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Nobody's Girl
10-30-2016, 09:20 PM
Unfortunately it seems that many of people including those closest to me percieve me to be a hypocrite. I don't really understand. When I ask: How am I a hypocrite? They say I'm not sincere and I don't do things for the sake of God. I wish to be left alone as most off the time I'm reserved and mind my own business. These accusations have made me very self-conscious and I start doing or not doing certain things in order to avoid being a hypocrite. Shouldn't we be concerned with our own actions and let God decide who is or isn't a hypocrite. Shouldn't God be the judge of our deeds. I wish I didn't have this life. I actually wish I were dead. It feels so isolating being judged like that. So, I decided until my death comes I will just try my best to let go and move on. I've lost someone I loved very very much but I had to let them go for my own good. And honestly it hurts like hell. I just hope one day I will find closure and that God purges my heart. Anyway, I can scream at them till I'm blue in the face and no one listens. I really really miss being a child, life was so spontaneous and care free. Being a grown up is very hard. I never expect it to turn out this way. Hehe...you're probably wondering what does all this rant have to do with my question. The answer is simply nothing but I just wanted to take this burden off my shoulder.


Anyways, back to the topic. What do you think defines hypocrisy?
Have you ever been accused of being a hypocrite and if so, how did you deal with it?
What is the Islamic view on hypocrisy??


Hopefully this thread will pique some of your interest. Thank you for participating. I am eagerly waiting for your answers. :)
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cooterhein
10-30-2016, 10:30 PM
Hypocrisy is behavior that does not agree with what someone claims to believe in, most often from a moral standpoint. A person claims it is immoral and impermissible to do something or to act a certain way, but they you find them doing that thing.

More broadly, the term can sometimes be used to describe someone who has a religious identity and does not conform to some of the clear-cut prohibitions of that religion....although these waters are considerably muddied by the variety that can be found in any large religion, and sometimes this can be chalked up to undue intolerance of diversity within a religion. Within Islam in particular, it may simply be an accusation of un-Islamic behavior.

Within the Islamic context, it seems to me that in the broader sense, claiming an Islamic identity while failing to pray five times daily (and claiming that it's unimportant) would be a solid reason for calling hypocrisy. Cohabitation with a significant other (outside of marriage) would also qualify. Refusing to take Ramadan at all seriously is another reason that seems pretty good to me. But there are other possible reasons within this category that are far more spurious. Being friends with non-Muslims is a rather nuanced subject matter that may be interpreted in a not-at-all-nuanced fashion. If you don't wear a niqab you are a hypocrite, you must at least cover your hair, ***** where is your hijab....this is one of those things where there is a range of diversity within a large religion, and you should be allowed to make your choice.

But maybe it's not that type of thing. Maybe there are things you've said, or things you've seemed to imply, that don't seem to be consistent with certain behavior of yours. Perhaps this is a misunderstanding. If that is the case, better communication and Lots More communication is the key, make it more clear what it is that you believe in order to make yourself understood. If this is what it is, the last thing you want to do is withdraw. Explain yourself.

I'm not sure which type of thing this is, though. If it's more personal to you- if the charge is that you have personally said things that are inconsistent with what you do- then talk more, interact more, explain yourself. If it's more of a charge of un-Islamic behavior in general, I'm not at all sure of exactly what you'd need to do. It depends what it is. Maybe it really is un-Islamic behavior, there is such a thing. Or maybe it's acceptable diversity within a somewhat diverse religion, and these people are giving you a hard time in service of a certain interpretation of Islam rather than Islam in general. If you truly have done some un-Islamic things, I don't think you need to tell the Internet about that in any detail, but I think you know what to do in that situation. If there's an argument to be made about acceptable diversity within a religion, you'll probably need some help with that, some scholarship some sources, that sort of thing. Even with those things you may not be able to convince anyone, but you may at least convince them that you're doing the work and you're committed to seeking the truth and you're making an honest effort to improve your deen.

Improve the deen? Get closer to the deen? I'm not sure what the appropriate phrasing is. Something with the deen, show these people that you're putting in work on that. You can't just ignore all these people, you did say some of them are people in your life that are closest to you, so if you can demonstrate an honest effort they should at least be able to respect that.

