My wife don't want to wear the hijab. Divorce?

[Muslim89]

Dear brothers and sisters,

My wife converted to the Islam 2 years ago and is originally from Peru. Lately I am facing some serious problems with my wife. My wife refuse to wear a hijab, is temperament and is sometimes really stubborn with me. I explained her that wearing hijab is really important in the Islam, she know this also. But she told me that for her is difficult and she will never wear a scarf or hijab. I told her that I want to see her in the paradise and we have to work together to achieve it. But, I cannot do this by myself. Also I told her that I am responsible for her and she need to obey me instead to be stubborn.

My wife she pray her 5 daily prayers and she also doing the Ramadan.

I cannot force my wife to wear the hijab, but I am also tired to repeat and to fight for this. I think my wife will not change her mind set. We still don’t have children, is it for me acceptable to stay in this relationship or do I need to divorce her? Or follow and do this for Allah?

Thank you for advising.

[Umm♥Layth]

She's still a new convert and she will need some time. It would be wise if you back off on the idea as she will find it controlling and it may very well turn her off from hijab all together. How are her Islamic studies coming along? Remember there is knowledge and then there is understanding. Knowing something doesn't compel a person to act. Understanding comes with time and practice of the knowledge.

Wearing the scarf is only part of hijab, does she adhere to other parts of hijab like loose clothing, staying away from men, carrying herself in a modest manner etc? I personally would wait on having children until you see that she has settled into Islam well and whole heartedly. Children change marriage in ways I cannot even describe and many marriages (in modern age) end upon the arrival of a new baby, sadly.

Another question would be, how are YOU doing as the imaam of your household? Do you understand why you pray 5 times per day, fast and why women should wear hijab? Are you leading by example? Are you kind and loving to her? There's alot more to your situation than what you may think. Not everyone follows rules simply because they are told to do things, ESPECIALLY not a hispanic woman ;) we are not the tamest of the female species. Conviction needs to come to her and she will blossom. You can either help her develop or help her turn away depending on your mannerism. You have alot to do with this.

You are blessed that she is praying her salaat. Masha'Allah. For many this is the most difficult part.

May Allah keep you and your wife on the straight path always. Ameen.

[noraina]

Wa alaykum assalam,

Brother, divorce is *utterly* a last resort and I personally don't believe that this reason alone is enough to justify divorcing her.

I am assuming when you married her she wasn't wearing the hijab, and the truth is you initially accepted her as she is but since then your faith has grown - which is good ma'sha'Allah. However you cannot expect her iman or understanding of Islam to increase at the same time as yours. Be patient and understanding with her. She might be confused as to why you suddenly wish for her to wear the hijab if you didn't make that clear before marriage.

More than that, she prays five times a day and observes Ramadan - so she does have a commitment to Islam which you can build on.

Hijab is certainly compulsory for Muslim women, so I'd recommend you continue to advise her *gently* on its importance in Islam, don't be pushy, maybe get her to visit the mosque or some Muslim sisters who can teach her about the rulings concerning the hijab. In'sha'Allah she'll be receptive to it once she has been given enough evidence and explanations. And make sure you lead by example as her husband.

If this is the only issue in your marriage, I wouldn't divorce on these grounds alone. May Allah swt guide us all to the correct understanding of our religion. Ameen.

[Serinity]

:salam:

Do not help shaytaan in turning her away from Islam, i.e. do not be idealistic. She knows it is an obligation, and she is sinning by not having Hijab on.

She is in a time of weakness right now. What she needs is the fear of Allah, and understanding of the deen. Alhamdulillah she prays 5 times a day.

Balance between hope and fear of Allah. Be gentle about it..

I honestly don't know how to make her wear Hijab, and I understand your frustrations.

Allahu alam.

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[Muslim89]

Thank you for answering. Below answer to your questions:

Wearing the scarf is only part of hijab, does she adhere to other parts of hijab like loose clothing, staying away from men, carrying herself in a modest manner etc

She is improving to dress loose clothing. She dress jeans but most of the time she cover her behind, the same with covering her chest. Before it was the opposite. But she stays away from men and carry in a modest manner. She don’t drink alcohol and is not interested in parties. She have a good heart.

Another question would be, how are YOU doing as the imaam of your household? Do you understand why you pray 5 times per day, fast and why women should wear hijab? Are you leading by example? Are you kind and loving to her? There's alot more to your situation than what you may think. Not everyone follows rules simply because they are told to do things, ESPECIALLY not a hispanic woman

we are not the tamest of the female species. Conviction needs to come to her and she will blossom. You can either help her develop or help her turn away depending on your mannerism. You have alot to do with this.


Hamdolilah I am practicing the Islam as good as I can. Yes I understand why we pray and I pray daily, yes I understand why women have to dress hijab, I am aware that I have to give a good example otherwise its sinless. I know my wife like you said if I dedicate her good time and be kind and sweet she will be like a blossom. I am aware of that but I cannot be always like that and that’s the problem. When I have a bad mood it affect her also and the she can be really sensitive.

I am assuming when you married her she wasn't wearing the hijab, and the truth is you initially accepted her as she is but since then your faith has grown - which is good ma'sha'Allah. However you cannot expect her iman or understanding of Islam to increase at the same time as yours. Be patient and understanding with her. She might be confused as to why you suddenly wish for her to wear the hijab if you didn't make that clear before marriage.

Before we were going to marry we discussed many times about wearing a hijab. I knew it would be a problem but I accepted it. The reason why I accept it is because she converted to the Islam. I said to my self is early to talk about it. But I didn’t want to stay in a haram relationship and that’s why we married.
The next thing is that all due our fights and discussion I got really sensitive with her. There were some serious action from her like being stubborn that I couldn’t accept it from here. Now I am in a stadium that I lost my feelings from here. And I don’t know if to continue with her or not. I feel like I have to break myself emotionally before she improve a bit. I can’t follow like this. I want a peaceful relationship that both can work to pleasure Allah. Not that I have to spend and lose many time to convince someone about believe or other things. I have no energy for this anymore. Too much being stubborn is not a good behaviour.

