Why does she get to talk to boys on social media BUT NOT ME?????

[Mustafa16]

many of you may know the situation with me semi-obsessing over my childhood friend/childhood crush, who lives far away and whose father won't let me talk to her and who I harassed for this reason and got into trouble with for trying to contact her, but have since reconciled with him. Well, I did tell many of you how I found out she was following my little brother on Instagram, but I told myself, "she's probably just thinking of him as a little brother" but now I see she is following and talking to a bunch of boys her age or older on twitter......WHY!!!!!! why can she talk to whoever she wants, but if I try to talk to her it's "NOT MODEST"??????? what in the world?????!!!!! I'm EXTREMELY angry....someone please calm me down

[sister herb]

whose father won't let me talk to her and who I harassed for this reason and got into trouble with for trying to contact her

You already answered to your question. Women don´t like men whose are trying to contact to them so urgently that it feels as harassing. Be happy that you don´t be in danger of increasing fitnah and stop stalking what this and that girl is doing in the social media.

[Mustafa16]

You already answered to your question. Women don´t like men whose are trying to contact to them so urgently that it feels as harassing. Be happy that you don´t be in danger of increasing fitnah and stop stalking what this and that girl is doing in the social media.

so should I contact her and apologize? or no because her dad said talking unnecessarily with the opposite sex is a sin and he had that talk with his sons as well? or is he lying?

[sister herb]

No. You shouldn´t contact to her at all but leave her alone.

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[Mustafa16]

No. You shouldn´t contact to her at all but leave her alone.

then why did her father say nothing when I texted him informing him that my brother and her were following each other on Instagram???? and could I still marry her? on the other hand, maybe I shouldn't marry her, given her betrayal.

[sister herb]

:facepalm:

[Mustafa16]

:facepalm:

a facepalm is not an answer to my question, you'll have to be more specific.

[sister herb]

This is useless as you never listen our advices, just same how many times we give them to you and always about the similar matter. If hers father has told you before stop harassing him or her, just stop contacting to this family. With who this girl is chatting, it is none of your business at all.

[Arfa]

Dear brother,

Just leave the girl alone! It's desrespectful I mean clearly when even her dad told you not to contact her. Like sister herb adviced you here it falls into category of harassment when you keep stalking someone. May Allah give you peace and bliss

[STN]

Brother, you can't tell it yourself but from how it looks to us from here is you're creeping the girl out and his dad. And the girl seems to be enjoying it or doing it out of spite because of your behavior and to make you jealous or maybe she just doesn't like you.

This is not even about Islam. This is about girls and i can tell you the way you're acting, you're giving her all the control. She doesn't have any respect for you and your continued obsession with her is making it even easier for her to toy with you.

You have zero chance of getting this girl to like you, don't even think about marriage especially the way you're acting around her. If you were even to get married to her by somehow forcing her father, you would regret it the first night because if a girl doesn't like you, she can make your life a living hell. With your current behavior, you're only repelling her away you know like the same sides of magnets and the magnets are getting stronger(your behavior) so the repelling is getting stronger =)

Here's a story from my own life.

Some years back where i was studying, there was this girl who really liked me. And back then, i really wasn't interested in girls...had other priorities in life etc. I was always nice but acted like i didn't know what was up. And she would try to talk to me and generally do things that show her likeness for me (i don't want to go into that now) and the strange thing is, the more she tried, the less interested i became. It wasn't that she wasn't attractive - by all means she was and one of my friend tried really to marry her and she eventually got married to him - but i didn't have to work for her affection, her liking and that somehow made me less interested. If it was now, i probably would have tried to hit on her first before she had a chance lol.

So the point is to her, you're the girl in my story but worse...you're creeping her out. Questioning her, talking to her father....take a step back and look at your behavior. Does it feel okay to you? She and her family might even feel threatened and be scared of you.

How would you feel if someone else was doing that to your sister? Yep, that's how her family is feeling.