Are my thoughts unusual?

[Mustafa16]

I am 17 now, and often when I see little girls whose parents are close to my parents that it would be a good idea for me to marry them when they get older....like for instance, my mom has a close friend, and she has three children, two of whom are boy twins one year younger than me, and one of whom is a 5 year old girl......at the moment, I think the little girl Is ADORABLE and so cute...and I see her as a little sister.....I felt a similar way about my brother's friend's sister.....she is in the 2nd grade and hates me now for some reason.....I think it's because her older female cousin (who is 18) told her bad things about me, but I'm not sure if that actually happened.....but I think to myself thoughts like, "when she gets older, she'll be very pretty, and it would bring our families together if I married her," or "if I can gain her trust now, maybe when she's older she'll want to marry me," is this......unusual? creepy? a sign of lonliness? if so, what should I do?

[Serinity]

:salam:

It is natural to find women beautiful, etc. But one has to control it. Usually (I've read) teens change a lot, so they may be unstable. (I am a teen my self.)

Try to ask your dad to ask the girl's dad, etc. or ask yourself or something, but do not bet your life on just 1 girl. She may reject you, and she has full rights to do so, if she wants. AFAIK.

With teens they may say "yes" to marriage, but knowing how teens are, tommorrow they may say "I don't want to be with you anymore..".

Make sure that, if you want to marry, that this is a LIFE long committment I.e. Divorces based on whims is unwise, and may cause trouble.

So be sure, and make no mistake, honey-moon will go, and there will be hateful times, so divorcing on whims and desires because "I don't love you anymore!". Is immature, unless it has legitimacy (domestic abuse, etc.)

If you feel like this, that your perception for a particular woman, may make you not like her anymore, then be aware that, Marriage, is a commitment.

If you feel like divorcing someone because you don't love her anymore, then that is not ok.

IT is perfectly permissible to want a beautiful wife, etc. But honey-moon will go.

It is not all about love, only. But loyalty, and trust.

I guess all this will come naturally, as one gets a wife, etc. If Allah wills.


PS. In marriage you can NOT run away from problems. If something happens you don't like, don't jump the gun too soon. Talk it out, etc. Be creative. Be mentally and dutifully prepared. and Put your trust in Allah. Make istikhara.

Respect, loyalty, understanding, love and trust, on both parties, are essential ingredients to Marriage.

Allahu alam.