Problem with Parent in law house...wut to deal?

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Stoic

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:hmm:::heated:il
So my wife's parent house is.....well....not exactly....uhh...clean. In other words...they are hoarders!!!!!! Like you see on reality shows or news of people having so much stuff in their house. Its so baaaaad. La ila ha illAllah. There is nowhere to sit besides a small table and a bed. The living room is just full. The sofa is hidden becuz so many stuff on it and there's bugs scattered everywhere :omg:. It looks like years of buildup!!!

I wouldn't feel good with my soon to be born son insha Allah be at this place or have them babysit if me and my wife need to be somewhere. I would rather my parents house but they live in another state.

Example pic from Google to get an idea wut I'm talking about: 5f3a149a91d8a56b25a7eaaff9fef23b--personal-organizer-professional-organizers.jpg

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I ask my wife and she tells me its because of a disorder and trauma from the past they had during war times. When they didn't have anything now just wanna make sure they have everything or something like that. Yes they're old..
 
Be patient with them brother. Your kindness and understanding of the situation will mean a lot to your wife

Can you look for your own accommodation
 
Is that a Corona carton I see there? Looks for other living arrangements brother.
 
Stoic said:
:hmm:::heated:il
So my wife's parent house is.....well....not exactly....uhh...clean. In other words...they are hoarders!!!!!! Like you see on reality shows or news of people having so much stuff in their house. Its so baaaaad. La ila ha illAllah. There is nowhere to sit besides a small table and a bed. The living room is just full. The sofa is hidden becuz so many stuff on it and there's bugs scattered everywhere :omg:. It looks like years of buildup!!!

I wouldn't feel good with my soon to be born son insha Allah be at this place or have them babysit if me and my wife need to be somewhere. I would rather my parents house but they live in another state.

Example pic from Google to get an idea wut I'm talking about: View attachment 6385

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I ask my wife and she tells me its because of a disorder and trauma from the past they had during war times. When they didn't have anything now just wanna make sure they have everything or something like that. Yes they're old..
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so you are staying in a godown....
 
maybe your wife can help support them to clean up, or hire someone once they have decided what to do with the stuff, maybe even convince them to have a shed, where they can move the extra things, and have more space to enjoy a cleaner space.. make the house look good once, a big task im aware, more so when it is a habit and a pattern to a past anchoring.... this way they still can feel secure that they have things in case of an emergency.. that is how they think, because they had an experience..and hopefully help them to feel safty in the transition.. we never know until we try, and im a great believer that we can solve when we know what options we have.. and then go through implementing to see which one gets the job done.. and is healing .. best wishes with the little baby and blessings for the future...
 
eesa the kiwi said:
Be patient with them brother. Your kindness and understanding of the situation will mean a lot to your wife

Can you look for your own accommodation
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What do u mean own accommodation?

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Umme salma said:
maybe your wife can help support them to clean up, or hire someone once they have decided what to do with the stuff, maybe even convince them to have a shed, where they can move the extra things, and have more space to enjoy a cleaner space.. make the house look good once, a big task im aware, more so when it is a habit and a pattern to a past anchoring.... this way they still can feel secure that they have things in case of an emergency.. that is how they think, because they had an experience..and hopefully help them to feel safty in the transition.. we never know until we try, and im a great believer that we can solve when we know what options we have.. and then go through implementing to see which one gets the job done.. and is healing .. best wishes with the little baby and blessings for the future...
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Thanks. Oh this kind of buildup that took years of buildup I'm sure its better to hire someone to do it. Mouse poop everywhere too...
 
Stoic said:
What do u mean own accommodation?- - - Updated - - -Thanks. Oh this kind of buildup that took years of buildup I'm sure its better to hire someone to do it. Mouse poop everywhere too...
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Wil they dislike if you get the home cleaned and put all things in order..?
 
Stoic said:
What do u mean own accommodation?

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Thanks. Oh this kind of buildup that took years of buildup I'm sure its better to hire someone to do it. Mouse poop everywhere too...
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As in your own place not living with her parents
 
I can understand your worry..more so for the little one..in sha Allaah..yes hiring someone will help ease the burden, maybe this little ruh might be the blessings to help them realise the need for change.. hope all goes well for you all..
 
azc said:
perhaps his wife wants to live in her parents' home.
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No she does not. Why would she? No one does. Trust me...

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azc said:
perhaps his wife wants to live in her parents' home.
Click to expand...

No she does not. Why would she? No one does. Trust me...

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Umme salma said:
I can understand your worry..more so for the little one..in sha Allaah..yes hiring someone will help ease the burden, maybe this little ruh might be the blessings to help them realise the need for change.. hope all goes well for you all..
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Could be..
 

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