[Search]

:bism: Bismillah Ir-Rehman Ir-Raheem
(In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

:sl: (Peace be upon you)

Before we were going to marry we discussed many times about wearing a hijab. I knew it would be a problem but I accepted it. The reason why I accept it is because she converted to the Islam. I said to my self is early to talk about it. But I didn’t want to stay in a haram relationship and that’s why we married. The next thing is that all due our fights and discussion I got really sensitive with her. There were some serious action from her like being stubborn that I couldn’t accept it from here. Now I am in a stadium that I lost my feelings from here. And I don’t know if to continue with her or not. I feel like I have to break myself emotionally before she improve a bit. I can’t follow like this. I want a peaceful relationship that both can work to pleasure Allah. Not that I have to spend and lose many time to convince someone about believe or other things. I have no energy for this anymore. Too much being stubborn is not a good behaviour.

I apologize, brother, but from what I've read of what you've written here, you don't want to continue the marriage because your ego is hurt that she is not listening and you are perceiving her refusal to wear a hijab as a sign of personal disrespect to you and your role as a husband. However, you refuse to see that you are being perhaps more stubborn on this issue and refusing to see her side at all. It is not easy to wear a hijab, especially if you live anywhere in Western countries. For example, I remember being forwarded an email from another specific to an imam about a few months ago saying that women who are fearful of being harassed or otherwise bothered can elect to not wear the hijab. However, here you are, a man, not likely identifiable as a Muslim to non-Muslim populace, telling your convert wife to wear a hijab when not only all her life she has not worn any type of headscarf but she might have genuine reasons to fear the reactions of others if she should wear the hijab in today's anti-Muslim climate and willingly makes herself an ostensible symbol of Islam. Please know each terror attack that takes place around the globe highlighted in the news becomes a means for some racist or Islamophobic person to harass Muslim women because the women are perceived as easier targets. Recently, in the U.S., a man was ranting an anti-Muslim rant to two women he perceived to be Muslim, and then he subsequently stabbed three men who tried to defend the women, resulting in two deaths. Why is it so hard for you to understand that your wife deserves a husband who understands her and supports her and eases her way into wearing the hijab by inspiring her?

Marriage is hard work, and I am assume you are mature enough to gauge this fact.

If you make the decision to take the path of divorce, then know that it doesn't mean your next wife (as I assume you will not wish to be single for your entire life) will be any more willing to wear a hijab nor will that mean you'll get a wife who automatically submits to your decisions. You cannot win a woman's heart or mind through force or compulsion; you can win her heart and mind by being the best husband you can be so that she's inspired of her own volition to be the kind of wife you think you right now deserve. You came to IB to ask for advice, and you've been given wise advice. Now whether you follow any of the aforesaid given advice depends on you - take some time to reflect.

:wa: (And peace be upon you)

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Dear brothers and sisters,

My wife converted to the Islam 2 years ago and is originally from Peru. Lately I am facing some serious problems with my wife. My wife refuse to wear a hijab, is temperament and is sometimes really stubborn with me. I explained her that wearing hijab is really important in the Islam, she know this also. But she told me that for her is difficult and she will never wear a scarf or hijab. I told her that I want to see her in the paradise and we have to work together to achieve it. But, I cannot do this by myself. Also I told her that I am responsible for her and she need to obey me instead to be stubborn.

My wife she pray her 5 daily prayers and she also doing the Ramadan.

I cannot force my wife to wear the hijab, but I am also tired to repeat and to fight for this. I think my wife will not change her mind set. We still don’t have children, is it for me acceptable to stay in this relationship or do I need to divorce her? Or follow and do this for Allah?

Thank you for advising.

You should give her some books about hijaab in her language and continue to give her dawah in a kind manner. Do not be stubborn or angry with her. It's only been 2 years that she's been a Muslimah, so she is still learning. THere are many of us women who are born muslim and it takes us a very long time to wear the hijaab even though we are familiar with it from a young age. She has to obey you as her husband, but since she doesn't see the severity in not wearing the hijaab and also not obeying you, it may just be she needs to reach that level of her iman.

You shouldn't have children with her until you are sure she is the person you want to remain with for the rest of your life. If you have done everything to help her and she is still not fulfilling that obligation, then you have the right to divorce her and marry someone who you believe is more suitable for you. I also think you should consult with a sheikh and see what he thinks.

If you divorced her, do you think she will remain a muslim?

[Muslim89]

Hamdolilah, thank you for the advice i am getting more relaxed. The only thing that really bother me is that i dont want to enter the hell fire because of her, let me make that clear. I believe if i divorce her she will remain muslim. She understand that hijab is really important in the islam, but its still difficult for her, cultural thing. I guess i will seek and invite a imam to talk to her.

Another thing what bother me is the feeling that i had for her is gone. This is all because of the fights that we have had. What can i do about this.

[Serinity]

:salam:

We all know Hijab is an obligation. Try to recite Qur'an, make it a daily habit, especially in the month of Ramadhan, try to recite, it will purify the soul, make her listen to the Quran.

Listening,
purifying,
Laws of Islam,
the Wisdom,

By listening to the Qur'aan, one purifies themselves. By doing that one draws themselves closer to Allah, who is All-Pure. By getting closer to Allah and being purified by the recitation of the Qur'an, one can start to introduce the Laws of Islam, and explaining the wisdom behind it.

Remember these attributes of Allah:

The King,
The Pure,
The Authority,
The Wise,

Try to make her, and you, engrain the understanding in your hearts. By listening to Quran one purifies themselves from sins and the fitrah gets purified, One should know that Allah has authority and that whatever is legislated in Islam, is with wisdom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J6dxR6wkjg (1 hour) try to watch it, it is about self-transformation.

AFAIK, if the first thing Allah :swt: revealed, ever, was "do not drink alcohol" the Sahabahs r.a. wouldn't be able to stop. Same here, if you say "wear Hijab", she knows it is an obligation, but she might lack the understanding of wisdom behind it.

One needs to ingrain the Taqwa.
There are gradual steps. I RECOMMEND you to watch the video.

Allahu alam.

[Muslim89]

Thank you for the video. I will check this first and then share it with my wife. Is there any strong video or powerfull message about hijab that I can share it with my wife.

[Bobbyflay23]

Dear brothers and sisters,

My wife converted to the Islam 2 years ago and is originally from Peru. Lately I am facing some serious problems with my wife. My wife refuse to wear a hijab, is temperament and is sometimes really stubborn with me. I explained her that wearing hijab is really important in the Islam, she know this also. But she told me that for her is difficult and she will never wear a scarf or hijab. I told her that I want to see her in the paradise and we have to work together to achieve it. But, I cannot do this by myself. Also I told her that I am responsible for her and she need to obey me instead to be stubborn.

My wife she pray her 5 daily prayers and she also doing the Ramadan.

