I read the ahadeth and I believe in it and it is beautiful, no question about it. But I want us men to be smart when entering marriage and know it is not unicorn or ramboe. When you see video like these I am hoping we don't jump into marriage under the name of love, nor under she is pretty and diffidently not under through hormones. Nowadays marriage is infested with Fitna way worse than what it was in the day of the prophets. Nowadays the evil and fitna is worse and laws here are different than how it was in the day of prophets. So men have to becareful when entering marriage and make sure he can protect himself 100% just in case it goes haywire. However, I believe 100% in that ahadeth and I do want to complete half my deen but it is hard for me to do it when there is so much fitnah and my sanity is at risk. I love my sanity and I am emotional guy...these two combinations goes against me if I live in such laws like this where it gives ammunition for any evil woman to use the law against me. I get defensive fast and I get emotional and raise my voice when I talk defensive...all of these are weakness and ammunition for any wife to say, "My husband is verbally abusing to me.". A risk I am terrified to be at.
However, isn't there an aheedth that says if there is fitna in marriage do not get married? I am just curious. I am only asking because I want closure on this and not die thinking that there is such ahadeeth.
“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust. (Bukhari & Muslim)
Bro, my sincere, humble and firm advice for you or for any other Brother or Sister on this forum or anywhere in the world is to make a firm and determined intention that you will either marry someone whose deen is firm and sound or you do not marry at all.
I have seen enough failed marriages personally (I don't need statistics) and heard enough cases of people I know of personally of men who treat good women like garbage and crazy psycho women who are nothing but an overburdening misery for good men. I swear by Allah, it is better to be single and endure the hardship of celibacy and loneliness for a thousand years than to endure the constant company of some of these creatures who are nothing but a burden on their mates.
This is a rule of Dunya that we should all follow so that we can have both this world and the next:
Zaid ibn Thabit reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Whoever makes the world his greatest concern, Allah will confound his affairs and make poverty appear before his eyes and he will not get anything from the world except what has been decreed for him. Whoever makes the Hereafter his most important matter, Allah will settle his affairs and make him content in his heart and the world will come to him although he does not want it.” (Ibn Mājah)
InshaAllah, if you take this attitude, Allah ('Azza wa Jal) Will Give you a good wife who will be a comfort for you, not a painful, tormenting burden.
Of course, it goes without saying, that you yourself, should work on being a good man so as to be a good catch for a good sister. But this is all part of making the Akhirah your main concern anyway.
Also, even in good women, you will find flaws, and there will be issues. And this is to be expected. Even the Prophet :saws1: had issues with his wives. But with a good woman it's manageable.
Allahu 'Alim