Greetings and peace be with you Nobody's Girl; I am so sorry to hear about your struggles in life,
So, please tell me:
-How I can stop blaming innocent people for all the negative things that's happened to me?
-How I can control my anger and stop hurting people?
-How to be more honest and genuine with myself?
So much injustice goes unpunished in this world, we have no power to put things right, and this makes us angry.
The person who angers you, controls you, they could be your neighbour, or they could even live a thousand miles away. They have a remote control that pushes your buttons; and makes you do things you do not really want to do.
Anger is like picking up a burning coal, with the intention of throwing it at the person who anger us, and the person who gets burned the most is me. The longer we hold onto this burning coal of anger, the hotter it becomes, and we rarely get the chance to throw it at the person who angers us. Anger has to go somewhere, so in the absence of the abuser, we do to our friends, what we would want to do to the abuser.
The only way to find peace, is to forgive your abuser, let go of the pain, if you can forgive your abuser, then you will not feel the need to punish your friends in his absence. Once you learn to let go, you will also come to terms with forgiving yourself.
From now on, whenever think about your abuser, say this prayer for him, and say it often, keep his name in mind……
Now may the peace of the Lord be with you,
May the Lord bless you
May the Lord keep you
And may God's face shine upon you always
And give you peace.
You can never forget what happened to you, but in time you can learn to forget the hate and anger you hold against this person. We can carry these memories for life, they can become less of a burden, the more we are able to forgive and let go, this will also bring you closer to Allah.
In the spirit of praying for a peace that transcends all understanding.
Eric