Food I'm Allergic to

[LaSorcia]

I have food allergies. I can't eat most convenience foods or prepared food, so needless to say, I don't serve them at home. I have asked people not to bring foods to my house that they know I can't eat. Home is the one place I don't have to feel left out about food.

Some people bring food that they know I am allergic to, even after I have asked them not to. I have usually not said anything at the time, but politely made my request known again later.

I think this is rude. How can I confront it politely? In a way that works! lol

[noraina]

I have food allergies. I can't eat most convenience foods or prepared food, so needless to say, I don't serve them at home. I have asked people not to bring foods to my house that they know I can't eat. Home is the one place I don't have to feel left out about food.

Some people bring food that they know I am allergic to, even after I have asked them not to. I have usually not said anything at the time, but politely made my request known again later.

I think this is rude. How can I confront it politely? In a way that works! lol

It's your good manners sis, I don't think it is rude at all.

Especially if they have been told more than once, I think it comes down to either extreme forgetfulness or insensitivity on the part of some people. It isn't something I would forget easily, if it came to someone's allergies.

So sometimes it is better to just say it, politely and respectfully, but definitely let them know. Just say, 'Please don't bring these types of foods, I have an allergy, it can cause a reaction...ect', any fairly decent person should keep this in mind the next time.

[Umm Abed]

It is possible that they have forgotten your request? I think you just have to keep on reminding them on what you can eat, or just have something else that you can enjoy at hand, and the others can enjoy the food that you cant have.

[jameelash]

If they bring by chance u can ask ur family to have it or give it to neighbours .isnt that better

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[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Accept the food which they bring. Even if you don't eat it yourself, you can always give it away to someone else.

In Islaam, we have been taught to always accept gifts. It is never useless. If you can't make use of the gift yourself you can give it to someone who can and who will greatly appreciate it.

[LaSorcia]

The food is not a gift. They bring it for themselves, knowing I can't eat it, even though I provide ample hospitality.

[Umm Abed]

So its a bring and share kind of thing.

Did it happen again?

[Scimitar]

Id hand a sign on the door - "don't bring food to this house"

Scimi

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

In that case, the best course of action is to be frank and straightforward with them and tell them not to bring food you are allergic to.

[noraina]

It reminded me, an old aunty we know for some reason thinks my dad loves a certain dish (which is her speciality) and she is always sending it over.

The problem is, none of us like it at all so we're always giving it to someone else.

It's been so long now we don't know how to tell her :D

[LaSorcia]

In that case, the best course of action is to be frank and straightforward with them and tell them not to bring food you are allergic to.

"So its a bring and share kind of thing.

Did it happen again?"

Lol yes, it happens again and again, even though I have politely asked to not have food I am allergic to in my house. That's why I asked my question. Maybe I didn't explain clearly. I try to gently remind people before I invite them over. Most foods are not an issue, but it makes me sad to see people eating desserts I can't share. Yes, I provide dessert, so I don't know why they bring it!
And I am really allergic to blue cheeses. I can't even breathe them in.

[LaSorcia]

Id hand a sign on the door - "don't bring food to this house"

Scimi

Lol, that's tempting!

[Umm Abed]

Lol, that's tempting!

Maybe stop inviting them over again, say its because you are allergic to their foods..

[LaSorcia]

It reminded me, an old aunty we know for some reason thinks my dad loves a certain dish (which is her speciality) and she is always sending it over.

The problem is, none of us like it at all so we're always giving it to someone else.

It's been so long now we don't know how to tell her :D

Awww, poor Aunty. That reminds me of a gift my mom used to send me for nearly all holidays. I did NOT like it, but I wouldn't tell her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I was so happy when that gift was no longer available, then I didn't have to get it or hurt her feelings!

[LaSorcia]

Maybe stop inviting them over again, say its because you are allergic to their foods..

But I love being hospitable, I want THEM, just not their foods. And if I go to their houses, I won't be able to eat anything. They should be happy, they don't have to cook or clean or clean up afterwards!

[Umm Abed]

But I love being hospitable, I want THEM, just not their foods. And if I go to their houses, I won't be able to eat anything. They should be happy, they don't have to cook or clean or clean up afterwards!

Yes I can understand that :)

Could it be that they think you're just being polite when you say dont bring food?

[Scimitar]

Lol, that's tempting!

and necessitated.

They've all been told before not to bring food to the house - and so, the sign would be just that little nail in the proverbials, so to speak.

Scimi

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

You could come straight out with it and ask them, "Why do you insist on bringing food I'm allergic to?"

[mission2succeed]

"So its a bring and share kind of thing.

Did it happen again?"

Lol yes, it happens again and again, even though I have politely asked to not have food I am allergic to in my house. That's why I asked my question. Maybe I didn't explain clearly. I try to gently remind people before I invite them over. Most foods are not an issue, but it makes me sad to see people eating desserts I can't share. Yes, I provide dessert, so I don't know why they bring it!
And I am really allergic to blue cheeses. I can't even breathe them in.

Maybe you should stop inviting people over as it causes more grieve than pleasure. I think it is always best to be straightforward if you can't or don't like something just let them know.

[mission2succeed]

It reminded me, an old aunty we know for some reason thinks my dad loves a certain dish (which is her speciality) and she is always sending it over.

The problem is, none of us like it at all so we're always giving it to someone else.

It's been so long now we don't know how to tell her :D

Maybe if you didn't answer the door so that the dish gets returned she might get the message after a few tempts.
It is possible whoever you send it to may not like it too.
I think honesty is the best policy this should have been put a stop to a long time ago. After all you don't know how much trouble she may be going through just to make it for you guys.

[darkbro]

what about receiving those foods, and after they left, you give the foods to your neighbour? or to someone else?

dont let the giver know

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

No. She says that they bring the food with for themselves to eat in her house. It's not like a gift for her. Instead of just eating the food she provides, they bring their own which she is allergic to, and that shows disrespect and callousness towards her and towards her home.

[LaSorcia]

what about receiving those foods, and after they left, you give the foods to your neighbour? or to someone else?

dont let the giver know

Yeah, they either eat it all or take it back home.
And you're right, I wouldn't make a point to tell them that I gave their food away.

[LaSorcia]

Well, thanks everyone for your input. I guess I will just keep politely reminding guests that I will provide all of the food and ask them not to bring any, reminding them of my allergies.

And should they forget or disregard, I will try to see it as an opportunity to practice patience and not take offense. I'll need duas for this lol.

[noraina]

That's a very positive way to look at it sis - an exercise of patience.

And I think with enough patient reminding it will come through to those people one day - however far that day might be, lol.