I cannot force my wife to wear the hijab, but I am also tired to repeat and to fight for this. I think my wife will not change her mind set. We still don’t have children, is it for me acceptable to stay in this relationship or do I need to divorce her? Or follow and do this for Allah?

Thank you for advising.

Don't annoy her with hijab and stuff your just annoying her I remember when I was a kid I started praying bymyself but then everybody kept saying go pray and annoyed me and told me to go pray every 5 minutes I stopped praying because of it because no one wants to follow orders from someone if I'm going to do a obligation I'm going to do it bymyself not from somebody (of course I came back to praying) but my point is she's not going to listen to you just you yourself be religious don't push religion on her but you yourself try following new sunnahs and stuff and she'll ask you why are you doing that and you can say it's a sunnah and just keep doing Islamic things and try to be the best Muslim don't order her around and be really positive and sacrifice for her and like be patient just never do anything that would make her angry or annoyed with you and I garentee she would be thinking in her head what's all this Muslim business I want to be like him and she'll start following allong with you humans naturally act like the people they love and hang out with so if you become her best friend and hangout with her all the time and just have fun with her and act like a super good Muslim around her eventually she'd try to fit in because think of it when you hangout with your friends don't you try to fit in don't you change the way you talk and dress well it's the same thing with your wife just be friends with her

[sister herb]

Does your wife has female Muslim friends? Talking with other sisters might helps her to think again about using hijab and sisters can give to her good advices also about other matters in life like how to restrain temperament. If there is mosque near, there might be some sister´s groups.

[Muslim89]

No that's the problem she doesn't have any Muslim friend. I told her many times to seek for Muslim sisters to help you make understand.

[Bobbyflay23]

Also definitely don't divorce her allah hates divorce and your just following what Sheyton wants because he likes divorce rasoolallah saw said to marry the most pious women you didn't but that's ok because she's still your wife she's a Muslim she's not worthless as long as she's a Muslim you really have no excuse to divorce her unless she does some awful things like cheating on you if she leaves Islam that's a pretty good reason to not be married to her but then again there where prophets married to non Muslims like Noah (as) and then you want to divorce her just because of her hijab?

[Muslim89]

I understand that but like I said before I don't want enter the he'll fire because my wife didn't wear hijab. That's the reason that I don't want to follow

[sister herb]

I understand that but like I said before I don't want enter the he'll fire because my wife didn't wear hijab. That's the reason that I don't want to follow

Why do you think that you could enter to the hell fire because of disobedience of your wife? I have thought that we all are in responsible of our own sins only, not others.

[Muslim89]

Because I am responsible for her. If she doesn't want to dress hijab then she cannot leave the house. This have also consequences for me.

[Bobbyflay23]

Because I am responsible for her. If she doesn't want to dress hijab then she cannot leave the house. This have also consequences for me.

You arnt responsible for her sins you should promote good (I.e by acting yourself like the best Muslim you can be and showing the best character and hanging out with her on all of your free time because this will make her start copying your good actions that's how human psychology works) and speaking against evil this is simple you've allready done this you've allready told her not whering the hijab is bad you don't need to say it like 100x times so you have fullfilled your responsibility with demoting bad and with promoting good you need to implement those things I put in show her that being a really good Muslim is fun and that being a good Muslim makes you more happy and that it makes you a better person this all shows by your character that you a Muslim should work on if you hang out with your wife at all times when you can and have a amazing character she will natrually start acting like you just be the best possible Muslim husband and show her your good deeds not to please her but to make her want to do good deeds too

[talibilm]

:sl: bro

On the basis of hadith not to fight a muslim ruler untill he offers salah my view though not wearing Hijab is a great Sin of doing against the noble Quran still you should not divorce her as Divorce is ONLY the last thing to do when you see here slip into shirk or kufar.

Alhamdulilah she s doing Salah and we see even during Prophet's time some youngster was engaged in almost all haram matters and people brought this matter to Nabi :saws: who verified whether this person is sincere with his salah ? on an affirmative answer from them prophet :saws: told them to leave him since his salah will stop him and it so happened later this person became a good worshipping person in al Madina.

But you become more nice to her except when she does not wear Hijab , just show your opposition by not talking to her like you will talk always or SOMETHING like that. do not resort to force .

Allah knows the best

[Bobbyflay23]

:sl: bro

On the basis of hadith not to fight a muslim ruler untill he offers salah my view though not wearing Hijab is a great Sin of doing against the noble Quran still you should not divorce her as Divorce is ONLY the last thing to do when you see here slip into shirk or kufar.

Alhamdulilah she s doing Salah and we see even during Prophet's time some youngster was engaged in almost all haram matters and people brought this matter to Nabi :saws: who verified whether this person is sincere with his salah ? on an affirmative answer from them prophet :saws: told them to leave him since his salah will stop him and it so happened later this person became a good worshipping person in al Madina.

But you become more nice to her except when she does not wear Hijab , just show your opposition by not talking to her like you will talk always or SOMETHING like that. do not resort to force .

Allah knows the best

Even if she slips into those things they are valid reasons for divorce but that's like only if he wants a divorce if he still loves her and she slips into kuffar or shirk he could just stay married to her because as I said even Noah (as) was married to a kuffar but like if he doesn't like his wife and she's doing major things like riba or stealing than he should divorce her so like I mean don't base is by her sins and don't base it by your feelings for her combine it if she's a awful Muslim with a horrible character that hasn't been willing to change and you can't bear her then sure divorce is fine but if it's purley because she sins or it's purley because you don't like her personality you shouldn't divorce her because both of those are things that can change

[tia]

Yes. Please do. Trust me, from the point view of a woman, it'll do both of you good if you divorce her. Don't torture her and yourself like this. You're too dumb, too shallow and she's innocent. You don't belong together. You need to find a partner who is as obsessed about islamic fashion as you are. Please let her go. Astaghfirullah. She deserves better. May Allah grant her sabr.

[Bobbyflay23]

Yes. Please do. Trust me, from the point view of a woman, it'll do both of you good if you divorce her. Don't torture her and yourself like this. You're too dumb, too shallow and she's innocent. You don't belong together. You need to find a partner who is as obsessed about islamic fashion as you are. Please let her go. Astaghfirullah. She deserves better. May Allah grant her sabr.

