Islamic Marriage Problem?

[00001001]

salam alaikum,

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I have no idea since just registered a minute ago.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about a problem I keep hearing about on YouTube, various Islamic News Sites and sometimes even Western News Sites like The Guardian. Which is... *drumroll* the islamic marriage problem. Is this a real problem in the Ummah or is this yet another news sensation?

[Ephemeral]

There is indeed a "marriage problem" plaguing the ummah.

We have made haram (Zina) easy and halal (marriage) difficult, resulting in widespread corruption.

We consume Zina through our media like cattle consume grass. Whether it be romantic novels, inappropriate movies, pornography, or sexual magazine/billboard advertisements.

It's everywhere, and considering there are laws to protect Zina, it's very easy to do.

What do you have to do to get married? Pay a certain amount of money, get furniture, be a doctor/engineer, etc etc.

You could be the closest person to Allah and it still wouldn't be good enough. This makes it very hard for many Muslims to marry.

Abû Hurayrah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If a suitor approaches whose religion and character please you, then let him marry. Otherwise, there will be a lot of immorality and corruption in the world." [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (1084) – authenticated by al-Albânî]

[Anam Amrin]

I think its a major major problem.

Most of the people of our ummah are opting out of marriage if not they decide to move in or get settle with people of other faith.

What I am saying is not based upon statistics but mostly what I see around me.

[فصيح الياسين]

I dont feel food about this post....

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[00001001]

So you are saying that the marriage problem is mainly due to threshold being so high? I thought it was mainly because
people just couldn't find a proper spouse, as most parent now assume that their kids should find their own partner.

[00001001]

Most of the people of our ummah are opting out of marriage if not they decide to move in or get settle with people of other faith.

Which gender and at what age exactly?

[Anam Amrin]

I have mostly seen this with men aged between 20 to 30.

[anatolian]

salam alaikum,

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I have no idea since just registered a minute ago.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about a problem I keep hearing about on YouTube, various Islamic News Sites and sometimes even Western News Sites like The Guardian. Which is... *drumroll* the islamic marriage problem. Is this a real problem in the Ummah or is this yet another news sensation?

What sort of a problem is this?

[00001001]

What sort of a problem is this?

It depends which source you listen to, on the more islamic YouTube channels you hear mostly about young people not being able to get married as they first have to get a degree, money, etc.etc. The more western and feminist orientated sources talk more about how females are unable to find a spouse on their level, and going into spinsterhood as they can't find anyone.

[Khadijah.Colin]

I find here in the UK islamic marriages are quite difficult and even more so for reverts. I think particularly due to the influence of cultural backgrounds. Islam has made marriage extremely easy. But it just seems to me that people are quite picky with their future spouses or expectations are high. Sometimes the mahr is an exceptionally high amount and it seems we have the lost the beauty and simplicity of joining each other to help with our deen.

[00001001]

I find here in the UK islamic marriages are quite difficult and even more so for reverts. I think particularly due to the influence of cultural backgrounds. Islam has made marriage extremely easy. But it just seems to me that people are quite picky with their future spouses or expectations are high. Sometimes the mahr is an exceptionally high amount and it seems we have the lost the beauty and simplicity of joining each other to help with our deen.

So you are saying it is less about how hard it is to find a spouse, but rather people simply being picky?

[Khadijah.Colin]

So you are saying it is less about how hard it is to find a spouse, but rather people simply being picky?

Not necessarily. But it can't be denied especially within the younger generation. If you spouse prays and has other good characteristics, then there short comings can be overlooked but I feel some people dwell on the short comings. For example they may only consider marriage to someone who is in good employment.

[00001001]

Which gender and at what age exactly?

Also, have you ever asked them why they want to opt out of marriage or even marry people from the book?

[فصيح الياسين]

و في اللحد مقيلك فما قيلك؟ والى الله مصيرك فمن نصيرك؟؟

[aaj]

I find here in the UK islamic marriages are quite difficult and even more so for reverts. I think particularly due to the influence of cultural backgrounds. Islam has made marriage extremely easy. But it just seems to me that people are quite picky with their future spouses or expectations are high. Sometimes the mahr is an exceptionally high amount and it seems we have the lost the beauty and simplicity of joining each other to help with our deen.

I too think islamic marriages are hard in UK based on what I've heard and known from the Muslims i've talked to over there and read. Most Muslims in UK seem to be of SE Asia background and most of them stick to their own culture and ethnic background. It might also have to do with the fact that UK is very racists towards Muslims and SE Asians (as European nations). The arab girls do ask for lot of mahr so that makes it hard for the guys.

So you are saying it is less about how hard it is to find a spouse, but rather people simply being picky?

I think it's both. People are being picky with in their own ethnic groups as well, such as must be from same town back home, must be this field of study or that, must be this tall, etc. Plus it's also hard to find a spouse these days. There is no real connection in the community so you don't know who in the community is looking and who is not. And the online sites have not been that helpful either.

[00001001]

the online sites have not been that helpful either.

I am actually looking into the problem to build a better solution than is currently available.

[00001001]

the online sites have not been that helpful either.

I wanted to send you a pm to ask a couple of questions. But can't since I registered just yesterday...

[Anam Amrin]

You can't really trust the online sites. I have been on a couple of them and had made it very clear that I am looking for someone who is religious and considers islam to be the way of life. I met a paki online and initially I thought he is a decent guy but slowly he started asking questions which were very indecent . I gave him a piece of my mind and then blocked him from accessing my profile. Anyways I lost hope of meeting someone decent on online website and decided to delete my profile.

[Khadijah.Colin]

You can't really trust the online sites. I have been on a couple of them and had made it very clear that I am looking for someone who is religious and considers islam to be the way of life. I met a paki online and initially I thought he is a decent guy but slowly he started asking questions which were very indecent . I gave him a piece of my mind and then blocked him from accessing my profile. Anyways I lost hope of meeting someone decent on online website and decided to delete my profile.

Sister, may Allah grant you a riteous spouse that you may grow in knowledge together. Ameen

[Anam Amrin]

Ameen.

The only challenge I see is that I don't fit the beauty standards that most Muslims prefer in India. I think if I would have been in USA or somewhere I would been considered pretty coz most of them prefer the golden tanned skin . ☺

[00001001]

You can't really trust the online sites. I have been on a couple of them and had made it very clear that I am looking for someone who is religious and considers islam to be the way of life. I met a paki online and initially I thought he is a decent guy but slowly he started asking questions which were very indecent . I gave him a piece of my mind and then blocked him from accessing my profile. Anyways I lost hope of meeting someone decent on online website and decided to delete my profile.

That can be easily solved by having your wali in the chat also, sadly, no online service has this as far as I know...

[Anam Amrin]

Muzmatch has included the option of bringing in wali into picture ☺

[isha muzhimu]

Asalamu Alaikum Waramatulahi Wabarakati

[ardianto]

The problems that mentioned in this thread are purely cultural. Muslims in Indonesia do not face problems like that.

[Anam Amrin]

That's really nice

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Islamic marriage problem is a very vague lol..what about islamic marriage that makes it a problem?

[ardianto]

There are two factors that avoid people in my place from these problems. Realistic mindset, and parent's understanding.

People in my place consider compatibility, but they see this compatibility from different point of view. If a man realize that he is not handsome, then he will not expect beautiful woman. If a woman realize the she has no degree and not from rich family, then she will not expect a rich man who has degree. They think realistically, rather than never get married, it's better they lowering their criteria of expected spouse.