Hanson supporter reads Quran entirely for the purpose of belittling Islam

[Abz2000]

And there was me wondering how on earth he read and understood it in one day, he does explain at the end though......

Satire:

Hanson supporter reads Quran entirely for the purpose of belittling Islam

Local ‘Anti-Halal’ Facebook group moderator Scotty Bowers is sick of*being called ‘uneducated’*and ‘an idiot’, and last week he finally decided to do something about it.

Putting aside his prejudices, Scotty took the unlikely*step of visiting his local mosque, spending an*entire day there pouring over a copy of the Quran and immersing himself in Islamic culture.

The experience has left the supporter of Pauline Hanson’s One Nation*a changed man, and more importantly he says, “A man*who*can now say he has read the Quran when*condemning*Islam online.

”Scotty claims*reading the Quran is becoming a necessary part of being anti-Muslim in the modern*age, and many of his ‘Anti-Halal’ followers have done the same. “It used to be that you could hate a*billion people without needing anything more than a gut feeling and*a job on breakfast*TV,” says Scotty. “But these days you really need an education to stay ahead of the curve, otherwise an immigrant*could easily come in and take*that job from you. I’m really worried that*Muslims will take*all the “Anti-Halal” movement jobs.”

However, questions have been raised about the validity of Scotty’s claim to have read the Quran, with friends pointing out that Scotty is pretty much*illiterate.*When questioned by The Chaser, Scotty*confessed that in hindsight he probably should have bought the audiobook, or at the very least*the plain English version of the Quran.

“I ended up with the Arabic version” explained Scotty, “but I just stared at each word until it felt like it counted, then moved onto the next freaky alien squiggle.”

Following his success in conquering the Quran, Scotty says he is keen to tackle other more challenging books. First*on his list is*the Bible which, being a devout Christian, Scotty*has is planning to get started on “any day now”.

http://www.chaser.com.au/2016/quran/

[Muezzin]

Are you sure this isn't a spoof article?

It's like something from the Onion.

[Abz2000]

God knows, some of their other articles were almost as ridiculous though.
and if it was a spoof, it sure sounds familiar - considering what comes out of fox news' showroom.


Edit:
i just clicked the link at the bottom of the article and scanned a few more stories and edited my original post, here's a good one:


Reports have surfaced this week that Chimpanzees have started denying being related to humans, following a series of humiliating blunders by the human race that has seen the species somehow stuff*up a census, lose their minds over some green water, and nominate an orangutan for President all within a matter of*weeks.

Christopher Von-Clouse the head spokesman for his local community of chimps was appalled to hear the way humans have been acting since being left behind by the more evolved Simian species.“It’s sad what these poor humans have been reduced to,” says Von-Clouse “I may fling my faeces at the mate of my choosing, but even I think going on TV shows like The Bachelor is a really shitty way for them to be*finding a life partner.”

After being read just a single thread of comments on a*public Facebook post, Von-Clouse said that it was also clear that humans have not learned to communicate beyond mimicking*jokes and words*that they’d heard from*TV, and that it was obvious*there was no deeper understanding of context in what they were saying.

“The sad thing is that if we’d had*the same number of monkeys typing comments*we would have ended up with a masterwork by now,” says Von-Clouse. “But with humans, it seems the best we can hope for is just a bunch of mangled*Simpsons references.”

However, Von-Clouse believes that there are signs that humans may be*undergoing the evolutionary leap to becoming chimps, pointing out the Footy Show’s Sam Newman, and*The Real Housewives of Melbourne*as possible missing links between human and ape kind.Ending the interview bitterly, Von-Clouse stated, “Some of these*humans are so simple that they refuse to even*believe they’re related to chimps, and frankly I’m starting to believe maybe that’s best for our own reputation.”

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Sounds like the kind of guy Donald Trump would be proud of.

People of few words and fewer brain cells.

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[Abz2000]

This one appears not to be from the onion, although the onion does reflect reality a little better :)

There’s something remarkable taking place in the British countryside this weekend.
Tens of thousands of Muslims from over 100 nations worldwide are convening at Jalsa UK to pledge allegiance to His Holiness the Khalifa of Islam, Mirza Masroor Ahmad.

MI-5 isn’t alarmed. The British Prime Minster isn’t worried. Even Britain’s far right racist Islamophobes appear undeterred. Some might wonder why world governments are allowing the Islamic caliphate to thrive so openly?
Simply put—because they know and understand that this is the Islamic caliphate as it was foretold by Prophet Muhammad himself.

