How should I deal with an oppressive mother?

[anonymous]

Assalmu alaikum

Oppressive towards others and not necessarily me.

She would for example speak very violently with other people and it may get out of hAnd quite often. This is a woman whom none of her family tmk want to visit because of the way she behaves.

Now, if she was oppressive towards me only I could handle that even if i may stumble. But when it concerns the well-being of other people, that ticks me off to another level. Believe me I feel like I and others have tried everything, from being nice and kind to not so kind to teaching her about the various hadith on behaviour even ruqy but it seems like nothing is working. Almost nothing.

The only thing that has worked so far is behaving as she does so shecan really see how despicably she behaves. But as a son/daughter I don't want to be doing that coz it feels so haram but what else...

I fear for her akhira myself and those around her


She seems to have already pushed some of my family off the path of Islam, so what do I do??

[*charisma*]

Walaikum Asalaam

I also don't agree with treating her the way she treats others.

Just keep reminding her, and make sincere du'a for her guidance. May Allah soften her heart to your words ameen.

I think she's just been that way for so long it's difficult to change, or maybe there's a reason that you don't know about which makes her angry inside (ie. she's holding a grudge against some of those people). So just be patient and keep reminding her, remind her to make istighfaar, and how cutting ties with family is wrong. Try to teach her ways to control her anger and hold her tongue more often...and that's all you can do really.

[azc]

This behaviour manifests her being a patient and patients need sympathy. Same repercussions from others will exasperate her immensely, so patience is the only solution

[anonymous]

Look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Does it describe your mother?

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[anonymous]

Look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Does it describe your mother?

Very much