But yeah.
Reply

Helikido
05-28-2016, 04:16 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I feel it is Islam that makes me like this, before practicing Islam, I was very calm. Now I feel very hateful - I don't like it.
I think you are BLOWING IT OUT OF PROPORTION. There is absolutely nothing that prevents us from living among the "kafirs". You should also refrain from using that word. It has a very negative connotation, you should use "non-believers ".
Reply

Helikido
05-28-2016, 04:35 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I just have this feeling, and will ask Allah SWT to fill me with love, compassion, good character, sound wisdom, and guidance, and His SWT love.

But thing is.

When I am with muslims, I feel relieved, and I feel no constrictions, I feel more free.

With kafirs, I know I have to be kind, and merciful, etc. But I feel a harshness in my heart as a gate is closed.. That 'gate' is opened with my muslim bros. I think that is a good thing..

But I feel very disconnected with kuffar. I can easily talk with them, etc. But I do not connect with them.

I think it is because I feel Islam prohibits me from liking a kafir as human being. Cause when I was non-practicing I always felt this .

I like good mannered people, whether kafir or muslim. But there will always be a 'gate' closed .. But yeah.
Whether you are muslim, jewish, christian, or whatever, you are EQUALLY HUMAN. As long as you walk on this earth and breath the same air around as everyone else, we are all equal. Do not look down on people of different religions. Do not treat people of different religions lesser of that of the same. Do not make them feel as if you see that you are over them.

You need to get over your stigma of hating the non-believers choice of belief. When I see a person, I first judge them by their morals, and see if I can associate with them without them influencing me in a bad way. Notice how I said I judge them by their morals, not their religion. Why is that? Because your morals define who you are, and to be a true muslim you have to have good morals in place first. However, good morals are present in people of all religions, not exclusive only to muslims. Please keep that in mind when you look at non-believers. Even though they may not be muslim, there are many who are most likely better than you and I many folds, by what they do to improve the world around them. They just haven't really been properly exposed to Islam yet.

Also, surround yourself by good people. I have 2 Jewish friends, many Christian friends, and one who is a muslim. I feel that in the time of need, all of these friends would open their homes to me. It's the person that counts, then his religion.
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Serinity
05-28-2016, 04:46 PM
This hatred is just super ingrained in me. May Allah SWT help me. Ameen.

I feel like I am disobeying Allah SWT without hatred, but that ain't true. I know people of other faiths can have good character.I used to be like you @Helikido

I never judged by religion, I only judged by the good character they had. Even if some non-believer had Unislamic manners, I knew it was because they didn't know it was haram.

I loved the good of everyone, kafir or muslim. Now this hatred and stuff and frustration is just ingrained lol.

I feel like if you just feel a bit of love towards kuffar -->instantly a kafir. If you show affection -->kafir.If you get a crush on a kafir girl -->instant kafir.

I feel I have to be a human void of all compassion or feelings.

you can marry the people of the book, but if you love your wife -->kafir. I feel.

These things are all illogical and oppressive. How can we not show affection, when that is what compassion, kindness, mercy, needs.. Compassion, kindness, etc. Without affection/love. That is just, harsh.
As if I have to cut away a chunk of my humanity.
Reply

popsthebuilder
05-29-2016, 06:54 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
This hatred is just super ingrained in me. May Allah SWT help me. Ameen.

I feel like I am disobeying Allah SWT without hatred, but that ain't true. I know people of other faiths can have good character.I used to be like you @Helikido

I never judged by religion, I only judged by the good character they had. Even if some non-believer had Unislamic manners, I knew it was because they didn't know it was haram.

I loved the good of everyone, kafir or muslim. Now this hatred and stuff and frustration is just ingrained lol.

I feel like if you just feel a bit of love towards kuffar -->instantly a kafir. If you show affection -->kafir.If you get a crush on a kafir girl -->instant kafir.

I feel I have to be a human void of all compassion or feelings.

you can marry the people of the book, but if you love your wife -->kafir. I feel.

These things are all illogical and oppressive. How can we not show affection, when that is what compassion, kindness, mercy, needs.. Compassion, kindness, etc. Without affection/love. That is just, harsh.
As if I have to cut away a chunk of my humanity.
One cannot have compassion, mercy, or kindness without empathy. I haven't read anywhere that we are supposed to be cold callous people towards any. And you are right. It is illogical. How can you show mercy toward a others without empathy? How can you feel empathy without knowing of your own pain first?

