Yea, that isn't always true. A great example of this is my new roommate, Kimberly. Her father is muslim but she is not and a lot of agnostics I know have muslim parents/fathers. And the man always being dominant in the relationship is far from truth especially in the west which is why some islamic sects forbid men from marrying non muslim women if they live in the west. And what you are saying about the man being more important in islam than the woman really flies in the face of what I learned and what attracted me to islam, which is the many rights it gives women. Now your saying that essentially a woman loses all her rights upon marriage. Marriage isn't looking like a good prospect now.
The reason your friend/roommate and children of Muslims are not Muslims because the fathers failed their children in giving them their Islamic rights. That is not the norm but the exception. Same goes for who wears the pants in the house. Norm is that the husband is the man of the house, regardless of which society/religion you look at. Even the so called feminists come home and cook dinner and do homely duties more so than a man does.
It is not that one is more important than the other, but rather they are given different roles to play and different level of authority and responsibility given.
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6719, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1829
The great rights that a husband has over his wife are something that is affirmed in sharee’ah, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,
because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great” [al-Nisa’ 4:34]
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”
Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1853; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.
This is not because one is “better” than the other in some egotistical way, but rather one is made to excel the other.
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer (1/363): “The phrase ‘but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them’ means that they are superior in physical nature, attitude, status, obedience to the commands of Allaah, spending, taking care of interests, and virtue, in this world and in the Hereafter, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means’ [al-Nisa’4:34].” End quote.
Of course there are always exceptions. There are very bright women out there and very capable, just as there are very incapable men out there. But given all things being equal, in general, over all, the man is the dominant gender and woman the submissive gender. Which is why the man is the hunter and the women the caretaker.
Islam has given both genders their respective roles, responsibilities and rights. Your rights won't be taken away by marriage, what is given to you by Islam stays with you. We are talking in this thread about the influence of a man over woman in a relationship and the affect of it on the woman,and why it's haram to marry a mushrik man.
Several years back the israeli went on a secrete mission. They had some 500 (i think) israeli go undercover as Muslims to live in Palestine. They were devout Muslims outward and everything, they married Muslim women and had kids. When those kids were about 10 years old. The men told their wives they are jews and are going back to israel, the women can do whatever they want. what do you think happened? The women took their kids and went with their kuffar husbands, changing their religion as well. The influence of the head of the household is real and you will follow him whether it's today or 10 years from now.