Mainstream schools vs home schooling

[T L]

Salaam

It has recently come to my attention that alot of sisters are home schooling their children, something that I wasn't aware of until now.
So this is really to all the parents out there, how have you decided to educate your children and why?

~TL

[Supernova]

Salaam

It has recently come to my attention that alot of sisters are home schooling their children, something that I wasn't aware of until now.
So this is really to all the parents out there, how have you decided to educate your children and why?

~TL

Asalaamualaykum

It will change from country to country. Are you referring to homeschooling opinions with regards to UK?

[Umm Malik]

Sometimes child get better in homeschooling because of the relationship between him and his mother because he will be free , think of learning as way to be more closer to his mom
And he will not get because of the leniency of learning at home ..
You can also chose the things you like to teach him and the thing you want to remove

[T L]

Asalaamualaykum

It will change from country to country. Are you referring to homeschooling opinions with regards to UK?

Wsalaam

I'm based in the UK, was just speaking to a sister who mentioned alot of sisters including herself homeschool their children. The thought had never really occurred to me. She also mentioned many have children with special educational needs aswell.
I have two autistic children, both under 7, one in mainstream school getting extra support whereas the other is at a special needs school.

I do wish to know more about the pros and cons, especially from an islamic point of view. I understand it's a huge commitment and one needs to be in a position where they are able to provide the time and environment. Not only that, but additional support around them as if for example if one is a lone parent like myself with health issues, this would be quite difficult if I don't have the support around me.

I suppose this isn't something that parents decide overnight, but needs to contemplated and researched to a great deal to a point where they can fully commit to it, for this will hugely impact their child's life.
Perhaps one could choose to home school their child for only a portion of their life. For example when they reach the age of puberty and are easily exposed to social influences.
It's an interesting topic and I am quite eager to hear your opinions/experiences.

JazakAllah Khair

~TL

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[noraina]

Assalamu alaykum,

Well, this is one of my favourite topics to discuss, probably because I was homeschooled for around nine years by my mother. :)

My mother decided to homeschool me and my sister once we left primary school, I would say it was for religious reasons and also for educational reasons. From an Islamic point of view, she didn't agree with certain things that were taught and she believed the environment at many schools was less than ideal. From an educational perspective, she would often say how rigid and inflexible the curriculum was, and it really didn't explore more diverse issues and opinions. So when I was around 10 and my sister 8 she began home-educating us. I'll always look fondly on those years of my life.


Of course, it isn't all a walk down the park. The lack of resources and virtually zero funding we had in our area was always a challenge, and preparing for GCSEs and A-level independently is a bit of a headache lol. As you have said, it requires a great amount of commitment from both the parent and the child to make it work well. Perhaps children who are homeschooled miss out on certain experiences children who attend school have, but I feel that in place of that I had a completely different range of experiences.

I would personally say that it is more important to home-educate during the secondary school years than primary school, so you could always take your children out of school once they reach Year 7 and work from there in'sha'Allah. And I live in a small town where not many people home-school, but in some larger cities they have homeschooling groups who meet up and help one another. If you looked around a little you might find such a group - I've heard they are a *huge* help.

Everyone's circumstances are different, each and every parents wants what is best for their children and there are many ways to achieve that, either through state or private education, or homeschooling or 'unschooling', whatever it may be. Recently, so many more people have been taking it up, and, for me, home-schooling was an extremely positive experience and I would definitely do it with my own children in'sha'Allah.

I've written a bit of an essay and for that I apologise :D if you have questions please ask in'sha'Allah.

[noraina]

Also, concerning home-schooling children with autism or special needs, these links may be of use to you in'sha'Allah:

http://www.tacanow.org/family-resour...er-the-basics/

http://www.alexlowery.co.uk/autism-and-home-education/

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/in-ed...education.aspx

[Ummshareef]

Asslamu alaikum,

We are going down the overseas Islamic private boarding school route with our sons. It can be quite expensive, but we wanted to do this as they approached baligh as we felt it was important for them to be educated in a single gender Islamic environment where there was a big emphasis on learning Qur'an and on developing good morals. We were very concerned about the poor standards of behaviour in UK schools and wanted somewhere that applied Islamic principles to the disciplinary system. They have found it tough at times, but alhamdulillah their knowledge of Qur'an and the Islamic sciences has come on in leaps and bounds and it really has been the making of them.