How can one be giving if they only want for themselves?

I understand you are of Islamic Faith and will not tell you to read other books; but I will say that perhaps you need to read yours without preconceived bias.

You cannot have mercy without compassion.

Lack of mercy on our part towards all without bias, will be reciprocated back to us in our judgement.

Peace friend.

I wish I could be of more help.

Be thankful to GOD for all things, mostly tests and trials. As with great potential comes great responsibility.
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Serinity
05-29-2016, 09:36 PM
I will just do good, if I go against the Quran, so be it.
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Scimitar
05-29-2016, 09:39 PM
You are the sum of your deeds, not your thoughts.

Scimi
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popsthebuilder
05-29-2016, 09:39 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I will just do good, if I go against the Quran, so be it.
Do not worry. You won't be going against the Qur'an.

Peace
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Serinity
05-29-2016, 09:49 PM
I will go ask a scholar, and be as good as possible. Atm, I feel defiant, but that is probably because I am not understanding the beautiful verses of The Qur'an.

I will try to do good, and seek out the good in everyone, think positive, and let the haters hate. I won't be indulging in those games anymore.

Ma shaa' Allah, I see good in your heart popsthebuilder, may Allah SWT guide you to Islam and attract your heart to Islam. Ameen.

I am tired of all this hatred, bigotry and prejudice. Not from Islam anyway as it makes me miserable.

I will see people as human beings and not aliens or satans. I'm just aiding shaytaan by being hateful and bigoted, right?
I follow what I feel is good. I've been ignoring my soul for too long.

And Allah SWT knows best.
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popsthebuilder
05-29-2016, 10:09 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I will go ask a scholar, and be as good as possible. Atm, I feel defiant, but that is probably because I am not understanding the beautiful verses of The Qur'an.

I will try to do good, and seek out the good in everyone, think positive, and let the haters hate. I won't be indulging in those games anymore.

Ma shaa' Allah, I see good in your heart popsthebuilder, may Allah SWT guide you to Islam and attract your heart to Islam. Ameen.

I am tired of all this hatred, bigotry and prejudice. Not from Islam anyway as it makes me miserable.

I will see people as human beings and not aliens or satans. I'm just aiding shaytaan by being hateful and bigoted, right?
I follow what I feel is good. I've been ignoring my soul for too long.

And Allah SWT knows best.
Thank you for your kind words.

Islam is derived from the Arabic root "Salema": peace, purity, submission and obedience. In the religious sense, Islam means submission to the will of God and obedience to His law.

I strive to find peace as well. Utter submission is something I still fight though I wish not to.

We are all in this together brother.

Though I know little to nothing of Islam but what I have read in the Qur'an, and may not be Islamic by the standards of others, I will rest and submit wholly to GOD when it is time. There is no direction or way that can deter the will of GOD. All we do in our attempts is kill ourselves. I may die in my bodies refusal to submit, but my heart is of Islam. GOD knows this.

With humility; peace, and thank you again.

I wish you the very best. Amen
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Pygoscelis
05-30-2016, 01:47 AM
No Serenity, you are not evil. Harsh and a little intolerant sometimes towards kafir like myself, yes, but no, not evil. Not even close. And I would be your friend if you decide to allow it. And I second what popsthebuilder said above. Tune in to your sense of empathy. If you feel it conflicting with what you think is Islam, talk to some other Muslims for guidance... as that may be where you'd be going off the right path.
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 03:47 AM
Originally Posted by Pygoscelis
No Serenity, you are not evil. Harsh and a little intolerant sometimes towards kafir like myself, yes, but no, not evil. Not even close. And I would be your friend if you decide to allow it. And I second what popsthebuilder said above. Tune in to your sense of empathy. If you feel it conflicting with what you think is Islam, talk to some other Muslims for guidance... as that may be where you'd be going off the right path.
I think that the fact that in my sense of empathy I feel conflicted with Islam shows that perhaps what I know to be Islam is not Islam.

I understand tho hatred and stuff like that only harm the hater. I don't hate you, for what will that bring except strife? I mean I don't like your state, but hating you ain't the answer. Idk you so how can I hate you?

I do know and understand that my harshness may have been because me not understanding Islam. Actually it was because of some verses.

