Girlfriends and Drinking

[ConfusedGal]

ASA,
Tonight, my parents and I found out that my older brother has had a girlfriend for a while and has also been drinking alcohol. My parents sat him down and told him that they only wanted what was best for him. They also said that if he were to continue on this haram path that he would lose his family. He replied he did not want to lose us and that he wanted to change. I was not in the same room when this conversation was going on, but I did overhear this. I've been crying for the past few hours. I feel like I'm blaming myself but I know that he made his own choices. I only want what is best for my brother. I love him and want to see him be a better Muslim. I fear what awaits for him in the afterlife. What can I do to help him through this time? What can I say to him? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

[greenhill]

Welcome to the forum.

Yes you are right, it is his choice at the end of the day but I don't understand why it is that you feel like blaming yourself?

Anyway, it is impossible to tell you what to do or say except for you to talk to him and tell him how you feel about it as his sister (I am guessing that you are younger than him).

It could very well be a phase he is going through or went through. Hopefully will turn out a better person.

Wishing you a great stay.


:peace:

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum

Maybe you could ask advice from your parents in this situation, depending how you have usually handle with kind of issues in your family.

[Ummshareef]

Wa alaikum asalaam,

The key in these situations is to make dua, dua and more dua. Ask Allah suhanahu wa ta'alaa to help and guide your brother. You may have to do it many, many times but you can be certain that your prayer will be heard and that Allah will answer it in the way that is best for us. Sometimes this means we do not even recognise that our duas have been answered and sometimes they are not answered in exactly the way we expect or even want, but they are always answered, whether or not we realise it.

In terms of practical steps you can take, why not have a chat with him and remind him of the need to seek Allah's pleasure throughout our lives, through our thoughts and deeds. Tell him that you are willing to help and encourage him to change and transform his life for the better inshallah. Make sure that he is aware that such relationships are forbidden in Islam and be prepared to explain the reason why Allah subhanahu wa ta'alaa has forbidden them. Also explain to him that alcohol is not allowed in Islam because it makes us speak nonsense and is bad for the wonderful bodies that Allah has given us. Remind him that fornication and drinking alcohol are two of only a very few sins for which Allah has prescribed a specific punishment. Do everything you can to help him build up his taqwa.