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Jasonsk
12-21-2016, 07:50 AM
Salam

What should I do about this feeling of completely hopelessness?

I have no faith in life or people but more then that - I feel great self-loathing. I have no desire for life and my greatest fear is that Allah will leave on this earth alone for meny years to come.

Im wishing for death every day and there is only one thing that is keeping me from ending my life by my own hand, the fear of Jahanam...

At the same time it is not an option to continue living in this hell called life anymore.

Suffering from depression, anxiety, nightmares and regret. I just dont seem to get any better.

I just want to be erased from existence like I was never here.

Im growing suicidal by the minute. In the Quran Allah says that he forgives all sins except shirk.

Will Allah forgive my suicide as I fear that Im on the verge of losing All my remaining Iman.
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Search
12-21-2016, 08:29 AM
:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

:sl: (Peace be upon you)


Originally Posted by Jasonsk
Salam

What should I do about this feeling of completely hopelessness?

I have no faith in life or people but more then that - I feel great self-loathing. I have no desire for life and my greatest fear is that Allah will leave on this earth alone for meny years to come.

Im wishing for death every day and there is only one thing that is keeping me from ending my life by my own hand, the fear of Jahanam...

At the same time it is not an option to continue living in this hell called life anymore.

Suffering from depression, anxiety, nightmares and regret. I just dont seem to get any better.

I just want to be erased from existence like I was never here.

Im growing suicidal by the minute. In the Quran Allah says that he forgives all sins except shirk.

Will Allah forgive my suicide as I fear that Im on the verge of losing All my remaining Iman.
My dearest brother in Islam, you are too precious to Allah. So, please do not give in to these thoughts. I know everything seems hard right now and so take every little to big thing one day one step at a time, brother. Don't overwhelm yourself and please remember that "Allah is with the patient" (Quran 2:163). Just not too long ago, we had a thread about suicide and it may be of some benefit to you to read through the posts there and therefore I'm linking you to the thread: Why people commit suicide?

Brother, I have been where you have been and if you'll read the thread you'll know that the solution to these thoughts is not to act on them but to wait them out to a point wherein these thoughts either will slowly or inevitably disappear as you learn to cope with them and the accompanying feelings instead in a healthy and proactive manner moving into the future.

Brother, please let us know what we can do - as we'd love to help you InshaAllah (God-willing) if you'll let us - so, let us offer you our listening ear and our shoulders as brothers and sisters to have you gain perspective on your life.

The thoughts you may be experiencing may be a consequence of overmuch thinking or due to the influence of shaitaan, which is why I ask you to please listen to this self-ruqya video and let us know how you feel after listening and if you experience any reactions as they may be an indication of your problems having a spiritual dimension. Brother, please realize that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems, and no problems no matter how big are bigger than Allah; while your feelings are entirely valid, your feelings of despair exist because you have lost perspective. Let us help you find both perspective and hope - please, brother - help us help you here for the sake of Allah.

Sincere Regards & Best Wishes,

:wa: (And peace be upon you)
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Jasonsk
12-21-2016, 10:08 PM
I thank you for your reply

Problem is that Im unable to even imagine happiness in any near future.

I really just want it all to end as I have no attachment to this world whatsoever.

I really fear for my sanity if Im left like this in this world any longer I shall truly fall to a place of no return.

Are there duaa to ask for death
Reply

Search
12-21-2016, 10:20 PM
:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

:sl: (Peace be upon you)

Brother, I sympathize with you truly. However, brother, please, I insist that you let us help you - maybe talking with us might help you gain some perspective. What has happened that you feel that you truly cannot move on forward in life?

Brother, in Islam, we're forbidden to ask Allah for death. That said, there is a dua in Islam which has the following meaning and translation and you can read this dua for the intention that Allah do what is best for you:

Prophet :saws: (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "None of you should long for death because of a calamity that had befallen him, and if he cannot, but long for death, then he should say, 'O Allah! Let me live as long as life is better for me, and take my life if death is better for me.'"

اللَّهُمَّ أَحْيِنِي مَا كَانَتِ الْحَيَاةُ خَيْرٌ لِي وَتَوَفَّنِي إِذَا كَانَتِ الْوَفَاةُ خَيْرَاً لِي

I'm sorry I couldn't find the transliteration for the dua. However, you're free to make this dua; but brother, please do not engage in any self-harm and instead see if you can do some breathing exercises and meditation to calm your heart and regain serenity.

