عن أنس رضى الله عنه قال بنى على النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم بزينب ابنة جحش بخبز ولحم فأرسلت على الطعام داعيا فيجىء قوم فيأكلون ويخرجون ، ثم يجىء قوم فيأكلون ويخرجون ، فدعوت حتى ما أجد أحدا أدعو فقلت يا نبى الله ما أجد أحدا أدعوه قال ارفعوا طعامكم ...(رواه البخاري)
Anas (Radhiyallahu Anhu) states, “To celebrate his marriage to Zaynab bint Jahash (Radhiyallahu Anha), Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) hosted a meal of bread and meat. I was sent to invite people to the meal and as they arrived, they ate and left. When I could find no more to invite, I submitted, ‘O Nabi of Allah, I cannot find anyone else to invite’. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) then gave the instruction for the food to be taken away …
(Sahih al-Bukhari Vol.6 Pg.29 – Dar al-Fikr)
Note that no wedding cards were given out and the guests were not informed in advance. Moreover, Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) did not feel ashamed in inviting the guests group by group and not fitting them in one grand hall. The meal did not consist of a variety of food.
Nabi’s (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) marriage to Safiyyah bint Huyay (Radhiyallahu Anha):
عن أنس رضى الله عنه قال أقام النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم بين خيبر والمدينة ثلاثا يبنى عليه بصفية بنت حيى فدعوت المسلمين إلى وليمته فما كان فيها من خبز ولا لحم ، أمر بالأنطاع فألقى فيها من التمر والأقط والسمن فكانت وليمته ...(رواه البخاري)
Anas (Radhiyallahu Anhu) states, “Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) camped at a place between Khaybar and Madinah for three days. It was here that he consummated his marriage to Safiyyah (Radhiyallahu Anha), after which I invited the Muslims present to a Walima meal that featured neither bread nor meat. Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) instructed for a leather tablecloth to be spread. He then scattered dates cheese and butter unto it. This was the Walima of Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) …
(Sahih al-Bukhari Vol.6 Pg.149 – Dar al-Fikr)
Note the simplicity in the walimah meal. A leather tablecloth was spread and dates, cheese and butter were scattered. No meat was served!
Dressing of the woman of Madina in the time of Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam):
وعن عبد الواحد بن أيمن قال حدثنى أبى قال دخلت على عائشة رضى الله عنها وعليها درع قطر ثمن خمسة دراهم ، فقالت ارفع بصرك إلى جاريتى ، انظر إليها فإنها تزهى أن تلبسه فى البيت ، وقد كان لى منهن درع على عهد رسول الله - صلى الله عليه وسلم - ، فما كانت امرأة تقين بالمدينة إلا أرسلت إلى تستعيره . (رواه البخاري)
‘Abdul Wahid bin Aiman narrates from his father who says that one day he went to 'Aishah (Radhiyallahu Anha) and she was wearing a coarse dress costing five Dirhams. 'Aishah (Radhiyallahu Anha) said, “Look at my slave-girl who refuses to wear it in the house. I had a similar dress during the lifetime of Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). Every woman in Madian desiring to appear elegant (before her husband) borrowed it from me."
(Sahih al-Bukhari Vol.3 Pg.194 – Dar al-Fikr)
The abovementioned portrays the simplicity of the women of Madina in the time of Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). They did not waste money in buying a dress to adorn themselves in front of their husbands, which is in fact permissible in Shari’ah. On the other hand, the brides of today spend thousands in buying a dress to show and impress other people, which is prohibited in Shari’ah.
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Repercussions of not following the teachings of Islam
The Ummah today is facing the repercussions of following the ways of the disbelievers, and being extravagant in there weddings.
From the time a girl is born in the house, the fathers are worried and start saving up for the marriage and dowry. In some Indian villages, the fathers feed the daughters with poison when they are born, due to the abovementioned worry.
Dowries are demanded even from the poor, and they go to the extent of taking zakat. We receive many questions in Ramadhan from people asking if it is permissible to give zakat to a person who needs money to give out his daughter’s dowry.
So many Muslims are left homeless all around the world; but Muslims still feel it is fair and permissible to waste so much money in weddings.
The marriages are devoid of all blessing due to the extravagance that takes place; hence, we find that the rate of divorce amongst the Muslims is very high. Moreover, the children born from such weddings tend to disobey their parents, and parents go around seeking for a solution, whilst the actual cause was not following the teachings of Islam in the weddings.
The Islamic way of life was supposed to be a means of attracting non-Muslims towards Islam; but since the Islamic morale has left the wedding, the wrong image of Islam is portrayed to the onlookers and media. The non-Muslims see no difference between their religion and Islam and are not attracted towards it.
A few frequently asked questions
Hereunder, we mention a few questions that are frequently asked by people when they are educated with the teachings of Islam in regards to marriage;
Q. What is wrong in spending so much when we have got the means to do so?
A1. The money we possess is an amanat (trust) given to us by Alah Ta’ala. One of the questions we will be asked on the day of Qiyamah is regarding our money, how we earned it and where we spent it. We will not be able to move from our places unless we answer these questions. Hence, it will be incorrect of us to spend our wealth contrary to the commandments of Allah Ta’ala.
It's been elaborated above that extravagant weddings are devoid of the blessings from Allah Ta’ala. Moreover, by being extravagant in our weddings, we set high standards fro those who cannot afford it, and they end up taking loan or asking for charity.
Q. We do not spend only in our wedding ceremonies, but we also do a lot of community work and give out a lot of charity, then why should it not be permissible?
Besides what we have already mentioned in the first answer, we would also like to ask that if it is the case, then why is it that there are still so many Muslims in the world that are in need of charity? To what level have we Muslims fulfilled our obligations of seeing to there needs?
Q. How can we keep away from the customs that we have inherited from our forefathers?
The infidels of Makkah made the same excuse when Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) called them towards Islam. They asked Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) as to how they could leave the religion of their forefathers for the religion that Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) had brought. Quran speaks of the same regarding the nations of past, when their Prophets brought the message of Allah to them. At the same time Quran also mentions what was the fate of these nations, and how they were destroyed. We ask these people, do you wish the same fate for yourselves by giving preference to the custom of your forefathers over the commandments of Allah? We have to decide for ourselves whether we want to please the people of this world or Allah Ta’ala.
To end thereof, we should make an effort in educating the Muslim community with the teachings of Islam in regards to Nikah. We should also try to approach the elders of the family and explain to them the consequences of these practices. If all efforts fail, we should refrain from them ourselves. When more people start refraining from such ceremonies, the others will realize their wrong and mend their ways. If we keep going with the flow, people will start thinking its permissible and such actions will continue in our children. May Allah Ta’ala give us all the ability to stay away from practices that bring the wrath of Allah Ta’ala
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