I'll be peaceful. But seriously my grandpa was like one of the kindest. Not like I see Islam.

Allah SWT knows best your hearts, and I am tired of acting self-righteous and prejudiced using one ayat and labelling every kafir ignorantly.

I think being with good muslims is a good idea. I don't like to act prejudiced and bigoted. May Allah SWT forgive me if I said any wrong. Ameen. And Allah SWT knows best
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ardianto
05-30-2016, 05:16 AM
@Serinity

Pygoscelis is right, you should talk to other Muslims to seek guidance. Yes, bro, the cause of your doubt is because you have been trapped by a group that claim themselves as the only right group, while other Muslim groups are deviant. I guess, they use hadith of 73 sects to claim themselves as the only saved sect. It cause doubt in your heart. In one side you that their Islam is extreme. In another side you feel that if you disagree with them, then you are deviant.

Brother, only Allah who know which the saved sect is!. So don't be deceived by a group which claim that they are the saved sect.

Leave them, and start learn Islam from other Muslim scholars. Do not stuck only in one group, but learn from scholars from various groups.
Reply

Serinity
05-30-2016, 05:31 AM
I know being good is Islamic, but they make it seem being good makes you deviant, being human makes you deviant. Like I follow my fitrah and it says that what those guys say is wrong.

So Following my fitrah is following Islam.
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 08:28 AM
Originally Posted by popsthebuilder
One cannot have compassion, mercy, or kindness without empathy. I haven't read anywhere that we are supposed to be cold callous people towards any. And you are right. It is illogical. How can you show mercy toward a others without empathy? How can you feel empathy without knowing of your own pain first?

How can one be giving if they only want for themselves?

I understand you are of Islamic Faith and will not tell you to read other books; but I will say that perhaps you need to read yours without preconceived bias.

You cannot have mercy without compassion.

Lack of mercy on our part towards all without bias, will be reciprocated back to us in our judgement.

Peace friend.

I wish I could be of more help.

Be thankful to GOD for all things, mostly tests and trials. As with great potential comes great responsibility.
This is what I've been suppresing for so long, whenever I feel empathy or sad, or affection to a kafir, a verse stating no love to kuffar who oppose Allah SWT..

Oh, I didn't even understand the word compassion.. I thought "so show compassion without compassion, artificial compassion?" but nooooooooooooo
Reply

Umm Abed
05-30-2016, 08:39 AM
You were doing so well, Serinity, hope you find peace within yourself again.
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 09:11 AM
you know what. I will just copy the Islam of @Kiro and let go of all this hatred and stuff. :D

I will seek out the peaceful Muslims and avoid the violent ones.
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Umm Abed
05-30-2016, 09:13 AM
Originally Posted by Serinity
you know what. I will just copy the Islam of @Kiro and let go of all this hatred and stuff. :D

I will be as I am to Muslims and kafirs, although there will always be a gate closed, which is fine tbh.
I dont think you had any hatred to start of with, you'r just confused with your own feelings.

Remember dont rely too much on your logic. Follow Islam with true acceptance.
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 09:17 AM
Originally Posted by Umm Abed
I dont think you had any hatred to start of with, you'r just confused with your own feelings.

Remember dont rely too much on your logic. Follow Islam with true acceptance.
Well, my Fitrah says to be as good as you can be and just and stuff. Islam says to enjoin good and forbid evil, and I know what that is.

I will do what I can in my wisdom and if I go against the Quran then may Allah SWT forgive me, cause I honestly can't keep reffering to the Qur'an.. Even if I wanted to.
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Umm Abed
05-30-2016, 09:20 AM
Originally Posted by Serinity
Well, my Fitrah says to be as good as you can be and just and stuff. Islam says to enjoin good and forbid evil, and I know what that is.

I will do what I can in my wisdom and if I go against the Quran then may Allah SWT forgive me, cause I honestly can't keep reffering to the Qur'an.. Even if I wanted to.
I trust that you do not go against the Qur'an. If you want to refer to the Qur'an and have a doubt in a certain matter it is better to get it cleared first.
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 09:25 AM
I think I need more exposure to good Muslims, and their view on Islam, and a peaceful Imam. ( I know one Alhamdulillah, my brother know that is. )

Dw tho, I am firm on my Aqeedah, it is just the morale side.
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Umm Abed
05-30-2016, 09:28 AM
Alhamdulillah. Keep in good company always.

