Who is more of a fitna: Men or Women?

People in all religions use to say that women are the biggest fitna for men, but I discussed my mom wasn't it the other way around?


For example, Asiyah the wife of the Pharoah had higher status than Uthman or Abu Bakr since she is the Queen of Jannah, but her biggest trial was fear of her husband and what he would do to her.

Maryam, mother of Jesus, biggest trial was her son and what people (especially the men) would say about her and her chastity.

Honestly, the most pain to women are caused by men.

The women men must struggle with their Iman when their husband hits them or harm them.

Even if I wear the hijab, some men try to flirt with me even if I don't give them any sign of being interested in them. They say kind things to me and I feel flattered but when they ask for my number I had to struggle to say no.

Women are shy by nature, but men they try to seduce them by compliments and praises.
My married neighbor cheated on her husband with a man ten years younger than her.

Women do cheat as much as men, but for emotional reasons. The women I work with talk about the men they like and I just try to change the topic.

So is men or women more of fitna?

First of all, don't talk about what your neighbor did or the sins she did. You are gossiping about another person.

Second, men flirt with you when you give them the door to flirting. I commute every single day to work, and I sail in a club that is mostly guys. No one flirts, because I do not give them the grounds to flirt, guys know when you will reject them before you even open your mouth to talk. Just don't even look at them at all, you'll be fine and don't accept their compliments, just walk away. Are you going to be fired? punished, etc for not listening to their compliments? even at work, there are harassment policies that prevent this kind of stuff.

Wearing the hijab or not wearing the hijab doesn't mean you won't get badgered. I've experienced more harassment while wearing the hijab, then when not wearing it. Of course when wearing the hijab I can't be "rude" to someone because I'm in a position of representing Islam, but without the hijab I can just walk away and completely, totally, avoid the guy bothering me and "Islam" or my Muslim identity won't be blamed for being rude and walking away. There's that situation right there.

I feel like women actually complicate things. They gossip, talk about each other, don't stand up for each other, don't stand up for themselves, confuse having haya with being shy to speak up for the things that matter, don't talk directly....

My mother has always said this and I do consider it true,

"Men will only go so far as the woman lets them"

Whether it is in business, or personal matters. If a guy is successful, has worked hard for his money, a woman who is considerate and shares the same kind of mindset in business will add or ameliorate his condition, but if you have a woman who only seeks to spend, to shop in lavish things, to basically deteriorate a man's wealth.. well, I feel bad for the guy.

In personal matters, men are visual creatures, women are wired entirely different. Men can't control some PARTS of their bodies if there's literally a seductress right there tempting them or inciting them. It is so difficult. But for women, it's a totally different playing field, we're not wired to react with certain parts of our bodies to stimuli like men do...

In conclusion,

Women are more fitna

Neither I view women a fitna nor I would like to be viewed as a fitna by women. It is our lack of capability to control our sexual desires which is the source of fitna.

In personal matters, men are visual creatures, women are wired entirely different. Men can't control some PARTS of their bodies if there's literally a seductress right there tempting them or inciting them. It is so difficult. But for women, it's a totally different playing field, we're not wired to react with certain parts of our bodies to stimuli like men do...

i actually gave up on women when my first crush used me for money and emotional blackmailing,i dont care about women anymore,just work hard make earning and marry to procreate few kids and possible wont be staying in long term relationship anytime soon.

guess it means i wont experience love and i am failure at relationships,marriages etc. ,i also have mild OCD where i am obsessed with cleanness and i get paranoid getting diseases .

anatolian said:

Neither I view women a fitna nor I would like to be viewed as a fitna by women. It is our lack of capability to control our sexual desires which is the source of fitna.

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Not true. It is only natural to be inclined from both sides so caution is always needed.

Umm Abed said:

Not true. It is only natural to be inclined from both sides so caution is always needed.

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I did not say caution is not needed. And of course it is natural to be inclined to the opposite gender. However, considering the members of the opposite gender as a source of fitna is completely a different thing. Fitna is an "evil" matter that departs people from the ways of Allah. It must be eliminated. I dont view women potentially as an evil matter that departs me from the ways of Allah which needs to be eliminated. Women are potentially a blessing for men and men are potentially a blessing for women. It is our ignorance and lack caapability of control of sexual desires which regards them as a "fitna".

Just to clarify, when we say fitnah here in this context it means more of a trial and a challenge rather than something bad or evil.

I think women has more fitnah
but if she do her hijab and stay away from being attractive than in this way if a men try to attract her than he will be at that way more fitnah
but if not ... than each doing from men will be a reaction of the women's doing
thank you for this
and may Allah make us nor being the reason of letting people far from Allah
we are more responsible of the men's Deen because of what we should hide because if we don't do than its against other people's freedom

Our Lord, make us not [objects of] torment for the disbelievers and forgive us, our Lord. Indeed, it is You who is the Exalted in Might, the Wise