How to tell a woman that she is being cheated by a man?

[ardianto]

:sl:

Since I was kid I already interested to observe human behavior. Since I was kid too I already interact and socialize with women. I have enough much experiences with women, and learned much about them. What is the most important thing I have learned about women?. I tell you, .... women are easy to be cheated by the men in the love matter.

It's because women have a weakness. They keep a "prince" in their dreams. So when a man who has similarity with the prince in her dream, although just a little similarity, give attention to her, she would feel that her dream has come true, and her mind immediately 'blind'. So she cannot distinguish whether this man really love her or just want to 'play' with her.

And as I have ever said in another thread that I grew up together with the playboys. Of course I really know about tricks to attract, seduce, and cheat a woman.

Frankly, I always feel concerned and sad when I see a woman being cheated by the man who she love, without she realize it. I always feel I want to remind her to make her realize. But from my experience if I told a woman that she was being cheated by the man who she love, she would be very angry at me. But if I didn't tell her, then I would feel guilty because I let her being victim.

Okay brothers, and especially sisters. Do you have idea how to tell a woman that she is being cheated by a man?.

[noraina]

Wa alaykum assalam,

You are so right, I don't know why but women are so easily manipulated and deceived by insincere men. The Islamic guidelines concerning gender interaction are such a blessing - especially for women, they serve to safeguard and protect her.

Within a community, you can hear and see a lot of things. And sometimes it feels like you are watching an awful film on repeat, one that you have seen many times and you just know how it is going to end, in fact everyone knows how it is going to end. But I suppose that human optimism makes someone believe it will never happen to them, because their story is 'special'. All women long to find a man who is considerate, loyal, loving ect, but the problem is a lot of men know that as well.

And it may be my age and inexperience, but I have no idea how you try to tell the truth to a woman in that situation. It is better, I suppose, for a sister to say it to another sister, from a woman's perspective. But, from personal experience, how can you make someone 'see' the truth when they choose to be blind? My cousin was once in a similar situation, and nothing I said could talk her out of it.

Every time I see or hear something, I just say alhamdulillah as I realise the wisdom within Islam as a way of life.

[sister herb]

If a woman is on the "blind" stage with hers infatuation, I don´t think here is much you can say or do. If you try to tell to her the truth she only says as "you are just jealous about my happiness and try to destroy it!" and surely don´t listen you at all. Maybe some people just have to hit the head against the wall and later call it as "life experience".

[Simple_Person]

Great topic i must say. People say "kudos" or something like that.. although i still don't know what this "kudos" is ;D

However in the past during my facebook times, i tried sometimes to help people in giving them some advice. A girl was having a relationship with a guy and i "predicted" what he will do and will say. As i myself am a man and we know ourselves and how we think. So do you want to know how a man thinks, ask another guy :). Anyways, i told that girl exactly what he was doing with her and what he was planning to do with her. I told her, go ask him this and this and that..and these will be PROBABLY the answers. As expected those exact answers were given by that guy to that girl.

So she knew that he indeed was using her. I am also intrigued by human psychology especially women psychology. It is just amazing puzzle to keep yourself busy with.:D

Women like you said want to pursue this whole dream guy nonsense, when you ask them the right questions that those parts still haven't taken place (marriage for example), they somehow give you a slight reply as ..ooh yeah you are right ..time for marriage. So you can "manipulate" her in to departing the train towards marriage. However when doing that, you give her also some relevant questions that uncover the true nature and intention of that guy.

As an simple example. Tell her to tell her boyfriend to introduce her to his parents :D. We guys are disgusting when it comes to using a girl. I ALHAMDULILLAH NEVER had it in me, to use a girl. I back then(when i was an atheist) choose to rather stay rest of my life single then to lower myself like those people who act like animals.

So that girl went and asked those questions i told her to tell him. When she did, he gave her the answers i predicted. Not introducing her to his parents or rest of the family XD. For us men, to introduce the girl we want to marry is not something small. So we don't easily do that. If a guy doesn't do that, just stop thinking further..he is NOT interested in you being his wife.