:wa: (And peace be upon you)


Originally Posted by Jasonsk
I thank you for your reply

Problem is that Im unable to even imagine happiness in any near future.

I really just want it all to end as I have no attachment to this world whatsoever.

I really fear for my sanity if Im left like this in this world any longer I shall truly fall to a place of no return.

Are there duaa to ask for death
:wa: (And peace be upon you)
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drac16
12-21-2016, 11:23 PM
Wa alaykum salam

I understand what you mean. There are times where I feel the same way. God provides a way out, though. You may not perceive it, but it's there. Just focus on making it through today. Don't worry about how you'll be able to make it in a week or a year from now. Just focus on making it until tomorrow. Allah azza wa jal will give you a sufficient amount of Grace if you rely on Him more than relying on your own efforts. I know that because I've experienced it. :)
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Eric H
12-22-2016, 05:33 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Jasonsk;

Suffering from depression, anxiety, nightmares and regret.
I can only repeat what sister Search has said. My dearest brother in Islam, you are too precious to Allah. So, please do not give in to these thoughts. Despite all our failings, We are all very special to Allah, he does not place a burden on us that is too much for any of us to carry. We have to believe this is true.

The hardest person to forgive is often ourselves, we can live with a deep regret in how we may have caused others pain and suffering. I have found the greatest way to understand forgiveness is by forgiving those who have hurt me. By forgiving them, I have come to understand how I can also be forgiven by God.

Pray for other people. Doing voluntary work and helping other people is a profound way to seek peace. Help the homeless, the sick or elderly, these are people who really need all the help they can get. By helping others, you will help your own healing. We are all given gifts from God, we need to use them.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery, Lord grant me the peace and serenity to live this day and every day, knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand. Lord help me to do your will.

In the spirit of never giving up hope, that Allah loves each and everyone of us.

May you find blessings in all that you do, and may you be a blessing to all those you meet.

Eric
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azc
12-22-2016, 06:46 AM
Originally Posted by Jasonsk
SalamWhat should I do about this feeling of completely hopelessness?I have no faith in life or people but more then that - I feel great self-loathing. I have no desire for life and my greatest fear is that Allah will leave on this earth alone for meny years to come.Im wishing for death every day and there is only one thing that is keeping me from ending my life by my own hand, the fear of Jahanam...At the same time it is not an option to continue living in this hell called life anymore.Suffering from depression, anxiety, nightmares and regret. I just dont seem to get any better.I just want to be erased from existence like I was never here.Im growing suicidal by the minute. In the Quran Allah says that he forgives all sins except shirk.Will Allah forgive my suicide as I fear that Im on the verge of losing All my remaining Iman.
Life is beautiful. Don't make it ugly by hopelessness. Be brave and face the challenges fearlessly. Btw why are you so hopeless...?
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greenhill
12-22-2016, 09:54 AM
I truly did not get the full meaning of the saying

"today is the tomorrow we were worried about yesterday, but all is fine…."

until recently (as i near the 5-0 in just a matter of months). Looking back at the many years I have spent and the challenges I have gone through where on many occasions it seriously felt like the world would end for me. How I desperate I felt, hopeless and incapable, alone and in real need. I could not imagine tomorrow to be really honest, and too dazed to even cry! Even as I look back at it today, decades have since passed, umpteen years, I am still alive and gone are those trying times, but still trying times persists, in different ways, perhaps even bigger in magnitude but you will pass through them all. As long as your heart beats, you will live. (Hence my footnote(?) (What do you call it again?) You decide what those 'moments' mean.

Don't forget the twist in the tail, the harder the challenges, the greater the reward from Allah swt. Allah keeps count and He knows best. What we have to do is to acknowledge that our life is a test and to bear it with patience and remain positive in efforts. Essentially, that is our duty.

Allah challenges people with good and bad. I guess, it is more natural for people to remember Allah in times of trouble. It is a lot easier to forget Allah if life is excellent. We might even be arrogant! Allah forbid. So instead, Allah tests us with hardship so He may forgive our sins if we remain patient and steadfast in belief. We gain. Time passes. What ever the situation, time passes, but what do YOU do? Gain with the passing time or get nothing but suffering still..

