Follow your dreams or your heart in istikharah

Ahsalam alaikum everyone.

I am in desparate need of advice.

I have recently met a sister who i really get on with. We have chatted for hours, and i have strong feelings towards her. She has been looking to get married for a number of years,but has always had bad dreams after praying istikharah. We have spoken about marriage (too each other) and again she prayed istikharah, she had no dreams the first 2 nights but now has had a bad dream, i on the other hand have had the most amazing dream and my heart is jumping out of my chest for her, she is perfect in every way. We have even discussed houses! She is very upset she has again had a bad dream,as she says the actual feelings towards me are similar to mine. Surley it cant be possible to both have different dreams for the same request? Everyone i have asked says go with the heart not the dream,the thing is she issohung up on the dream,we are now both really sad and im sure Allah would not want us to feel this way.

Also there may be an element of whitchcraft at play from someone she has previously refused.

So what do we do? I know 100% i want to spend the rest of my life with her.

Wa'alaikum as'salaam,

Islamic thing for you to do is go talk to her wali. Continuously talking to her without wali is not the right way to go nor will it bring Allah's blessing. Seeing dreams is a cultural thinking, it does not have to be a dream. One is suppose to do their homework first, get all the information interested party so an informed decision can be made and then do istakhirah. And then if they feel good about it then should go ahead with it. Whatever happens, Allah will guide you towards whats best for you. So go talk to her wali and let them find out what they can about you till they are satisfied and assured you are good choice for their daughter and then move on to the next step.

It seems she takes istihara too seriously. It is just a method for a sign. It is neither farz nor you have to act according to it even if you dream something. I would go for the marriage.

anatolian said:

It seems she takes istihara too seriously. It is just a method for a sign. It is neither farz nor you have to act according to it even if you dream something. I would go for the marriage.

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Have you read much about it?

islamirama said:

Wa'alaikum as'salaam,

Islamic thing for you to do is go talk to her wali. Continuously talking to her without wali is not the right way to go nor will it bring Allah's blessing. Seeing dreams is a cultural thinking, it does not have to be a dream. One is suppose to do their homework first, get all the information interested party so an informed decision can be made and then do istakhirah. And then if they feel good about it then should go ahead with it. Whatever happens, Allah will guide you towards whats best for you. So go talk to her wali and let them find out what they can about you till they are satisfied and assured you are good choice for their daughter and then move on to the next step.

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Thank youfor your responce, we have full support from her wali, and i have given and recieved so much information, i just know in my heart its right. Before i personaly did istikharah i had an open mind as i did not want to influence my responce, but my responce has been so so strong.

Then talk to her wali and have him talk to the girl. If she feels the same about marriage then say Bismillah and move forward. She should also do protection duas and dhikr for magic if you/she feels that is coming into play from previous suitor.

islamirama said:

Have you read much about it?

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Not so much but all the sources I have read tells that it is not obligatory to act according to the dream. You may misinterpret it.


But I must correct my first sentence. Istahara has a place in Islam and we must take it seriously. But since we may misinterpret it we don't have to base our action on it.