[T L]

JazakAllah Khair sisters for your responses. It is a really interesting topic and your insights are very much appreciated.
@noraina - beautiful share mashaAllah I am so pleased for yourself and your sister, and also your mother for commiting to that. And Alhamdulillah it has worked out really well for you all. You should all be very proud mashaAllah! As you mentioned, it definitely is a completely different range of experiences being educated in a home setting than in a school. Lack of resources and support can have a huge impact, but Alhamdulillah there seems to be alot of support in the city that I live in. JazakAllah khair for the links sis I will check them out as soon as I can inshaAllah :)
@Ummshareef - MashaAllah your sons must be receiving excellent education, and fortunate are those to have the option of going down that route ! Alhamdulillah! I completely understand what you mean by standards of behaviour in the UK, and that is really amazing you made the decision to keep them out of this. The educational system in the UK is greatly worrying for any muslim parent, and we should use what is within our means with Allah swt's help to keep our children away from corruption.

I think what makes it difficult for me are the special needs of my children. When they were babies I always envisioned giving my children the best of islamic education, as any muslim parent would. But Allahu Alam, I feel it's probably best to see what is within my capability and theirs by the time they end their primary education and take it from there inshaAllah.

JazakAllah khair again for your responses, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon you and your family, ameen. :)

~TL

[Supernova]

Wsalaam

I'm based in the UK, was just speaking to a sister who mentioned alot of sisters including herself homeschool their children. The thought had never really occurred to me. She also mentioned many have children with special educational needs aswell.
I have two autistic children, both under 7, one in mainstream school getting extra support whereas the other is at a special needs school.

I do wish to know more about the pros and cons, especially from an islamic point of view. I understand it's a huge commitment and one needs to be in a position where they are able to provide the time and environment. Not only that, but additional support around them as if for example if one is a lone parent like myself with health issues, this would be quite difficult if I don't have the support around me.

I suppose this isn't something that parents decide overnight, but needs to contemplated and researched to a great deal to a point where they can fully commit to it, for this will hugely impact their child's life.
Perhaps one could choose to home school their child for only a portion of their life. For example when they reach the age of puberty and are easily exposed to social influences.
It's an interesting topic and I am quite eager to hear your opinions/experiences.

JazakAllah Khair

~TL

Asalaamualaykum TL:
Please understand that the following advice below is taking into account that one child is not Neurotypical and the other borderline.

Firstly - You are in a unique situation with one child definitely autistic and another child (I am assuming border line). Is your other child diagnosed ?

You child with Autism will most certainly have a Personal Plan pertaining to their needs. That term might change from county to county withing the UK.

I would strongly advice against Homeschooling both of them for now. I will justify as to why.
If you cannot meet the personal plan that the school has designated for your children then effectively disadvantaging them.
Statistically you child with Autism might have Sensory needs. Do you have the resources at home to meet that need?
Do you have qualified status to teach and have the know-how to teach academic material to an Autistic child? (Please remember that a parent teaching Autistic kids at home and teaching hardcore Academia is not the same).
Would you be able to provided a balanced day of sensory and academia ?
Would you be able to provide a wider spectrum for your child as far as the social aspect is concerned ?

As far as your other child is concerned - Its in reality more difficult. When a child is diagnosed with Autism and as you know the spectrum is flamboyantly wide, it is in many ways more easy than un-diagnosed.

Unfortunately i cannot go in very deep as to why and how it is harder in cases whereby the child is in-between neurotypical and autistic.

Within the UK - there is a reason our teachers involved press on the fact of not homeschooling. Its simply based on experience that most parents (As loving as the intent might be) would fail in meeting ALL the needs as to create a balance.

I go on and on about the professional angle of academia - but I sense like most Muslim parents with Autistic kids - you concern also overlaps to years ahead. Even in that scenario, I would still highly recommend them being in a Special needs School for now and still keep your other child to gain from the support of state school.