That's bad advice she's a Muslim and she's praying her 5 daily prayers and fasting she's still a Muslim as long as she doesn't cheat on him it's ok you want them to end the relationship when it's possible that any time from now she'll start wearing the hijab by herself he just needs to be patient with her and not push it on her and show a good example of a practicing Muslim maybe she doesn't have allot of faith too he could show her some of the scientfic evidences of why Islam is the truth and all that stuff

[tia]

But he's bad for her. What sort of guy wants to divorce his wife for not wearing a headscarf? That is insane! Does he even love her in the first place. Astaghfirullah

[Bobbyflay23]

But he's bad for her. What sort of guy wants to divorce his wife for not wearing a headscarf? That is insane! Does he even love her in the first place. Astaghfirullah

Oh I see what you mean I was thinking that he shouldn't be thinking like that but to actually do it is another thing he never said to her face I'm going to divorce you or anything I just think both he and her need to work on their relationship and also when I said he needs to hangout with her all the time and that he needs to act like a good Muslim that itself will restore the love of both of them are separate from each over and him hanging out with his friends and her hanging out with her friends all the time instead of hanging out with each over do u think they're going to love each over it's somthing that can be restored they just need to try to restore it no need to abandon the marriage

[Umm♥Layth]

Another thing what bother me is the feeling that i had for her is gone. This is all because of the fights that we have had. What can i do about this.

This is why in Islam, we don't marry for love. Love fluctuates and it is not a safe or stable foundation for a marriage. Most couple go through periods where they are just annoyed by each other's presence and in love relationships, that's when people break up, not realizing it is only part of the journey :)

You will have to sit down and remember/write down all the reasons you chose to be with her in the first place without the emotional strings. What was it about her personality that you found attractive?

I suggest you two enroll in Islamic classes together both for knowledge and for the experience. It will help you build a new foundation based on Islam and THAT will make your marriage strong.

Whatever it is you want from her, you will have to give her first. Marriage is about what the other person needs and fulfilling their rights, not about you or your rights. If you can learn to see it this way, your marriage will be more harmonious. This is a reminder for myself also, as we tend to forget this easily. :statisfie

[Search]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

:sl: (Peace be upon you)

Thank you for the video. I will check this first and then share it with my wife. Is there any strong video or powerfull message about hijab that I can share it with my wife.

Yes, I had watched a very inspiring lecture on hijab, and I'm now linking that lecture for you to give your wife to watch at her leisure without any external pressure from you InshaAllah: To Veil or Not to Veil.

And I sincerely apologize for my stringent tone earlier in your thread. I do wish you and the sister the best, and I do wish that both of you succeed in this path to Paradise, but the path to Paradise is paved sometimes with thorns. And if we yearn for Paradise, we must learn to love the thorns as well and consider them not as obstacles but as a means to enable our own character development so that we can be the conquerors of our own selves for then surely it is easier to conquer hearts when a person has conquered himself/herself first. Conquer your own flaws and gently remind her of Allah (without mentioning hijab) so that your wife will be drawn towards changing her outlook and herself feel compelled by her own heart to give the best of her own self as a slave to Allah.

And as far as feeling the current lack of love towards her is a matter of a concern, make the foundation of your home the love of Allah.

Love her for now for the sake of Allah, and the moment you learn to do so and sincerely practice this business of loving for the sake of Allah, you will InshaAllah find in your heart the love that you've always had for her though earlier shadowed by marital disharmony and personal resentment.

Again, I humbly apologize for my earlier post. However, I do wish you and your wife the best.

Sincere Regards,

:wa: (And peace be upon you)

[Bobbyflay23]

Thank you for the video. I will check this first and then share it with my wife. Is there any strong video or powerfull message about hijab that I can share it with my wife.

You don't want her to wear a hijab for your sake you want her to wear it for allahs sake chill out on her and just try to focus on getting her to do more acts of worship for allah and good deeds

[*charisma*]

Yes. Please do. Trust me, from the point view of a woman, it'll do both of you good if you divorce her. Don't torture her and yourself like this. You're too dumb, too shallow and she's innocent. You don't belong together. You need to find a partner who is as obsessed about islamic fashion as you are. Please let her go. Astaghfirullah. She deserves better. May Allah grant her sabr.

There's no reason to be insulting towards anyone. If you can't speak kindly, don't speak at all. Suggesting divorce when you only know half of the story is ridiculous. Please keep such opinions to yourself.

But he's bad for her. What sort of guy wants to divorce his wife for not wearing a headscarf? That is insane! Does he even love her in the first place. Astaghfirullah

The brother is speaking out of frustration because he loves his wife and has been patient with her. He wants to see his family in the best of affairs obeying ALlah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and he is seeking advice because he doesn't know what else to do. He may also have some jealousy and protectiveness over her which is an admirable trait. I can pardon him in this respect, and you should as well.

[*charisma*]

Hamdolilah, thank you for the advice i am getting more relaxed. The only thing that really bother me is that i dont want to enter the hell fire because of her, let me make that clear. I believe if i divorce her she will remain muslim. She understand that hijab is really important in the islam, but its still difficult for her, cultural thing. I guess i will seek and invite a imam to talk to her.

Another thing what bother me is the feeling that i had for her is gone. This is all because of the fights that we have had. What can i do about this.

Brother, you won't enter hellfire because of her. She is responsible for her own actions and you are not allowed to force her to do anything that she does not want to do. SHe isn't a child. Allah guides and may allah guide her on the straight path. Make sincere du'a to Allah because it's in His hands. Don't add so much stress on to yourself and wife. I understand that it's frustrating because you want your wife to be the best and you want her to look like a muslimah, but at the same time, you have to focus on making it easy for her to do that without pressuring her. The more fights you have the more negativity you're going to be bringing into the relationship. Take it a step at a time. If you see her wearing something too revealing, tell her to cover up more. Eventually it will be easy for her to wear the hijaab. Maybe you should visit an islamic country and go to different masjids so she can feel a part of the ummah. There is a lot you can do without arguing or fighting. Mashallah it's amazing that she has become a muslimah and prays 5 times a day. Many brothers who marry nonMuslims are praying that their wives become muslims. So you should feel very blessed that she is moving in the right direction.

As for having feelings for her again, I don't know what your home life is like, but I'm sure if you began doing some nice things for her, she will be so happy and you will be happy making her happy. Patience is part of iman, so you really need to be more patient and kind.