But, the critic will object, every sect of Islam claims they’re following Prophet Muhammad’s model. Fair enough, and this is where the Khalifa’s practical and worldwide example of Islam far supersedes the empty platitudes that define extremist groups.Rather than mere theory, the Khalifa has put forth a proven and peaceful model of how Islam thrives in the modern day. Far from the violence and injustice exhibited by the terrorist attempting to violently overthrow Iraq and Syria, the true Khalifa exhibits peace and service to humanity all over the world.

Many critics of Islam ignorantly claim that the only way Islam can function in contemporary society is to reform the Qur’an itself—strip away the allegedly violent and allegedly unjust verses—and transform it in to a new religion. This assertion is, in one word, nonsense. It is almost as ludicrous as Muslim clerics who believe Islam must be enforced. As the Khalifa of Islam demonstrates, it is not Islam that needs reform—but Muslims. The extremism we see in some Muslim majority nations is not as a result of the Qur’an, but as a result of ignoring the Qur’an and its foundational teachings of universal human rights, just governance, and the equality of all humanity. Rather than responding to ignorant accusations against Islam with empty theory, the Khalifa of Islam leads the world’s single largest Muslim organization—the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community—to demonstrate by example that Islam thrives in the modern context. Not a revised Islam. Not a reformed Islam. Not a renewed Islam. But the revived Islam as Prophet Muhammad himself taught upon Islam’s founding some 1400 years ago.

It is in this spirit that the Khalifa leads the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community across 200 nations worldwide, well over 100 of which will be represented at the 50th Annual Jalsa Salana United Kingdom this weekend. Joining the tens of thousands of Muslims from all over the world are hundreds of Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, non-believers, and Muslims from various sects of Sunni and Shia Islam.

The message of Jalsa UK is simple—enough of Islam inaction. Come see Islam in action. See Islam for yourself and arm yourself with the knowledge to conquer extremist ideology. If you want to see Islam as Prophet Muhammad taught, you will see it at the Humanity First booth leading the effort to serve the destitute and poor worldwide. If you want to understand the Islam as Prophet Muhammad taught, you will learn it at the historic Qur’an exhibition and massive book fair that grows every year at Jalsa UK. If you want to hear the Islam as Prophet Muhammad taught, you will hear it loud and clear in the five separate lectures the Khalifa will deliver at Jalsa UK—broadcast live worldwide via mta.tv. Thus, by public and observable example, the Khalifa demonstrates that the true Islam that Prophet Muhammad established is one based on universal religious freedom, equality of men and women, secular governance, a condemnation of violent Jihad, and an unyielding commitment to justice.

This is why Britain is proud to host Jalsa UK, the largest and oldest Muslim conference in the United Kingdom. This is why western governments proudly send their top officials and delegates to recognize the work performed by the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community in service to humanity. This is why even far right racists in Britain are unable to find objection with the practical model of Islam demonstrated by the true Khalifa of Islam.

But don’t take my word for it.

Come see it for yourself.


http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/11459696

Next time a so called Muslim tells you obl, anwar, anjem and zakir naik are extremists, remember the noble british government approved ghulam mirza.

A small sect of Muslims – who are persecuted and attacked by mainstream Islam – have demanded all Muslim school children swear a US-style pledge of allegiance to the UK to encourage integration.

“Not only should we raise the flag, but everybody in the Muslim community should have to pledge loyalty to Britain in schools”, asserted Khalil Yousuf, a spokesman for the Ahmadi Muslim community....


-----
And i ain't even gonna link those shills at brtbrt

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Sounds like something written by a real emasculated male.

The Ahmadis/Qadiyanis are experts at licking backsides. They've made it into an art. Been licking backsides 127 years and still carrying on.

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

From the time of Ghulam Ahmad Qadiyan Kaafir, their entire religion was based on nothing more than worshiping the British. Worshiping the West as a whole.

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Ghulam Ahmad Qadiyani used to say, "......punishment which is not by human hands but only at the hands of God, such as Plague and Cholera etc. deadly diseases...."

He died from Cholera.

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

The `Aalim who destroyed and refuted the Qadiyani religion was Maulana Thanaa-ullaah Amritsari.