Most Parents (who have children in Autistic schools) within the UK don't know they have a given advantage that they can influence the curriculum. In other words, should you not be pleased with certain subject matter - It is your right to dismiss that and the school will comply.

your children are very young and not only they need a structure system but you also need that system. In other words - with that age the very Personal Educational Plan for your child is still in development in itself. Can you imagine pulling them out thereby rendering all that to null and void, and then, attempting homeschooling on your own personal plan ???

If you do have the necessary qualifications, teaching status and equipment to meet the needs then by all means why not?

Can you tell me more about your children please? ADD, ADHD, ODD, PDA,Social cognition, Sensory needs, Literacy, Social Development ? Speech development... Etc. Please get as technical as possible and dont worry about using technical terms or acronyms - I'd know what they mean anyway.

Waslaam.

[Supernova]

Please ignore my grammatical errors in the other post - I did type in haste as there is so much to talk about the subject.

[noraina]

JazakAllah Khair sisters for your responses. It is a really interesting topic and your insights are very much appreciated.
@noraina - beautiful share mashaAllah I am so pleased for yourself and your sister, and also your mother for commiting to that. And Alhamdulillah it has worked out really well for you all. You should all be very proud mashaAllah! As you mentioned, it definitely is a completely different range of experiences being educated in a home setting than in a school. Lack of resources and support can have a huge impact, but Alhamdulillah there seems to be alot of support in the city that I live in. JazakAllah khair for the links sis I will check them out as soon as I can inshaAllah :)
@Ummshareef - MashaAllah your sons must be receiving excellent education, and fortunate are those to have the option of going down that route ! Alhamdulillah! I completely understand what you mean by standards of behaviour in the UK, and that is really amazing you made the decision to keep them out of this. The educational system in the UK is greatly worrying for any muslim parent, and we should use what is within our means with Allah swt's help to keep our children away from corruption.

I think what makes it difficult for me are the special needs of my children. When they were babies I always envisioned giving my children the best of islamic education, as any muslim parent would. But Allahu Alam, I feel it's probably best to see what is within my capability and theirs by the time they end their primary education and take it from there inshaAllah.

JazakAllah khair again for your responses, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon you and your family, ameen. :)

~TL

Ameen. And thank you for your kind words.

Of course, as I have said each family and their circumstances are so different. Do what you feel is best for your children and in'sha'Allah Allah swt always helps those with sincere intentions.

As far as homeschooling goes, definitely look at those links I provided and see if it would suit your children once they've finished primary school. It is really different compared to sending them to a regular school, definitely discuss it with other sisters who are homeschooling their children and you're welcome to ask anything else if you want.

May Allah swt always preserve and protect you are and your children, in both deen and dunya. Ameen.

[T L]

@samirbrazendale

Salaam Brother and jazakAllah khair for your thorough response.
I sincerely appreciate your view on this matter and completely understand.
My response is going to be quite quick but inshaAllah I will try and cover what I can.

Both my children have been diagnosed with autism.
My youngest who is 4 is in a special provision school due to his needs and he went through the long process of getting the assessments/diagnosis and finally the educational healthcare plan which he needed in order to get into a school that can meet his needs. It was a very long and hard process, and being a lone parent it was a very testing time for me Alhamdulillah. He started school last October and I am so very grateful to Allah swt that he is now in an environment where they can work with his needs and help him become independent. He has the most challenging behaviour. Has no speech and responds mostly to sensory activity.
His needs are quite complex compared to my daughter. I honestly don't know any technical terms for my children's needs but I am aware that the autistic spectrum is very wide. I have been learning about it since my son was 2 as he started showing unusual behaviour.

My daughter who is 6 was only diagnosed last year. She is at a mainstream school. I didn't have any suspicions of it at all that she was autistic. All I knew was that since she was very young she would find it difficult to interact and engage socially, and she was extremely delayed in her speech. Masha'Allah she has picked up alot since then but compared to her peers the gap is getting wider and wider. Since her diagnosis many things have made sense in terms of her behaviour and reaction to things. And she is now getting the support she needs at school as her progress is extremely slow but we now understand that her autism affects many aspects of her learning. From what I understand and have researched, girls display autism in a different way compared to boys and can be harder to detect so Alhamdulillah I am most grateful to Allah that she has had an early diagnosis. At the moment she isn't in need of an educational healthcare plan as the school and I both agree that she is getting the support she needs, but if at any point she stops making progress then this will be reviewed inshaAllah.

