Marriage Advice

[SarahM]

Assalamu Alaikum,

What advice do you have for a Muslim woman who has received two marriage proposals: one from an (apparently) religious man who lives in the West and the other from a comparatively less religious man (from what she does know of the two people) who lives and works in Saudi Arabia. The woman's father passed away some time back and the mother has stated that she would be supportive of the daughter's decision in this matter, although she has indicated a slight preference for the second option (the guy who lives in Saudi Arabia) because he comes from the same family. Since the girl does not communicate with either, she is not sure of the level of religious commitment of the second guy. She knew the first guy in a professional capacity, and overall his character and religiosity are fine (from what she has gathered). On the other hand, she worries about the difficulty in practising Islam completely and freely in the West, and thinks bringing up children (if Allah wills for her to have children) in an Islamic environment, would be easier in Saudi Arabia. However, she has slight doubts about this second person (who lives in Saudi Arabia) because she checked his facebook and he had liked some pages of an inappropriate nature. Is it fair to judge him based solely on his facebook profile? She has prayed istikhara. Do you have any advice for her? Jazakallah khairun.

[eesa the kiwi]

the first guys sounds ideal but i do understand your worries about raising children in the west. cant you voice your concerns to him? be like "subhannallah i am interested but i fear for any children raised in the west so i want to make it a condition that if we have kids we emigrate to a muslim country" or something like that

this is just an opinion so take it or leave it
allahu alim

[Bhabha]

Where is the girl from? I think this will also impact the decision.

[Insignificant]

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[noraina]

We don't know the full situation in detail, obviously, and it would be difficult to generalise, but I would suggest she marry the man who's religion and character she knows is sound.

While Muslim societies do indeed have less fitnah, they are by no means perfect - no country is perfect tbh. And I think what will make a marriage successful is independent of location, or ethnicity, or wealth, it is the character and deen of the couple which will make it a success inshaAllah. It can be hard sometimes in the West, but it isn't that bad, and either way when bringing up children the tarbiyah and values you instil in them will be the same wherever you live.

If I was making the choice, I would make that decision. Qualities such as character have nothing to do with location - I mean many of us here are Muslims living in the West, and we've turned out okay. :D Don't rush into anything, do your research, feel confident about your decision, and make lots of dua inshaAllah.

[SarahM]

What do you suggest are some ways to thoroughly verify a person's character and religious commitment?

[Insignificant]

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[ukmuslimah]

Pray istikhara. It will give you a clear decision, that days and days of deliberating and thorough research won't.

[ardianto]

What do you suggest are some ways to thoroughly verify a person's character and religious commitment?

You can know someone's character and religious commitment, only if you know him closely.

If you want to know about someone who is not close with you, it's better if you seek information from someone else who know close with him.