Look at this poem, what do you think?

[Mustafa16]

Shall I compare you to a fresh fruit that never spoils And never decay nor ever boil?
To feed the hungry and bring shivers of memory?
To stay pure and chaste until marriage eternity?
A garden spring of jasmine, and innocent memories
A river of freshness, the first love I have seen
A sun to give light with your tender heart
But burning compassion, and playful darts
The shouts and cries of playful teasing
Which made me mad but now that I’m sad, make you pleasing, since I started leaving
My heart was stone and my words were few, but you taught love, and purity, too
Purity as white as the purest light,
For we were but children and had no sight
And knew not of what we know now

My radiant rose who I have chose
I am the moon, and you are my Earth
You are the sun, that I haven’t chose
But destiny did as warm from the hearth
In wintertime, invincible
As a man needs food to be sensible
You are my queen, and I’d be yours for life
Away from the homeland where there now is strife
I’d protect you and serve you and love you and play with you
And keep you away from the land that would harm you
Despite the gentleness therefrom that lies
For I knew not what I know now

I want nothing but cuddles and kisses from you,
Except whispers of secrets and delicate coos
For if you gave me your kisses I’d give you mine, too…..
And I’d give you my life
For I knew not what I know now

You were my first and I hope to make you my last
To be like garments for you, and you for me
For we knew not what we know now
For we know not what we know now

[Little_Lion]

I am no master of poetry to be a fair judge, but I think it is quite good!

[ardianto]

Quiet good. Although you are still stuck on "school children writing style" which start learn poem from four-line poem. With the form of poem that you have written actually you don't need to force yourself to repeat suffix like teasing-leaving, life-strife. Feel free to use any word because the most important in poem like that is not "sound good", but "impressive", that will make the readers feel what you felt in the heart when you wrote this poem.

Okay, I am waiting for your next poem. :)

[Reminder]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
But no words can describe,
How much Allah (SWT) loves you.

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[ardianto]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
But no words can describe,
How much Allah (SWT) loves you.

It's better if you combine line 1 and line 2 and add more words, like this :

Roses are red, violets are blue,
(fill with more words)
But no words can describe,
How much Allah (SWT) loves you.