I have more information regarding women psychology, but it is kind of dangerous knowledge to spread. With a few words, you can seriously break a woman. Till now i have not talked to any woman who is the boss of her own mind and above her own desires/heart. Although i think women who really have at least TASTED imaan once in their life, can or have achieved this level.

I will stop here regarding this comment. Sometimes not knowing something is better for you.

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[M.I.A.]

most people are thick and most people are played..

and by most people i mean all people.

lives well spent i suppose?

..
...she should be ok after that..

..

..and start fasting!!


...
....
because, we all need work and food and experience..

but only some of the costs can be seen.


yes, it seems i am miserly.. god knows what happens when they cash it in.


for those that deny themselves is a great reward..

loosely paraphrases. probably.

you know in a different life i may have been very different... so its very hard to judge..

rab ne bani de jori (2008)


you know lets put it another way..

i know guys that constantly ask me for money..

its very difficult to say that NO because i know they are less fortunate..the struggling..

but at the same time they all suffer from problems related to the clutches of this dunya.. drugs, alcohol and gambling..

it is quite the paradox.

genuinely if only you could take a step back..

you would have no clue what is going on?

strange days.

i dont want to be cursed by these poor unfortunate folk.

whats a halal living anyway?


i need 3 pound to get a bus to my mums.

could you do one job for me bro?

even buying them food feels foolish when they have alcohol on the breath.

it is hurtful, i have no idea what im trading away.


...even religion turns up of its own accord.. and its never a giving hand.

even dawah givers seem to have agendas.. almost patronizing in unaware content...ness in the news they bring.

i have no idea of a life well spent or a life hustled.

thick and played.

[Serinity]

:salam:

Well, women are more "in touch" with their feelings, or are they?

Well, from personal experience, women came to me, I never came to them. So I think, that MAYBE, they judge a man without evening knowing him..

Being around a man for a while, may make her "approach" him.. At least that was the case with me.

Once they are infatuated, they can be manipulated with like fish. idk tho, but that is from experience. Not that I have done anything.
,
I've refused, or played dumb, when someone was "interested" in me. So I just diverted, when some woman was about to say to me "I love you", by saying "I love apples tho, haha, lol, so yeah, tastes good.". I've always held myself back like that. Alhamdulillah.

I hate lust relationships. Or any illegal relationship in general.

Well, idk tho.. this is just experience. Astaghfirgullah for anything wrong, and Alhamdulillah for being saved from such relationships.

Tho social interaction plays quite a role, i am sure. cuz i have seen a lot of people get into a relationship by just being social with eachother.

[ardianto]

If you try to tell to her the truth she only says as "you are just jealous about my happiness and try to destroy it!"

I intended to write an advice for the OP in one thread which I believe she is being cheated by the man who she loves. I detect a trick that I know behind that man behavior. But I was afraid the OP would react like you describe above. That's why I decided to make this thread.

You must be know the thread that I mean because you wrote few posts there.

[sister herb]

Some brothers here write like they know all about women psychology and how easy it is understand (or cheat) them. I am just wondering why here are also so many husbands whose say that it´s impossible to understand women´s mind.

:ermm:

[Umm♥Layth]

THIS is why women need a mahram. PERIOD. Women are easily swooned and this is not a weakness, it is part of the beauty of how Allah created us. I know some men won't like what I say but it is true ;D. How else do you think women manage to stay with losers (in some cases)? Or men who treat them like garbage? Because once a woman's heart is involved, she is blind to all else about her man. She may know he is a good for nothing, but because of her love or infatuation, she will choose to overlook it.

Do you know how many times I've heard a sister justify why she stays with a dirtbag? I include myself here by the way.