[*charisma*]

Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim

عَنْ جَابِرٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ إِبْلِيسَ يَضَعُ عَرْشَهُ عَلَى الْمَاءِ ثُمَّ يَبْعَثُ سَرَايَاهُ فَأَدْنَاهُمْ مِنْهُ مَنْزِلَةً أَعْظَمُهُمْ فِتْنَةً يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ فَعَلْتُ كَذَا وَكَذَا فَيَقُولُ مَا صَنَعْتَ شَيْئًا قَالَ ثُمَّ يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ مَا تَرَكْتُهُ حَتَّى فَرَّقْتُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ امْرَأَتِهِ قَالَ فَيُدْنِيهِ مِنْهُ وَيَقُولُ نِعْمَ أَنْتَ

2813 صحيح مسلم كتاب صفة القيامة والجنة والنار باب تحريش الشيطان وبعثه سراياه لفتنة الناس وأن مع كل إنسان قرينا

[Sakina'141]

:sl:

She should wear the Scarf over her hair for the Sake of Pleasing Allah alone at her own will.

She shouldn't and probably wouldn't do it just because you keep asking her to do so...it feels Forced and insincere to Allah if she just wears it because of you. She is most probably waiting to wear with her own will sometime in the future without being forced by you then it would feel sincere (for Allah) to her and she will be very happy and content in wearing it out of her own free wil. Its an act of worship that won't be accepted without sincereity just like prayer and fasting - she can't fast and pray for you nor can she wear the scarf just to please you.

Say Alhamdulillah that she is weaing Loose clothes that covers her back and chest and that she does not interact with opposite gender unnecessarily as you stated. That is big part of modeasty in itself, she is practising a lot of hijab with rest of her clothing and modest behaviour. You should be very pleased, not complaining. Say Alhamdulillah that she prays 5 times a day - that is a Huge achievement in this day and age. MashaAllah, she should be Congratulated.

I don't know your wife personally but from what you said, I can see many good qualities in her and I don't know why you want to divorce her just because she doesn't cover her head or you had few arguments, you say she is stubborn but you need acknowledge you have also been stubborn yourself, no marriage is ever fairytale happily ever after...there will be arguments/disagreements and clashes, its about constantly forgiving, over-looking and letting go of the past just like you do with your family. Talk to your wife about the way you are feeling, don't even consider divorce without even talking to try resolve things and address the communication issues, you should seeking marriage counselling with third party (Imam) and marraige reconcilation if necessary. If all of these things does not work thing out, may be seperation for short period may help to think things through. Divorce should be the last resort. There are many other options to try before you consider that.

Also I have to tell you this...please remember this:

* Please don't assume that every hijabi muslima that you see walking around the street/posing on intagram actually prays 5X times a day & fasts like your wife does or that they are "pure" just because of wearing hijab/niqab. Please don't assume that they are not in some secret haram relationships & interactions with the opposite sex or that pray 5X day/fasts etc. Beecause I am telling you that your non-hijab wearing Peruvian wife is more pure than the hypocritical muslims commiting zina wearing hijabs/abayas/niqab/beards and some don't even pray daily/fast etc. Nevertheless, Please do think well of all fellow muslims whether they look religious or doesn't appear very religious...think well of everyone but don't be suprised if you see/find out/end up marrying seemingly religious muslims doing some dodgy things behind parents/others backs.

Sorry I don't mean to be negative about certain muslims wearing religious attires but are not as religious as they protray themselves to be. I have had several very bad cases of my own friends who I thought was very "religious" only to find out they've been in secret haram relationships behind everyone's back pretending to be Pure outwardly. I am just telling you this becuase YOU really don't realise how good your wife actually is even without hijab, at least she is modest in rest of dressing and acts modesty outside with opposite gender and you can TRUST her. She is actually a good muslim in my humble opinion. At least she's not a hyporcite like some muslims.

[Sakina'141]

^ Ok Sorry about the essay...but I have major issues with fake superficial people. People shouldn't focus so much on external appearances and how they appear to mortal beings...only leads to fakeness. People should only care about what Allah thinks of them...He only looks at our hearts and intentions with everything we do. Can't fool Allah like we fool people.

[Shireen93]

My husband has given me freedom whether to wear hijab, niqab or not. Most of time I dont wear, only when relatives or my in laws visit I wear.

[talibilm]

Even if she slips into those things they are valid reasons for divorce but that's like only if he wants a divorce if he still loves her and she slips into kuffar or shirk he could just stay married to her because as I said even Noah (as) was married to a kuffar but like if he doesn't like his wife and she's doing major things like riba or stealing than he should divorce her so like I mean don't base is by her sins and don't base it by your feelings for her combine it if she's a awful Muslim with a horrible character that hasn't been willing to change and you can't bear her then sure divorce is fine but if it's purley because she sins or it's purley because you don't like her personality you shouldn't divorce her because both of those are things that can change

:sl:

Do You mean Luth :AS:'s wife ? who was left behind in the azaab of Allah. If there is Noah's wife a kafir , No. His son was . kindly give me a ref

Ibrahim AS just left a sign to his Son to divorce his wife he divorced and Umar :RA: 's son loved ......(below hadith) .


Dawud :: Book 41 : Hadith 5119
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: A woman was my wife and I loved her, but Umar hated her. He said to me: Divorce her, but I refused. Umar then went to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that to him. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Divorce her.

are some few proofs i had come across. But we know more than theft Shirk , kuffar are more bigger sins and we are not supposed to marry kafirs, mushriks.


But though divorce is a last resort its a halal option Allah has given to both Muslim & muslima but its a halal thing which Allah hates too . If a marriage will end up killings or make you leave and make you far from Islam its better to divorce.


BRO, SIS @mods @AabiruSabeel

Has the background colour has been changed to black ? even :saws: does not appear clear. The earlier one was better

[fromelsewhere]

Dear brothers and sisters,

My wife converted to the Islam 2 years ago and is originally from Peru. Lately I am facing some serious problems with my wife. My wife refuse to wear a hijab, is temperament and is sometimes really stubborn with me. I explained her that wearing hijab is really important in the Islam, she know this also. But she told me that for her is difficult and she will never wear a scarf or hijab. I told her that I want to see her in the paradise and we have to work together to achieve it. But, I cannot do this by myself. Also I told her that I am responsible for her and she need to obey me instead to be stubborn.

My wife she pray her 5 daily prayers and she also doing the Ramadan.

I cannot force my wife to wear the hijab, but I am also tired to repeat and to fight for this. I think my wife will not change her mind set. We still don’t have children, is it for me acceptable to stay in this relationship or do I need to divorce her? Or follow and do this for Allah?