May Allah keep you firm on deen of Islam ameen.
Reply

Insignificant
05-30-2016, 10:21 AM
Originally Posted by Serinity
you know what. I will just copy the Islam of @Kiro and let go of all this hatred and stuff. :D

I will seek out the peaceful Muslims and avoid the violent ones.
May Allah subhano wa T'ala elevate the characters of the Ummah, a little closer to that of Rasulallah SAWS. Amin
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Insignificant
05-30-2016, 10:23 AM
Wow... Baraakallah
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 11:21 AM
I have 5 verses or so that causes me doubts.. Or should I say my understanding of it.

JazakAllah khayr everyone for being patient with me and kind. This is the Ummah of The Prophet SAW. I feel empty tho. But I know what I should do. May Allah SWT enlighten me and make all the doubts come to mind when I speak to this Imam and finish it once and for all. Ameen.

Btw, should we really be judgmental against those kuffar who attack us? there are 2 verses, which say that if the one who attacks you - do not be kind, or is it that we should not befriend but still be kind?

I mean, there are kuffar with a preconcieved bias against Islam, so attacking them or being rude and cruel would just further them in their hatred, right?

I admit, I have some preconcieved bias towards Islam, but I do not act upon it cuz I know these doubts are wrong and from shaytaan.
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popsthebuilder
05-30-2016, 01:08 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
This is what I've been suppresing for so long, whenever I feel empathy or sad, or affection to a kafir, a verse stating no love to kuffar who oppose Allah SWT..

Oh, I didn't even understand the word compassion.. I thought "so show compassion without compassion, artificial compassion?" but nooooooooooooo
By kafir I assume you mean non believer.

Know that the only real non believer is he who knows the will of GOD in his life yet actively goes against it.

Consider the rest ignorant and as such not exactly against GOD
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 01:21 PM
Originally Posted by popsthebuilder
By kafir I assume you mean non believer.

Know that the only real non believer is he who knows the will of GOD in his life yet actively goes against it.

Consider the rest ignorant and as such not exactly against GOD
I understand that they may not be against Allah SWT, and may Allah SWT guide those, and Allah SWT is the best judge, and I can't judge.

But the one's who know about Islam and has not accepted it after knowing it etc. Is a kafir. I can't exactly call someone who doesn't believe in Islam a muslim, as one is only a Muslim by believing in Islam.

So per Islam anyone who is not a Muslim is a kafir, and Allah SWT knows best how their end is. After all Allah SWT is All-Just.

But it isn't for us to sentence someone to Hellfire. we can only assume, and the rest is up to Allah SWT.
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Pygoscelis
05-30-2016, 02:32 PM
Originally Posted by Serinity
I understand that they may not be against Allah SWT, and may Allah SWT guide those, and Allah SWT is the best judge, and I can't judge.

But the one's who know about Islam and has not accepted it after knowing it etc. Is a kafir. I can't exactly call someone who doesn't believe in Islam a muslim, as one is only a Muslim by believing in Islam.

So per Islam anyone who is not a Muslim is a kafir, and Allah SWT knows best how their end is. After all Allah SWT is All-Just.

But it isn't for us to sentence someone to Hellfire. we can only assume, and the rest is up to Allah SWT.
Are you assuming that everyone that hears of Islam believes it and that those that don't become muslims knowingly reject it?

Pops is Christian, so is a non-believer in Islam. Pops isn't that way because he intends to go against God. He simply has a different understanding of who God is and what God wants. I, as an atheist, have a third understanding, and I am also not holding it for some malicious reason or to knowingly go against God.

As for not feeling compassion for non-muslims, and as for hating, does it actually say anywhere in the Quran that you are to hate? Not loving doesn't mean hating. And refraining from for example going to a party with somebody where there will be alcohol and dancing doesn't mean hating either.

If the Quran really did require you to hate non-muslims, I dont think Islam could have survived long nevermind spread so widely. After all, every convert was once a non-muslim.
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Pygoscelis
05-30-2016, 02:42 PM
Originally Posted by popsthebuilder
Know that the only real non believer is he who knows the will of GOD in his life yet actively goes against it.
A non-believer does not know the will of God, by definition. I think you need a new word, and Kaffir seems appropriate.

Consider the rest ignorant and as such not exactly against GOD
That would be the real non-believers.
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 02:49 PM
Originally Posted by Pygoscelis
Are you assuming that everyone that hears of Islam believes it and that those that don't become muslims knowingly reject it?