Women with low self esteem are especially vulnerable, and men know it.They are usually the ones seeking attention and quick to approach a man. All he has to do is make her feel beautiful, tell her nice things, buy her a nice gift and she's puddy. You cannot tell any woman otherwise, sorry brother Ardianto. She will have to learn her lesson.

I'll repeat this again for any sister reading this. Allah created us a certain way so that we can easily love and nurture our family.It takes ALOT to continue to serve and care for husbands and children after they don't listen the first trillion times you ask something. It takes alot of love and patience to always be the one to eat last and have to pick up after everyone because even though everyone knows what they should do, they don't do it in a timely manner.... I could go on.

It is not a weakness, it is a lovely gift and ability, but if you go around mixing with men, eventually you'll end up hurt.

[Simple_Person]

Some brothers here write like they know all about women psychology and how easy it is understand (or cheat) them. I am just wondering why here are also so many husbands whose say that it´s impossible to understand women´s mind.

:ermm:

Well it is all about observation and pondering. Many of us brothers are too preoccupied with nonsense. What I have concluded so far is a woman is the motor in a household. If you don't, give it fuel the household will collapse. The more fuel you give it the more succesfull the household becomes.

What do I mean by this?. Make her special. Don,t fall in a routine. Be spontaneous. Be romantic. If you are mad go outside but not too long. Apologize because of your behavior. Never argue when children can here you. Ask for her advice and act as a team. When something goes wrong none of you can blame the other as you made the choice together. Bring her time to time a flower. Help her with the household. Make jokes and make her laugh. Star at her and say sometimes how lucky you are that Allah gave her to you. Cook together or sometimes you cook and make her feel as your queen. Don't, refuse her intimacy. Make something special between you and her as for example every evening before going to bed you carry her to bed or something. Keep your body in shape and keep yourself clean. Ask her permission if you may do something. Show you appreciate her efforts. Take the initiative to go shopping together (i know this one is suicide for the legs) and she will see how much her husband invests in her.

There are more things but this is a bit the core of it. Again we brothers don,t invest and are mostly blind for many things. Too preoccupied with nonsense. Many things I alhamdullilah have learned because I live on my own and know hat is missing or should be done. The rest is observation...pondering and asking question and ponder again about the answers and sketch scenarios in your head how things would go if you as a man say X or do Y. Again observe what is happening in real life if indeed these scenarios are in line what what you had sketched in your head.

Observation.. Analyzing the data..pondering...asking question...analyzing the data...pondering ...asking new questions ..analyzing the data...pondering about the data..asking new questions...etce etc..:D..

[Simple_Person]

THIS is why women need a mahram. PERIOD. Women are easily swooned and this is not a weakness, it is part of the beauty of how Allah created us. I know some men won't like what I say but it is true ;D. How else do you think women manage to stay with losers (in some cases)? Or men who treat them like garbage? Because once a woman's heart is involved, she is blind to all else about her man. She may know he is a good for nothing, but because of her love or infatuation, she will choose to overlook it.

Do you know how many times I've heard a sister justify why she stays with a dirtbag? I include myself here by the way.

Women with low self esteem are especially vulnerable, and men know it.They are usually the ones seeking attention and quick to approach a man. All he has to do is make her feel beautiful, tell her nice things, buy her a nice gift and she's puddy. You cannot tell any woman otherwise, sorry brother Ardianto. She will have to learn her lesson.

I'll repeat this again for any sister reading this. Allah created us a certain way so that we can easily love and nurture our family.It takes ALOT to continue to serve and care for husbands and children after they don't listen the first trillion times you ask something. It takes alot of love and patience to always be the one to eat last and have to pick up after everyone because even though everyone knows what they should do, they don't do it in a timely manner.... I could go on.

It is not a weakness, it is a lovely gift and ability, but if you go around mixing with men, eventually you'll end up hurt.

Sister you gave me a CRUCIAL piece of information that indeed fits the picture. Jazakallahu khairan. I immediately thought of Rasullah(saws) when he mentioned Khadija(ra) and that she believed him and supported him when nobody else did.

