Promise to Allah not fulfilled

Assalamualaikum,
I have been in relationship with a guy for past 1 year. He proposed to me quite a while ago since then I have been asking him to speak to his parents but he couldn’t (due to fear of them denying it). I was all dishearten and I finally swore to Allah infornt of this guy that Ife he doesn’t bring proposal to my home within next week I shall break every relation with him and keep none later. He begged me for more time but I didn’t so upon so much pressure finally he did speak to his entire family and they somewhat agreed as well but his mom asked for 2 3 days time to think before calling my mom, unfortunately this all happened when the week was about to end and last night the week ended. He told me his mom asking for 2 days only within two days she will make call and this way we did not really break promise. Now I want to know since it’s not a sin but religiously good deed that I will be committed to a man officially with my parents will, am I supposed to still carry the oath? Can I break it ? If I break it what do I have to do as expiation ?

I will ask the scholars for you if can wait to tomorrow inshallah
Thank you sister ...
May Allah make it easy for you

w3lekum assalam

your oath was:

summi said:

Ife he doesn’t bring proposal to my home within next week I shall break every relation with him

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the question is it a valid oath in the first place ?

when you said "within next week" .. it makes your relationship with the guy in the "current" week back then as okey.. but it was haram in the first place ...



regardless ...

“Allaah will not punish you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He will punish you for your deliberate oaths; for its expiation (a deliberate oath) feed ten Masaakeen (poor persons), on a scale of the average of that with which you feed your own families, or clothe them or manumit a slave. But whosoever cannot afford (that), then he should fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths when you have sworn. And protect your oaths (i.e. do not swear much)” (5:89)


> The expiation is to feed or clothe ten poor persons or to free a slave. The one who cannot afford to do that must fast for three days.

The fact that it is 'happening', I guess that the process has begun, he HAS spoken to his parents and they are considering it. He has not left it hanging so I would say that the work has started... you can cut him some slack.


eace:

*Yasmin* said:

w3lekum assalam

your oath was:



the question is it a valid oath in the first place ?

when you said "within next week" .. it makes your relationship with the guy in the "current" week back then as okey.. but it was haram in the first place ...



regardless ...

“Allaah will not punish you for what is unintentional in your oaths, but He will punish you for your deliberate oaths; for its expiation (a deliberate oath) feed ten Masaakeen (poor persons), on a scale of the average of that with which you feed your own families, or clothe them or manumit a slave. But whosoever cannot afford (that), then he should fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths when you have sworn. And protect your oaths (i.e. do not swear much)” (5:89)


> The expiation is to feed or clothe ten poor persons or to free a slave. The one who cannot afford to do that must fast for three days.

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Assalamualaykum, I have to agree with sister Yasmin, there is never any khair and barkah in a relationship based on unholy communication and interaction however what is done is done now you must both make taubah and istighfar and start afresh in the halal way and iA he will make it easy for you both.

greenhill said:

The fact that it is 'happening', I guess that the process has begun, he HAS spoken to his parents and they are considering it. He has not left it hanging so I would say that the work has started... you can cut him some slack.


eace:

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I agree, since he had taken action within the week, I believe it would not be counted as sinful i.e you have not broken your oath however let me state again that your communication with him is haraam. I mean no offence, just to inform. May Allah give you both patience and forgive all your sins, ameen.

I would also advise against making such oaths as we humans are barely true to our word, it would be dangerous to needlessly swear upon Allah for such small matters or even major issues, using Allahs name in order to acquire something is not what we're about.

abs said:

I would also advise against making such oaths as we humans are barely true to our word, it would be dangerous to needlessly swear upon Allah for such small matters or even major issues, using Allahs name in order to acquire something is not what we're about.

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I agree with this too!


eace:

If he earnest about marring her then she can marry him and do the kaffarah of Yamin is to feed ten poor parson or if you don't have or can't .. then you fast 3 sequential days

Response in Arabic
إذا كان جاد في الزواج فتكفر كفارة يمين وتقبل الزواج منه
إطعام عشرة مساكين أو كسوتهم فإن عجزت فصيام ثلاثة أيام متتابعة ولا يصح الصيام مع القدرة علي الإطعام
الشيخ الفوزان by
May Allah bless your marriage .. every patience you do to worship Allah and every strive for obeying him will make you happy in this life and in the hear after

Oh, I cannot thank you enough for doing this favor. May Allah bless you all whoever replied. JazakAllah.