So overall, it isn't bad at all for me to be definitely considering home education. As their needs are being met and as you mentioned several things about having the right resources at home, I definitely do not and currently cannot provide my children with the education they need. However what has been irking me alot, and for a long time now, especially with my daughter is islamic education. You know, I can't send her to a madrasah yet or start paying a tutor to teach her personally because she is just not ready. She has barely grasped english and struggles so much with learning. I try my best at home to teach her things here and there, expose her to as much Islam as I can, but much is beyond her ability to comprehend and learn right now.
I believe you could say that I am another worried mother. And then upon hearing that many sisters are homeschooling their children even those with special needs I wonder how is this possible? Perhaps I am just in no position to do it myself.

Allahu Alam. The worst fear is their exposure to corruption as they grow older (and of course currently) and I am very uncertain as to how they will be affected. Will they be affected at all due to their autism? I really do not know. And I always make dua that Allah guides me so I am able to figure out a way to help them in this life in the best way possible.

JazakAllah khair for reading and looking forward to your response. I apologise if I have missed any details out but please do ask and InshaAllah I will reply when possible.


~TL

[T L]

Ameen. And thank you for your kind words.

Of course, as I have said each family and their circumstances are so different. Do what you feel is best for your children and in'sha'Allah Allah swt always helps those with sincere intentions.

As far as homeschooling goes, definitely look at those links I provided and see if it would suit your children once they've finished primary school. It is really different compared to sending them to a regular school, definitely discuss it with other sisters who are homeschooling their children and you're welcome to ask anything else if you want.

May Allah swt always preserve and protect you are and your children, in both deen and dunya. Ameen.

Ameen sis, jazakAllah khair I most sincerely appreciate it. <3

[azc]

Lap of mother is the first school of a child where he learns human values and best ettiqutes.

[Umm♥Layth]

I have a lot to say on the subject although my views are similar to sister noraina :) Just holding my place for now or I'll forget lol. Insha'Allah, I'll be back.

[Ummshareef]

JazakAllah Khair sisters for your responses. It is a really interesting topic and your insights are very much appreciated.

@Ummshareef - MashaAllah your sons must be receiving excellent education, and fortunate are those to have the option of going down that route ! Alhamdulillah! I completely understand what you mean by standards of behaviour in the UK, and that is really amazing you made the decision to keep them out of this. The educational system in the UK is greatly worrying for any muslim parent, and we should use what is within our means with Allah swt's help to keep our children away from corruption.

I think what makes it difficult for me are the special needs of my children. When they were babies I always envisioned giving my children the best of islamic education, as any muslim parent would. But Allahu Alam, I feel it's probably best to see what is within my capability and theirs by the time they end their primary education and take it from there inshaAllah.

JazakAllah khair again for your responses, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon you and your family, ameen. :)
~TL

Ameen. Your kind and thoughtful words are much appreciated.

Yes, alhamdulillah it is indeed a blessing to have been given the ability to make the choice. We just got fed up with the boys coming home from state school full of misguided ideas about what is normal and acceptable. They also used to think that we parents were somehow being awkward and unfair because we wouldn't let them do things like free mix or listen to music, but now they are in a 100% Islamic environment, surrounded by other young Muslims, they have come to appreciate that the restrictions we put on them were for their own good and are part of our Deen.

Ultimately our boys found the combination of state school, homework and weekday evening madrassah quite tiring, so we though it better to educate them in a school where the Islamic sciences were embedded in the curriculum and alhamdulillah have been able to to this. As parents, it is our greatest pleasure to see their children slowly coming to understand and accept how totally dependent we all are on Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'alaa and how success in this life and the next depend entirely on our obedience and submission to His will.

I'm afraid that I don't know much about educating special needs children, but your heart seems to be in the right place and in sha'allah I'm sure you will make all the right choices for their future. May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'alaa guide you and look after you and your very special children. Ameen.