[Umm♥Layth]

Sister you gave me a CRUCIAL piece of information that indeed fits the picture. Jazakallahu khairan. I immediately thought of Rasullah(saws) when he mentioned Khadija(ra) and that she believed him and supported him when nobody else did.

That is exactly where I was heading :)

[Simple_Person]

That is exactly where I was heading :)

The biggest issue we often have (referring to us men mostly) with women, is we look at them from the logic of the world. While as i mentioned that the CRUCIAL missing information that you brought up, showed me alhamdulillah the perspective of Allah(swt). So women being how they are, makes even more sense. I mean if they would be logical as us men, they would not even stick with us for a second. I mean, I WOULD NOT even stick with myself if i would follow logic to the point.. :Emoji22: so why should somebody else stick with me. So we men have a lot of shortcomings and sub'han'Allah that made me realize while yesterday looking outside the window seeing some male ducks chasing a female duck. The female duck will go to the BEST male duck that can take care of her but doesn't mean she will always stay with him. If this was constantly the issue also with women, then by default women would have multiple husbands. As every man can give her the best that she is searching for. Which would be kind of chaotic to be honest. So logically all makes sense from that perspective.

Sub'han'Allah, later on, i realized also that in the current world how people go against their fitrah. I mean a woman should stick to her husband, but often in the western world, women have multiple partners and not sticking with one partner for all their needs. As multiple partners can each give her what she wants. They are also kind of scary, as when they reach that level they don't feel any emotions anymore. Use men for their own gain being intimacy, money, or just "friendzone" to talk with. While they compared to men are more advanced on emotional level.

May Allah(swt) keep us away from these kind of people and keep us on the right path. Ameen

[azc]

:sl:Since I was kid I already interested to observe human behavior. Since I was kid too I already interact and socialize with women. I have enough much experiences with women, and learned much about them. What is the most important thing I have learned about women?. I tell you, .... women are easy to be cheated by the men in the love matter.It's because women have a weakness. They keep a "prince" in their dreams. So when a man who has similarity with the prince in her dream, although just a little similarity, give attention to her, she would feel that her dream has come true, and her mind immediately 'blind'. So she cannot distinguish whether this man really love her or just want to 'play' with her. And as I have ever said in another thread that I grew up together with the playboys. Of course I really know about tricks to attract, seduce, and cheat a woman. Frankly, I always feel concerned and sad when I see a woman being cheated by the man who she love, without she realize it. I always feel I want to remind her to make her realize. But from my experience if I told a woman that she was being cheated by the man who she love, she would be very angry at me. But if I didn't tell her, then I would feel guilty because I let her being victim. Okay brothers, and especially sisters. Do you have idea how to tell a woman that she is being cheated by a man?.

show her some evidences of her being cheated by the man who does she love or she will take it otherwise

[azc]

The biggest issue we often have (referring to us men mostly) with women, is we look at them from the logic of the world. While as i mentioned that the CRUCIAL missing information that you brought up, showed me alhamdulillah the perspective of Allah(swt). So women being how they are, makes even more sense. I mean if they would be logical as us men, they would not even stick with us for a second. I mean, I WOULD NOT even stick with myself if i would follow logic to the point.. :Emoji22: so why should somebody else stick with me. So we men have a lot of shortcomings and sub'han'Allah that made me realize while yesterday looking outside the window seeing some male ducks chasing a female duck. The female duck will go to the BEST male duck that can take care of her but doesn't mean she will always stay with him. If this was constantly the issue also with women, then by default women would have multiple husbands. As every man can give her the best that she is searching for. Which would be kind of chaotic to be honest. So logically all makes sense from that perspective.Sub'han'Allah, later on, i realized also that in the current world how people go against their fitrah. I mean a woman should stick to her husband, but often in the western world, women have multiple partners and not sticking with one partner for all their needs. As multiple partners can each give her what she wants. They are also kind of scary, as when they reach that level they don't feel any emotions anymore. Use men for their own gain being intimacy, money, or just "friendzone" to talk with. While they compared to men are more advanced on emotional level. May Allah(swt) keep us away from these kind of people and keep us on the right path. Ameen

I think it can't be generalized. Good and bad women are everywhere, in western society too.