Thank you for advising.

You are right, you cannot force your wife to wear the hijab. If you wanted a wife who wears hijab, you should have married one who wore it. You can't just marry a woman and expect that all of a sudden, she'll change her habits just to please you.

Another thing what bother me is the feeling that i had for her is gone. This is all because of the fights that we have had. What can i do about this.

You need to stop fighting with her. If you guys can't get along and are always fighting, there is a point at which you might have to call it quits.

[Bobbyflay23]

:sl:

Do You mean Luth :AS:'s wife ? who was left behind in the azaab of Allah. If there is Noah's wife a kafir , No. His son was . kindly give me a ref

Ibrahim AS just left a sign to his Son to divorce his wife he divorced and Umar :RA: 's son loved ......(below hadith) .


Dawud :: Book 41 : Hadith 5119
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: A woman was my wife and I loved her, but Umar hated her. He said to me: Divorce her, but I refused. Umar then went to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that to him. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Divorce her.

are some few proofs i had come across. But we know more than theft Shirk , kuffar are more bigger sins and we are not supposed to marry kafirs, mushriks.


But though divorce is a last resort its a halal option Allah has given to both Muslim & muslima but its a halal thing which Allah hates too . If a marriage will end up killings or make you leave and make you far from Islam its better to divorce.


BRO, SIS @mods @AabiruSabeel

Has the background colour has been changed to black ? even :saws: does not appear clear. The earlier one was better

I've read fatwas on this we should marry a Muslim over a kafir if we have the option but we are allowed but men are allowed to marry kafirs I would just consider it mukrooh and also a sheikh I was listening to on a podcast and also I just looked it up and according to this website https://www.thoughtco.com/prophet-nu...-islam-2004537 his wife was also a disbeliever and also most prophets had wives many of them will come to allah with no followers so that means there wife if they had one was a desbliever

[Abz2000]

[tia]

okay. i apologize to everyone.

[Bobbyflay23]

okay. i apologize to everyone.

No need to apologize it's true about that he should never try to divorce her over the head scarf but you suggesting him to divorce her over it is not good advice but alhudillah you realized this divorce isn't somthing to be played with the only person you should apologize to is the person asking the question because you used words like dumb just edit the comment you made and edit out the offensive things you could private message him the apology if you want to make sure he reads it

[sister herb]

This is why in Islam, we don't marry for love.

I could say that some Muslims do so. Or do you think that it´s not allowed in Islam to marry with person you love (have feeling of love before marriage, no physical contacts of course)?

[talibilm]

I've read fatwas on this we should marry a Muslim over a kafir if we have the option but we are allowed but men are allowed to marry kafirs I would just consider it mukrooh and also a sheikh I was listening to on a podcast and also I just looked it up and according to this website https://www.thoughtco.com/prophet-nu...-islam-2004537 his wife was also a disbeliever and also most prophets had wives many of them will come to allah with no followers so that means there wife if they had one was a desbliever

Thanks for your ref but its not a fatwa but a history whose citation or proof is not given from hadith or Noble Quran , but Its a misunderstanding imo . it says they were disbelievers and were destroyed. Its not a proof they lived together after Noah AS had received prophethood as many Prophet may have received Prophethood after they had married already . As per the Noble Quran (the last law which Muslims ought to follow unless you do not find any ref even from sahabas, Tabieens to our issue we can refer the earlier prophets histories ) once you know your spouse is a kafir the marriage itself becomes void imo. Prophet :saws: took divorce of one of his daughter whose husband did not revert to Islam.

The Noble Quran is clear cut not to Marry a Kafir ie an idolator . If you are talking about Kafir in the sense of People of the Book like Jews , Christians ( & may be followers of Zoraster or Magians Whom Umar RA classified them as People of the Book ) there are allowances as in this fatwa https://islamqa.info/en/21380

But IMO its best to marry a Pious Muslim or a Revert who enters Islam will fully FOR ISLAM & FOR HER ALLAH , since they are one who will make your happy family with understanding the value of her husband and the necessity to follow Islam.

[Muslim89]

Thank you all for the understanding and nice support. May Allah s.w.t forgive all your sins in this beautiful month of the Ramadan. I will check the videos in sha Allah. Please make some dua for my marriage.

[piXie]

:sl:

There seems to be a lot of emotional and judgemental comments on this thread, plus assumptions based upon individual experiences.

The Husband has a genuine concern and is worried about his responsibilities as the head of the home. This is a matter relating directly to the deen and therefore, he needs to see his situation and how he can handle it. If the husband wishes to keep trying and remain patient with his wife, then this is his choice. If he feels that he has tried enough & cannot be patient any longer and prefers to divorce her and find someone who is on a similar level to him, then this is also his choice. He knows his situation and what he can/can't handle. Both husband and wife need to understand the importance of obedience to Allaah. Our relationships are protected and blessed when we obey the commandments of Allaah; whereas when we don't, then we bring upon ourselves difficulties, and calamities and a decrease in our blessings . May Allah guide and help them both. Aameen.

To the OP, regarding your responsibility towards protecting yourself & your spouse from the hell-fire, the following may help ;

Praise be to Allaah.

Strong faith must have effects which can be seen in a person's appearance and conduct. If a person persists in sin, this is a sign of weak faith.

What you have to do is try to plant the seeds of faith in her heart and help it to grow strong. What is meant by that is the kind of faith that will motivate a person to behave in accordance with the sharee’ah. Then try to instill in her a love of the hijaab and of righteous deeds, such as explaining the benefits of hijaab and how good it is, and giving her books and audio tapes, if these are available, which speak about that. One of the most important means which will help to achieve this is to put her in touch – in an indirect manner – with righteous women who wear the hijaab and try to have frequent family gatherings with righteous relatives.

If you do this, you will have tried various means of convincing her. Then you will have to oblige her in an appropriate fashion and not allow her to go out to public places without hijaab. (It is important to explain to your daughter that hijaab is obligatory and tell her about Allaah’s ruling on hijaab, even if she realizes that her mother is falling short. You have to explain it to her at a level that she can understand so that she will see that there is a difference between the rulings of sharee’ah and the way her mother is behaving. Who knows – perhaps she will advise her mother, in the moving and innocent manner of children – to wear hijaab).