Pops is Christian, so is a non-believer in Islam. Pops isn't that way because he intends to go against God. He simply has a different understanding of who God is and what God wants. I, as an atheist, have a third understanding, and I am also not holding it for some malicious reason or to knowingly go against God.

As for not feeling compassion for non-muslims, and as for hating, does it actually say anywhere in the Quran that you are to hate? Not loving doesn't mean hating. And refraining from for example going to a party with somebody where there will be alcohol and dancing doesn't mean hating either.

If the Quran really did require you to hate non-muslims, I dont think Islam could have survived long nevermind spread so widely. After all, every convert was once a non-muslim.
Look, I am not to judge hearts, you may be sincere, I can't judge. But all I know is Allah SWT will deal justly and Allah SWT will not wrong anyone.

But I do know to have a positive outset on life.

There are 2 types:

One is ignorant
The other is arrogant.

All in all, Allah SWT is the judge. I have no ill feelings against you, you are probably a good human, but I don't like the state you are in, not out of hate, but because I like to see people on the straight path. I like to see people convert to Islam.

But I can't convert people to Islam, I know. So one has to at least tolerate people's choice. Tolerating doesn't mean accepting..

and you are right, if the Quran did say for Muslims to hate non-believers, I couldn't imagine a non muslim wanting to convert to Islam.

But from an Islamic perspective anyone who is not a Muslim is a non-believer. And Allah SWT knows best who goes to Hell, and who doesn't.

Realise that I am not saying a non muslim is not sincere, or that any christian like pops is not sincere or kind, there are.

and I am not trying to put out that we Muslims should hate everyone, or that the non muslims are all evil, they are not, I know. But they have disbelief in their heart, and anything that leads to Hellfire is evil, and misleading. Not to say that the person himself is evil.
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 06:27 PM
Guys I am at peace now, I confused the verses of war with verses of peace / neutrality.

I confused hatred for the bad deeds of kuffar with hatred for kuffar themselves.. I confused rulings of war with rulings when it is peace. I confused ettiquettes during war with ettiquettes during peaceful times / or times when not under attack.

So killing a person in war is a good and righteous deed (when you are really forced to I think?) but killing now would be a disgusting deed.

I was always conflicted cuz one ayat said to be harsh and kill, the other the opposite. I now understand it has to do with times.

I will keep asking but for now I will take a break and focus more on school, as Allah SWT doesn't want me to fail, and college is an important part of learning.
Reply

popsthebuilder
05-30-2016, 08:39 PM
Originally Posted by Pygoscelis
A non-believer does not know the will of God, by definition. I think you need a new word, and Kaffir seems appropriate.



That would be the real non-believers.
I beg to differ as the ignorant are safe or judged by their deeds alone where as those knowing believers and hypocrites have the knowledge and turn from it often turning others away from truth as well.

It is my personal findings that many atheist or deists insist they are the hypocrite or damned, that just isn't the case for most though.

I would also like to add that you stated that I am a non believer of Islam because I am Christian.
This isn't accurate.

Based on my reading, studies, and what initially brought me into Faith in the One Creator GOD, I make no distinction between Faith. I understand there to be different perceptions or views regarding GOD, but that the attributes, and man's direction by the will of GOD is without change between different faiths.

What I am trying to say is that the Qur'an, bible, and many other writings refer to the same singular creative GOD responsible for all existence. Though time and cultural differences may interpret or describe things somewhat differently, they refer to the same GOD, for the same reasons. This extends past even the Abrahamic faiths.


In my humble opinion

Peace
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Serinity
05-30-2016, 09:13 PM
I think we all can agree on what it means to be good, this is not rocket science. It seems I confused war and being at peace or neutral. But I will continue asking.

But one thing I know is to follow my fitrah, and follow what I know deep inside to be good, and avoid confusions.

I really from the bottom of my heart try to just be a good Muslim, and I want no harm.

I sometimes don't understand some ayats, but I have to keep in mind that Allah SWT is All-wise and thus jumping to conclusions on 1 ayat is just ignorance.

See me as judgmental or whatever, but I honestly am just trying to understand Islam, and I do know I've gone from one extreme to another. From intolerance to tolerance, from being harsh to being kind, etc. Fluctuating.

me calling being good not rocket science yet here I am -.-' If I've ever been rude, I apologize.