[Simple_Person]

I think it can't be generalized. Good and bad women are everywhere, in western society too.

I apologize, i didn't mean it like that. Why i especially referred to western world, is because in the western culture it has become a normal thing out in the public. While culture somehow in other parts of the world restricts this habit. Also, i am not saying majority of the women are like that as i have no proof to say such a thing. Just referring a habit that more often occurs in the west and the whole feminist agenda doesn't really stop this habit. Hope this clarifies it a bit more.

[nightingale]

To tell a woman that she is being cheated by a man...write an anonymous letter. Seriously, most women would take it, at least it will be in her thoughts, when she deals with him the next time.

[sister herb]

show her some evidences of her being cheated by the man who does she love

And you will get as answer: "you are just jealous about my happiness and try to destroy it!"

Hey I know this thing - I have an insider information about how women think and behave. ;D

[Simple_Person]

And you will get as answer: "you are just jealous about my happiness and try to destroy it!"

Hey I know this thing - I have an insider information about how women think and behave. ;D

:Emoji7::Emoji7::Emoji7::Emoji7::Emoji7:

[noraina]

THIS is why women need a mahram. PERIOD. Women are easily swooned and this is not a weakness, it is part of the beauty of how Allah created us. I know some men won't like what I say but it is true ;D. How else do you think women manage to stay with losers (in some cases)? Or men who treat them like garbage? Because once a woman's heart is involved, she is blind to all else about her man. She may know he is a good for nothing, but because of her love or infatuation, she will choose to overlook it.

Do you know how many times I've heard a sister justify why she stays with a dirtbag? I include myself here by the way.

Women with low self esteem are especially vulnerable, and men know it.They are usually the ones seeking attention and quick to approach a man. All he has to do is make her feel beautiful, tell her nice things, buy her a nice gift and she's puddy. You cannot tell any woman otherwise, sorry brother Ardianto. She will have to learn her lesson.

I'll repeat this again for any sister reading this. Allah created us a certain way so that we can easily love and nurture our family.It takes ALOT to continue to serve and care for husbands and children after they don't listen the first trillion times you ask something. It takes alot of love and patience to always be the one to eat last and have to pick up after everyone because even though everyone knows what they should do, they don't do it in a timely manner.... I could go on.

It is not a weakness, it is a lovely gift and ability, but if you go around mixing with men, eventually you'll end up hurt.

SubhanAllah this is so true. Most men, when living with them as their wife, can be a little difficult to live with :D, and most of the time (it's true!) they don't express much gratitude or appreciate just what their wife is doing for them and their children. And yet so many women selflessly take on their duties without any complaint.

And a lot of times I've seen a woman with a man when she deserves someone much better, but I suppose I kind of understand why she is staying on. It's just an unfailing love and fierce loyalty to someone she has promised to stand by no matter what.

Women are by nature very nurturing, and they need to be otherwise how else could they overcome the huge obligation of raising and holding together a family? When I see mothers - they honestly have superpowers ma'sha'Allah. May Allah swt bless all of those sisters, ameen.

But when women do go down the wrong path and find themselves becoming attached to men like that, without a mahram or the necessary guidelines, they'll find themselves investing everything into a one-way relationship and building their future on that, and most guys will keep any emotional strings out of it and enjoy it 'for the moment'. And when they lose out, it's hard.

[noraina]

And you will get as answer: "you are just jealous about my happiness and try to destroy it!"

Hey I know this thing - I have an insider information about how women think and behave. ;D

Exactly, it's called denial. You can bang your head against the wall but they won't understand if they don't want to.