With regard to the second question, there is no doubt that fathers are responsible if their wives and daughters do not wear hijaab and do not adhere to the rulings of sharee’ah, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” [al-Tahreem 66:6]

And as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock… the man is a shepherd over the members of his household and is responsible for his flock…”

But if a person does all that he can and strives his utmost, but does not achieve any results, Allaah will excuse him and will not punish him; on the contrary, He will reward him for his efforts, and Allaah does not cause the reward for any good deed to be lost.

[Muslim89]

:sl:

There seems to be a lot of emotional and judgemental comments on this thread. The Husband has a genuine concern and is worried about his responsibilities as the head of the home. This is a matter relating directly to the deen and therefore, he needs to see his situation and how he can handle it. If the husband wishes to keep trying and remain patient with his wife, then this is his choice. If he feels that he has tried enough & cannot be patient any longer and prefers to divorce her and find someone who is on a similar level to him, then this is also his choice. He knows his situation and what he can/can't handle. Both husband and wife need to understand the importance of obedience to Allaah. Our relationships are protected and blessed when we obey the commandments of Allaah; whereas when we don't, then we bring upon ourselves difficulties, and calamities and a decrease in our blessings . May Allah guide and help them both. Aameen.

To the OP, regarding your responsibility towards protecting yourself & your spouse from the hell-fire, the following may help ;

I cannot thank you enough for understanding my point of view. Thank you for your clear answer. Like i said before i am just worried about myself. But of course i try my best to make her a good muslim.

[piXie]

I cannot thank you enough for understanding my point of view. Thank you for your clear answer. Like i said before i am just worried about myself.But of course i try my best to make her a good muslim.

Brother, so long as the husband continues working towards helping his wife's Emaan, praying for her and enjoins the right and forbids the wrong understanding it's conditions, then he will not be held accountable if the wife still does not listen. Some husbands still prefer to remain married to their wives and keep trying because they cannot leave them. Others leave because they are not able to stay in a constant -battle - with - spouse relationship. This depends on the individual and their Eemaan, and Islam does not compel anyone beyond their endurance or capacity. But one should constantly seek guidance from Allaah and check themselves that their approach is correct and wise, and not one that is turning their spouse away. A certain amount of understanding, toleration, and patience is needed too.

[Umm♥Layth]

I could say that some Muslims do so. Or do you think that it´s not allowed in Islam to marry with person you love (have feeling of love before marriage, no physical contacts of course)?

Well you see, love takes time to develop. What people develop first and confuse as love is actually lust. True love develops with time as you get to know a person. You HAVE to get to know somebody to develop love, so this would cross lines from an islamic perspective. A couple would have to talk alot by themselves to develop this kind of love. Ask a couple who has been married for 60 years what love means and then ask a young couple who recently married... you'll get very different answers.

People simply don't get "love struck", they become infatuated and full of lust, which is what is needed to start a relationship and this can only be explored freely in marriage. The modern western ideal of love focuses on this phase and this phase only lol. We can marry somebody we appreciate and like, sure, but I wouldn't call it love.

When people marry based on the lusty version of "love", which is what most people do today, it gives the marriage a very shaky foundations. It quickly wears off within a couple of years when the real struggles of marriage begin. That initial attraction ceases and it is normal, but people interpret this as "falling out of love" or "I no longer have feelings for my spouse" or "I don't feel the same way about him/her as I did" and really, it is a transition. In Islam we recognize this, or we are supposed to anyway.

I feel like this post is all over the place.... I hope I made sense lol.

[azc]

Dear brothers and sisters,

My wife converted to the Islam 2 years ago and is originally from Peru. Lately I am facing some serious problems with my wife. My wife refuse to wear a hijab, is temperament and is sometimes really stubborn with me. I explained her that wearing hijab is really important in the Islam, she know this also. But she told me that for her is difficult and she will never wear a scarf or hijab. I told her that I want to see her in the paradise and we have to work together to achieve it. But, I cannot do this by myself. Also I told her that I am responsible for her and she need to obey me instead to be stubborn.

My wife she pray her 5 daily prayers and she also doing the Ramadan.

I cannot force my wife to wear the hijab, but I am also tired to repeat and to fight for this. I think my wife will not change her mind set. We still don’t have children, is it for me acceptable to stay in this relationship or do I need to divorce her? Or follow and do this for Allah?

Thank you for advising.

Divorce isn't a good idea. Give her some more time.
Keep patience.

[AbdurRahman.]

Brother just be patient for with her no matter how long it may take for her to wear hijab

you married a convert right?, so you should expect that she may have difficulties adjusting fully to this way of life so all the more reason to be patient!

[Bobbyflay23]

Thanks for your ref but its not a fatwa but a history whose citation or proof is not given from hadith or Noble Quran , but Its a misunderstanding imo . it says they were disbelievers and were destroyed. Its not a proof they lived together after Noah AS had received prophethood as many Prophet may have received Prophethood after they had married already . As per the Noble Quran (the last law which Muslims ought to follow unless you do not find any ref even from sahabas, Tabieens to our issue we can refer the earlier prophets histories ) once you know your spouse is a kafir the marriage itself becomes void imo. Prophet :saws: took divorce of one of his daughter whose husband did not revert to Islam.

The Noble Quran is clear cut not to Marry a Kafir ie an idolator . If you are talking about Kafir in the sense of People of the Book like Jews , Christians ( & may be followers of Zoraster or Magians Whom Umar RA classified them as People of the Book ) there are allowances as in this fatwa https://islamqa.info/en/21380

But IMO its best to marry a Pious Muslim or a Revert who enters Islam will fully FOR ISLAM & FOR HER ALLAH , since they are one who will make your happy family with understanding the value of her husband and the necessity to follow Islam.

I ment fatwas on man marrying a kuffar not Noah marrying kuffar yes that's definitely not a fatwa but if you go on the internet and look up man marrying non Muslim you'll find those fatwas

[Bobbyflay23]

I cannot thank you enough for understanding my point of view. Thank you for your clear answer. Like i said before i am just worried about myself. But of course i try my best to make her a good muslim.

This is a trial for you though for you to give up on her just because she's a new practicing Muslim is failing the test but for you to stay with her and make her a good Muslim and basically give her dawah then you pass the test so hey you may divorce her if that's really how you view it but allah hates divorce and you'd be making Sheyton happy and it's all over a headscarf and for you to stay married to her you'd get good deeds for passing the test

[Sakina'141]

Thank you all for the understanding and nice support. May Allah s.w.t forgive all your sins in this beautiful month of the Ramadan. I will check the videos in sha Allah. Please make some dua for my marriage.

