I really messed up...

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Zehrah

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As-salaamualaikum everyone

I have really, really messed up and I would like some advice on how to make things better.
During an argument with my brother, I got incredibly angry at him and wished ill on him (I wished that he would fail a very important upcoming exam). Even when I was told to calm down, I continued to wish him ill.
My brother did make me very angry, but he did not say the kind of things that I did. He is a good and kind person and does not deserve to fail.

I already understand that what I said is despicable and really not okay, but I would like advice on how to make things better.
I have apologized to him profusely and he has accepted my apology, and I have repented to Allah SWT and earnestly prayed for my brother's success in his exam. But I don't think it is enough...

I still feel extremely guilty. I do not want to free myself of the guilt, since what I said was wrong and I should feel bad.
Instead, I want to do as much as I can to ensure that he is successful and that my ill-wishes have no bearing on his performance.
Any advice?

In the same vein, I would like some advice on how to handle anger.
I know all about sitting down, drinking water, reading my Quls, reading Aayatul-Kursi etc. and I always intend to do these things, but when I get angry I forget all about it and my blind rage kicks in and I say/do things that I regret... I want to be a better person...

Shukran in advance for your responses.
Also, please make duaa for my brother to succeed. I would never want him to fail because I was too stupid to control my tongue.
 
"Do Not Get Angry" - the prophet Muhammad pbuh.

When you feel your blood burn, seek ice cream with the intent of saying Bismillah before you eat :)

Cool down, in a good way.

Scimi
 
Wa alaykum assalam,

Sis, the bad wishes you made for your brother in that moment of anger will *not* come true. A dua which wishes anything bad for someone without good reason isn't accepted, Allah swt is Just and Merciful. That you have apologised to your brother and repented to Allah swt is enough - nothing you've said will affect his performance.

Make plenty of dua for him though, and may Allah swt give him boundless success. Ameen.

About controlling anger - anger's a very nafsi thing, and supressing that can get so difficult. It's a life-long effort and something you will have to train yourself for.

Follow all the advice our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) gave and, also, if you feel like you won't be able to control your tongue, walk out the room. It isn't the politest of things to do, lol, and is a last resort but it's way better than letting your tongue run away with you. The change of scenery will distract you.

And yes go and eat ice-cream - nothing better if you're feeling worked up.
 
I've moved onto sorbet :D instant calm :D

strawberry and black pepper sorbet with a touch of lime sorbet and I'm smiling while you hit me :D

Scimi
 
Nope with me its vanilla ice-cream with crumbled flake chocolate...pure bliss. Like a legit high :D.
 
Zehrah said:
As-salaamualaikum everyone

I have really, really messed up and I would like some advice on how to make things better.
During an argument with my brother, I got incredibly angry at him and wished ill on him (I wished that he would fail a very important upcoming exam). Even when I was told to calm down, I continued to wish him ill.
My brother did make me very angry, but he did not say the kind of things that I did. He is a good and kind person and does not deserve to fail.

I already understand that what I said is despicable and really not okay, but I would like advice on how to make things better.
I have apologized to him profusely and he has accepted my apology, and I have repented to Allah SWT and earnestly prayed for my brother's success in his exam. But I don't think it is enough...

I still feel extremely guilty. I do not want to free myself of the guilt, since what I said was wrong and I should feel bad.
Instead, I want to do as much as I can to ensure that he is successful and that my ill-wishes have no bearing on his performance.
Any advice?

In the same vein, I would like some advice on how to handle anger.
I know all about sitting down, drinking water, reading my Quls, reading Aayatul-Kursi etc. and I always intend to do these things, but when I get angry I forget all about it and my blind rage kicks in and I say/do things that I regret... I want to be a better person...

Shukran in advance for your responses.
Also, please make duaa for my brother to succeed. I would never want him to fail because I was too stupid to control my tongue.
Click to expand...

maybe you could abstain from many things until he passes..

fast?

although I don't know if it would work.

or if it islamicly correct.
 
You have repented, apologized and made dua for his success. You feel guilty and remorseful. I don't think there's much else you can do . Just reflect over your actions and learn a lesson from it so next time you get angry that you would recall this moment and inshallah the reminder gives you the courage to hold your tongue.

If you are angry then count backward from 20. If you are too angry then leave the room before you do or say anything you would regret.
 

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