For many years Maulana Amritsari exposed and debunked every single lie uttered by the imposter from Qadiyan. In the end, Ghulam Ahmad Qadiyani wrote the following letter to Maulana Amritsari:

"Dear Mr. Sanaullah. Salaam on those who follow the right path. My rejection and disapproval has been going on for a long time in your magazine. You have always remembered me in your paper as Mardood, Liar, Dajjal, corrupt and have advertised me all over the world that i am a Fabricator and Dajjal, and Liar and that my claim of Maseeh Mowood is absolutely a Fabrication. .....If I am such a Liar and FAbricator, as you remember me in your paper, THEN I WILL DIE IN OUR LIFETIME, because i know that a LIAR and Corrupt does not have a long life and at last he dies as a failure within the lifetime of his fierce opponents with great humiliation and discontentment....If I am not a LIAR and FABRICATOR and is honored by the addresses of God and am Maseeh Mowood, then I hope by the Grace of God that according to the Tradition of God you will not be safe from the punishment of a LIAR. Thus that punishment which is not by human hands but only at the hands of God, such as Plague and Cholera etc. deadly diseases are not afflicted upon you than I AM NOT FROM GOD. This is not a prophecy because of inspiration or revelation, rather just as a prayer i have sought justice from God and I pray to God.... {O my Master! Baseer and Qadeer who is Aleem and Khabeer, who knows my inside the heart! If this claim of Maseeh Mowood is just a fabrication of my egotistical self, in Your Eyes I am Corrupt and Liar and day and night Fabrication is my business, then O my Beloved Master! I pray with great humility in your Presence that kill me in Molvi Sanaullah and with my death make him and his Jamaat happy. Ameen.

But O my Perfect and True God! If Molvi Sanaullah is not right in these allegations which he accuses me of, then kill him in my lifetime, BUT not by human hands, rather by Plague or Cholera deadly diseases, ... but i see that his tongue has crossed all boundaries, he considers me worse than those thieves and dacoits....he considers me worse than the whole world and has spread about me in far away places that this man actually is corrupt and trader and Liar and fabricator and an extremely bad person....Thus now I am now taking refuge in you and requests you that make true judgment between me and Sanaullah. Whoever is in your eyes truly a Liar and corrupt, KILL HIM IN THE LIFETIME OF TRUTHFUL PERSON, or afflict him with some serious illness which is like death. O My Beloved Master! Do Just that. Ameen."

In the end I request Molvi saheb to publish this article in his newspaper and whatever he likes to write underneath it. Now the Judgment is in the hands of God.
Signed: Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, Maseeh Mowood.
Dated 5th April 1907."

-----------------------------

Ghulam Ahmad Qadiyani died the following year (26th of May, 1908) from Cholera.

Died in the lifetime of his opponent. Maulana Amritsari died 40 years later.

Allaah Ta`aalaa Himself exposed and destroyed the satanic Qadiyani religion.

[Muezzin]

Uh, to clarify, the website cited in the first post is a satirical one. They're all spoof articles. Don't believe everything you read.

[Abz2000]

Uh, to clarify, the website cited in the first post is a satirical one. They're all spoof articles. Don't believe everything you read.

Lol the ahmadi one's from huffpost, and apparently, the british government is sponsoring them to "show the moderate version of Islam" to "extremists" ie, pacify the rightfully angered Muslim people and make all the other deluded masses think "awww, why can't everyone be like those ahmadi "real" "Muslims"".

They appear to be flashing dough in America too lol.

They threw the spanner in the khilafat movement in india back in the day too, confused the hell out of the uncertain but curious hindus and weak Muslims.

[Scimitar]

I once saw a super saiyan whirling dervish with led lights on his ankles... Balls out trippy

[Abz2000]

I once saw a super saiyan whirling dervish with led lights on his ankles... Balls out trippy

The dervish's version of legal highs.

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

I once saw a super saiyan whirling dervish with led lights on his ankles... Balls out trippy

Weirder things take place at the Barelvi Kanjar Khanas.

[kritikvernunft]

Local ‘Anti-Halal’ Facebook group moderator Scotty Bowers is sick of*being called ‘uneducated’*and ‘an idiot’, and last week he finally decided to do something about it. ...“A man*who*can now say he has read the Quran when*condemning*Islam online. ... ”Scotty claims*reading the Quran is becoming a necessary part of being anti-Muslim in the modern*age, and many of his ‘Anti-Halal’ followers have done the same.

Yes, that is exactly how it works in anti-Islam forums, such as http://forum09.*****************. The worst venom is for anti-Islam people, Islamophobes, who have no clue about the Quran or the Sunnah. In order to be a credible Islamophobe you must pretty much memorize the Quran. Otherwise, you have no credibility. Furthermore, they never attack Muslims in these forums. They just do anti-Dawaah. The problem is that anti-Dawaah almost sounds the same as Dawaah.

Furthermore, look at the categories in the typical anti-Islam forum. You will find almost the same categories as in a pro-Islam forum. They discuss the same news items too, while the most common attack is against people who have never read the Quran and have no clue what they are talking about. The members with the highest status are the ones with the greatest knowledge about the Islamic scriptures.

The really funny thing about these forums is that the most active anti-Muslims members generally end up marrying a Muslim, and change side. This is really not hard for them, because they know the Islamic scriptures much better than the average Muslim.