We sisters have revolutionary ideas and theories about the psychology of women - it's just no-one takes us seriously, lol.

[azc]

And you will get as answer: "you are just jealous about my happiness and try to destroy it!" Hey I know this thing - I have an insider information about how women think and behave. ;D

If it were you,.... Would be the same reaction as above mentioned by you....? It proves that women, generally, take the decision by heart, not by mind....????

[sister herb]

If it were you,.... Would be the same reaction as above mentioned by you....? It proves that women, generally, take the decision by heart, not by mind....????

Sure. I am not above of the "average woman" and I too might have had my "blind moments" at the past (and now I call them as "life experiences"). But remember that also women don´t take the decisions by heart all the time.

But what about men; do they have also their "blind moments"? Personally I think yes they too might have them.

[Simple_Person]

If it were you,.... Would be the same reaction as above mentioned by you....? It proves that women, generally, take the decision by heart, not by mind....????

No human being, be it a woman or a man is a PURE rational and logical being. If that was the case, we would NOT fall in the same trap we already have fallen. As logic dictates that you steer your way away from things that will not bring you any good.

[azc]

Sure. I am not above of the "average woman" and I too might have had my "blind moments" at the past (and now I call them as "life experiences"). But remember that also women don´t take the decisions by heart all the time. But what about men; do they have also their "blind moments"? Personally I think yes they too might have them.

man isn't exempted though but he can't share his girl with any other person in case evidences are put

[ardianto]

but often in the western world, women have multiple partners and not sticking with one partner for all their needs. As multiple partners can each give her what she wants.

Do not think that woman is smart. The smart are those men. They do not regard her as partner, but see her as "public property" that can be used by anyone. Dating with woman who date with other men can minimize risk if something happen to this woman, like she get pregnant. Those men can easily say "Don't ask my responsibility if you date with other men too!".

Those men indeed give her money or some stuff. But they want this woman pay it with 'service'. If they think the 'service' is not worth for the 'payment', or they get bored with this woman, they will leave her and behave like nothing happened between them and her before.

Women like this do exist in my country too. I've ever met few of them.

[ardianto]

To tell a woman that she is being cheated by a man...write an anonymous letter. Seriously, most women would take it, at least it will be in her thoughts, when she deals with him the next time.

Good idea. Anonymous letter sometime work in case like this.

[sister herb]

Good idea. Anonymous letter sometime work in case like this.

But only in some cases and I think they are quite rare. Normally woman is thinking that this is someone who is "jealous about hers happiness and wants to destroy it as spreading bad, anonymous rumors - sure some other girl who wish to get this perfect man to herself".

When person is blind to any sense, she really is blind.

[Simple_Person]

Do not think that woman is smart. The smart are those men. They do not regard her as partner, but see her as "public property" that can be used by anyone. Dating with woman who date with other men can minimize risk if something happen to this woman, like she get pregnant. Those men can easily say "Don't ask my responsibility if you date with other men too!".

Those men indeed give her money or some stuff. But they want this woman pay it with 'service'. If they think the 'service' is not worth for the 'payment', or they get bored with this woman, they will leave her and behave like nothing happened between them and her before.

Women like this do exist in my country too. I've ever met few of them.

I know these type of women exist everywhere, however, in majority of other countries, this is branded as abnormal. However in the west this has become a normal thing.

[ardianto]

I've ever told my late wife, that "When a man cheat his woman, other men around him are becoming blind and deaf". What I meant was those men behave like they don't see, don't hear.

Men are not hesitate to remind their friend who commit something wrong like using drug or commit fraud in business. However, for men, relationship between a man and a woman is privacy that should not be intervened by other men. That's why they do not remind their friend who cheats a woman. The worse is, some men regard cheating a woman is action of manliness. So, instead of remind him, they praise him.

No wonder if many men still cheat women, without feel guilty. :hmm:

[Studentofdeed]

This just disgusts me. Allaj make it easy on those poor souls