This is not coming from an Islamic perspective, this comes from a Christian perspective, just in case that was overlooked. And I'm sorry about your loss, and for how much you're hurting.
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Nobody's Girl
10-30-2016, 11:16 PM
Thank you :)

I hope you will always be blessed. I guess many of the things you said rings true in my case. I struggle a lot to practice my religion. I try my best not be judgemental of other people but you can never make people happy with you regardless of what you do.

I have found it ironic though, that the person who is quickest to judge and criticise is often doing the exact same things he publicly condemns.

I just wanted to quickly reply. I will write more about this soon God willing.

Thank you again.
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Bosanac
10-31-2016, 09:05 AM
Hypocrites in the Quran are people during the prophets time that declared they were muslim, but then when they were around non Muslims said they weren't really and that they were just pretending/mocking.

Even if someone does or acts unislamic, it does not necessarily make them a hypocrite. We all have flaws. There are Muslims that drink and eat pork for example, eventhough they know they shouldn't and don't try and justify it. Perhaps they're working on it, perhaps not, but these are not hypocrites.

What would make them hypocrites would be if they went around condemning others for drinking/eating pork when they themselves do it.
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aaj
11-01-2016, 05:54 PM
Anyways, back to the topic. What do you think defines hypocrisy?
Cooterhein had described the general meaning of it and how it relates to most of us.

Islamic wise, Hypocrisy means making an outward display of Islam whilst inwardly concealing kufr. Hypocrisy is more dangerous than kufr (disbelief) and the punishment for it is more severe, because it is kufr mixed with Islam and its harmful effects are greater. Hence Allaah will put the hypocrites in the lowest level of Hell, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, the hypocrites will be in the lowest depth (grade) of the Fire; no helper will you find for them[al-Nisaa’ 4:145]

The hypocrites are always confused, always planning deceit and plots. Although outwardly they appear to be with the believers, inwardly they are with the kaafireen. So sometimes they are inclined towards the believers and sometimes they are inclined towards the kaafireen.

You can read more about it here inshallah : https://islamqa.info/en/12387


Have you ever been accused of being a hypocrite and if so, how did you deal with it?
Of course, most have been accused of it. The one's accusing often are less islamic themselves and they use it against you when you do something in Islam and not other thing they want you to do. For example, they would say you are big on no birthdays but you don't listen to your parents, doesn't Islam say anything about that?

Best way to deal with it is, is to admit that you are not perfect and have a long way to go but inshallah you are working on yourself. You don't expect to become a saint over night, we all have our own levels we are at and some of us are trying to better ourselves while others just point at others.

What is the Islamic view on hypocrisy??
Hypocrisy is a serious disease and sin and Allah has promised the lowest of hell for them. In the Islamic sense of the definition, I don't think most of us fall into that category inshallah. In a more secular definition of the sense, yes many of us do say something else and do something else. Which then raises the question, should you not tell others not to do something (like eat haram) or to do something (like pray) if you don't do it yourself or not perfect?

Scholars say that the Quran commands us to 'enjoin good and forbid evil' so we are still bound by the command to give advice to our brothers/sisters in the that regard. We should not let that deter us from it. But if you know something is important, like praying, but continue to not do it while telling others how important it is and should be done. Then that is being hypocrite and something we will get punished for.

And as for others calling you a hypocrite, that is something they should fear. We should be careful in accusing Muslims like that of things without any proof and carelessly. Firstly, they don't know what the person is going through and the personal battles they are fighting inside. And secondly, they should fear that Allah not turn them into that which they accuse others of. Whether you are sincere and do things for sake of Allah or not is something you need to see for yourself. If there is some lacking then that's something you would need to work on. But as far s they are concerned, if it's something they have said once or twice then I would ask them for examples so I can free them of any misunderstanding if that is the case, otherwise thank them for their concern and make dua that may Allah guide us all. But if this is habitual or something they say as a way of attacking you then I would say that you are not perfect and working on yourself and while they are quick to point fingers at others, they should fear Allah and spend more time on reflecting on their lives and see how they are please or displeasing Allah.
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