:sl: dear brother Muslim89,

May Allah swt put right all your affairs and grant you a very beautiful marraige full of increased love and understanding, Ameen.

It's Ramadan, try not to think about divorcing/seperating from you wife right now. Instead spend your time in this Holy month getting closer to Allah with your wife. Some things you can do together that will increase the love & understanding between your wife and you and bring you both closer to Allah swt:

- Pray together: Be the Imam, the leader of the Prayers in your house...you can pray normal daily prayers or taraweeh etc. together.
- Read Quran together - Its beutiful to read Quran together & to teach her how to read the Quran, remember to be patient - correct her gently and read, practice, learn Quran together. Its beautiful to memorise and practice together.
- Read Hadiths/Islamic books together - its beautiful to read, learn and teach your family.
- Take her to the mosque to pray taraweeh and other prayers, it will be good for her to be in the mosque and she can meet some good practising sisters there
- Listen to Islamic lectures/talks/Quran with meaning together - its soothing experience
- Spend time helping her prepare Iftar/suhoor in the kitchen - it can be fun experience!! You don't have to be a masterchief...you can cut the fruits and make the salad which requires no cooking experience...the point is that you spend time with your wife in the kitchen being helpful and enjoying each others company.
- There are many other good you can do together inshaAllah.

Focus on doing some good acts of worship with your wife on regular basis and the natural need to wear hijab will come to her eventually InshaAllah. Don't overburden her with everything at once, take one step at a time, no one is perfect. Little steps over time goes a long way. Hijab will be a natural process that comes with increase in understanding and connection with Allah swt. Help her and yourself to get closer to Allah and it will come and be easy for her to wear it and obey you (as husband) in worshipping/doing good for the sake of Allah swt. :alhamd:

Truly, wish you & your wife the Best of this world and hereafter. May Allah swt grant you and your wife deep understanding and love, Ameen.
May Allah swt guide us in the right path that earns His pleasure always, Ameen.

:jz:

[Bhabha]

You knew what you were getting into marrying a South American lady. :)

She doesn't want to wear the scarf and it's understandable because of where we come from (I'm south American too) and so I can sympathize with her. If you force her or tell her that you will divorce her because she doesn't wear the scarf, you will be turning her away from Islam and causing more harm. For South Americans, women who wear the "scarf" on their heads are older women, widows, grandmothers, etc.. We see the scarf as that kind of representation and for her to wear the scarf is to find herself being part of that.

May I ask your background?

So that I know the differences in culture, since Latin American women might seem temperamental to some cultures.

[xa_xa_ft]

Divorce her because she doesnt want to wear a hijab???? didnt you think about this or talk about it before marrying her??


Please dont force religion on her and get counselling on how to support her and give her the love she needs not argue with her because your mindset is different.

Accept her for who she is.

AND PLEASE WHEN DIVORCING HER DONT TIHNK THIS IS SOMETHING ALLAH WILL AGREE WITH BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS COMPROMISE - NOT SHE WONT WEAR HIJAB SO DIVORCE.

THATS like saying oh he lost his job and so cant suport me DIVORCE

:hmm:

[STN]

^I agree with sister above.

SubhanAllah, she prays 5 times and fasts on ramadan. If she doesn't wear hijab, act like a human and ask her why. Maybe she feels shy or singled out in which case find a way to remedy that.

Allah is Well-Aware of the conditions of heart so if you want to divorce her because you found some other woman you're interested in, know that it's a big sin and you will be asked for it. No human is perfect and we have to be understanding and you want to divorce over such a small issue as hijab?.

She is not walking naked is she like the Kafir girls? I don't think she will if she prays 5 times.

Go and migrate to a Muslim country where she will not feel weird wearing hijab but will feel weird when NOT wearing hijab. You are a man so this is on you and you will be asked because she's dependent on you, if she can't practice Islam because of the culture there, go and migrate.

Why did you even marry her then if you can't handle one small thing.

Also i know the thread is old but had to reply.

[Scimitar]

Even if she slips into those things they are valid reasons for divorce but that's like only if he wants a divorce if he still loves her and she slips into kuffar or shirk he could just stay married to her because as I said even Noah (as) was married to a kuffar but like if he doesn't like his wife and she's doing major things like riba or stealing than he should divorce her so like I mean don't base is by her sins and don't base it by your feelings for her combine it if she's a awful Muslim with a horrible character that hasn't been willing to change and you can't bear her then sure divorce is fine but if it's purley because she sins or it's purley because you don't like her personality you shouldn't divorce her because both of those are things that can change

whoa there hoarsy who made you a scholar? coz you aint!!!

[jameelash]

She prays and fast .think of it isnt it a blessing .Dont force her on wearing hijab . Instead give her time . The more u force the more irrtated she willbe. Dont u have religious friends as well as family

Take her to such places .let her bcome close to them.gradually she will understand the beauty of hijab.since she is new muslim forcing will only make her iritate she prays and fast which is more important .covering comes gradually . She believed u and married u . When i got married to a religious man i prayed nd fasted except covering. But he never commented on that .gradually i learned the importance of hijabe nd started covering my head . May Allah grand u and ur wilfe long lasting happiness Aameen

['Abd-al Latif]

Dear brothers and sisters,

My wife converted to the Islam 2 years ago and is originally from Peru. Lately I am facing some serious problems with my wife. My wife refuse to wear a hijab, is temperament and is sometimes really stubborn with me. I explained her that wearing hijab is really important in the Islam, she know this also. But she told me that for her is difficult and she will never wear a scarf or hijab. I told her that I want to see her in the paradise and we have to work together to achieve it. But, I cannot do this by myself. Also I told her that I am responsible for her and she need to obey me instead to be stubborn.

My wife she pray her 5 daily prayers and she also doing the Ramadan.

I cannot force my wife to wear the hijab, but I am also tired to repeat and to fight for this. I think my wife will not change her mind set. We still don’t have children, is it for me acceptable to stay in this relationship or do I need to divorce her? Or follow and do this for Allah?

Thank you for advising.

:salamext:

I'm closing this thread because this issue needs to be discussed in a Sharia council. For future reference, you should not ask random people to guide you to such an important decision in your personal life. It's inappropriate.

I will send you a private message about this to discuss some matters that need to remain private.

To all those who participated on this thread: unless you have experience working in a Sharia Council or other related family organisation please refrain from advising others in such a sensitive and personal matter.

:threadclo