Now about you. How do you want your life? Is it based on some other people's lifestyle? You know, I was worst than hopeless as a kid entering teenage, the worst place to be at. First I had to develop some interests. I had to develop the skills and the knowledge about the interest and interact. These develop social skills. Gives you experience with different social circles. It may not be a pleasant experience at first but I learnt that it is a very necessary skill in today's world and I am glad that I have overcome the absolute fear of approaching someone. From a singular friend then introduced into a group and the group dynamics and then extending into other groups and gradually build up of network takes time, lots of time (and I am only referring to one aspect, there are many other areas that I was hopeless, if not pathetic, sickly and stupid kid in class). I had a lot to work on. Had to start somewhere. . .and you can't end. It just keeps going.

Nobody likes to be a friend of a negative thinking person for too long. Don't set up yourself to be one. Think positive and dua that the tests from Allah is to blot out your sins. Less to bear come the Day of Judgement.


:peace:
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Jasonsk
12-22-2016, 11:23 AM
I could talk about my meny problems, about the pain and nightmares and at the end some of you brothers & sisters will say that you understand and some will say that my pain is no big deal. But seriously though the pain is real to cause mental pain.

My soul is broken and Im on the verge of giving up completely.

I don't want this, Im done.
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Ruqaya Vanh
12-22-2016, 02:09 PM
Originally Posted by Jasonsk
I could talk about my meny problems, about the pain and nightmares and at the end some of you brothers & sisters will say that you understand and some will say that my pain is no big deal. But seriously though the pain is real to cause mental pain.

My soul is broken and Im on the verge of giving up completely.

I don't want this, Im done.
Salaam 3laikum brother


I would be one of those which you discribe as "able to understand".
I to faced many difficulties growing up and at a later age. For years I struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts and behavior. So at the beginning of the year I let myself be hospitalised for a few months.
They gave me psychological help (in the form of talks with a psychologist and psychiatrist, no medication, that I always refused), turns out I definitly needed it in order to understand more of myself, my past and to be able to let go of some things.
After a few months I was discharged and returned home. But the emptiness and agony remained. I still thought about death as if it was part of my daily routine.
I was a non muslim at the time, but since many years already had many contacts with practicing muslims and had already several times thought of converting to Islam.
One day I was in the subway, waiting for the metro to arrive when I allowed myself to think about God (swt) again. I pictured how He would react to my thoughts, my behavior and the things I had done in my life, small or large. I was suddenly struck with such a deep feeling of sorrow and sadness that I almost couldnt hold my tears in front of all those people.

This dunja (world), my brother, is a test. And everything we have in this life, including the life itself, the air we breath, the clothes we wear, the water we use to wash our body and to drink, the food we eat, the computer I use to type this very message to you, is a gift from Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala.
We know what happened yesterday. When we look around us, we see with our eyes what happens around us at this instance, but only Allah Subhaanahu wa ta'ala knows what will happen tomorrow. And thinking about a near future, that we cannot ever predict, is like fishing in a pond without water.
Just know that life in this dunja can be rough and it will not be said that you will receive everything that you ask for. But if you are gratefull for the things you have and perform your prair to try and find the approval of our King (swt). You might find some peace of mind.
Because if you feel alone, or helpless. Know that He is always with you. He loves you like no spous, no parent, no child can ever love you. And if you are having a hard time, try to hold on to your faith. Seek his approval and be gratefull for what you have.

If you have unresolved issues, maybe talking to somebody may help you. At a certain degre it helped me to. If you do not want any professional help, maybe go to the imaam of your moske if you trust him. Talking does help, I experienced that myself. But tranquility of the heart you will find through Allah (swt).

If you so your 5 time prairs a day, try to do as many nafila (additional) prairs as well, like shfa al-witr, salaat at-Doha, Ruaatib. Thank him, for everything you can think of, from the chair at the table, till the food on your plate, your fysical health if so, and everything you have. Insha'Allah will your burden be lifted, even if it is a little.

I will do dua for you my brother.
Take care

Salaam alaikum wa rahmatulaahi wa barakaatu
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Ruqaya Vanh
12-24-2016, 08:16 AM
Originally Posted by Jasonsk
I could talk about my meny problems, about the pain and nightmares and at the end some of you brothers & sisters will say that you understand and some will say that my pain is no big deal. But seriously though the pain is real to cause mental pain.

My soul is broken and Im on the verge of giving up completely.

I don't want this, Im done.

salaam 3alaikum brother

maybe this can help you as well, Insha'Allah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD3BFFzoT9g

Take care!
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