@Pygoscelis I have noticed that you said I was harsh and intolerant. Know that it was not because I hate you as a person, cuz I don't know you, but rather I didn't understand myself, nor did I understand Islam, so yeah..

Idk, we do disagree on beliefs and stuff, and this is a big jump, but lets just shake hands and end this.. If I don't start showing mercy how can I expect mercy in return. I don't seek anyone's pity. I am just trying to better myself.

I forgive all the extremists who have brainwashed me and I henceforth won't let anyone destroy my view on Islam, and I will strive to do good, cause why do evil?

This sounds so cheesy of me.. XD
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Pygoscelis
05-31-2016, 01:34 AM
GROUP HUG! :)
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Serinity
05-31-2016, 09:28 AM
*Hug*

There is nothing kufr about following the Fitrah, yeah? Sometimes when I read a verse in isolation ( I know not a good idea) in my fitrah, the way I understand some verses, goes against the very core of the fitrah.

I'm probably overthinking, nothing wrong in thinking, double-checking, and stuff.

anyways if something is bothering me then it is obviously my understanding of it that is flawed. Cause why would so many kafirs come to Islam, cause the way I saw Islam, back then, it was illogical.

Anyways, I will think for myself, and stuff like that.

EDIT: actually my whole point is illogical, of course I should think, reason and follow my Fitrah! Doing otherwise is being like a sheep, and I doubt Allah SWT says that..

Only by thinking, reflecting and searching can one reach Truth, Al-Islam.

May Allah SWT forgive me if I said any wrong. Ameen.
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Serinity
05-31-2016, 03:18 PM
I feel really bad for being cruel at heart. I was blind to the good character of the Prophet SAW. I will try to emulate his (SAW) character for now.

Alhamdulillah now I can start fresh. In shaa' Allah.
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world citizen
06-06-2016, 12:19 AM
IMO, I really believe that in Islam is the most balanced of the three divinely revealed religions, and it was the last one, so this makes sense.

The Jews are the most harsh in terms of their beliefs. Look at the many verses in the Old Testament/Torah and look at the Talmud. They are taught that non-Jews are basically beasts, and that they are only there to serve the Jews. And they are not encouraged to try to bring in converts to their religion, unlike Christians and Muslims. Of course not all Jews are like this, but this is in a general sense.

The Christians on the other hand are taught that God/Jesus loves the sinner as if it doesn't matter what people do (but at the same time Christians believe that if you don't accept Jesus as your lord and savior, then you are going to hell - so what good is it if that according to them Jesus or God "loves" you?), and that when people are wronged to in essence always turn the other cheek. However, how are you supposed to defend yourself?

So with Islam, this is a middle path. A way to live that is a balance of sorts between the two extremes. And I'm aware of these verses that teach to be harsh against the disbelievers. There are others that teach to be kind, fair, and just even if is against yourself and in favor of the non-believers. Correct?

And also I think that certain Sunni Muslim sects IMO seem to emphasize the more harsh verses to a certain extent. Not saying they are wrong. There's a time for these verses, but as far as I have observed, Muslims are taught to be the middle nation, the one that is not one of the two extremes, and the one that takes the middle path, etc.

There's a story about Ali in the Hadeeths. It's beautiful actually. He's on the battlefield. You guys probably know it. And the bottom line of the story is that he stops himself from doing something out of anger, because this would have been from his Nafs (desires?), and not for the sake of God.

There's another story I've heard in the Hadeeths that say that the Prophet Muhammad is in essence like someone standing at the front of a campfire at night, and he's trying to catch the moths before they fly into the fire, as of course moths are attracted to the fire. And this represents that he was a Mercy sent to all of humanity by God to help people not enter the Hellfire in the same way that someone would try to stop moths from going into a campfire at night. And this is another way to look at the fact that Muslims need to at times not be harsh but merciful to others because God is merciful and God doesn't want people to go to the hell fire.

Please correct me if I'm wrong. Thank-you.
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world citizen
06-06-2016, 12:26 AM
Oh and I'm sure you are in no way "evil."

You should never thing that.

You sound like you're decent and kind but like a lot of people to some degree or another, you have stuff you've got to deal with and take care of.

Peace and blessings
Reply

world citizen
06-06-2016, 12:27 AM
*think
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